AN: I have the absolute, best readers in the world! I'm so pleased you liked the last chapter. Here's the next one!

Chapter 21. Sweet Nothings

Anne found me in the kitchen later, helping Alice by making biscuits. I had burst in there an hour previous and had implored her to give me something to do. Our kind cook had taken in my distressed expression and smiled. "Well, if you could whip up a few batches of toffee chunk biscuits, I'd be most obliged."

I had groaned aloud remembering that certain bake stuff as one of L's top five of all time, but tied on an apron and got to work. Manual labor was the only way I think for keeping my mind occupied and away from other threads of consciousness. Alice had went to take a well-deserved rest most likely in her quarters.

"Grace!" Anne rushed over to me where I stood spooning batter onto the bake sheet and also trying not to get my candy necklace stuck in it. "Jude just told me the craziest thing!"

Damn Jude Caul to Everest. Why wasn't I the least surprised? I stared at her stricken and made an effort to respond. "Oh?"

"Yes! I can't believe it! I so never thought it would happen, Gracie! And who could have known it would be so soon?! Not me!"

I went back to my baking, realizing I wouldn't get the chance to privately tell her what had happened between L and me because she already knew. Thanks to the bloody psychic. Not interfering my foot. "Honestly Anne, it doesn't matter. It was stupid, reckless, and impulsive and if it wasn't to get rid of Andrew once and for all, it would never have come to pass!"

Anne didn't follow me, her grin fading. "How would it get rid of Andrew? Why would the one thing affect the other?"

I sighed, my hand streaking flour across my forehead as I wiped perspiration from my brow. She truly wasn't going to make me explain, was she?

"Well, you know, the act caused to him to believe L's ruse that he's my boyfriend...Lord, this is frightfully embarrassing…so I would never have kissed him if it hadn't convinced Hargrove, really. That's the connection."

Anne stared back at me as her smile and eyes got wider and wider. My stomach sank. Oh damn and blast, why couldn't I sense the thread of a conversation anymore? I knew I had the wrong end of the stick when she suddenly gripped my arm like a vice.

"Hang on a sec," she began, her voice shaking with excitement. "Are you saying L and you kissed?"

I blanched. "No, er, that's not what I'm saying at all!"

Anne raised an eyebrow. "Grace Deacon, I did see that picture under your pillow this morning, you know."

I hung my head, defeated. "Very well, I suppose the only thing I can say is yes, you blackmailing cow."

The room reverberated with the ear splitting screech that emitted out of my best friend's mouth before she flung her arms around me, spilling batter all over the countertop. "GRACIE! YOU DIDN'T! Oh my God! Oh my God! Finally! You don't know how long I've been waiting for this, girl!"

I shook my head, wondering just how long it would be before armed response battered down the kitchen door and accused me of murder. "How can you say that? I only told you that I…well, cared for him today!"

"You mean you want to have his babies." Anne winked gleefully as she let me go. "Little clever angels with a chocolate obsession who let their Aunt Annie sketch them for days on end!"

"Have you taken leave of your senses?" I rasped, mortified at the thought. "You're giving us offspring? Stop this now!"

Anne laughed, ignoring me completely. "You kissed him! This is the best news! It matches Jude's in excellence!"

Desperate to turn the conversation away from me and my silly action, I started to wipe the marble countertop with a dampened rag and asked nonchalantly, "So Annie, what was Jude's news?"

She wasn't deterred. "I'll tell you later, I just need to know how this kiss happened. Was it by the pond where all the red and orange leaves are falling into the water making the surface look like it's on fire? Or was it in a private dark corner of the house far away from prying eyes? Did you tell him you love him?! Did he say he loves you? How does he kiss?!"

I shot her a look as the oven timer dinged and I went to take out the last batch. "The answer to all of those questions are no, no, good God no, absolutely not, and it was over too quick to tell."

It had been soft, gentle, and sweet both figuratively and literally. My knees had actually gone weak as they did in all the romance novels I had voraciously read as a young girl, but Anne wasn't getting any of that out of me now.

Anne groaned disappointedly, but it didn't take her long to start grinning again as she followed me over to the cooling racks. "Well, did you like it at least? It was your first kiss after all! You must have an opinion!"

"Well, it was… pleasant I suppose. Just bizarre that my first kiss was with a man whose name I don't even know."

Anne clapped her hands together. "Believe me, you're not the only one. Think of all the people who go to clubs and snog strangers in the dark!"

"That's horrible." I blushed and lifted up the other cooled tray of biscuits from the rack. "Why wouldn't you want to kiss someone you fancy?"

"People can fancy people they don't know. Think about Lordy boy. He fancied you even though he had no idea who you really were."

I sighed, remembering how everything had started in the hall. "I suppose you're right. You can know a person for years without actually knowing them."

"Miss Alice, the aroma coming from here has lured me from the other side of the house. There's nothing quite like that toffee scent."

I froze as L pushed open the swinging kitchen door at that moment to see Annie duck behind the row of refrigerators faster than a rabbit to giggle and for me stare at him openly, barely keeping the latest tray of cookies from falling out of my trembling hands.

His startled eyes met mine, then hovered for a second while he took in my floury hair and the tray of dodgy biscuits in front of me. He ambled into the kitchen and crashed into the table. "Oh, er I didn't know you baked, Grace."

"A match made in heaven!" Anne whispered to me from her hiding place and I wished to murder her so that the armed response would have a reason to come in and take me away from this awkward situation.

I blinked and came to the horrifying conclusion that I was stuck where I stood. It didn't help that his intense eyes were still holding me hostage. "Uh, I don't normally. I thought I'd give Alice a hand. The recipe was fairly simple. Baking is mere science after all."

He pushed back in the chair at the table he had tripped over and pushed some strands of hair out of his eyes. "Would you care to teach me how to make them one day? Then I won't have to linger around waiting for a batch to be made."

"Aww." Anne cooed from her spot and I finally was able to pass him to reach to the counter.

"I suppose. I don't fancy them anyway."

"Then why did you make so many?"

"They're for you!" Anne squealed above a whisper.

"Er, I was being helpful. I didn't know I was filling your order." I picked up the spatula and began scraping the biscuits off of the tray and into a ceramic jar to occupy my hands. "Be kind. It's my first attempt."

He slipped up behind me silently and reached past my waist for the one I had just lifted from the tray. I nearly jumped out of my skin as his arm grazed my side. He popped the entire cookie in his mouth, and chewed vigorously as he still stood quite close to me.

"Well?"

L swallowed and brushed crumbs from his hands. "Sublime. Truly. What can you not do, G?"

"Plenty of things." I kept my head down to my work and cringed when he leaned against the counter grabbing another. Was he purposefully keeping himself in close proximity to me or was it only that I standing between him and his favorite treat? When he reached for a third, I smacked him with the spatula. "That's enough, now! Learn to share!"

L sheepishly withdrew his hand and pouted. "I thought they were all for me."

Maybe they were but I had to stop his accidental touches somehow. I was starting to lose my mind. "Well you thought wrong. I've slaved over these for an hour. I would like them to last as long."

"Wow! I knew I smelled somethin' good in here!"

Liam now poked his head in the door wearing his perpetual grin. "Might I snag a couple of those, mates?"

I deftly nudged L back and smiled back. "Help yourself, they're for everyone."

"Brill!" Liam came all the way into the kitchen and joined us by the counter, waiting eagerly as I lifted some from the baking sheet to put on a china plate for him.

"Here you are. Be sure to get yourself a cold glass of milk to go with them." I eyed the refrigerators slyly. Let's see Anne get out of this one.

"You read my mind! Quite like that Jude kid!" Liam laughed and made his way past us to the fridge. "It's amazing how any of you can have a secret in this house!"

My eyes met L's for a moment and then we both looked away. "Yes, amazing is right."

Liam had opened the last refrigerator in the row and pulled out the pitcher of milk before he noticed Anne failing hopelessly at crouching behind it.

"Oi, what are you doing back there?" he asked with obvious amusement as Anne finally came out from her not so perfect cover and waved at L as if he hadn't seen her in the first place.

"Spying." She proudly admitted and Liam sighed, reaching for her hand.

"Well none of that. Come have some biscuits with me. We've hardly gotten a moment alone."

Anne beamed as Liam put the milk back in the refrigerator and led her out of the kitchen. "Now you're reading my mind! You know, there's this beautiful pond behind the house…"

"Anne's off to be seductive." I rolled my eyes with a smile that disappeared when I realized we were now alone and I had just used the word seductive in front of L. Reddening, I walked across the kitchen to take the final batch to the oven. "We still need to question him. I know he appears so affable and pleasing, but what if he's hard as nails underneath and Annie's never seen it?"

"You worry far too much, Grace." L shook his head, using the same tone Liam had when he had discovered his girlfriend squatting behind an appliance. "Whatever happened to women's intuition? Undoubtedly, you find him a genuinely good person or you would have never given him the biscuits that were rightfully mine."

I shut the door of the oven after sliding the baking sheet inside and laughed. "I could have also done that just to irritate you. Worry not, there are plenty."

"I wasn't about to worry." L pulled out the chair closest to him and gestured to it. "Now, have a seat, G. I think we need to discuss something."

No, no, no! I looked back at him with evident fear, knowing where this was going. Before, I had wanted him to mention the kiss, now I just wished for it to never be mentioned. I knew the moment it was, I'd be lose all coherent speech and that was the last thing I wanted. Especially since it hadn't seemed to affect him in the least.

"What exactly?" I warily questioned him then, keeping my distance.

He now appeared as reluctant as me. "What happened earlier. Please indulge me."

Quickly turning into a nervous wreck I crossed over to the chair and plopped myself down, concentrating on the polished wood grain before me. "What about it? I did say I was sorry."

L remained standing, which I realized had been his aim all along. A person always looks more imposing from a seated position. "I am aware of that, I just want to know why you felt it so important to tell Anne."

I looked up at him alarmed. "But I didn't!"

"Cassandra Grace, come now. Watari and I both heard her, as did likely the rest of the residents of the tri county area and possibly even in Wales."

I gritted my teeth, annoyed. "When will you leave off with the Cassandra? She found out by accident, and why is it any of your concern who I tell anything?"

He smirked as he leaned back against the counter, another biscuit between his fingers. "Well I must say I never expected you to be the sort who kisses and tells that is all."

I gave him a cold look. "Oh, and I suppose you're a saint and haven't told a soul."

"On the contrary, I told Watari."

I was out of my seat then, beyond embarrassed. "You did what? Where in that brain of yours did you find that it would be a smashing idea for our theoretical father to hear what happened? I won't be able to look him in the eye!"

L calmly ate the rest of his biscuit. "But why?" he mumbled, his mouth full. "It wasn't a form of affection. It was simply a ploy to give Hargrove the push. A visual demonstration if you will. Watari found it quite amusing."

Forget any expectation of feelings being reciprocated. L had made the kiss that had put me in such a disjointed state seem as methodical and tedious as a science experiment. My patience with him was growing very thin.

"He said that with your dramatic skill, you probably made it wholly convincing. He applauds you."

Right, dramatic skill. I felt my heart ripping to shreds as he continued in his cool, unaffected voice not caring a whit that the world I had built up since that moment was now tumbling down around us.

"It's a gift." I shrugged lamely, furious with myself for feeling tears pricking my eyes. Andrew Hargrove would never have considered a kiss from me so lacking sincerity. I hadn't kissed that man in three years but had kissed L and I had quickly come to the conclusion that it hadn't mattered.

"Are you all right, Grace? You appear rather distracted." Damn him with the gentleness showing through in his voice as he eyed me with feigned concern.

"I'm quite all right." I answered tersely. "Don't concern yourself about me."

He wouldn't let up. "Well I'm sorry if you wish differently, but you always will be a matter of my concern. What is it?"

What in God's name did he want me to say? That I agreed with him completely at how our kiss had been successful? That it had meant as much as a kiss I'd drop on top of a child's head before bed to him? Well I wouldn't lie for the sake of lying. I'd rather stay silent and realize that the kind, gentle, passionate person I'd fallen for didn't exist and in his place was a cold, unfeeling fool who wouldn't know romance even if it had slapped him in the face.

"L, I have a question." I spoke up making certain that my voice remained whole.

His eyes entreated me. "Yes, G?"

It had been on the tip of my tongue for months, but at this moment I knew I had to say something before I fell apart inside. "What is your name?"

He obviously hadn't expected that question as his eyes darted around the room. "Er, Grace, well, I can't—"

"No, never mind. I didn't expect honesty." My reply was barbed with anger. "I certainly thought that you could trust me by now, but apparently that isn't so."

He looked then like I had struck him. Good. "I-I simply do not know why you care to know this now or why you are being so hostile."

"Oh? Silly me, I thought I had the right." I glared at him. "Liam is completely wrong to think secrets can't be well kept here. It really hurts to know that you still think I'm a danger to you. I thought I meant more than that."

L looked completely at a loss. "Grace, where is this coming from? We've already discussed why I can't tell you that, you accepted it readily before!"

The tears, they were going to fall if I didn't get him out of the room. "Well I don't know, L. I thought I'd like to know the name of the first man I've kissed in my life but you can't even give me that."

Our eyes locked for one frozen moment. His defenseless, mine anguished. After a prolonged period of silence, L cleared his throat.

"Well, I do apologize that I can't help you begin your bloody tally, but I refuse to divulge that information to you."

"You're impossible." I shot back shakily. "And as long as you feel the need to keep these precious secrets, you can clear off. I know who I can count on."

"Oh can you? Well, I won't stand in your way." He gave me a withering look as he grabbed a handful of biscuits from the jar. "You know where to find me when you come to your senses."

I crossed my arms. "I think you should be prepared for a very long wait."

He stopped before the door. "Oh is that so? Well, I must say it's nice to know how much I matter to you if you can do without me for such lengths of time."

"I did without you for years, I'm sure I will manage!"

L opened his mouth to speak in protest, then promptly shut it and wordlessly stalked out of the room.

My legs weren't able to support me and I fell back into the chair, feeling sick at the words I had spoken, at the words he had spoken, the looks of disdain and fury we had thrown at each other. It wasn't like old times, it was unspeakably dreadful.

"It smells awful in here," Jude entered the kitchen then, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "Too sweet! You got any corn?"

I blankly stared at him as I was overcome by the first sob. He looked on in horror as tears coursed down my cheeks and I buried my head in my hands.

"Oh, uh, that bad, eh?" Jude muttered knowingly as he backed out of the room. "I'll uh, leave you to it."

"Thank you." I whispered between shuddering sobs as he left me in peace.

As I wept I realized that Jude Caul wasn't completely without sensitivity, a thought which gladdened my heart. However, it was unnerving that he knew why I was crying after peering into my eyes for the first time unguarded.

My secrets were spilling out left and right, whether I liked it or not. I only hoped that Jude had enough discretion to keep them.

Written listening to Momentum by the Hush Sound

New song – Blasphemy – Robbie Williams

I know, it sucks, but that's what happens when there's miscommunication. :( I hate to leave the two of them stalking off to sulk in different corners of Wammy's, but they've got to work things out, right? :)