Chapter 21
Mal busied himself in the cargo bay, cleaning and sorting things that really didn't need to be cleaned or sorted. He just needed someway to keep his mind off of his wife's latest crazy scheme.
Serenity had touched down on Bernadette two days ago and the entire crew had been busy planning the break in of the lottery offices. River had managed to not only find out on which floors of the building the computers were kept, but she'd also managed to find floor plans and the schedule of guard shifts. With the information she'd gathered it seemed likely that they would be able to get in and out without difficulty.
At least that's the plan. Mal thought wryly. More often than not it seemed like the simple plans were the ones that usually went the worst.
"Are we all set to go?" Simon asked as he walked into the cargo bay.
Mal smiled a little when he turned around and saw how Simon was dressed. In the last few years Simon had become much more relaxed, including the way he dressed, he no longer wore the uptight clothes of a Core world doctor. For the job however he was going to have to play the part of an upscale citizen. He had entered the cargo bay dressed in the most proper and expensive of the clothes he had brought with him.
"Ya know Jayne's gonna die a laughter when he see's ya dressed in them duds." Mal commented.
"Yeah I know. It's weird I used to wear clothes like this everyday, now it feels like a costume or something." Simon commented.
From above them on the catwalk Mal and Simon heard a snort of laughter. They looked up to find Jayne red faced and struggling to breath through his laughter.
"Damn Doc I fergot whatta pansy ass ya used ta be!" He managed to gasp out.
"Thanks Jayne." Simon muttered and tugged uncomfortably at his shirt collar.
Mal was distracted from Jayne and Simon when Haven began to cry. Both girls had been sleeping peacefully in their bassinet while Mal worked. Annabelle quickly followed her younger sister's example and began to scream as well.
"Hey girlies ya'll can't be fussin like this while yer ma's gone. Daddy can't handle ya both alone if'n ya scream the whole time." Mal warned as he leaned over to pick up Haven. Simon helped him by picking up Annabelle.
"Now little bit what's all this about?" Mal asked.
"Maybe they're hungry." Simon suggested as he bounced Annabelle.
"River just fed em twenty minutes ago. I kinda thought they'd sleep till ya'll got back." Mal replied.
"Well maybe River can get them to settle down before we leave. Where is she anyway?" Simon asked talking loudly to be heard over the shrieking twins.
"Her and Kaylee are still gettin ready."
Mal sighed with relief when Haven stopped crying a few minutes later and fell back to sleep. Annabelle also quieted down and began to coo up at her Uncle Simon.
"Simon are you ready?" Kaylee called from the top of the stairs. Mal and Simon turned to their wives and both of their jaws dropped in identical expressions of appreciation and lust.
"River you look…" Mal began but couldn't quite find a word for what his wife looked like.
River and Kaylee had both dressed in outfits which would fit in with the business dress of the office building they were headed to. But they both managed to make the outfits look damn sexy. River wore a short black skirt with a tight clinging top. Kaylee wore a dress that was so low cut Mal felt himself blushing just from one quick glance.
"Kaylee." Simon squeaked. "Wow." Was all he finally managed to get out.
"Jayne? Jayne… JAYNE!" Mal shouted.
"Huh? What?" He asked after a few seconds.
"Ya mind not lookin at my wife like that? Cause if ya don't stop I'm gonna have ta shoot you." Mal warned.
Jayne shook his head and looked over at Mal with an embarrassed blush on his face.
"So ya'll think we'll be able ta flirt our way inta the office?" Kaylee asked as she and River walked over to them men.
"Unless the guy is blind or sly I don't think you'll have a problem." Jayne grunted.
"Girls you behave for your father and Uncle Jayne." River warned and kissed each baby lightly on the cheek.
"Wait whattda ya mean Uncle Jayne? I ain't babysitting." Jayne protested.
"Zoe has to be prepared to take off if things end badly. Don't worry you'll be fine." River assured him. She took Annabelle from Simon's arms and placed the now sleeping baby in Jayne's arms. It was the first time he'd held either of the twins.
"Hey I don't wanna hold her." Jayne protested.
"You'll be fine Uncle Jayne. I promise." River giggled.
"Keep the comm unit on. Anything goes wrong you call us quick like dong-ma?" Mal ordered.
"I promise ai-ren." River answered and gave her husband a goodbye kiss before following Simon and Kaylee out of Serenity.
The three walked from the ship yard where Serenity was docked to the bustling shopping district in only a few minutes.
"So are you girls ready for this?" Simon asked.
"Shouldn't be too hard. We just flirt enough to get the guard to let us on the elevator and you sneak on while he's all distracted. River you said the place'll be busy right?" Kaylee asked.
"The lottery offices are on the third and fourth floors, but the building contains over forty floors of various businesses. The lunch hour has just ended so employees will be returning to work. The lobby should be full." River assured.
They arrived at the office building a few minutes later and were about to walk in when River stopped them.
"We have a problem."
"What? Its busy just like ya said it would be." Kaylee replied sounding confused.
"The guard at the desk. Simon did you read him?" River asked.
"No I-" Simon began and then stopped when he did read the guard. "No, no, no. Absolutely not. River I'm not doing that. We'll have to think of a new plan." He protested.
"What? What?" Kaylee asked sounding frustrated. Simon didn't answer and instead continued to stare at River and shake his head in protest.
"Would one of you please tell me what the problem is? I ain't a mind reader ya know." Kaylee finally yelled.
River giggled a little and then turned to Kaylee.
"Our plan has a flaw. The guard at the desk, well, lets just say he isn't going to be interested in you or I." River explained.
"Wait a minute are ya sayin the guard at the desk is sly?" Kaylee asked with a giggle.
River nodded and both women turned to look at Simon, doing their best to stifle their laughter.
"I'm sorry Simon but you'll have to play my part and I'll have to take yours. It's the only way this will work." River said not sounding like she was the least bit sorry.
Simon buried his head in his hands for a second and then sighed deeply. "Fine, I'll do it, but we had better win the money. If I do this and the plan doesn't work I'm never going to let you forget about it." He muttered as he walked into the building followed by Kaylee and River.
The girls quickly made their way to the information kiosk near the elevator, they stood there pretending to read the various signs as Simon made his way to the information desk.
Halfway to the desk Simon realized that the name River had slipped into the computer system was for a woman and not a man. Seeing the guard look up and smile Simon realized it was too late to turn around and consider a new tactic.
"Hi can I help you?" The guard asked giving Simon an appreciative once over.
"Umm… Yes I have a, a job interview today. With Vi-tech industries." Simon stuttered.
"Vi-tech huh? You a scientist?" The guard asked.
"I'm looking for the lab assistant job actually." Simon replied hoping he sounded sincere, he was aware that lying was not one of his strong suits.
The guard nodded and turned to his computer to type something in. His brow furrowed in confusion a few moments later and he glanced up at Simon again.
"Says here the only interview they're expecting all day is for a Miss Jessica James. You don't look like a Miss." The guard explained.
"It's Jesse James. They must have put it into the computer incorrectly." Simon blurted and then realized he'd just given the guard the name of an Earth-that-was outlaw. He prayed silently that the guard wasn't familiar with Earth-that-was Old West history.
"Damn Human Resources. Swear to God I'm cleaning up their mess half a dozen times a day." The guard confided in Simon as he worked to change the information in the computer.
"That sucks. Shouldn't be your job to fix other people's mistakes." Simon replied sympathetically.
"Alright got that all straightened up. Now I just need yer ident card and then I can get you a visitor's pass." The guard said after a few more seconds.
"Umm my ident card? I have a little problem with that. I lost my wallet a few days ago and my card was in it. I applied for a new one but I won't have it for another few days." Simon explained.
"Do ya have any sort of identification?" The guard asked.
"No everything was in the wallet." Simon answered and gave the guard what he hoped was a pathetic sad look.
"I can't be letting you up stairs without some sort of id." The guard replied.
"Isn't there anyway you could help me out? I really need this job and if I get the job I'll have id the next time I come, I promise. You can check it then." Simon said and smiled at the guard.
The guard looked uncertainly at Simon before saying, "I really can't just let you up there. I mean I could lose my job over this."
Simon shifted uncomfortably and realized he needed to really flirt if this was going to work. Giving an angry glance back towards his sister and his wife he turned and leaned onto the information desk so that he was much closer to the guard now. He glanced up and gave the guard a slow easy smile, one he usually reserved for Kaylee.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you to break the rules, I wouldn't want to endanger your job. I'm just a little desperate. I just moved here and still haven't gotten a job and I don't really know anyone and now I've lost my wallet and I can't get a job without identification. It's just been a bad few weeks. But I do appreciate you being so kind about the whole thing." He whispered and gave the guard a coy look.
The guard behind the desk swallowed thickly and stared at Simon for a few seconds before finding his composure. "Ah hell I guess I can let ya up there. I mean I don't want you missing your interview."
"Thank you so much, really you're an amazing man." Simon gushed.
The guard smiled and gave him a visitor's pass to clip to his shirt.
Simon returned the smile and walked away from the desk. He only made it five feet or so before the guard called his name.
"Mr. James wait!"
Simon groaned and then turned back to the guard with a smile on his face.
"Is there a problem?" He asked.
"No. No problem. I was just thinking since your new in town maybe you'd want to get together for a drink and I could show you around a bit." The guard replied nervously.
"Wow that's really nice. I'd love to."
The guard handed Simon a folded piece of paper. "I'm Ryan. Here's my number. Wave me tonight if you want to get together." He instructed and gave Simon a flirtatious smile.
Simon nodded and tried to return the look. "I will Ryan. Thanks again." He promised, feeling guilty about using the nice man like that.
Walking quickly to the elevator Simon held his visitor's pass under the scanner and sighed with relief when the elevator dinged and opened up. He stepped in quickly and then pushed the door open button to keep the elevator from moving. Within just a few second both women slipped unnoticed into the elevator with him. Once the doors closed and they were alone Simon let out a huge breath and leaned against the wall.
"Ya did great ai-ren!" Kaylee complimented and gave Simon a kiss.
"Yeah thanks." He muttered.
"What's that?" Kaylee asked after spying the slip of paper still clutched in his hand.
"Ryan's number. I got a date tonight." He answered with a small smile.
"Very impressive you flirted well enough to get a date. So where are the two of you going?" River asked with a teasing grin.
"Shut up mei-mei."
The elevator dinged then and they moved out of the elevator before the teasing could continue.
"Everyone ready?" Simon whispered as they headed down the hall.
Kaylee and River both smiled and nodded. Luckily the floor that housed the computers didn't hold their main business offices. There was very little in the way of personnel on the fourth floor, but security was another matter. They had only walked a few feet down the hall before a guard ordered them to stop.
River turned and gave the guard a smile.
"Can I help ya'll with something?" The guard asked as he approached the three.
River took a step closer and again gave the guard a flirty smile.
"I wish to purchase a lottery ticket." She explained.
"Well that'd be one floor down if you want one. Although ya know you can buy em all over the place right? All the stores round here sell em ya don't actually gotta come to the office. Now how's bout I show ya where ya need ta be?" The guard said and gave River a dopey smile.
River slid a bit closer and put one hand on the guard's arm. "That would be very helpful." She replied sweetly.
The guard turned toward the elevator and before he could react River pulled out a small vial. She pressed the vial to the man's neck and a small needle popped from the end of the vial. Simon hurried to step forward and catch the guard as he slumped to the ground, now completely unconscious. Moving quicker than he thought he could Simon pulled the incapacitated guard into the store room they had found close to the elevators.
"Well that was easy. That stuff sure worked good. You sure he'll be ok?" Kaylee asked as they left the guard tied up and asleep.
"He should wake up in an hour or so. He'll have a headache, but other than that he'll be fine." Simon assured his kind hearted wife.
"According to the blue prints the computers should be straight down this hall." River explained as they moved further into the building. They met two other guards on the way to the computers. Simon and River were able to dispatch them in the same way they had taken care of the first one. They slipped quietly into the room containing the computers and were relieved to find that the room was empty.
Simon and Kaylee stood near the doors to keep watch while River began to type furiously at one of the computer terminals.
After ten minutes Simon began to get anxious. "River you about done? We need to get out of here." He whispered urgently.
River continued to work and didn't reply. He waited another three minutes before asking again.
"River? River we need to get out of here! Can you do this or not?" He asked.
River gave him an annoyed glance and then went straight back to her work. "I'm going as fast as I can Simon. The computer system is run on a rotating grid of six separate algorithms. I have to break through each one before I can move onto the next. It's time consuming." She explained all the while typing numbers into the computer.
A split second later four guards walked by the computer room the three were hiding in. Kaylee and Simon both crouched to the ground and hid behind computer terminals. River continued to type but did duck her head out of view.
All three let out a simultaneous breath of relief when the guards continued on their way without noticing the interlopers.
"Alright River we really really need to get out of here." Simon whispered harshly his last nerve having been stretched much too far.
"I'm nearly finished. I just need to input the numbers we selected and then erase any traces of my actions." River replied distractedly.
"Just make sure ya put all the numbers in right." Kaylee reminded her for probably the hundredth time that day.
River didn't bother to answer and simply continued to erase any signs of her tampering in the computer system.
"I'm done." She whispered a moment later to Simon's relief.
Simon and River both grew quiet as they searched with their minds for the whereabouts of the guards on the floor. Thirty seconds later they both nodded and moved through the door without a word. Kaylee knew enough to not doubt there abilities and followed them quietly.
To all three of their surprise they made it to the door without so much as a glimpse of another person. Once they were all safely in the elevator they exchanged a smile.
"Is it just me or was that way too easy? How come there weren't more security?" Kaylee asked.
"Because the officials believe that no one can break into their computer system. They don't have to pay the computer for its security features and they don't want to waste the money paying men to guard something that they believe can protect itself." River explained.
"And we haven't gotten away yet." Simon pointed out. The elevator dinged then and all three of them entered the lobby cautiously.
Business was going as usual and it seemed that no one was the wiser about what had just taken place.
Kaylee and River walked together towards the door, laughing and talking the whole way. Simon waited a minute before following them towards the exit.
"That was a fast interview." Ryan the guard said just as Simon was about to walk out the door.
Trying not to look nervous Simon turned and gave him a smile.
"Yes um it was very fast." He agreed nervously.
"You get the job?" Ryan asked.
"I don't know yet." Simon replied.
"Well hope ya get it. Then we'd be seein each other everyday." Ryan said. "So I'll see you tonight?" He asked.
"Um yes tonight. Well I don't know if I can tonight, but I'll try." Simon answered noncommittally.
Ryan sat back down at his desk. "Alright, well I'll see you around then." He replied looking slightly put out.
Simon gave him a nod and quickly slipped out the door. He found the girls waiting on the street corner for him.
"Everything shiny?" Kaylee asked.
"Seems to be. I feel bad about that guy though. I think I hurt his feelings." Simon answered.
"Well ai-ren if ya wanna go out with him tonight and let him down gently I won't be upset." Kaylee teased.
River giggled and Simon gave them both a murderous glare.
"Maybe I will. Bet he wouldn't give me this much crap." He replied.