Cat POV

It's too quiet.

I miss Jade.

Beck and Andre are busy at work.

Robbie's in North Carolina.

Cammie just left. We looked at possible names.

The candidates so far:

Morgan

Ashton

Haley

Elizabeth

Aiyiia

Kimberly

Lauren

I guess the name search is going ok. To be honest it's kind of monotonous. You have to like say the name in your head. Or even aloud.

I don't want it to be a mouthful to say.

That's why Elizabeth is probably not going to be the name

It's a pretty name, but Elizabeth Valentine is like a full course meal.

The middle name is already decided.

Jade.

Elizabeth Jade Valentine doesn't work.

At least not to me.

Same process with Kimberly. Mouthful.

Only reason I have it as a candidate is that I've never met a person names Kimberly that I didn't like.

Kinda like Ice Cream. Anytime you get ice cream you enjoy it.

That reminds me, I need to go buy more ice cream.

I talked to Dr. Morgan's nurse, and have been emailing her back and forth. She wanted me to up my sugar intake.

Apparently changing my entire diet and cutting out bad stuff was a bit extreme.

She called it "All things in moderation".

I got a prescription for more sugar and caffeine. So I've been integrating coffee and ice cream into things.

Buzz Buzz.

"Are you up? Or still sleeping off your sugar crash?" –Jade.

Hehe.

"I'm up."

I was up to 2:30 last night, then fell asleep on the couch really fast. According to my phone I was awake at 2:29 but asleep and not replying to Jade's texts at 2:31.

She had to work late at her normal job, desk duty and secretary stuff at Deka's regional headquarters.

She said she gets access to a lot of info, including their payroll.

The weird thing, I know somebody else that works for them.

Robbie.

I don't know how. I know he does his touring, and he works at the pear store. It's about to be the holiday season, and when he gets back surely they'll call him in. He worked like 20 hours each of the last 3 weeks.

Ever since he moved in here.

But every night he had dinner made for me. If he wasn't here it was all set up, and if he was he was cooking.

Man I miss him.

He's more homely than Cameron.

…

And now I'm in a bad mood.

WHY DID CAMERON SAY I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND?

We. Are. Friends.

I swear on my daughter's life he's not.

He's a cool guy, and I enjoy his company, but it's not a romantic thing. He…steals kisses from me. Yeah, I kissed him at the banquet thingy downtown last week, but that was because he told me I looked beautiful and did perfect.

He also can sneak his hand into mine and I don't even notice.

I think he's gotten too comfortable. Just because we worked together for a couple of weeks on a song doesn't make us soulmates.

Jade's still mad.

"What's up?" -Jade

I think Robbie is too.

I don't know why.

And it scares me.

I need Robbie. I have absolutely no idea what I'd do if even Cameron took his place. Just having him sleeping 20 feet away in the guest room makes me feel so much better about everything.

I didn't sleep much after he left Friday.

Really…

You have to promise you won't tell anybody.

I sat in his room for like 3 hours, remixing some covers for Splashface. Then I started missing him.

And I fell apart, crying like a baby until I fell asleep.

Never made it back to my room.

"Nm. Have you heard from Robbie?" I ask.

He hasn't answered my texts since he arrived in Atlanta.

Friday night.

I…

Jade's probably rolling her eyes at my message.

(Flashback)

"CAT!" She yelled once I got into her hotel room.

"Yeah?" I asked.

Why is she so mad?

"What on earth are you doing with Robbie?"

"What? What about him?" I ask, coming in and sitting on the spare bed.

"Why are you screwing him over?!"

"Wait…what are you talking about Jadey?" I asked, totally confused.

"You know how I talked to Robbie before you came home yesterday?" She said, incensed.

"Uh huh. You said it was like an hour. Just you guys."

"Yeah. What are you doing?"

"I don't know what you mean!" I scream, frustrated.

"I mean I'd like an explanation for what you're doing?"

"Examples!"

"Don't scream at me." She said darkly. "And ok. Let's start with your music."

"Ok…what about it?"

"Why didn't you give him what you gave me?"

It's not his thing. I don't want to force my music on him.

"I don't know…I don't want to be a bother."

"Well it's not working!"

"Not working?"

"Yeah! You're in his head, just like last time."

Oh no.

At Hollywood Arts, that's how she, Beck and Andre described Robbie's relationship with me.

I was in his head.

"No I'm not! If he was he'd be acting all mean like he did!"

"Cat…he wasn't being mean. He was trying to protect his heart. And it worked."

"I don't get how this connects with—"

"I'll explain. He mentioned your single and that he had to buy it. I told him that you gave it to me for free, not knowing you didn't do the same for him!"

Oh no.

I was trying to stay out of his way and not irritate him.

I have to offer him the full package next time I see him.

I'll load it onto a flash and pitch it to him.

Surely he'll say yes.

"I know he isn't a big fan of my style of music! I don't want to thrust it on him!"

"Cat, he sacrificed his relationship that Megan girl in order to help you. You won't thrust anything on him. Did he tell you what happened with them?"

"No…? Should I have asked? I just know they broke up." I said tentatively.

"Yeah. He said that she didn't like sharing Robbie with you, and eventually poisoned the whole kit and caboodle!"

"I broke them up? I didn't see him except like twice before I found out they broke up!"

NO! What did I do?!

"He told me the same thing, but whenever he messed up, she became really fixated on the fact that he was spending time with you! You need to show him how much you appreciate that sacrifice."

"How?"

"I don't know. But he thinks you're going to kick him out after the baby is born."

"WHAT? WHY?"

I want him to stay! The baby loves him! He's great company!

"He's scarred from the whole senior year thing. He doesn't know why he's helping you. And since you haven't been around his head is beginning to fill the blank space with doubt." She explained.

Wait, back up.

"He doesn't know why he's helping me?" I say.

"No. I thought it was because he likes you still, but he said that would be a worst case scenario because of what happened. And because he's trying to get with someone else."

Uh oh.

"Am I holding him back?"

"I don't know. Thing is, he doesn't either. He just doesn't want to trust you with his heart and sees you always in the studio and you can't blame him for wondering."

"But…I want him to stay! I've been busy for the baby and my album prep!"

"And taking your stress out on him! Which is making it easy for him to start thinking you'll kick him out!"

"I'm not kicking him out!"

"Then stop yelling at him! You treated him like shit before he cooked you that snack and dinner! For absolutely no reason!"

…

"I didn't mean to. I said sorry."

"Well it needs to stop. You don't want him checking out like he did last time."

I can't hold back my mini scream.

NO.

Not the Robbie robot. I need this Robbie. Not the rude and mean version.

"Yeah." She said simply.

"I…How do I make him trust me? I need him!"

"Cat, if I knew I'd tell you. But I don't. he's not as predictable as he was when I called his punch to Keith's face after Prome senior year."

"You didn't call that. That was a surprise." I said, mildly offended.

"Cat, not it wasn't. You just missed the signs. He looked ready to explode once you told us the story, and I predicted after he stormed off that he would do something."

"Oh. Well he did do something." I said.

He busted his nose pretty good. I'm glad he did it.

Her phone lit up and buzzed.

"I have to go. You ok? She asked.

"Yeah."

"You gotta to trust you."

I still don't know how to get him to trust me. I just know that I dug my hole deeper that Saturday.

First it was her text.

"My room. Now. Follow me."

I couldn't even leave the meet and greet without it all going bad.

(Flashback)

I tried slipping inside, closing the door behind me.

"Have you lost your mind?" She asked quietly.

I jump out of my skin.

"What do you mean?"

I feel sick to my stomach.

She's gonna yell at me again.

"Well, let's start here. A BOYFRIEND!?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" I wail, dashing away and onto the bed.

"Huh? What do you mean girl?"

"I mean he's not my BOYFRIEND!" I scream.

…

"Then why'd he say so?"

"I don't know…" I said, tears streaking down my face.

"I'd believe you completely, but we saw you kiss him. That's my only sticking point." She said kindly, and I felt something sit next to me and rub in between my shoulders.

"I…that was a thank you."

"For what?"

"He told me I looked beautiful and did perfectly."

…

Jade stopped comforting me and let out a sigh.

"I believe you."

I pop up and pull her into a hug.

"Yay! Thank you Jade!"

She smiled.

"But it might not matter anymore." Was her reply.

"Huh?"

"Cat. He lied to you back there. He lied to all of us. Right before we walked into that ballroom he said he was going to go on tour when you went to talk to the media people."

Ok…

"I didn't know that was his plan. How'd he even know I was going to do that? I didn't tell him?"

Jade shrugged. "That's not my point. He obviously wanted just to get out of there. But you need to make sure that he isn't actually going on tour."

I couldn't stop myself from more tears.

"I know…He wanted to get away from me didn't he?"

She nodded.

Then we both spoke at the same time.

"That's why it might not matter anymore."

We both laughed.

"But what up with the drink?" She asked, seemingly more curious than upset.

"I…I kinda forgot I was pregnant and just got a drink. Wasn't thinking at all." She said mournfully.

"Just a mistake?"

I nodded silently.

"I didn't mean it at all. I don't wanna hurt my baby."

She smiled.

"Cat…you'll be fine. It'll all work out. Now I have another question."

"Ok?"

"When'd you meet this Cameron guy?"

"Uhm…right before I told you about my pregnancy. I met him, and for whatever reason the news just spilled out."

"So he knows?"

I nodded.

"And it was before you told any of us. Before Robbie moved in?"

I nodded again.

She let out a monster sigh.

"I hate to ask this…but if he's that persuasive, why not choose Cameron over Robbie to help you thru this?"

"WHAT? No, never!" I yelled, outraged.

"No, never what?" Jade scrambled to her feet.

"Robbie is the only guy I want helping me with the baby. The baby loves him. He wants what's best for the baby. Cameron never asks about it, just that I look great and am doing wonderful."

She bit her bottom lip thoughtfully.

"So it's Robbie over Cameron?"

"Yes! I don't know what the heck happened back there." I told her.

"Well, he basically made himself an enemy of the state of Beck, Andre and Robbie."

"But…he's a nice guy."

"A nice guy who called them all gay and said Andre looks like a girl?"

"Yeah…that wasn't so good." I said quietly.

I'm gonna yell at him for that one.

He didn't really like me telling him to apologize. In fact, that's why he's gone right now.

We were supposed to eat together.

(Flashback)

"Shut up!"

"No! You need to say you're sorry!"

"No I don't! get off your high horse!" he snapped at me.

"I'm not on a high horse!"

"Then your high on hormones! Deflate yourself Caterina. I don't have to listen to you."

…

"Then leave."

"Huh?" he turned around, looking baffled.

"I said you can leave then. Boyfriend." I said sternly.

"Baby…" He tried cupping my cheeks but I force him away from me.

"No touchy. Go."

He looked upset at me.

And I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared.

"Fine. See you in a few days at work."

Then he marched out and slammed the door behind him.

I'm not really thinking about that right now.

I have to get Robbie's trust back.

But it might already be too far gone.

It can't be.

I feel horrible about him wanting to leave because of me. And thinking that I'm only using him during the pregnancy.

I don't know what I'm going to do afterward, but I want him around.

I need him around.

Think Cat think.

What can I do that'll cause us to be closer together?

…

I have an idea.

It's a little seductive, but if he's being truthful about-wanting a girlfriend, then surely he won't say no to sleeping with me.

Even if I say the baby is causing me extreme pain.

And maybe stuff like movies, games, lots of lounging around. Cuddling activities.

That'll cause us to be closer together.