Sorry it's been so long...life came up and I went through hell the past month. But without further ado, here is the next chapter. =] Don't hate me too much...this has to happen for a reason. But I promise I've got grand plans. Review for more. Thank you for all your support so far...it's what's made me keep believing in this story.

"Would you just shut up?" he finally asked her irritably, glaring at her.

She blinked, irritation rising also. "You wanted to know!"

"I wanted to know how your day went, not a steady play-by-play on how much your life sucks!"

"If you don't really want to know then I won't tell you!" she growled. "I'll remember this."

"Good."

He'd been like that all week...distant, moody, and ready to snap at her over the most trivial of things. It was driving her mad.

He wasn't as quick to pull her aside and kiss her, either. At night sometimes he didn't even show up to hold her. Not that it was really his obligation, it was just a sad contrast to the way he'd been in the Games. There, any chance he had to be physical with her, he took like a gasp of air to a drowning man. Now she was lucky to be able to pretend vaguely that he wanted her.

I wonder what's changed...not me, certainly. I'm just as receptive to him now as I was when I admitted I loved him. I haven't hardened to him, I haven't shut him out. No one has tried coming between us that I know of. I haven't hurt him or betrayed him. So why is he doing it?

It was like he read her mind, and he snapped, "What?"

She sighed unhappily. "I don't know, I just..."

"Oh, I think you do."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you can't deny it anymore! The whole time you've been with me you were wishing it was Lover Boy!"

Her jaw dropped in shock at even the thought before fury rose, coloring her face red with rage. "Peeta?" the question was sardonic, as if to say, "Are you really serious? Did you really just say that?"

He nodded once, just as angry. So angry that he didn't even want to yell...not a good sign.

"Why in the hell would I wish it was him? What even gave you the indication I gave a fuck about him at all?"

"Don't think I haven't noticed you, always talking about him. Protecting him."

Even deeper confusion swamped her. "How did I protect him? I told you to kill him!"

"You wanted me to be humane about it, though. You wanted all these special little loopholes for dearest Peeta. And silly me, I noticed it, but I didn't get suspicious until you told me to kill him first. You never cared about me! All you wanted was an ally that could help you get him out!"

"Cato, are you serious?"

"As death."

Ice hit her like an anvil to the chest. "If you really thought I cared about him, why would you still protect me? Why would you tell me you loved me if I loved someone else?" the words were rhetorical, not meant to be answered with anything but his potential realization that he was being ridiculous.

Still, his next words were like a fire under the ice, melting both it and her mind away into an indistinguishable nothingness. "Because I lied."

"...what?" she whispered meekly, blinking back impending tears. Surely I misheard that. Surely I'm dreaming. Surely it's not true...

"You heard me."

Twin rivers spilled uncontrollably down her cheeks. "Why would you do something like that?"

"It served a purpose at the time," he replied nonchalantly.

"Cato...no. Please don't really have said that!" her words were directed skyward, like a plea to God. "Please..."

"Why does it even matter, little liar?" he sneered hatefully.

"Cato! You know that I love you! I've only ever loved you...I wanted to save the other Tributes from additional pain, but I would have killed any of them—all of them—to get you out. I would have killed myself a dozen times." she reached for him desperately, knowing that if she failed now she could lose him forever.

But he turned, and took a few steps back before calling over his shoulder. "I'm really not sure why they even saved you. My mother got me out...guess she bought it too."

Her heart shattered.

She barely made it to her bed before the gasping, breathless sobs broke loose. "Cato...Cato..." his name formed a dozen tiny, broken whispers. It felt like she couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't—

She couldn't live without him. Not after everything that they'd been through. The Hunger Games.

How could he even ask her to try?

She didn't know how much later it was when she reemerged, eyes puffy from crying and nose stopped up completely. Upon seeing her, a nurse informed her that they were being moved to another floor...they were like the apartments that they'd stayed in before the Hunger Games

But they also meant little supervision, so she was for it. She didn't see much of Cato, or anyone else, there.

That was just as well.

Two months later...

In her untidy scrawl, words formed on a paper.

She folded the paper carefully, slipping it into an envelope. She didn't bother to seal it.

Down the hallway she crept, towards his room. Her heart was racing with anticipation...she didn't bother to knock. Inside she stepped, until she heard a rhythmic thumping. Almost like...

"Oh fuck! FuckfuckfuckFUCK! YES! CATO!" a breathless, high-pitched female voice cried out in ecstasy, interrupting her thoughts.

Bile crawled up into Evania's throat as her hunch was confirmed. Turning, she threw the note to the ground with the piles of his clothes and bolted like a startled animal.

Standing in her bathroom, she regarded her reflection. It was pale, thin, and just looked defeated. No wonder Cato had gotten rid of her and sought the arms of another.

Oh well. She wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

In the cabinet behind her, there was a bottle of pills. They were powerful sedatives that the doctor had given her in case of a panic attack...two or three too close together could kill.

She took six.

All in a row, like tiny soldiers they took their place and made the journey from her mouth down to her stomach. It only took about five minutes for them to kick in.

When they did, she was sick. It was a violent, angry sickness that contorted her body with the sheer force of its retching.

She saw it splatter on the sink, counter, mirror—everything—but couldn't bring herself to care. The world tipped, and she lost her balance...she heard rather than felt the crushing thud that introduced her to the floor.

His mind was on a single track. That's what he was trying to convince himself, anyway.

He fucked that nurse so hard he knew she wouldn't be able to walk normally for a few days. In, out, in, out, he pumped his dick so deep into her already-stretched cunt that he swore it had to be as far in as he'd ever been.

She wasn't what he would've chosen, but she was willing. She sucked him off well, and that was a relief in light of the frustration of knowing that Evania hadn't run after him when he'd left. If she really loved him, she would have.

And then she pulled him into the steaming shower, and he punished her for all his pain. She seemed to enjoy it, as she came hard twice, once from just the fucking, and the other time from the way he cursed her as he pushed her away. He could see it in her face that even as he degraded her, she enjoyed him.

He hated that.

She left without saying another word, and he walked back out into his bedroom, stretching. A soft, fluffy towel later and he was dried off from the shower.

Cato grunted in discomfort as something stuck to his foot. He reached down in irritation to wad it up and pitch it when it occurred to him that there shouldn't be any paper in his room. And unnecessary paper only meant an unknown visitor.

I really ought to see what this is...it might tell me who was here.

His nimble fingers carefully plucked the boring white sheet from the envelope, and he straightened it out with a frown.

This isn't going to work. I can't live every day knowing that the only thing I believed in was a lie, realizing that all my silly hopes were nothing in the grander scheme of things. I can't continue to wonder how much you really must have hated me, while claiming that you'd do anything for me. How much did it really disgust you when I responded to what I thought were genuine advances? It's tearing me apart. Despite the way you've tossed me aside, I still love you. I dreamed of someday taking your last name and living together. Giving you my innocence and being able to trust that you wouldn't take advantage of it in any sense. Being filled with your children, each in their turn. Raising those children up to be strong like their father. But alas, it's never to be. I know that now. Just remember that you meant more than anyone else in the world...maybe someday you'll realize just how deeply I felt for you. But I won't be there to see it. Maybe this will even make you happy...I won't pretend I really know how to do that, though. Please take care of yourself.

Love, Evania.

Ice burned in his chest with fear. What if she already did something? How long had the note been there? How—

His thoughts all ran together in a train wreck as he stumbled out the door. He hadn't meant what he said about never loving her...he was just so angry with her for Lover Boy...so jealous.

Her room...which one was it?

The question was a stupid one; he knew already without a doubt. He'd watched her for the two months they'd been apart religiously, to see if she'd try to come back to him.

She hadn't, which was a giant wound to both his heart and his ego. But here she was ready to end her life if it couldn't be with him. It was almost too much to hope for that she really cared that deeply, but at the same time he wanted it to be true with all his core. He wanted to have been wrong, for once in his life.

He reached the door, and flung it open with a wall-rattling thud.

She wasn't in her bedroom...and there was no sign anything had happened out there. He tried the bathroom.

Holy fuck... he swore in his mind repeatedly as he took in the scene before him. The vomit plastered onto the mirrors, and the trail trickling down from the corner of her mouth. The smear of blood on the tile beneath her, probably where her head had hit when she had fallen.

Without a second thought, he fell to his knees next to her, pulling her fragile form into his arms. "Ev. Please. Please wake up. Don't leave me. For God's sake, don't leave me here alone. You know that I love you. I can't believe you ever doubted it enough to believe me. I lied, okay? I lied because I thought you wanted Lover Boy more." tears dripped from his eyes. "Ev? Evania!"