Violent World

by Zaney HacknSlash

Hunted by two powerful, new foes, the team begins to break apart. Loyalty and sanity are questioned, inner demons are unleashed, and for once, making it to India is the least of their problems. All Pov. Epic.

21. Chapter 21

About this chapter… this is basically the reason the story is rated M, or whatever it is, but, it is pretty important… If you can handle some semi-hardcore sexy stuff, by all means, continue. If anyone wants it, you can PM me and I can post an edited, less citrus-y version. That is all.
Without further ado…

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Hakkai

I was awake, as if someone had suddenly turned me on. Overhead, the night sky was dark and mysterious, seeming to move of its own will, in a calm drift of wind and clouds. I could smell everything with sudden acuteness. There was rain, somewhere far in the distance, a storm that was perhaps days away. There was the familiar warmth of the earth, scents riding in on the midnight breeze: animals and blood, people and water and nature. I heard it all trembling around me. Leaves shuddering, distant footsteps, wolves howling, a rushing stream, branches snapping. The world seemed very vivid right then, and I wondered if perhaps that vividness alone had woken me up.

More importantly, I felt strange… I felt strong and fierce, with the familiar, aching lust for blood swelling through me, and the tingling of unmatched speed and power humming in my limbs.

Kill. Kill. Kill. The voice inside of me urged, but it seemed even stronger than before, and this feeling was despairingly familiar. It was almost as if…

I touched my ear, gasped suddenly. They were gone. All three. But…how? I didn't recall removing any of them.

Quickly, I sat up, looking around. Our campfire was still burning a little, and from the position of the moon, it was one or two in the morning. Gojyo was sleeping right next to me, completely oblivious of the monster lying beside him, but when I scanned the area for Jeep, I saw that he'd gone to roost in a tree branch high above my head, and he was peering down at me, nervously.

"Jeep…"

My dragon crooned back at me.

"What happened?" I groped around frantically for my limiter cuffs, searching for them as quickly as I could and trying not to disturb Gojyo. "What is going on? Where are…?"

"Looking for these?"

I looked up to see Jade crouching just on the outskirts of our camp, sitting back on her haunches, eyes gleaming, tongue lolling from her mouth. She looked like an animal, swathed in black and shrouded by shadow, her sharp, white teeth shining just a little. She held up one fist, shook it, and I heard the familiar, metallic tinkling of my limiter cuffs rattling around in her hand.

"You!" I hissed. I was on my feet in a heartbeat. "Give those back. This instant!"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll make you."

"What an unimaginative threat." She stood up too, "Tell me what you're going to do to me, Cho Hakkai. Describe to me in exact detail what will happen if I don't return your precious limiters to you."

"I'll kill you." I snarled. My voice hardly even sounded like my own, "I'll tear you to pieces with my bare hands."

The voice in me was shouting now, Kill! Kill! Kill! I wanted very badly to indulge it. I wanted to taste the bitter sweetness of blood and feel it dripping from my hands. I wanted to rake my claws through fresh, hot flesh.

"That sounds very romantic." She purred, moving toward me. "But I have something a little more interesting in mind."

I fought to keep my composure as she slid her soft, smooth hand over my face. If I lost it now and indulged my violent desires, I didn't know if I'd be able to come back. Removing my limiter was much like testing the water in a pool. Little by little, I was getting more used to it, getting wetter each time, with no guarantee that I'd want to get back out again. Right now, I felt as if I were up to my neck in it, and if I went under, I didn't know if I'd be able to resurface.

"Jade." I said earnestly, "Return those to me, at once. Don't you understand…?"

She smiled at me, wolfishly, "I understand. You'll get them back, I promise—that is, if you still want them when this is over—but hear my proposition first."

"What proposition? Of course I want them back—immediately."

Jade stepped past me. She stood over Gojyo. "Pigheaded, isn't he?"

"Don't you touch him."

"Odd. I thought for sure you'd make him leave after what you almost did this morning."

The memory of this morning came to me in a hurried, violent flash. I didn't remember how she'd convinced me to take my limiters off, but I did remember standing over Gojyo—much as she was now—honestly considering killing him; I remembered racing through the woods with Jade and how great it felt to wild and untethered by anything else. I remembered how it felt to chase down the deer and kill it with my bear hands, the sweet taste of its gore in my mouth. At some point, I must have come around and managed to get my limiters back on, but that was only after hours and hours of going without them. I was lucky not to have gone berserk this morning. I was lucky not to have done something I'd regret for the rest of my life.

Right now though, I couldn't put my limiters back on if I wanted to. I focused on the hand I knew she was holding them in. I could probably rip her hand right off at the wrist. That would be extremely satisfying.

She was speaking again. "Doesn't it frustrate you that he won't listen? Isn't it annoying to have him always pulling you back to reality? Doesn't it bother you that he is the only thing between you and complete freedom right now? I think it would bother me. I think, if it were my friend, I'd kill him for such impertinence."

Obviously she had no idea what it was like to have a friend.

I was still staring at her hand, imagining the blood and the painful screaming and the taste of brutality. I licked my lips.

Jade splayed the claws of her free hand, "The ignorant, little fool. He thinks he's helping you, but he has no idea that he's just gotten in the way. Think, my love. Think how happy we could be. We're so close. Your other friends have already left you behind; now if only he would just go away."

"Give me my limiters." I insisted darkly. My body was shuddering from the anticipation. "I can't promise I won't kill you if you don't return them to me immediately."

"Kill him." She said simply. Like a drop of water in a bucket. Like telling me to fix my hair or take out the trash. "Once I have his dead body at my feet, I'll give them to you."

I stammered, "A-are you out of your mind?! Absolutely not!"

"Not even to get your limiters back?"

"Not for anything."

"Hm." She touched a finger to her lips, "I wonder how much time you have, exactly? Without your limiters, your sanity is on a short fuse, am I right? Is his life really more important than your own mental health? Well, why should it be? It's easy enough to make another abomination."

I stared at her, helplessly. If I attacked, it would put me that much closer to the edge. If I stood here, continuously not wearing my limiter, I'd likely lose it anyway—I felt desperately close to losing it already—if I killed Gojyo, she said I'd get my limiter back, but the act of spilling his blood would probably shove me past the point of no return anyway. Besides…

"Well." She looked back at me, "What are you waiting for? Do it."

Kill! Kill! Kill!

I was disgusted to find that there was some hideous part of me that actually wanted to do it.

I took a shaky step forward. Then another.

"When it's over, we'll be free. You and me, Cho Hakkai. We'll destroy Ryptcore and rule this world together. Just think of how nice it will be to be rid of all those pointless inhibitions."

Kill! Kill! Kill!

It would be nice to not have to consider all these issues of morality anymore. I must admit…it would be nice to be free to do as I please.

I was standing beside him now. She was hissing in my ear, warm breath tickling my neck, making me feel that much more wild, and somewhat aroused, even, "At the cost of one disgusting, insignificant, little hanyou, you can become the way you were born to be."

Born…?

I was never born. I simply am.

I looked down at Gojyo. He was so oblivious, so blissfully unsuspecting. I could kill him in his sleep. He likely wouldn't even know it.

I opened my claws. It probably wouldn't even hurt…

How absurdly simple would it be?

What am I thinking?

Jeep's shrill voice pierced the silence, suddenly, snapping me back to reality.

Gojyo sat up with a jolt, "What the-?" He stared up at us, eyes wide with shock, mouth dropping open a little.

I couldn't even imagine what must have ran through his mind in those few seconds as Jade and I stood over him, me without my limiter, her with that sick smile on her face, both of us looking ready to commit murder.

"Ah, fuck." He jumped up and sprang back.

Jade was on him in half a second. She leapt after him, catching the front of his shirt and slamming him down hard into the dirt, pinning him down.

Gojyo struggled like a bird caught in the paws of a cat, "You dumb bitch!"

"Come, Cho Hakkai." She urged, "What are you waiting for? You might miss him some at first, but in time, you'll forget. There will be so many great things for you to consider instead."

I was breathing hard and my heart was pounding. My claws were aching to saw through him. It was a horrible feeling, yet it was rapidly overwhelming me. I barely managed to choke out, "No. Nothing is worth that to me."

Jade looked back over her shoulder at me, eyes wide with interest, "Is that so?"

Gojyo took the opportunity. He smashed his forehead hard against her chin, then kicked her off, scrambled to his feet again, shakujou appearing in one hand. He backed down, eyes darting between the two of us, warily, "'The fuck's goin' on, Hakkai?"

I didn't answer, gritted my teeth in hopes of gaining a bit more composure.

"Oy! You still you, man?"

"Yes." I grated out, painfully.

"Put your fuckin' limiter back on."

"I'm afraid I'm unable to this time."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jade was getting up now. She looked ruffled, but unhurt. She jingled the cuffs in her fist again. "He can have them back on one condition."

Gojyo stared at her in disbelief, "You gotta' be shitting me."

"Gojyo!" I took a jerky step toward him.

He lurched back, out of reaction, if I had to guess, swung the shakujou once.

"You have to…get out of here!" I could feel it happening. I could feel my violence taking over, like it had before, when I fought Ryptcore and Goku, or when I'd killed Chang. "I don't know if I can resist…"

Jade laughed triumphantly, "Doesn't it feel wonderful, my love? Embrace it. Kill him."

"You crazy bitch!" Gojyo screamed, "Quit this bullshit!" Just like that, he was on the attack. He rushed her and took a swipe at her hand, obviously meaning to sever it at the wrist, but Jade was quick, and she darted out of the way. He threw himself into her, knocking her back against a tree, and they scuffled for a moment or two before he managed to bring her to the ground and restrain her. "Give it up, you stupid whore!" He grabbed onto her wrist.

"I think not." She grinned. "Not until I see you dead by his hands."

"Fuck you!" He slammed her wrist down, hard, against a rock.

Jade gasped in surprise and pain. She lost her grip on the limiters, and they flew through the air, bouncing and tinkling, one after another, on the hard ground.

Gojyo let her go to dive after them.

She grabbed him around the waist and swung him around, rolling on top of him with a hiss, "You just need a little encouragement, don't you, darling?"

"Hakkai! Get your damn-"

She leaned over and bit into his neck.

Gojyo yelped.

I watched in horrid fascination as her fangs broke through his skin, and blood began to gush down over his shoulder and collar bone, and her tongue slid over it, crimson sticking to her lips and the corners of her mouth. The smell of his blood permeated the air, acrid and coppery and warm.

That was all it took.

Everything happened in the blink of an eye after that. Jade was up and off of him, smooth and fluid as the darkness itself.

Gojyo got up a little slower, clutching his neck and cursing.

I sprang forward.

I hit him hard, and we went tumbling through the bushes together, head over heels, shouting and snarling, bounced to a stop, and I was on top, feeling him writhe beneath me. I saw the blood staining his shirt and the grass. I could smell it filling my nostrils. It was too much. It was too strong. I couldn't resist—she must have known that when she…

"Hakkai, c'mon, man. What are you doing?"

I bent over him resting my mouth against his neck. His skin was warm; the blood was hot and sticky.

"H-Hakkai…"

My prey was breathing hard. I could smell his fear.

"Don't even…"

"Why don't you struggle?" I murmured, "I'm going to kill you, you know."

"No. No you're not… C'mon, dude, what're you thinking?!"

I took a tentative lick.

His breath hitched.

It was just the way it smelled: metallic and warm and bitter. But there was a sweet quality to it too. A sickly sweetness. It was enticing and powerful and addictive, and I wanted more. I lapped it up, sliding my tongue up the length of his jugular.

My prey went rigidly stiff. "H-Hey!"

I gulped up a mouthful of his blood. It went down smooth, like the best sake. More. More. I had to have more.

I sank my teeth in and bit as hard as I could, felt more delicious, warm liquid begin to flow.

"Hakkai, you asshole!" He struck me hard, right in the temple.

My vision blurred for a moment, and I lost my grip, just long enough for him to wriggle away. He got up, staggering and panting, blood dripping down the front of his shirt in copious amounts.

I rocked back onto my haunches, shook my head, clearing away the pain and sudden dizziness. With a snarl, I was up again, attacking.

My prey jumped back. He wasn't quick enough. I was so much faster and stronger and smarter than he was. He couldn't possibly escape me.

My claws clipped him. I felt the delightful sensation of sawing through flesh.

"Fuck you!" Instead of backing away again, he came right at me, fist cocked, took a swing.

It missed, but he followed up with another.

I circled around him, looking for an opening, another opportunity to rip into him.

He kicked me back.

I sprang out of range. His legs were considerably longer than my own. Something to keep in mind. A danger to watch for.

Aside from that, his teeth were dull and his fingers were blunt. He was naturally unarmed. I didn't see his weapon anywhere.

I'd have to watch for it as well.

The stench of his blood was saturating the air. It made me lightheaded with thirst and hunger.

It was a strange taste. I rolled it through my mouth again as I circled. It was vaguely familiar, like that of my own youkai blood, but I could taste the human in it too.

Both. The perfect blend of strength and sweetness.

I dove at him, slashed with my claws. Barely missed.

He leapt forward with an outraged scream.

Smoothly, I stepped to one side, let it glide past me.

"Run away." I rasped. "It's impossible for an inferior creature like you to beat me."

How thrilling it would be to chase and hunt and eventually slay this creature.

"Never!" He shouted, throwing an elbow-strike at me. It swept past the end of my nose, probably would have broken it if he'd hit. But I was too fast. "I'll never run away from you, you fucking dick!"

I ducked under his next punch, took a clean swipe.

This time, my claws went deep and tore through flesh and muscle. I felt the exciting, hot splash of blood up my wrist and forearm, grinned to myself.

My prey staggered a little again, holding onto his stomach, but he didn't run. I could smell how afraid he was, but he wouldn't run. It was just the slightest bit frustrating.

I moved in for the kill.

He came forward too. I'd give him one thing—this prey was not afraid of being hit. Then, I wondered what the fear I could so easily smell indicated.

Something about this was familiar, I thought, as we circled around each other, exchanging blow for blow. Something about the fire in his eyes and the way he refused to back down, even when he was losing. What was it? Something almost seemed to be calling me from another life.

I slam him back against the refrigerator, and it rattles. He recovers immediately, like he's spring loaded. We crash into the counter. Dishes fall. I make a grab for his hair, swing him around. He kicks me in the stomach.

"Don't fuckin' touch my hair."

"It's a fight…"

He launched forward again, but I was still trying to clear away the odd flashback I'd just had. Suddenly, I felt remarkably strange, as if I wasn't exactly myself.

Then, who am I?

I clawed at him, absently.

But he feinted back, avoided the attack, came around and jabbed me in the side with his elbow, knocking me off balance.

I snarled at him again.

His other fist came out of nowhere. It smashed hard against the side of my head, and I stumbled, falling down suddenly, grabbing wildly at a tree branch, straining to keep on my feet.

He stood over me with his fists clenched, "You done? C'mon, man, I'll knock you into next fucking year!"

For a moment, I sat on the ground, hands fisted in the grass, breathing heavily, with the pain throbbing in my skull, trying to get a grip…trying to remember…

Who am I?

I-I can't remember…

"Hakkai!"

The voice snapped me back to the present, and I jerked my head up to stare at him. He was bleeding. Did I do that? His neck. His stomach.

Did I…?

"G-Gojyo…"

His posture relaxed, but only slightly; I could see he wasn't completely off guard yet.

"I…" I stared down at my hands. They were bloody. His blood. "No. Oh, no…"

"Dude?"

Shuddering, I looked up at him again. I could barely stand it—the blood, the pain in his eyes, the fear I could smell, even now, the soft, pleading quality of his voice. I couldn't take it. It made this horrific well of pain explode deep inside my chest.

"Are you…you?"

Terrible memories rolled over me, fuzzy and distant like dreams. Licking at the blood on his neck. Tearing into him with my teeth. Ripping through him with my claws. Honestly attempting to kill him. Not just kill him, eat him.

Did that really happen?

I wasn't like Goku though. I could remember those things clearly enough. I knew they had really happened. I had really tried to…

Just like that, I was on my feet, "No… NO. I'm not. I'm not me. I'm not sure…I'm not sure who…"

I'm not sure who I am…

"Hey, man, wait."

He reached for me.

I shoved him away, "Stay away! Don't touch me! Are you stupid? Are you?! Just look!"

"Hakkai-"

"Shut up!" I slapped him across the jaw with the back of my hand.

It shut him up. He stared at me, wide-eyed, mouth falling open, looking almost child-like …

Because…

I jumped back, as if I'd burned my hand on the stove. I screamed. I couldn't help it. I screamed so loud my lungs felt like they'd burst into flames.

He didn't move.

"Just get away from me! Just forget all about it!"

He didn't answer either. He was standing stark still, even as I turned away from him and ran into the woods.

I don't know how long I ran or how far I went. I only knew that every time I considered stopping, all those horrible images would come back to me. Biting him. Clawing him. Slapping him. The way he just stared at me…

It was too much. I wanted to run away from those memories. I had to get as far away from him as I possibly could. It didn't even matter what happened to me now, I just had to make sure that, when I lost my sanity completely, my friends weren't there to be the recipients of the consequences.

I was stupid…

Yes, yes, I was so stupid. I walked away from them after killing Chang, because I knew I had become a danger to them. I had felt the line of sanity inside me buckle and shudder, like an old rubber band, and I had known it was only a matter of time now before it snapped completely. It hadn't been easy to walk out on them when I knew that they needed me, but I knew that it was necessary. I knew that, as long as I wasn't around, they would be safe from my instability and my increasing violence.

But that stupid Gojyo just had to follow me. Why? Didn't he know any better?

"…Are you stupid? Are you?!"

I shut my eyes tight and continued to run. No. No, Gojyo wasn't stupid. I knew why he had followed me. I knew what he was trying to do. Even if he couldn't help me get back to normal, I knew why he wouldn't just leave me hanging on my very last thread. There was too much history behind us for that; we'd learned dozens of times over that neither of us could ever just abandon the other.

So I had allowed him to accompany me. I had ignored all my gut feelings on the matter, and I hadn't left him behind, even when I had the opportunity, and I hadn't insisted that he leave. I was selfish, I recognized, and I wanted Gojyo to go with me. I didn't want to face my trials alone, because I was a coward, and I needed his strength and his stubbornness to help me get through this. As much as he needed me to remind him to take out the garbage every day.

But my selfishness had put him in danger, just as I'd known it would.

I didn't realize though. I hadn't thought Jade was going to use him against me like that. Up until now, she'd been leaving my comrades alone. Aside from the vow that, when Ryptcore was dead, she would kill Sanzo, she'd been acting like our ally ever since she joined our team. Well, she had pushed Deshi down the well, and she had been antagonizing me every step of the way. But never the less, she hadn't taken any action to hurt my teammates. She had stood with me when I had to face Ryptcore and the Seiten Taisei.

Why did that change, seemingly overnight? Even this morning, when I'd stood over Gojyo and considered killing him, she hadn't urged me to do so. She hadn't said anything—she had watched to see what I would do, and then she'd joined me in the hunt for the deer.

So what changed?

I was terribly afraid that I might already know the answer to that question.

"…keep your dog on a shorter leash, Cho Hakkai, or else the wolf may snap him up under the full moon."

When she said that to me, I had feared that she would kill him if he gave her reason, and then, today…this morning, when he'd found us in the woods together, perhaps he had given her reason after I'd walked away. I should have stayed to make sure he didn't go provoking her. I should have at least stayed within earshot.

That had to be it. He must have done something.

Unless…

"…Doesn't it bother you that he is the only thing between you and complete freedom right now…?"

What did she mean by that?

I thought maybe I'd rather not know.

I stopped running, and I was breathing harder than ever, shaking with fear and disbelief and cold. How could I let this happen?

I couldn't run any further, but I didn't dare lie down and sleep; I slumped back against a tree and covered my face with my hands, feeling the brutal tips of my claws scrape over my skin, and the congealing touch of Gojyo's blood on my face.

How could I do that?

And that idiot…just stared at me…like he couldn't believe what I did.

His mother must have been truly heartless if she could see that face every day and keep right on hitting him.

What now?

My limiters were miles behind me, along with my very last ally, ahead of me was miles of wilderness and uncertainty, brimming with potential enemies, and as always, my own insanity and violence was sneaking up on me, threatening to grab me and drag me down when I least expected it.

What should I do?

Going back for my limiters was completely out of the question. No matter how much I needed them, I certainly couldn't go back and face Gojyo after what I'd done. If it were a matter of losing my sanity or seeing that look on his face again, I'd gladly take the former.

Above me, I thought I heard a chirp and then a croon.

I pulled my hands away from my face, looking around the branches above me. "J-Jeep?"

I didn't see him anywhere, but I definitely heard his voice.

"Jeep!"

It was foolish, screaming like that, in the middle of nowhere, all alone, when Ryptcore could be hiding behind any rock or tree, but I was so distraught and so disgusted and so desperate for comfort in any form, I just couldn't help it. "Jeep! Over here!"

For a seoncd, there was nothing, and then I saw his white, fluttering shape come down from the dark and the tree tops, singing and chirping away.

"Jeep…" I reached out for him, "I'm…so happy to see you…"

Flapping his wings steadily, he hovered just in front of me; instead of landing on my arm or my shoulder, as he normally did, he nudged at my fist.

"What? What is it?"

He nudged me again.

This time, I turned my hand over, palm open.

He deposited my three limiter cuffs into my hand. They were cold, but they were familiar, and they were certainly comforting. I clenched them so tightly it hurt. "Oh. Jeep… Thank-you. Thank-you so much."

At last, he landed on my shoulder, nuzzling against my neck, just under my ear, and I put my cuffs back on and felt the unnatural strength and violence leave my body. I patted him on the head. "I can always count on you, can't I?"

The words made me feel unbelievably sad, and I almost started screaming again. Now that I was in human form again, I was a bit calmer; I remembered that I'd left Gojyo behind, injured and bleeding, with Jade stalking about. That was irresponsible, without a doubt, and it made me a terrible friend.

If I went back though, I'd only put him in more danger.

Will that even matter if he bleeds to death?

Then again, I didn't think he was injured badly enough to bleed to death.

At any rate, there was no clear action for me to take. It seemed like no matter what I did, he was going to get hurt, and I was going to be responsible.

"Gojyo…" I sank down against my tree, cradling my head against my hands again, "Forgive me, please."

How could he ever forgive me? I didn't think I could even forgive me. What I'd done…the horrible things I'd done… How could I even live with myself?

Did I in fact deserve to live, going on like this, ever on the brink of my own sanity?

For what I'd done, I hoped someone would come along and end my miserable life. I'd done so many terrible things already…but this was inexcusable. I'd made an honest attempt on Gojyo's life. I had wanted with every fiber of my being to destroy and devour him. I hadn't even recognized that he was Gojyo.

He'd come after me and stuck by me and put himself in danger, just to help me, and in the end, this was how I repaid him. By trying to kill him.

The guilt was too terrible and heavy to ignore. If I closed my eyes, I saw it all again. The blood I'd spilled. The wounds I'd carved. The awful look on his face.

It wasn't an angry look…it wasn't even disbelieving, I didn't think. No, it was startled and hurt. As if he wanted to ask, How could you do that to me?

I deserved to die for this. I almost wished he had just killed me instead of giving me that stupid, childish look. I wished I could somehow go back and fix this, but I didn't think I could ever make up for what I'd done.

With a sob, I buried my face against my arms. "I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry…"

Sorry wasn't enough this time though. In a million years I'd never be able to make up for what I'd done, and the taste of his blood was still in my mouth. I could still feel him writhing in panic beneath me. I could almost feel the insatiable desire to kill him. My own room mate. My closest friend.

There had to be some way to make up for it, to fix it, to somehow change it…but I knew that there wasn't. Those things had happened, and they would always stand in my mind as the same horrific event they truly represented.

I was only there in the solitude of the night for a few moments before I heard someone taking carefully measured steps through the trees, coming up behind me, from the sound of it. I waited, thinking it was either my imagination or an animal, but within a second or two, I was certain I hadn't imagined it, and I could tell from the intelligent pattern of the steps that it was likely a person. I scented the wind, but with my limiter on, I couldn't smell anything very telling. No blood. No musk. No perfume.

"Gojyo?" I called hopefully, even though, I was sure that if I saw him right now, I'd get sick and have to run away again.

There was a feminine peal of laughter, like the tinkling of a silver bell; it was ice cold and mocking. "You're really something, my love." She hissed, appearing beside me. "Even after all of that, you're calling for him? That fool is probably halfway across the world by now, if he knows what's good for him."

I got up, feeling old and tired, "How dare you follow me after everything you just did. Who do you think you are? Don't you understand? I don't want anything to do with you!"

"So you say…and yet, you won't just kill me and have it over and done with. You keep making up these excuses about how I'm your ally, or how foolish it would be to provoke me. I'm not sure you really believe any of that, darling. I think there must be something more to it."

"Oh, is that your theory? Well, what, may I ask, do you think I-"

I felt her hand slide down my torso to my crotch. "It's the same old motive any man has, of course."

I gasped at the touch, "What are you…?"

Smiling, Jade leaned against me, free hand cupping the side of my face. Her eyes were shining like two, green moons. "I'm not ignorant to the ways of men, you see. I know you want me—you want to be inside me—I felt it the first night we kissed."

My mind reeled back to that moment in a storm of confusion, and I remembered the press of her soft lips against mine and the warmth of her tongue, the sharpness of her teeth. In the heat of the moment, it had been such a blur, I'd hardly known what was happening, but looking back on it, it was vivid and powerful.

Some part of me had been filled with longing ever since that kiss, and I'd be foolish to think Jade didn't realize it.

She lingered close to my lips, whispering with the flirtatious beauty of a woman, and the hissing slyness of a temptress, "I want you inside me."

I realized I was breathing hard, feeling considerably aroused.

"I want nothing more to do with you." I told her, weakly, and as soon as the words were out, I wasn't sure if they were true or not. They should be, after what had just happened, but…

Another pair of beautiful, green eyes flashed before my mind's eye, and my heart began to ache.

If only I could get that feeling back, just once more…

Jade's hand slipped back up over the hem of my pants, under my shirt, and I felt her fingernails scraped lightly along the skin of my stomach.

My breath hitched.

"You can't keep lying to yourself, my love. It isn't healthy."

Her hand glided back down my body, this time into my pants.

I could no longer stand the anticipation. I couldn't wonder and debate with myself any longer, because, in a way, she was right. For all the wrong reasons, there was some pathetic, ill part of me that wanted this.

Agressively, I wrapped one hand around the back of her neck, pulling her against me and planting my mouth against hers. Her lips were warm and moist and full. It had been so long since I'd kissed anyone. It had been so long since I'd been touched.

Jade accepted my tongue in her mouth willingly, returning the kiss almost viciously, with her velvet tongue and her razor teeth.

I ran my hand up over her side to cup her breast, feeling the warm firmness of her body against mine, heart beating wildly with desire.

After all, I was as much of a man as anyone else, wasn't I? I had the same needs. The same desires.

She pulled away to kiss my jaw and then my neck, long tongue stroking my jugular and then writhing inside my ear canal. Her teeth nipped at the lobe. Her mouth sucked my flesh until it almost hurt.

Moaning, I threw my head back. I knew that I should put a stop to this right now, before things got out of hand and I did something I didn't really want to do, but she was undoing my pants now, slowly unzipping them, and I was getting hard with desire.

I pulled the shirt off, up over her head, kissed her passionately, mouth falling over her face and neck, down to her collarbone, and then to her bare shoulder, across her chest and her cleavage. Her long, wild hair fell around us both, like a curtain. She smelled like the open air of the mountains and the crispness of winter. I ran my fingers down her back, feeling smooth, hot skin beneath them.

Jade was breathing hard and moaning a little now as well, as I continued to kiss the tops of her breasts. Her skin was almost white under the moonlight. "You-you're good at this…" She whispered, and her hands flowed up under my shirt again, scraping at my back.

Not responding, I brought my own hand around across her hips and then up and down her thigh, over to her crotch. It was warm to the touch. Then, every part of her was. She was like a burning coal, pressed against me, leaving marks that might take a very long time to heal.

I should end this. This felt so wrong, and yet, slowly, I was losing all desire to stop.

I undid her jeans as well. My hand slipped inside.

For several minutes, Jade threw her head back in ecstasy, trembling and gasping as I kissed and touched her, and I felt a dash of pleasure at having the chance to hold and feel and satisfy a woman for the first time in over four years.

The lust in me was beyond my control, but I thought of Kanan, and it hardly mattered. Her cherry lips. Her wonderous eyes. Her soft hair. Her beautiful, graceful body, shivering beneath me.

'Gonou, I love you…'

Letting my eyes fall closed, I kissed her that much more intensely. I wanted to make this moment last, for the times I'd never see her again. I wanted to have this memory to hold onto, in the years to come, when I knew I couldn't have her ever again. Gently, lovingly, I kissed her mouth and embraced her, touched her skin and felt her touching mine, reveled in the sensation of her fingers threading through my hair.

She pressed me back against the tree, much more firmly than I expected, mouth drifting, daintily, down my neck and chest. She lifted my shirt and kissed the scar on my stomach, tongue running along it, a beautiful, tender apology for things that weren't our fault.

'I'm so sorry, Gonou.'

Her mouth drifted lower; she pulled my pants down so they hung low on my hips.

I was shaking a little as I leaned against the tree, grasping at the trunk for support.

Her grip was firm. Her mouth was hot. The pleasure was indescribable.

So many years had passed since I'd allowed myself to indulge in this manner, and why? It wasn't as if we didn't love each other, and that was all that mattered. Wasn't it?

Her lovely, small hands ran up my thighs, up the backs of my legs, over my buttocks, kneading with her fingers. Her pretty, soft mouth was sliding up and down, warm and bold, her tongue damp and soft as silk. I recognized the buried but familiar sensation of beginning to climax. Her finger touched my anus.

It startled me—she'd never done something like that before, because she was modest and traditional and innocent—but I tried to relax and slowly overcame the oddity of it, focused that much harder on the feeling of her mouth on my penis. I was so close to climaxing now, it almost hurt.

"Oh, Kanan." I stammered, "Kanan…"

Everying stopped. Her hands froze. Her mouth disappeared. She let go of me.

Eyelids fluttering, I opened my eyes to look at her.

She was standing now, green eyes glowing, skin like alabaster stone, drenched in shadows and moonlight. "Kanan?" She repeated.

I didn't have time to think about what had just happened, or to worry about it even. She hadn't finished me off, and it was excruciating. "F-forgive me…I…"

Jade's eyes searched mine with all the wild intellect and curiosity of an animal. "Who do you think I am?"

"N-no one…"

She stared at me a moment longer.

I lowered my gaze and reached to wrap up what she'd started, since I highly doubted she'd want to continue now.

Jade grabbed my wrist to stop me, her grip like an iron vice. There was a vicious smile on her lips when I looked at her again. Her words were icy, "You lost someone, didn't you? You're too good at this to be a virgin. Where is she? Did she die?"

I squirmed, "That's none of your business."

"I see." Her free hand touched my nose and drifted down my lips to my chin. "You miss her, don't you?"

"As I said, it's none of your concern." I shifted again, wrinced. "You can't actually mean to end this here…"

"Men." She snorted. "What weak creatures you really are."
"Physiology is different." I managed to choke out.

"Well." Her hand stroked my face, ventured back down my body, stopping just short of my erection.

I felt the urge to scream out of pure frustration and physical torture.

With an even more brutal smile, Jade kissed me again, this time on the forehead, "That's what I like about little boys." She said lowly, "They're so easy to exploit."

Before I knew what was happening, her jeans were halfway down and she was pressed against me, my face buried in her cleavage, and I was deep inside her. Hot breath flowed down the inside of my ear as we rocked back and forth, hands grabbing at anything we could find—hair, clothes, skin, limbs-nails digging into flesh until blood was drawn, voices crying out and rising higher and higher into the night. I thrust into her and felt mixes of guilt, shame, pleasure and satisfaction swelling through me, fading from one emotion to the next, like the changing seasons, until I hardly knew what to feel at all. The night was cold, but I felt warm and wild and passionate. My heart was splintered and screaming, but my spirit rippled with intertwining hope and triumph. I hardly knew who I was, and I wasn't sure I cared, because it was too late to turn back now.

There was a time when I could have put a stop to this, when I could have pulled away and walked off alone, to continue on with my lonely, miserable life, but I hadn't, and I had to live with the consequences of that choice now, so I couldn't think about what I'd done to Gojyo, or wonder about Sanzo and Goku, or worry about Ryptcore, or the mission. I just wanted this, what I had in front of me, right now. Even if I hated myself for it tomorrow and I couldn't convince myself, for now, I could live with it, because although it felt wrong, it also felt undeniably good.

---

Gojyo

After crazy, fucking, half-way-berserk Hakkai ran off, I stood where I was for about a minute and a half; I don't know if I was just trying to gather my composure, or maybe convince myself that what just happened was reality and not a fucked up nightmare, or if I was just too scared and too hurt to go after him.

I wasn't really afraid of him. I wasn't scared of getting hurt more. I was just scared that maybe I couldn't help him this time, and that if I went after him, I'd be there to witness him losing his mind completely. I'd rather skip that.

As for being hurt…well, my wounds stung a lot, and my neck was throbbing, my ribs were bothering me and my head was spinning, but I didn't think I was hurt too bad, really. I was bleeding a lot, but it was a dark, slow, oozing kind of bleeding, not a bright, uncontrollable, continuous spray. Both of those psychos had bit me—I could hardly fucking believe that—but they must not have bit the artery in my neck. Did they miss on purpose? I had no idea.

Anyway, if it wasn't physical pain that was stopping me from going after him, I made up my mind that I had no reason not to go, so I ran into the trees, in the same direction he'd taken.

It sucked. It really, really sucked. I didn't want to, I realized, when I'd been going for a little bit. I didn't want to follow crazy-ass, fucking, half-way-berserk, psycho Hakkai into the dark, scary woods at three o'clock in the goddamn morning. I didn't want to fight him again, but I'd probably have to, because he still didn't have his limiter. I didn't want to fight Jade either. I definitely didn't want to fight them both at the same time. I had to go though.

When I'd gone a little ways, it occurred to me that maybe I should have hunted around for his limiter before chasing after him, but I didn't know where to look exactly, and it was dark, and by the time I actually found the damn things, he'd probably be miles and miles away, and I'd never find him. I had to take my chances, work with what I got, and hope for the best.

I got nothing.

Honestly, I didn't know what the fuck I was going to do when I caught up to him. Try to talk sense into him, I guess. Beat the shit out of him, maybe, if I could. Maybe I'd be able to convince him to come back with me and look for his damn limiters. And then…

Then was an exhausting concept. It meant the future, and I couldn't even imagine what the future was going to be like. The longer this went on, the more I felt like I just couldn't help Hakkai. I felt so powerless I could scream. It sucked.

Then. If we found his limiters, and he was willing to put them back on, and he didn't run away from me or tell me to go the hell away, and we actually kept walking west, we'd just be back on the same old clock, waiting for the next time he took off his limiters, went crazy, and tried to kill me.

Dammit, Hakkai, what is wrong with you? If he knew he was so close to the edge, why did he keep taking his shit off? Did he want to go berserk?

No, it all had to do with that goddamn cunt, Jade. Because she reminded him of Kanan, or whatever; I didn't really care what the deal was, I was up over my head with being sick to fucking death of her screwing around with Hakkai, and I was really sick of him telling me we couldn't just send her on her way, because she was an "ally", which was the biggest load of horse shit I'd ever heard. We had to do something about her—we didn't have time to hang around and find out what her real intentions were.

If she started targeting me, maybe Hakkai would start listening to what I had to say. He was always super oblivious when it came to making sure he didn't fall into a mess, but if someone was seriously threatening his team mates, he wasn't the type to stand by and hope it just worked out on it's own. He was way too nosey and bossy for that. So I had to hope that, if Jade was going to try to kill me, he was going to get fed up with it really fast and finish her off.

That was all assuming he didn't go completely nuts and decide to help her kill me.

Running through the woods in the middle of the night was not fun. My sense of direction wasn't great, the moon wasn't as bright as I needed it to be, so I ran into a lot of branches and trees, tripped over logs and roots and shit. My wounds hurt. There was serious pain all through my torso when I breathed. My jaw was aching from where he slapped me, a lot more than I expected it to. I was cold, and I was tired. I wanted a beer, a bed, and a chick to go to bed with.

When I'd been running a while, I started to wonder if I was going the wrong direction. I could have gotten turned around. Or maybe Hakkai had started out going this way and then switched it up. He could be running really fast and I'd never catch up to him anyway.

Goddammit. In ten years I did not want to be wondering where the hell he went and what the hell he did the night he tried to tear my throat out.

I jogged to a stop, reaching up to rub my neck. It was still bleeding a little, but not too bad. I didn't think.

I looked around, listening carefully, but the night was quiet. No sign of Hakkai or Jade, or Jeep even. I felt really alone.

I touched my face, where he'd slapped me. I wasn't expecting him to do that—the fight was over, he knew who I was again, so I wasn't expecting him to hit me. Hakkai had never slapped me like that before, no matter how much I pissed him off. Sure, we'd had our fights over the years, and he'd straight up clocked me at least half a dozen times, just like I'd outright clocked him, but that vicious, little bitch-slap was something else. It was demeaning and undignifying. It made me feel like I was nine all over again.

Coughing, I felt the scrapes in my stomach. They didn't seem very deep.

Either way, he had still tried his best to kill me. It wasn't like the last couple times he took his limiter off. He didn't know who I was at all. Or maybe he didn't care who I was. He wanted to kill me.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard voices. Rising and falling, almost rhytmatically, through the dark. It sounded like a guy and a chick, so that was probably them. Unless some stupid teenagers had come out here to fuck.

That seemed unlikely, so I moved in that direction, gut feeling tense with anxiety. I had to really focus to make sure I was going the right way. Every now and then, the voices would stop and everything would be quiet, and I'd have to stand still until they started up again, and then try my best to follow them. It was frustrating, and I wished for the one millionth time that I were just slightly more adept, because I was getting super tired of everybody around me being some inhuman, machine who could just do whatever they needed to do without any issues.

It took forever, but I found them, eventually. The voices were just ahead of me, through a clump of trees. The closer I got, the more it sounded like…

No. Hakkai wouldn't do that. He wouldn't let that happen. He was still way too hung up on Kanan, and he was way too smart to do that with someone as insane as Jade the Asahara.

It really sounded like it. Heavy breathing. Gasping. Swearing. Moaning. Shouting.

I stopped. Do I really wanna' walk into this?

No. Not even slightly. I was not interested in walking in on Hakkai fucking the girl of his nightmares.

Do I have a choice?

Well, I could just ignore it, maybe hang around and wait until all the fucking was over. But…that didn't feel quite right. I couldn't imagine Hakkai actually wanted to fuck Jade. Then again…I didn't think she'd get very far if she tried to rape him. It had to be at least partially two-sided.

What to do? I didn't have any damn experience with cock-blocking. I'd never cock-blocked anyone in my life, and it had been a long, long time since anyone tried to cock-block me.

In the end, I figured I'd better just do what I came to do, because no matter what he was doing, or if he wanted to or not, he was still running around without his limiters on, so he was still rushing toward the point of no return.

If he's fucking that psycho, maybe he's already gone past it.

With that thought in my head, I lit a new cigarette, took a deep breath, and kept walking.

Before too long, the voices were loud enough that it seemed like they were right in front of me, so I kept my eyes open. Then I could see them. Ahead of me, a little to my left.

Damn. I did not need to see that shit.

They were really getting down. I mean, it's not like they were just fooling around a little bit, they were standing up against a tree, sexing it up like there was no tomorrow, and it looked like Hakkai had magically gotten his limiters back, so he was probably getting dominated.

But, he looked like he was involved in what was happening, so at least he wasn't getting his ass raped.

Either way, I did not like walking in to it. Not one little bit.

It wasn't even like I could sneak up on them.

Well, to hell with subtly then.

I stepped out of the trees, taking a heavy puff off my cigarette, called out, loudly, "Party's over, kids."

They both fucking stared at me.

Hot damn, it was awkward.

"Gojyo…" Hakkai gasped.

"Hope you got a fucking raincoat, pal, 'cause I do not wanna' be 'Uncle Gojyo' to this bitch's kid."

He studied me a second, and then, he shoved her off.

Jade growled and wiped her mouth—I didn't want to know what she was wiping off her mouth—she turned on me, looking crazier than ever, "You just don't learn your lesson, do you, hanyou?"

"Well, I've always been kinda' a slow learner. But I'm not a sociopath, so I've got that going for me."

She just shook her head at me.

I kept an eye on her, called out to Hakkai again, "Hey, man, let's blow this pop stand, alright? I'm fucking tired, and I think you mighta' given me rabies."

He wasn't moving; he was still just staring at me.

I was getting a little annoyed.

"Hak-kai."

"What are you doing here?" He asked, finally, like he just couldn't get his mind around anything else.

"Oh, I'm just out for a goddamn stroll. What do you think I'm doing, dammit? I'm trying to save your fucking ass, but I'm not really sure why I'm still bothering at this point."

Jade laughed suddenly, "I don't understand either. Look at you. You're a mess. And we're doing fine here without your help."

"Look, bitch. I dunno' what you're like—I doubt you've ever had anybody in your whole life you genuinely gave a shit about, so bear with me when I explain this to you—but I am not about to just walk out of here and let you get away with this shit."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Being such a slut yourself, I didn't expect you to be so narrowminded. At least we're both youkai, at any rate."

That was meant to be a jab at me, obviously, but I ignored it and said, "You got your fucking claws in him all the way up to the second knuckle, and I've about had it."

"Oh? And what are you going to do about it? Judging by the pathetic state you're in, he's not on your side anymore, so eat your jealousy and run along before we kill you."

"We?" I snorted.

"Yes." She was prowling toward me, "That's right. We. Me, and your beloved Hakkai."

I glanced at him. "We?"

He was scowling. Oh my God, it was that scary, fucking face that made me want to wet the bed. Fortunately, it wasn't aimed at me, and that was all it took for me to know she was wrong.

"There is absolutely no 'we' here." He answered harshly.

Jade turned back to him, "I thought we were having a lovely time before that freak interrupted us."

He towered over her, and for just a second, I thought he might actually try to kill her. Instead, he just snarled, "I've had enough of your games, Jade. Get away from me. Immediately."

It was his best 'I'm in charge, and I know what's best, and I'll kick your ass if you don't listen' tone, but she didn't even bat an eye.

"Do you need more convincing?" She crooned. "You're welcome to fight me, if you wish, but I don't think you'll do very well if you're in that form. And, if you take your limiters off, you could do something you regret."

Hakkai glanced at me again, his expression drenched in guilt.

I tried to ignore it.

She went on, "But, it's none of my business what you do. Either way, I'm not concerned—I don't think you're going to kill me, darling. I don't think you want to."

I figured she was probably right about all that, and I was tired of waiting for Hakkai to do something about this shit, so I summoned my shakujou and stepped between them, "Yeah, well I wanna' fucking kill you, so how about you play with me for a while?"

She laughed like that was ridiculous, "Hanyou, you're not even worth my time."

"Aw, what? Are you scared?"

Jade smiled, viciously, "Amused, actually. But I must admit, I'm flattered too. To think that you want me to be the one to end your worthless life."

"Dream on, bitch."

"Gojyo." Hakkai interrupted, "No."

"Get outta' here, Hakkai. Leave this bitch to me."

He took a second to answer, "She'll kill you."

"Damn, dude. You don't have any faith in me, do you?"

"I can't let you do this."

"What choice do you have? Don't be retarded, Hakkai—you can't keep taking your limiter off and putting it back on like a pair of fucking shoes. Gime' one good reason why I should let you go crazy."

"There's no guarantee that I'll go crazy…and in any case, I can't let you pay for my faults."

It was my turn to laugh. Damn, I felt so angry and tired and tense. I just wanted to rip Jade apart and be done with it. "Now who's stupid, huh, stupid? Look what ya' did, Hakkai. Look what you did to me."

He was quiet again. I knew I'd cut him to the quick, but hell, he should feel guilty. This was all his fucking fault, and I wasn't used to having to be the one who came along and cleaned up after everybody.

I added, for good measure, "If you lose your mind now, it'll all be for nothing. All the shit I've had to put up with—climbing out of the well and sleeping in the rain and getting bit—will all be for nothing. Now for the last time, beat it."

He didn't answer for a moment, but I knew he knew I was right. It was just so obvious what had to go down here. At last he asked, voice sort of choked, "Will you be all right?"

"Hell. You know me." I stared Jade down, and she was glaring right back at me, her eyes were full of hate and violence, "I'm good with the ladies."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. Now get lost. Get as far away from here as you fucking can."

"…I'll wait for you, all right?"

"Fine. Where?"

"There's a town just a few miles from here. Remember, we passed it earlier. I'll wait for you there."

"Whatever. Just go."

It took him a second, but he finally started to back away. I thought he'd say something else. I really expected him to apologize. But he didn't. In another second or two, I heard him running into the distance, and then his footsteps faded away and vanished. I felt a horrible sense of loneliness and isolation fall over me. I'd never had Hakkai run out on me before, whether I told him to or not. Any time I'd ever told him to go, for his own good or whatever, he always argued with me and stayed. I guess this time he couldn't do that, because he knew how right I was. We just couldn't risk him taking his limiter off again.

Jade was still standing there, glaring at me like I was the asshole.

"There." I drawled, when I knew Hakkai was gone. I took a drag off my cigarette. "Just me and you, babe."

"You look as if you're in quite a bit of pain."

"Well, you look like you're post-coitus, so I wouldn't be too excited to fight, if I were you."

"Then, if this is really what you want...consider it your last request." She spread her claws, moved into a fighting stance.

I stayed still, grip on my shakujou tighter than ever. I remembered what it was like to fight her; I wished I could say it wasn't a big deal, but then again, it was nothing compared to dealing with Ryptcore. Hopefully Goku and Sanzo hadn't had to fight him again yet. Maybe if I got Jade out of the way, Hakkai and me could go find them, and then things would be manageable at least.

That was a lot to have riding on me, and now that she mentioned it, I was in a lot of pain.

We circled around each other; I watched her carefully, never knowing when she might spring, clutching my weapon as tightly as I dared. I was suddenly nervous, and I didn't really know why. This was just another fight. She was just another crazy chick.

Jade kept her eyes leveled on me, laughing, she licked her lips, and I saw that there was still blood on them, "So, my little mutt, what do you think you can achieve by going head-to-head with me again? You don't actually believe you can keep me away from him, do you?"

"I warned you to stop fucking with him, and you can't take it back now."

She moved in closer, still laughing at me, "He clawed you pretty bad, didn't he? Your good, good friend? How does that make you feel?"

"Shut up."

"Why can't you just admit it? You've lost him. That's just the way it is. Can't you just accept that maybe he's better off this way? Maybe he's happier?"

"You don't know him." I snorted. "Not the way I do."

"Perhaps not, but I do understand him in a way that you can't, because he's one of my kind—a fellow youkai—and you're nothing but a worthless hanyou."

"Whatever." I spat out a wad of blood, "You think you get Hakkai, but there's no way you do. He's nothing like you."

"You can't protect him from himself, you know." She smiled brutally, "And, in time, he won't be able to protect you from me."

"Yeah, well that's cool, 'cause we don't need to protect each other."

"You think not? Poor, naïve, little mutt—don't you see? You're in my way. As long as you're alive, I know he'll never listen to me. Even while he's consumed by the darkest part of himself, he always hears your voice, calling him back to the light; however, I know what he sees when he looks into my eyes, what he feels when we touch. Do you honestly believe he'd choose you over her? You'd have to be a fool to think that."

I didn't know what Hakkai would do with that choice. I had to assume he'd choose Kanan over me in a heartbeat, but that wasn't even important now, because he'd never have to make that choice.

It was my turn to laugh. "For real?"

"You find that funny?"

"Yeah, I do, because you have no idea what you're talking about."

Her eyes began to shine, "Oh?"

"For one thing, bitch, I know he'd take her over me in a split second, and that's okay; the thing you're not getting is that you're not her." I took a slash at her.

Jade danced back, gracefully, laughing again, "Whatever you need to believe in order to sleep at night, hanyou."

"You'll find out. Believe me, Hakkai's not the dude you wanna' hook up with. Lot's of baggage."

"Thanks for the advice."

"Any time, babe." I whipped my chain at her. It flew through the air, she darted out of the way, and the sickle stuck in a tree.

Jade took the opportunity to attack me, came at me with her claws ready.

I jerked the sickle loose and ducked to the side, spun and tried to slash her again.

There was a steely ring as the shaft of my weapon struck her claws. She gripped the shaft and dragged me closer. I kicked her back, and she flew a few yards, did a tidy, little flip, landing on her feet, and ran at me. I charged her, clotheslined her, throwing her over my shoulder, and then slid to a halt.

She was up again, in a flash, swinging and swinging at me. I blocked every attack, but I didn't feel too smug about it; judging by the smile on her face, she was playing with me right now, and that pissed me off. I brought the blade end down over my head, sort of hoping I'd get really lucky and slice her in half.

She caught it, kneed me in the stomach.

Pain shot through me as she rattled my busted ribs and bruised the claw marks Hakkai had left me. I coughed and felt a wad of blood work its way up my throat, spat it out and took a swing at her. My knuckles hit her in the center of the face, knocking her back.

Jade caught a low-hanging branch above her. With one arm, she hauled herself up, stood up there a moment, hair flying, looking down at me with disgust and hate.

I threw my sickle at her again, trying to take her legs off, or at least cut down the branch. Watching her fall all over would be better than nothing.

At the last second, she jumped down. The sickle flew past her as she twisted around in the air, gracefully and serenely. Her full weight hit me on the shoulders, crushing me to the ground.

That hurt even worse, but I had to focus. I kicked her off and sprang up, did a one-eighty swipe with my shakujou.

It flashed past her face, and I saw a thin, red line appear on her cheek, but she was still too fast.

I didn't want to think about how strong she was, really. I knew she'd fought Ryptcore and Goku alongside Hakkai, so she had to be pretty tough, but I hated to think that I might be in over my head.

Even then, it probably wouldn't be such a big deal if I wasn't kinda' beat up already. Earlier, I'd thought that my injuries weren't so bad, but now I was realizing that they were just enough to slow me down. In this fight, getting slowed down by anything could be seriously fatal.

Jade jumped up and flew forward, kneed me right in the face, knocking my teeth loose. I groped around, caught a handful of her hair and swung her around, right into the trunk of a tree. Immediately after that, I sent the sickle after her, aiming for her neck. She dove out of the way, just in time, and again, the sickle was jammed into the bark of a tree. Jade grabbed the chain and yanked me toward her. I used the momentum to my advantage and kicked her as hard as I could in the stomach, and while she was reeling back, I pulled the sickle loose. I swung at her legs. She hopped over the blade like it was nothing, rushed me with a snarl.

Her claws graze my ear.

I crammed my fist into her gut.

Coughing and wheezing, she doubled over.

I beat her down with a single strike to the back of her neck, and she hit the ground like a load of bricks, rolled out of the way a split second before I managed to decapitate her. She caught me by the wrist, twisted my arm until I thought it would pop out of place. I lost my hold on the shakujou, and it vanished.

Screaming in frustration, I kicked her in the knee. She was on the ground again, but only for a second.

I swung at her, fist upon fist, but I kept missing. Damn, I was feeling really tired. I guess loosing all that blood was making me sluggish.

She kicked me in the ribs again.

This time when I screamed, it was out of pure agony. At this rate, my ribs were never going to fucking heal.

"You bitch!" I put my left jab directly in her eye.

Her head snapped back. Jade twirled around, kicked me in the side of the head.

I saw stars and lost my vision, spent a few seconds stumbling around, trying to find something to hold on to. While I was doing that, she uppercut my chin, launching me into the air. I landed on my back, wind knocked out of me, snapped back up just before she landed right where my chest had been.

I kicked her in the back, dove after her and slammed my elbow into the side of her head. She staggered right, and then left. When she whirled around, grabbing at my clothes or my hair or my face, or whatever, she missed. I hit her in the face again.

She landed heavily, writhing and shouting.

I thought maybe she was down for the count. I moved in for the kill.

Jade shot straight up, hitting me right in the sternum with her shoulder.

Screaming, I lurched back, holding my torso. It hurt so much, I felt like someone was cutting me in half with a hacksaw.

Maybe that last attack of mine really made her mad, because she was suddenly taking full advantage of my injuries. She belted me in the gut while I was hunched over, didn't even give me a second to register the pain before she threw me over her leg, and I landed face down in the dirt. She kicked me in the ribs, and I rolled, shouting out of pain and frustration.

When I got a second to get up again, it took me a little longer, and I had the horrible feeling that I was losing.

So what should I do? I had to think of some way to save my skin. Hakkai was way gone by now. I didn't think I could kill Jade all by myself when I was hurt. I had to focus on surviving and getting the hell out of here.

Not that I was gonna' run away. Not in a million years. I might have to switch strategies though.

Jade flew at me again, headbutting me in the mouth so hard, my lip busted open.

When I tried to punch her again, she caught my arm, kicked me in the stomach again—twice as hard as before—then threw me over her shoulder.

I managed to land on my feet and keep my balance, but the pain in my torso was like a raging inferno—it was relentless and hot and unbearable.

I got one more good strike in, when she approached to attack again. I ducked, a little clumsily this time, jumped back behind her, and kicked her in the back of the head.

Jade recovered fast and came back at me.

She kicked me three times. Once in the forehead, again in the stomach, and one final time, square in the chest. It hurt so much, I couldn't even find the strength to scream, but I was seeing what a seriously bad idea this was. I'd done better against Chang and Gang the other day. Was she really that much stronger than them?

No. My injuries were just dragging me down. Besides, I was alone this time. There was no Goku or Hakkai or Sanzo to take my place when I needed a breather.

I don't need them.

I just needed to figure something out, before I got myself killed.

Jade hit me in the head, hard, and I slammed against the ground with an oomph; my ribs hurt so bad, I barely bit back a scream, but then she was sitting on me anyway, straddling me, and that hurt too. I felt her long claws against my throat, digging in lightly.

Her face hovered close to mine, and she hissed at me, breath feathering over my face, "I told you you'd never win. It was a brave effort, Gojyo-kun, but it was a waste of your energy, and the Asahara is not famous for giving second chances." I barely listened. At the time, all I could think about was how different her eyes looked from Hakkai's. They were just as green, but there wasn't so much as a dash of compassion or humility or feeling in them at all.

"You deserve to die for your insolence."

I didn't know if she was actually going to kill me or not, but I was exhausted, and I wasn't sure I could fight with her anymore, and while I was lying there with her on top of me, something kicked in. Wildness or instinct or the desperation to survive, or maybe just outright horniness. Whatever it was, my basest thoughts came rushing to the surface, and my body reacted.

I reached up and grabbed her viciously by the head, pulling her face down to mine and kissing her aggressively.

It must have shocked the hell out of her, because the grip she'd been holding on my neck went totally lax, and her body jerked; after a second though, I felt her give in, relaxing into my lips, and then she was kissing me back.

I let her go, and she sat up; there was this terrible smile on her face as she looked down at me, "So…that's how you want to play, is it?"

I didn't dare say a word. I was thinking, thinking, thinking. I had to get out of this somehow. I had to get out of this in a way that wouldn't land me dead. I had to get back to Hakkai. I wasn't sure how to make any of that happen, but at the moment, improvising seemed like my only option.

Jade came down on me, twice as viciously as I'd kissed her. Her lips seemed cold and her mouth was brutal. I felt her fangs pulling at my lips, her tongue forcing its way into my mouth. Her spit tasted like blood and cum, which was pretty disgusting, considering that it was definitely my blood and Hakkai's cum. It grossed me out so much, I started to shove her off.

She braced herself against me, pinning my shoulders down, claws digging in until they drew blood. She bit my lip until it was bleeding too. I couldn't help moaning.

Jade fell over my neck. At first, she was gentle, mouth brushing lightly over my skin, nuzzling at my adam's apple and my jugular. She the sound of her soft kisses made me feel kind of hard, proving once and for all that I was perfectly willing to fuck any chick that came my way, as long as she had a pulse. Maybe even if she didn't. I mean, who knew? Jade was such a bitch, she might not even have a heart.

Her tongue glided up my throat. She sucked at my skin, hard, drawing a wince out of me.

I grabbed her ass and slid my hands down the backs of her thighs, and then up her back, around her neck, fingers twining through her long, black hair and scraping over her scalp.

For the second time that night, she bit me. I felt those fangs pierce my flesh, gasped out loud; I felt the blood running down my neck all over again, down to my collarbone, and she chased it with her tongue, lapping it up, sucking at the wound she'd made. I tightened my grip on her, threw her to the side suddenly and slammed her onto the ground, rolling on top of her all in the same, undisturbed motion. She stayed hooked to my neck the whole time somehow. I knew I was bleeding pretty bad, but I didn't have time to care.

Her teeth sank in another two times or something. She shelled my coat off me, pulled back the collar of my shirt to bite my collarbone and then my shoulder, leaving bruises and bloody marks I couldn't be bothered with. I slammed her down hard, gripping her slim, white wrists in my hands, cinching them so tightly she moaned and tried to break free, but by then, I was locking my mouth against hers again, kissing her harder and with more aggression than I'd ever kissed anyone in my life. By the time I was through with her, both our faces were smeared with red, and Jade looked almost dazed with sick pleasure. The blood was rolling off my shoulder and staining her clothes.

"Let's…stop this irritating little game…" She panted. "Are you going to fuck me? Or are you not man enough?"

"I'm gonna' fuck you like you've never been fucked in your life, you deranged bitch."

"Good. I'm very interested in seeing which one of you is better."

"Heads up. I've got more experience than he does." I locked her wrists above her head with one hand while the other slid under her shirt, up over her stomach to her breasts, but I was feeling anything but gentle, and what I really wanted was to hurt her. I groped her hard and pinched her until she was moaning and gasping and straining against my grip, practically begging me to stop.

When I let go of her wrists, her arms locked around my head, dragging me into another kiss, and I grabbed her crotch. Jade spread her legs, rubbing her ankle down my thigh. I practically tore the bra off of her, and it didn't take her anything to shred my shirt from top to bottom, and then I undid her pants. She wasn't wearing panties, and I wasn't even slightly surprised.

I don't know how much time passed with us lying in the middle of nowhere, half naked, kissing and biting and groping the hell out of each other. It didn't seem very long before we were both clawed and bruised and chewed. She tried to grab my dick a couple times, but there was no way I was letting that happen. Not with how insanely sadistic she was. I didn't want her razor-sharp mouth anywhere near it either. Regardless, I wound up inside of her, eventually, and I felt the satisfaction of having her writhing, half-naked, beneath me, panting and gasping and moaning, screaming sometimes. She bit my shoulder again and again, which started to get pretty excruciating after a while, and she drank my blood like it was wine. Her claws tore across my back over and over, until it was bleeding like crazy too. I returned the favor as much as I could, biting her and yanking her hair and fucking her as hard as I possibly could, but the longer this thing dragged on, the more I couldn't help but notice that Jade was just a million times sharper than I was. Every part of her was deadly. In fact, I was surprised her vagina didn't find some way to chew my dick off.

Fun as all this fucking was, I still had to find some way to get out of here. I wondered if she'd still be bent on killing me when I was done with her. Somehow I doubted being technically considered her lover was going to save me from her ravenous desire for murder.

Anyway, at least I hadn't lost my touch. It had been a long time since I'd gotten this kinky with a chick, and even longer since I'd fucked a youkai woman. By the time I had her screaming in ecstasy, I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I got this bitch off, in spite of the fact that I hated her guts and she'd fucked my best friend in every possible way and I really, really, really wanted to kill her.

Gojyo's the goddamn king.

When it was over, her hair was disheveled and her face was damp. She was breathing hard, and so was I. My ribs hurt and I felt even more exhausted, but at least I was still alive.

"You little slut." She crooned, tucked some hair behind my ear, delicately almost, but then her fingers slid down the side of my face, scraping the scars on my cheek just enough to hurt.

Out of reaction, I back-handed her. Her nose started gushing blood.

With an inhuman snarl, Jade caught a handful of my hair, threw me onto my back as easily as I'd thrown her, and, just like that, she was on top again, lips just a hair's breadth from mine. Her breath was hot. I was engulfed by the smell of her sweat, blood and sex. "Oh-ho. You didn't like that, did you?"

"What gave you that idea?"

She busted my lip without a thought. Her other hand grabbed my cock, viciously, causing me way more pain than pleasure. Jade sucked the blood from my mouth and spent a few tense moments jacking me off.

Around the time I was starting to breathe sort of raggedly and gasp pathetically, she said, "Oh, Gojyo. This is so stupid. You know…I've been holding out on you."

My body was shuddering from the pleasure, "Wh-what do you-"

Her long nails dug into me, just enough to have me jerking out of fear and pain. This was exactly why I hadn't wanted her touching me there.

"Okay, that's enough of this." I tried to pry her off and sit up.

Jade crammed me back down against the ground so quick and so easy, I was sort of stunned for about ten seconds.

She spoke quietly, but her voice was anything but tender. It was cold and emotionless as a sheet of steel. "I mean. I'm much, much stronger than you are."

She let go of my dick—I was so grateful I wasn't even going to worry about the fact that she'd totally blue-balled me—before I could even think about it, she had my wrists pinned above my head, the exact same way I'd had her earlier.

My heart started to hammer a little. Yeah. I could see it in her icy-cold stare. Blue balls was about to be the very least of my worries.

Then she cupped my scarred cheek in one hand. Her fingertips traced my scars again, very, very lightly.

"Don't." I growled.

Her claws tore through my skin like it was cheese. Pain lanced across my cheek, and I felt hot blood start running immediately, down to my neck and my chin, my jaw and my ear, up to my hairline, over to my eye. Everywhere.

I screamed so loud it made my lungs burn. Not because it hurt so much, really. I mean, I got the feeling the wound she'd carved into me was a little deeper than what Mom did ten years ago, but it wasn't painful. Familiar more than anything. But it was probably the cruelest thing anyone had ever done to me in my entire life.

I bucked against her, desperate to throw her off, fighting to wrench free, but it didn't take me long to understand what she'd meant by being much stronger than me. That was an understatement, considering I couldn't budge her at all, and that she suddenly had me pinned so well, I could barely move. I wasn't even sure how she did that.

"You bitch!" I screamed.

She didn't answer, but I was inside of her again, and this time, I definitely didn't want to be. She rode me a while, but it was just as sadistic and heartless as everything else she did, and from the look on her face, she wasn't even getting off on it. No. She was just enjoying the fact that she had me where she wanted me, because I hated her so much, and now she was all over me.

I closed my eyes and she bit my mouth again, tearing my lips open even more fiercely than before.

Jade leaned close to my ear, "You should really consider how lucky you are."

"Lucky?" I panted. "How in the fuck am I lucky?"

"Well, for one thing, I don't have anything to sodomize you with at the moment, or you can bet that would be next."

"You're sick!" I made another meaningless attempt at pushing her off.

Her claws tore into my wrists, and they started to bleed too.

She kissed me, way too gently for the circumstances, and then she started to lick the blood up from the fresh cuts on my face. Her tongue ran from my jaw to my eye, then it slithered into my ear.

I held my breath. This had to be over soon. It just had to be.

What bullshit. I felt like I was getting raped, even though I was the idiot who started this.

"You picked the wrong game to play." She whispered.

And she couldn't be more right.

Her free hand slid down my shoulder, over my bare chest, caressing my nipple momentarily.

"I have to admit, you are handsome for being a filthy, little dog. I'm not even remotely disappointed you decided to fuck me, even if I think it does hint at how deeply psychologically disturbed and sexually maladjusted you are. And I'll give you one thing, you are good. I haven't had satisfaction like this in years. My poor mate had such a weak libido."

Maybe that was just because his girl was completely insane in and out of bed. I mean, nothing could kill a dude's libido like being married to a poisonous twat.

"Glad you're enjoying it." I spat.

Her hand was at my stomach now, brushing over me, back and forth, lightly. She was still riding me, but neither of us were anywhere close to climaxing now. In her eyes I saw that she hated me almost as much as I hated her, and neither of us could even hope to get pleasure out of this situation now.

Or so I thought.

Pain came on so suddenly and inexplicable, for a second, I couldn't figure out what it was. I thought it was an itch in my side, maybe. Then my vision started going slightly red. My stomach turned cold, like I'd drank a bucket of ice water.

I choked, sputtered. My voice gasped a little, the gasp becoming a vague whimper, which transformed immediately into a ragged scream. I tasted blood at the back of my throat, and I felt it run down my side and stomach, to my navel and the hem of my pants as her claws slashed through me from hip to hip.

"There."

She raised her hand. It was dripping, the same color as my hair. She licked a little off the back of her knuckles, like a cat, and then she forced her first two fingers in my mouth, "You taste delicious."

I bit her as hard as I could.

Jade screamed and tried to wrench away, but I kept my jaw clamped down.

Her other hand tore through me again, this time from my chest to my groin, and I felt more hot blood running over me, but I didn't let go.

Finally, she grabbed my dick again, twisted.

That hurt enough that I wound up screaming again, and she ripped her fingers away from my mouth. They were all torn open and bleeding, my blood mixing with hers.

Jade got up off me.

I scrambled up too, feeling weak and dizzy. I had my shakujou in hand without even thinking about it.

She ducked under my pathetic excuse for an attack, rushed me, grabbed the front of my jacket, slammed me hard into a tree. One last time, we were pressed together like that, nose to nose, staring hatefully into one another's eyes.

"Next time." She nuzzled my jaw, softly, "I suggest you pick a game you can win."

Hot pain tore across my upper thigh as she ripped into my flesh there as well, and then she took a step back.

I slumped against the tree, grip on my weapon weak, breathing so hard I thought my lungs might collapse.

She scoffed, "You're just a stupid, little boy, Gojyo. Don't you forget that."

Angrily, I took a slash at her.

She wasn't expecting it, and the fixed blade actually cut into her, but my aim was off, probably because I was seeing double. Either way, there was a splash of blood, and then her face went from smug to shocked, to angry, all in a single face. "You little bastard! My ear!"

Jade hauled back and struck again. I felt her claws go through me like cold, steel knives. More blood started to gush, hotter than the sun. I fell to the ground, losing consciousness quickly.

The night sky shimmered above me, and I stared up at it, drowsily. My weapon was gone. I must have dropped it. I didn't know how long I'd been there. Days and days of lying under that dark blue sky, listening as the birds started sing around me while the forest came alive. I was in so much pain it barely registered. I couldn't figure out what hurt where and which wound was leaking which blood. I think my face hurt worse than anything else.

Someone stood over me. A dark-haired woman. She was naked and bloody, like some incredible goddess of war. "There." She said. Her voice was muffled. It sounded like she was miles away, "Maybe now you won't get in my way anymore. I know your precious Hakkai has the power to heal you, so I don't doubt I'll see you again, but I hope you learned something from this encounter."

What was she talking about?

Whatever. I so don't care. I closed my eyes.

She laughed and kicked me. "Sleep well, my handsome, little slut."

When I opened my eyes again, she was gone and the sky was turning bluish-gray.

I was dying, and there was only one person in the world that could save me.

Just my luck, I'd told him to get as far away as possible.

Doesn't matter… I'll find him and kick his ass for this… I'll get up in a sec… Just a sec.