Please please please don't hate me. I know this has been a ridiculously long time since I last updated but I do have a reason. I have literally been studying non-stop to complete my a-levels. And I have been sorting out things for uni. And also I have working most days of the week and my job makes me very tired so all I have been doing is sleeping. Work has been getting stressful, so I thought I would calm myself by trying to complete another chapter. Hopefully now I'll be able to update a bit more regularly. Once again I apologize.

Chapter 21: In the Public Eye

I woke up to feeling someone poking my arm. I opened up one eye to see my two best friends Harry and Ron sitting staring at me.

"What do you want?" I asked them attempting to close my eyes.

"You're being discharged today so hurry up and get changed," Harry said excitedly.

"What?" I asked tiredly trying to keep my eyes open. Why do they have to be so chipper in the morning? I do have the biggest headache and the room is to bright.

"Yeah, Madam Pomfrey says that you can leave now. So get up, there is so much you have missed." Ron said excitedly. "Oh and Pomfrey said to give you this when you wake up. It will help with your headache," Ron finished handing me a potion. I reached over and took it from him and knocked it back. As soon as I swallowed it, my head felt better and my eyes adjusted to the light.

"Okay, now lets go," Harry said excitedly, and I stayed where I was as the boys stood up.

"Aren't you coming?" Ron asked. These boys can be a bit slow sometimes.

"If you want me to come, could you please close the curtains so I can get changed. I don't fancy walking around in this hospital gown," I pointed out. It was if I could see the light switch go off in the head. They muttered their apologises, and left closing the curtains behind them.

Moments later we were leaving the hospital wing. At long last, I felt like I had been stuck in that Wing for years. I have missed the surroundings, I have missed seeing student bustling in the corridors. Yet I'm sure people are giving me weird looks. What is it? Is it the new scar? Do they believe that I am filth? Am I filth? No. No Hermione. You are not. What am I doing, talking to myself? Then out of nowhere a hand waved in front of my face. I blinked a couple of times and saw that Ron and Harry have stopped walking.

"What?" I asked them.

"We have been calling you for ages asking where you want to go, and we got no reply." Harry responded. I opened my mouth to reply when three people stopped in front of us. Lavender, Ginny. And strangely Malfoy.

"Won-Won, what are you doing? I thought we could do something today?" Lavender suggested. I locked eyes with Ginny and we both rolled them trying not to laugh at the uncomfortable look on Ron's face. Why doesn't he end it with her already?

"Well Hermione has just been released from the hospital wing, so I thought we would be doing something with her." He mumbled.

"Why?" she screeched out. It felt like my ears were bleeding.

"Oh my gosh! Get over yourself. Your voice alone wants to put me back in the hospital wing," I cried over her whine. Lavender stopped immediately and looked at me.

"How dare you," she murmured.

"Oh I dare. You are the most dependant, whinny, annoying, overbearing, insecure girl I have ever met. Don't you ever shut up? I don't like you, and you don't like me. So why don't you go already. I want to actually enjoy my first day out." I sneered at her. Her response...was to pout and sulk. She needs to grow up. I shook my head in disbelief, turned around and headed for the entrance hall. I was about to storm into the Great Hall when all of a sudden I stopped. What's wrong with me? Why can't I walk into it? Was it fear or embarrassment?

"Hermione are you alright?"

"I can't do this. I can't go in there. Everyone will stare at me." I whispered. My breaths starting to quicken. Then I felt his hand in my hand and all I could do is cling onto it as if it was a life line.

"And if they do, I'm here." Draco said back.

"And so are we," another voice said. I turned to see my best friends standing by my side. I gave them a small smile before I turned back to look at the door in front of me and took another deep breath.

"Are you ready?" Harry asked me. I took another deep breath to compose myself and then I nodded. Harry pushed the door open and we made our way inside. As soon as I stepped in I noticed everyone in the hall staring. Their eyes darting between us before finally noticing our intertwining hands. A few mouths in the hall were open in shock, but most people didn't seem to have a problem. Draco gave me a quick kiss on my forehead.

"I'll see you after," he said as he walked over to the Slytherin table. Harry, Ron, Ginny and myself headed to our table while Luna headed to the Ravenclaw table. Once we had sat down, all I could hear was Pansy screeching.

"Draco how could you?" she screamed.

"How could I? How could you? You went behind my back, you were spying on me for my father. What kind of friend does that?" I heard him reply. The hall was completely silent.

"I love you Draco." She cried.

"And I don't like you. At all. You make me sick." He said venomously.

"How could you leave me for that mudblood. She's nothing!" she screamed. The words echoing throughout the room. I could feel the eyes turning to me to see my reaction. All I could do was look at my lap making sure my hair would cover my face. I didn't want people to see me.

"Parkinson, Hermione is worth a thousand of you. You could never compare to her in a million years so don't even try. I love her and there is nothing you can do about it." I heard his voice say faintly in the background. Why couldn't this have been a normal school year. This year has been confusing, I became an orphan I fell in love with a Slytherin. I don't know what to...my parents funeral. I still need to finish organising that. I have to say goodbye to them properly. I think now is the time. But am I ready? Yes I am ready. No I'm not...Hermione stop arguing with yourself and get it together. You don't have to do this all alone. You still have people who care for you and the recent events have shown that to you. As if it was involuntary I slowly lifted up my sleeve and ran my finger over the new scar on my forearm. Marked forever by the people who hate me. How did I manage to survive everything that has happened to me? I must be stronger than I think. If I'm strong enough to survive that, I think now is the time to say goodbye to them. Or to be with them.

"Hermione?" I heard a voice say in the background. "Are you alright?" I nodded.

"I'll be back," I said without realising as I stood and made my way slowly out of the Great Hall. My brain didn't know where I was walking, but my feet seemed to know. I let them do the walking, until they stopped. I took in my surroundings and saw that I was back on the astronomy tower. I felt like my body didn't belong to me. I walked over to the railings while taking my wand out. I blasted a section out before pocketing my watch and standing on the edge. I took a deep breath. I'm sorry Miss Granger. But they are dead.A case of dejavu. How did I get back to square one. It feels as if what has happened the past couple of months do not matter anymore.

"Hermione, don't do this." A voice said behind me. I looked behind me to see Draco and Harry standing there and Ron and Ginny a couple of steps behind them.

"It doesn't have to be like this," Harry continued.

"I know you are struggling, but we just want to help you Love," Draco added.

"That's what we are here for," Ginny finished. I watched them tears in my eyes.

"I'm sick of feeling like this. I feel worthless, like I am filth. And don't," I said watching how they were about to interrupt. "You shouldn't have to keep rushing to my aid picking up the pieces whenever I fall apart. Most of this school year I haven't felt like myself. Harry, Ron and Ginny...you guys forgot about me, and all I had was Draco and he put me back together again after my parents. And then you destroyed me, and your Father could have killed me. And I feel like...I feel...I feel nothing. I can't feel anymore. There is nothing left in me. Nothing. And I don't want to become this empty shell of myself because that is not me. I want to be me again. All I have done is pretend since I came out of the hospital, pretending that I'm okay when I'm really not. I don't want to keep putting on this front. I'm tired. It's to much," I finally broke down. I thought everything was going alright, but these last couple of weeks have taken a toll.

"Hermione, we didn't realise." Harry said softly as he and Draco walked over to me. Draco reached out his hand for me and I took it as he helped me off the ledge. After I stepped down I melted into his arms.

"Love, I think you need help," he whispered. And at this moment, those words rang so true.

Hermione seems to be losing it again, but wouldn't you after you had been tortured. Help shall be on the way, and she will begin to feel better soon. Only a few more chapters for this story I believe, and I've begun thinking of ideas for a sequel so stay tuned. Once again another apology for this late late lateeee update it wont happen again.

Just to keep me motivated...how about sending a cheeky review :P