Never mind what I knew, nothing seems to matter now
Ooh, who I was without you, I can do without
No one knows where it ends, how it may come tumbling down
But I'm here with you now

-Sara Bareilles-

James didn't terribly mind cuddling. It wasn't something he had the opportunity to do often, but when he did he enjoyed it. When he woke up to red hair all over his face, it wasn't his favorite thing, until he moved it and saw who it was. He didn't smile, or beam, he looked as bright and as happy as the sun itself because Lily Ann Evans was sleeping with him. Not in every sense of the phrase but considering the way she was dragging him down on her the night before that probably wasn't too far off.

How was he going to bring up that he was a virgin? Was that something he could slip into a conversation or was that something that he would just wait to bring up when it was time? Was she a virgin? What if she wasn't?

His thoughts were interrupted as she started to shift. She didn't freak out the last time she woke up in his arms. Actually she had snuggled quite contently, but it was a different situation. The last time he had been sick so she had an excuse to be so close. This time she didn't need an excuse because she had already made her intentions clear. She wanted him. She wanted to be this close and be in his arms.

James wasn't the type to wait for the other shoe to drop. He was an optimist. He believed when there was no hope to be had that something good would happen. But with her he always grew nervous. There always seemed to be something standing between them, whether it was his mother, society or sometimes Lily herself. He didn't wait for something to come between them, but he did feel a bit of anxiety at the idea that something could.

He loved her. Couldn't that be enough? Couldn't it be that simple? Why did it always have to be about how they were different and not how they were alike? As far as he knew they had the same values and the same morals, so wasn't the rest a matter of details?

He hoped she would see it the same way, but would she take it back now that it was daylight? Now that there was nothing she could claim was the reason would she?

When her eyes opened, a flush crept across her delicate pale skin, creating a radish like blush. Her emerald eyes flickered up at him before she said, "Hi."

If she was going to run, she didn't look like it. Her lips did roll together, but her eyes didn't widen and she didn't tense when his fingers traced down her back. Instead, she leaned into his hand and curled further into his torso.

"Hi," James said in return.

"I don't want you to tell me what time it is." She sighed into his chest. "Just keep that to yourself."

"Okay…" He teased, "I won't tell you how many classes we've missed."

Lily shot up, "Classes?!"

"It's Thursday. We don't have any morning classes."

"You are a royal prat for that! I nearly had a coronary." Lily smacked his arm before she dropped back down.

"You really think I would have let you sleep through a class? You'd have my head on a stick."

"No I rather like it where it is."

James smirked, before he tipped her head up so he could swoop down and kiss her. It was a soft kiss at first. He hadn't meant much by it but she moved up to deepen the kiss and when she did he involuntarily pressed her body down on his. It may have been caused by his small desire to not only have her on top of him but have her feel how much he wanted her.

Her fingers locked around his hair, and things heated up fairly quickly. It didn't take long for her to start grinding against him, rolling her hips against his but as soon as that started happening he knew he had to slow her down. Fortunately the minute his breathing changed, she pulled back with a shy look on her face.

"We…probably should go slower…"

"Probably." James laughed breathlessly.

"Okay I'm going to get off you…I'm doing it…It's happening…"

"Ah huh." His hands gripped her hips, his thumb tracing the skin there.

Lily's face lowered to his shoulder. "You're not making this easy."

"I don't think I'm supposed to."

Giggling, she shifted up, this time to just look at him. James wanted to kiss her but he didn't. His hands left her hips and cradled her face. He always wanted to kiss her, but the way she was looking at him now…He could wait.

Quietly, she said, "I fancy you a lot."

He grinned, "You do?"

"Kind of." Lily said, grinning when she ran her finger along the line of hairs on his neck. "You know, you always miss this."

"What do you mean?"

"These hairs. Every time you shave you miss this."

James touched where her hand was. "It's the angle."

"Stay here." Lily rose off the bed, and he frowned in confusion. When she returned she had the shaving cream and the razor. She laid back down on him and said, "Crane your neck, Potter."

James did, but he said, "You know how easy it is for you to cut me doing this?"

"Then you might want to stop moving." She pointed out squirting out some shaving cream into her palm before she applied it to his skin. Carefully she rolled the razor down and cut off all of the hairs. "There you go. Perfect now."

She wiped off the remaining cream and placed the bottle and the razor on the side table, before she placed her lips to his throat. He groaned and leaned into her lips. "Lily."

Lily shivered at the sound of him saying her name in such a low voice. It made her stomach tighten again and she couldn't stop herself from kissing the same spot harder. She wanted him to make that noise again. She wanted to see what she could do to him.

"I thought we were going slow." He said and she smirked when she heard how strained his voice was.

"We are." She said coyly, "I'm just kissing you."

James's body tensed when her lips continued down the base of his neck until she hit the hollow. Then he flipped her over and pinned her body beneath his, grinding down against her core. His hand cupped her chin and forced it away from his neck and onto his lips. He sunk down on her, trapping her against the sheets. Her heart was pounding in her chest at the sudden action. She couldn't get enough of it.

If she had to choose between feeling him this close with his tongue tangled with hers and breathing, breathing seemed less vital at this point. He was only a few inches taller so their bodies were evenly matched but he still seemed to have an advantage. She'd snogged a handful of guys and she had been snogged senseless before, but this was the opposite. Kissing James brought every sense to life, making everything more intense and desperate to never stop feeling that way.

When he pulled away, she frowned and involuntarily whimpered. James shook his head. "If I don't stop…"

Lily sighed, "I know, I just…I know."

"Believe me." His eyes went down her body, and Lily had never felt more appreciated in a gaze. "I would. But you might want to go on that date with me first."

She nodded, trying to catch her breath.

He didn't shift but expression grew somber, and Lily grew worried. She cupped his face, stroking his jaw with her thumb. "What is it?"

"I want this to work, Lily."

Lily frowned. "Okay?"

"I don't want to just fuck you and leave."

She blushed and titled her head to the side. "I'm not going to do that to you either."

"I'm being serious."

"So am I." Lily said daring to look up at him. "I could use you for this, but …I want the rest of it."

James leaned into her hand, smiling. "Alright."

"We should get food, and probably get cleaned up."

"Shower?" He smirked wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh yeah." Lily rolled her eyes, "That's really taking things slow."

James got up first. "I'll meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes?"

"Twenty." Lily said once she saw what her hair looked like.

"That works."

She nodded and got up out of his. Once she reached the door, she doubled back and impulsively twisted him around and kissed him. The euphoria was surging through her. Lily just wanted to kiss him; it was the only desire pumping through her veins, stronger than her craving for food, sleep or anything else. After spending the past few months fighting it with every fiber of her being she couldn't stop herself now. She needed him to know, with every step with every breath that she wanted him. James didn't seem to mind.

In fact, he laughed into her embrace, before his arms slung around the back of her waist and tugged her closer to him. When she pulled away, she said, "I just wanted another one…"

"I will allow that." James grinned. "I'll see you soon, but the offer still stands…"

She nodded before laughing and smacking his arm. "Arse."

"What?! It will be perfectly appropriate."

"I'm sure!" She snorted, stumbling out of the room not knowing he was watching her walking away.

Showering quickly, Lily brushed her teeth, fixed her mess of hair and pulled on her uniform. It was ridiculous but every time she looked in the mirror she'd giggle to herself thinking of something James had said or did. He was just…everything she wanted. Any doubts she had were suppressed and promptly ignored. They were together. Maybe nothing official until they worked out the other details, but she kind of liked it that way. Less pressure.

Before she left she added a touch of makeup before she snatched her backpack, slung it over her shoulder and headed down the stairs. Down there she found James talking to Mary and her body tensed up.

Did she say what happened? Or did she wait? Was it a big deal or should she not mention it at all?

Lily didn't know what to do. She wanted to every person she came into contact with. She would be perfectly willing to scream it from every rooftop, but perhaps that wasn't the right route. James seemed to be unsure too when she walked up he didn't kiss her but just stayed still. It was her move.

"Hey, Mary." Lily said adjusting her strap, shifting back and forth on the balls of her feet. "What's up?"

"You missed breakfast. I wanted to see if you were alright. You never usually miss."

Lily nodded and said vaguely, "I was up late."

"Ah. Well are you going to lunch?"

"Yeah." Lily nodded, "Lead the way. Potter's going to walk with us."

Mary looked surprised, but shrugged, "Okay. But you missed it. At breakfast Sirius and Remus got into a food fight and covered most of the Ravenclaw table."

Lily snorted, "Color me shocked."

"Poor Peter though, when they realized they were too evenly matched they started pelting him with eggs."

She laughed, but the instant Mary's back was turned she slipped her hand into James's. He shook her off, and Lily's eyes snapped to him in confusion before he simply grabbed all of her and hugged her to him. Lily had to walk sideways and couldn't stop the ripples of laughter at the ridiculous gesture.

Mary turned around and caught James, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm hugging her while we walk."

"It looks like you are smothering her." Mary shook her head, with a chuckle. "Are you a snake?"

James declared, "Highest offense, McDonald."

"Most people don't hug when they walk."

"I'd like Evans to know she has my deepest affection at all times."

"I'm sure she appreciates that."

Lily giggled. "I do not, but it seems I'm not getting much of a choice."

James rubbed his face on hers until she was howling with laughter. Mary didn't intervene. She just kept occasionally looking over at the pair of them and shaking her head until they arrived at the Great Hall. James released Lily, who was now half-delirious from laughing for so long on an empty stomach.

When they reached the table, she realized she might have to leave him, which shouldn't have bothered her. The thing was now that they had a thing and she didn't want to stop feeling this happy. Luckily there were three empty seats right near Remus, Sirius and Peter. So Mary, Lily and James filled them with James sitting in between Lily and Peter while Lily was sandwiched in between them.

"Okay, so I talked to Flitwick and he's going to let me redo the assignment. Would you mind looking it over?"

Lily nodded, pouring herself some water before she piled food on her plate. "Sure."

She left her hand out. Not as a request but more of an option incase he wanted to take it. Halfway through her chicken, his hand found hers under the table. She blushed and interlocked their fingers. His hand was rough but warm. Her face was glowing, as she tucked her lips together and tried to pay attention to what Mary was saying and failing miserably.

"..Lily?!" Mary waved her hand in front of Lily's face. "What's going on with you?"

Lily blinked. "What…? Oh, I'm sorry! I just got lost in my thoughts."

"Ah huh." She eyed Lily suspiciously, but didn't say anything about the sudden red tint in Lily's cheeks or the smirk that crept onto James's face. Instead she pulled out her homework and began to work on it.

For a moment Lily looked at her to see if she was angry with her but after a moment she didn't see the telltale crease of her eyebrows and figured it was alright.

Slowly she ate silently. It was rather difficult to eat while she was holding his hand, but every time she thought about pulling away she couldn't do it. She could bring bread with her to class but she didn't know how long she was going to get away with holding his hand and at that moment that felt more important.

On her other side, James was talking to Peter about Defense. He wasn't really paying attention. He loved his friend. Peter was great, but he wanted to talk to Lily. Or maybe not even talk to her but just kiss or touch her or maybe even just look at her. She was sitting right next to him, but since he couldn't directly interact with her it wasn't close enough. So he settled for holding her hand.

The instant lunch ended they reluctantly let go of each other hands and went off with their friends. Once it was just them Dirk walked up and put his arms around both of them.

"You should congratulate me." He informed them. "Because your dear friend Dirk Cresswell has gotten accepted for an internship in Spain next summer."

"Well, since you already informed me I should congratulate you…" Lily smirked nudging him. "When do you start?"

Dirk grinned, "As soon as school ends."

"I'm very proud of you." Mary told him, "I feel sorry for Spain, but…"

"Aaaaah!" He squeezed them both into his chest. "It's all coming together."

Lily giggled and said, "Oh is it?"

"Yes it is!" Dirk declared, "I'll see you two later, but we must celebrate and catch up. Mary are you ready for Gryffindor to get their arses kicked?"

"I'd pay good money to see that, McDonald."

"Is someone daring to bet against us?" Sirius's voice sounded behind Lily. "Oh, Cresswell. The delusions you are under could fill the castle."

Lily smiled and wrapped her arm around his waist, hugging him. "Yeah!"

"Lily, you don't even know a thing about Quidditch." Dirk laughed.

"She knows enough to know who the winner will be." Sirius said squeezing Lily.

Lily nodded eagerly. "I do!"

"Ridiculous. We'll see about that, Black." Dirk snorted, before walking into Transfiguration.

Mary headed in first to the class before Sirius slung his arm around Lily and held her back. "So, why were you and James late for breakfast?"

"We just slept in."

"We?"

Lily flushed and looked away.

"Lily I-don't-remember-your-middle-name Evans." Sirius said slowly, a smirk growing on his face. "We?!"

"I plead my innocence."

"Is that why you look like a baby radish?"

Lily laughed and shook her head. "I hate you! I hate you so much."

"No you don't." Sirius snickered. "I'm your favorite…Well after your new boyfriend of course."

"Sod off, Sirius." Lily smacked him before walking into class.

He called after her. "Walking away doesn't change the truth, Evans!"

Laughing, she sat down next to Mary and opened her textbook. Mary wasn't looking at her when she asked. "Are you sleeping with him?"

"Who?"

"Potter."

Lily's eyes widened. "What?"

"It's a question. You both keep smiling and leaning into each other. And since when does he wait to walk down with you? You're supposed to keep your distance from each other. At least that's the speech I've been hearing since the start of term." Mary eyed her. "It's not a bad thing. I like James. He's a good captain and a good guy. I just hope you know what you're doing this time."

Mary looked away when she added; "You've been doing this back and forth thing for a while, but if you're really ready to go for it. You should really think about it…He's not a one night stand guy."

"No. That's Sirius."

Mary nodded, snorting when she looked over and saw Sirius leaning over while he flirted with Hestia. "Yes. Yes it is."

For a moment she said nothing. Lily just let the silence hang and allowed the people around them to fill it. When she finally spoke her voice was certain but it was quiet.

"I love him."

Mary's eyebrows furrowed.

"I…I don't know if it's going to work or last. I don't know if he feels the same but he likes me and for now we're just taking it."

"Okay." Mary nodded, before she added with a small laugh. "You never take the easy road do you?"

"Zombie apocalypse." Lily told her simply.

"Fight for what matters."

McGonagall walked into the class and began to write on the board. Mary lifted her arm and wrapped it around Lily, tugging her into a hug. Smiling, Lily hugged her back tightly before they both got their notes out and started taking down what McGonagall was writing.

It was hours before James could get Lily alone again. They had double transfiguration and Charms right before dinner. Once they left dinner James split away from the boys while Lily was heading back to their dorm, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into an empty classroom. A sudden giggle left her. She beamed when he shut the door and curled her around him.

"Hi."

"Hi." Lily smirked, "Long time no see, Potter."

James stooped down in the few inches between them and rested his forehead against hers. "I love when you call me that."

"Why? That's your name."

His smirked deepened, and his lips lowered to her throat just below her ear. "Well, I like hearing you say my name."

Lily normally would have laughed at the sleaziness of the line, but the way he grumbled it made her lower stomach tighten. She bit down on her lip. Her hands gripped his arms, dragging him closer. She knew she should slow down and not make it worse. But she didn't listen. When his lips left her neck, she gripped his chin and yanked him down. She needed him to be kissing her and she needed to be kissing him. Dragging his lips down roughly, she took his bottom lip and gasped when he groaned.

She expected it to go the way it had the last time, a slow build that grew more and more intense with every touch. Once James lifted her up and pinned her against the door that escalated a lot quicker. Her legs ensnared around his waist and her hands went from his chin to his hair. Lily had never had sex. She was sure he had, but if this was the way they worked together she had no worries about anything. He just… and she had a hard time not tearing his clothes clear off.

His hands were tight on her upper thighs, and his tongue worked fiercely against hers. He kept pressing her back harder and harder into the door until she pulled away, panting.

"When's…our date?"

James frowned.

"I'm going to need that date …soon."

He asked, "What are you doing now?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"Okay…" James took a breath. "We should go back …and change."

Lily nodded, less than an inch away from him. "Casual? Formal casual? Sweats?"

"Casual."

"Okay." Lily tucked her lips together, her eyes filled with excitement. "Alright."

James's grip on her lessened, and he grinned. "I don't want to put you down."

"I don't think you should have to."

"Maybe, I should carry you back."

"Do it." Lily told him.

James smiled and said, "Fine," his arm scooped around her and he pulled her away from the door.

Lily looked at him and started to giggle before curling into his chest. He calmly opened the door and said, "Last chance. You sure you want to do this before the date?"

"I know how it's going to go anyway." Lily told him before she leaned in to kiss him. Her arms linked around the back of his neck and she told him softly. "So I'm just going to accept it and I think you should too."

"What if you end up hating me on this date?"

"James Potter I've gone on dozens of dates with you in the past few months. I think I know who I'm saying yes to. Unless you think it's you that will rethink this."

James looked at her and continued walking with her in his arms passing by several people with an unconcerned look on his face. He didn't say a word when people openly started, pointed at and whispered about them. Lily tucked her head into his neck, but didn't blush. Instead she kissed his neck until he kissed her back.

By the time they made it back to the dorm they were full on snogging. Everyone in the school knew they were dating now and neither of them seemed to come up for air long enough to care.