Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

~Safe and Sound, Taylor Swift

Chapter 17

TORN

The late afternoon sunshine sent a rapid sting on his eyes, making him quickly shield them with the back of his palm. It was then he realized how long he had been staying in the darkness of his chamber. His heavy curtains completely erased any evidence of daylight, and he had been sulking half naked on the corner of his chamber with a pitcher of liquor in hand. On the carpeted floor scattered the piles of silver goblets and decanters. The smell of alcohol reeked from his skin. He often soaked himself in the bathing pool for the whole night, mind swimming in anxiety. Before he left Olympus, it took him time to shave off the stubble of beard beginning to cover the sides of his cheeks and chin.

Ares walked through the foot trail in the middle of the woods which will lead him to the village where Thanea awaits. His mind looked around every now and then. He felt insecure. Unprotected. A certain type of fear overwhelmed him, fear he has never felt before. Often times he feel eyes boring through his every move, the same eyes which he feels in his nightmares. He stopped at the moment he was in front of her wooden door. Sighing, he raised his hand to knock gently, awaiting a smile which will surely put the strength back on his heels.

As his knuckles touched the surface of the door then it moved a fraction. It was open. He then pushed further to enter and the smell of baked flour met his nose. It was an aroma which triggered his hunger. His feet trod through, head turning to sides and eyes searching for a beautiful brunette which he was dying to see.

"Thanea?" his voice finally came out. The kitchen was empty but filled with signs of baking activities. A bowl of flour was left uncovered beside the sink. He searched for the cover of the bowl but found its remains shattered on the trash bin. His ears suddenly caught a sound of hearty laughter coming from the cabin just beside the house. He knew whom that laughter belonged, and his heart pounded with joy. She must be with the women of the village, weaving mats or arranging flowers. How his skin heated in delight was unexplainable. An invisible thrill ran through his spine.

The laughter went louder as Ares drew towards the cabin, exiting the backdoor of the house to meet her. The door of the cabin was opened a bit, enough to stick his head in. His palm pushed the door with a smile.

"Thane—"

His smile froze.

"Twist it, no—aw, you're terrible Thanea,"

Once more Ares heard her laughter and she wiped her forehead with muddy fingers. She looked apologetic and happy at the same time. A smudge of dirt painted her cheeks. He can only see their backs facing him. They were busied with pot molding, and the clay is beginning to be deformed. More so, his heart sank to see her smiling with a male beside her. His mind went blank.

"Zeno…?"

Ares' senses came forward, seeing them looking at him with lips agape. His eyes only focused on her, and can see her faint blush beneath her cheeks. Thanea slowly stood, eyes beginning to moist and she bit her lower lip, wanting to keep her emotions to herself but can't.

"Zeno…" she whispered once more before turning on her heels and running to him with open arms. He lost a fraction of balance when she jumped to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her muddy fingers soiled his clothes and she forgot how dirty her hands were. Ares, in turn, took in her female scent, and selfishly embraced her back. In her arms he felt home, he felt heaven. Everything was peaceful and quiet as he kissed her neck deeply with eyes closed. She felt his lips warm her neck, and allowed him to snuggle for another second. Finally she let him go, leaving him in quite unsatisfied, and it made him wonder why he was this enthusiastic to meet and touch her once more. Thanea pulled him and faced the man she was molding a pot with.

"Ethan, this is Zeno…" Thanea beamed at Ethan.

Ares and Ethan's eyes met, both green, though Ethan's was far more of a natural color than that of Ares' disguise. Ethan's brows rose and he smiled despite feeling a little discomfort towards the other man's aura. Ares eyed his dark hair, a mixture of red and black, and his lean body of a youth. He eventually estimated how young this man is, younger than Thanea's mortal age for about two years and a few months.

"He's the one I've been telling you stories about," Thanea continued as she held Ares' elbow. Ethan merely nodded with a faint smile and brought his palm forward in a form of greeting, "Ethan…"

Ares stared at the open palm reaching out to meet him, but was a little lost in confusion. Both paused, until Thanea broke the silence and let Ares' arm go.

"I'm going ahead, alright? Ethan, join us for dinner," she bid farewell and left the cabin with much excitement. The two men were left alone in the small room, and Ethan moved his palm to attract Ares' attention to shake it. Ares sighed and tapped the extended hand, after which left the cabin as well to follow Thanea. Ethan shook his head with a smile and shrugged his shoulders, watching Ares' back disappear as he entered the kitchen. The sun has left the sky, enough to give them time to enjoy supper.

Ares twisted his lips as he played with a slice of broccoli with a small cutting knife. The fish is good, but he felt his appetite leave the tip of his tongue. He merely stared at the food, poking the broccoli before moving it to his mouth. Even in chewing he felt no energy in moving his jaw. He felt sick and wanting. Wanting to have Thanea alone. Time is too slow to let Ethan leave. It seemed that he was absent from the discussion. He can hear Ethan babbling about things he had done the whole day, and his eyes moved with jealousy to see how Thanea's smile formed. He was beginning to embrace an unhealthy obsession. He knew this is wrong, but the insecurity began to linger once more.

"So, Ethan…" Ares forced himself to speak, still not looking at Ethan. Dinner seemed too hard to consume. Thanea's eyes widened to hear Ares speak and she fed on a slice of bread, wanting to hear Ares' voice continue. Ethan was chewing on a bite of apple, anticipating the next words.

"Where are you from?" Ares then looked at Ethan once more.

Ethan swallowed and cleared his throat before answering, "Athens. I'm studying there. I just had to attend my sister's wedding and take a few days of laxation."

"Athens?" Ares' eyes furrowed, "How is Athens?"

"In chaos, I should say," Ethan bit the apple once more and chewed as he spoke, "another reason for me to run away,"

"Why do you say so?" Ares asked, leaning his back against the chair. Thanea continued to eat, knowing she has heard of the story before.

"I can't exactly remember," Ethan continued, "but we were all making sport about goddess Athena overturning the city of Ares." He barked loud laughter.

Thanea paused and looked at Ares who raised one of his brows and bit the wall of his mouth. He felt sweat beginning to form on his forehead. Ethan is surely amused.

"Well…" Thanea shrugged her shoulders and rested her cutting knife beside her plate, "what's wrong if the goddess turns the city over to Ares? He is brave…and fearsome…and handsome as well," she jested and stole a glimpse of Ares' reaction. The god ran a hand through his hair, feeling the discomfort.

"Of course. He is that entire war god whom everyone feared but he is unruly, stubborn, uneducated, and not to mention dumb." Ethan continued, unaware of sending the flames toward the god whom he doesn't know resides in front of him. Thanea heard metal beginning to crush. She secretly looked below the table and saw how Ares' cutting knife was bent in his tightening fist.

Ares merely smiled as he looked at Ethan, secretly wanting to dice him to pieces. He only calmed down when he felt dainty fingers loosening his fist. He looked at Thanea's palm covering his angered hand, and her smile made him lose a bit of his anger.

"No, Ares isn't all that…" Thanea spoke, intertwining her fingers with Ares'. "He is a wonderful lover." She felt herself blush. Ares stared at her lovely eyes, convincing Ethan how gentle a war god can be.

Ethan choked on the apple and banged his hand on the surface of the table as he laughed and coughed at the same time. It all erased Thanea's blush, sending her into a haste of wonder. She freed Ares' hand underneath the table.

"Ares? A lover?" Ethan continued to laugh, amused at the statement. Thanea simply stared at Ethan.

"Well if it meant having numerous children with different women then you are correct," he shook his head, "he bore some of the worst demigods in history, kill his lover's lovers, and not to mention being in a long and dirty scandal with Aphrodite."

Ares' jaw dropped.

Thanea blinked slowly and felt her fingers tremble. She felt a spear pierce through her heart and stared at the unfinished meal before her. Ares closed his eyes and looked side wards with ridged brows.

"The goddess of beauty…she must be real tempting…" Thanea spoke in almost a whisper, "no mortal can be able to live up to her,"

Ares immediately looked at Thanea, terrified with her saddened eyes. His tongue was forked behind his throat, unable to defend himself and melt the insecurity beginning to trouble her.

"That love affair is worse than the footsteps of his father, shame on them,"

"That…is a thousand-year old story," Ares started to meddle, controlling his anger, "You weren't even born by the time they ceased to see each other,"

"And if they weren't caught by Hephaestus' net, would they have stopped?" Ethan immediately shot, still on the grounds of disgracing Ares' name. "He's unpredictable, who knows if he can handle two women at the same time in his bed," he continued and laughed lightly.

Thanea gulped. Ares was once again dumbfounded. Underneath the table he moved his boot to touch Thanea's toes, but felt how she moved her foot away. She was beginning to feel upset, and it would kill him to feel this.

"There's no wonder Hephaestus nearly raped Athena because of that—"

"What?" Ares threw him an acrid look, "what rape? Athena?"

"You didn't know that account…?" Ethan wondered, "Well, Aphrodite had to divorce with Hephaestus because of that extramarital affair…one time Athena asked for the armor she wanted the blacksmith to fix, and driven with lust for her, he chased her and—"

"Enough…" Ares shook his head with gritted teeth and brows meeting. He raised his fist, opened it, and clenched it once more in frustration. He moved to his side, looked around, sighed, ran his hand through his hair, tapped his foot on the floor, all uneasy as the sweat glimmered in his neck. Thanea watched him drenched in confusion.

Ares bit his lower lip and slightly pounded on the surface of the table, "that limping piece of shit, that…hideous…deformed…" he was breathing fast with closed eyes, talking to himself in a whisper, "I should have known…I should have known…" he took his spoon and dropped it as he slapped his face, "Why haven't I known that happening…I'll kill him…I'll surely kill him…" he gulped, "nearly raped…raped…Athena…my Athena…"

"Why are you so concerned with Athena…?" Thanea asked softly, awakening him. Ares opened his eyes and noticed how bewildered Ethan was to see what he was doing. The food on his mouth was left unground. Ares opened parted his lips, "Athena…ah…she's…"

Silence lingered between them, and Thanea smiled whilst putting the surface of her fingers atop his lips. He wanted very much to kiss her right then, he can feel the disappointment ruining her mind, the smile on her face opposes what she truly feels. "Eat your dinner, Zeno, it'll get cold," she reminded him.

"But Thanea…"

"Shhh…just…just finish it," she refused to get emotional, and stood to get a covered plate set aside to be eaten after dinner. She came back and opened uncovered the plate to serve sweetened rice cakes. Ethan's eyes grew and immediately pleaded to have a bite which she surely allowed. Ares couldn't help but watch them, perceiving the familiar loneliness he had so resented.

He stood at the door leading to Thanea's chamber and leaned his shoulder against the posts. It had been minutes since she embraced Ethan and bid him goodnight before the guest left for the night to rest into his own house. The chamber was quiet, candles lighted every corner of the walls. Ares watched her serenely as she sat in front of her mirror without facing him. With gentle moves she removed the clips which adorned her hair and kept them from messing up. He eyed how each lock bounced it was freed from the clip, keeping it to himself how he wanted to do it for her. She was silent as a mouse, it was as if she was just alone. Her pinkish tunic fitted her perfectly, and she began to untie the ribbons on her shoulder after her hair was set loose.

"Will you not talk to me…?"

She still didn't move to face him. He can hear her deep breaths.

"Thanea—"

"I've heard enough…" she cut him, a tear released from her eye, "I don't need to hear it from you,"

"You believe him easily," he swallowed and sighed, looking down as he entered her chamber. Her heart pounded with every step of him coming closer. She couldn't control the boisterous churning of her stomach as the tip of his cold fingers slowly ran across her shoulder. She lowered her lashes.

"Do you have to know ugly truths which you need not have to know…?" he soothed her gently, a tinge of sadness in his voice. She was unresponsive, head bent.

"Those are over…" he reassured her. One sentence from him she only wanted to hear, she only wanted to know in order to forgive him. Ares pursed his lips before speaking out his concern, "do you really need to be that intimate with him…? If you don't mind me asking…"

"Does it bother you…?"

He took time to breathe in before answering, "…yes."

There was a pause between them, and he can feel another wave of sorrow enveloping her.

"He saved me from drowning in tears…from waiting in vain…" she clenched her fist yet smiled. She stared at something which also caught his attention. His eyes widened and his veins became tedious. Lips apart he gazed at a parched rose which bent, scorched. Its petals shrunken and brown as it grieved in a bend. Some of the petals have already let go and fell on the surface of the table. A little water remained where the tip of its stem soaked. Its leaves withered and dried. Her smile had made him realize how long he had been gone. Before he left the flower was on its peak of beauty, folds of petals surrounding its head. Now it has died, and even on the process of decomposition she decided to let it stay on her chamber as her only reminder that he will be coming back.

"He was the only one whom I can talk to…for fifteen long days I had to spend my time with him, wishing he was you."

Ares' knees weakened. In Olympus he felt he had only been gone for two nights, not being aware how fast time could drown his senses and make him invariably slow. He stepped backwards and his muscles ached. His head pounced.

"Damn it…" he whispered to himself, sitting at the edge of her bed and covering his face with both palms. "Oh god…I'm…so sorry," it pained him to remember his promise that he would come back the night after he expressed his love for her, after he drew her virgin blood. This time Thanea was crushed to see how down hearted Ares had been. She felt bad to let him feel that way, and stood to walk and sit beside him.

Ares stared at the empty space before him, eyes welling with tears. He was too much of a man to ever realize he abandoned her. Someone could have harmed her during the time he was absent, someone could have ravaged her, someone could have robbed her. There were many possibilities. Possibilities which will put him in shame to not ever prevent those from happening.

Thanea slowly let herself sit beside Ares and empathized with his depression.

"I'm very sorry…I…" he talked without looking at her, "A lot has been happening and…"

"Shhh," she stopped him and leaned her head on his shoulder, "You're here now…and I thank you…I'm sorry to ask selfishly of your time, you've many responsibilities in heaven…"

He closed his eyes and tucked her head under his chin after kissing her in the forehead. His arms wrapped around her and they stayed still for a moment, enjoying the warmth of their bodies despite the cold atmosphere. Her milky skin was so tender against his, and he wanted to hold her this way to eternity.

"Tell me a story, Ares…" she smiled as sounded like a child wanting to gain the attention of her father, "stories of valiant gods…of adventures…"

Ares slowly pulled her as he laid his back on the bed, still supporting Thanea as she rested above him. She felt the warmth of his chest and placed her palm over his heart, sensing the calm thudding. He stared at the ceiling with tired eyes and his fingers feasted on the silken touch of her hair. He wanted time to stop at this instant, he wished the night would never end, and hoped the sun would never come by daylight. He knew the longer he had to stay, the more vulnerable Thanea will be to danger. Yet he had to take advantage of this moment, when it was only him and her and the love between them.

"There was once a king who invited the gods to his marriage feast…among the gods, only one was not called upon. She was known to stir trouble among men; she can easily break bonds…and friendship. This goddess, in her rage, rolled a golden apple at the middle of the banquet with an inscription which says 'for the fairest'…" he closed his eyes and continued on till he knew she was asleep, enough to let him disappear once more and leave her in waste. She might never understand, but it would be the only way to keep her safe.

To be continued on Chapter 18: Confession

(hint not available) LOOOOL *hyper*

A/N: DEADLINE FAILED! *dramatic music* Lol. Please review though :P Thanks a lot!

Athenares