Chapter 21

Luke moved restlessly around the guest room, attempting to ward off another bout of lethargy. As much as he hated to admit, his conversation with Nathan had left him more emotionally drained than physically tired. It had been nice to just have a normal conversation with his half brother, and though they hadn't crossed any monumental bridges, they were definitely on course for a less hate filled relationship. And Luke had to admit; anything was better than all the anger and animosity they currently had. He didn't expect them to ever be brothers in a conventional manner, but at least they could start working towards being friends.

Finding an unread book on the floor, Luke picked it up and stuffed it into the faded duffel bag that Haley brought from his home. He was in the process of getting his things together and straightening the room. Karen had called Deb from the road and updated her on their travel progress and without any problems, she and Keith would be there to pick Luke up around suppertime. He was excited about seeing them both, as it felt like a year since he'd been with them. Luke was having a serious issue with losing track of time since the accident. And while the doctor kept reassuring them that all these problems were normal after effects of the concussion, Luke felt like he was losing his mind.

Dan watched silently from the doorway as his oldest son moved slowly around the room, straightening the bed covers and stuffing odds and ends into his bag. Something within him constricted, and Dan realized that he didn't want Lucas to leave. It had taken him days to get used to being so physically close to Luke, but now he was afraid to let the boy go home. And he was going home. Back to his own world, with Karen and Keith, where he belonged. There were times when he truly understood that he and Lucas were worlds apart, but a part of Dan was afraid that he'd never get this close to having a relationship with his son if he let Luke go.

Knocking lightly on the dark wood door, Lucas looked up as Dan walked into the room. "Deb wanted to make sure that you took all your medicine home. She also printed out a list of all the doctor's instructions and your follow up appointments next week," Dan said, putting the manila envelope in the worn duffel bag that sat on the bed. "I'm sure she's told Karen all of this information, but we wanted to make sure that everything was listed, in case you have any unexpected problems."

Lucas silently nodded, still uncertain what to say around Dan. It was one thing to have a few late night confessional conversations, but somehow talking seemed a more odious chore in daylight. "Um, thanks. I am sure that my mom will really appreciate it. And all the other stuff you all have done the past few days," he fumbled, uncharacteristically inarticulate.

Motioning for Luke to sit down, Dan sank into one of the room's chairs. For all the color that had finally returned to Luke's face, Dan thought that he still looked haggard. "Well, I am sure that Karen and I have a lot to discuss, especially based on our talks over the past few days."

A frown crossed Luke's forehead at Dan's words. He was trying to remember what he and Dan had discussed, as the details were rather elusive. "Um, was that the late night escape attempt talk or the drugged out egg conversation?"

He considered Luke's words, before laughing out loud. "You do have a way of wording things, you know? I think this was the egg conversation, though. The one where we decided to try to hang out?" Dan prompted, watching as first confusion, then trepidation crossed his son's face.

"We agreed to hang out?" Lucas asked, trying to clarify exactly what they had decided that night. Dan nodded, as a growing feeling of unease spread throughout the room. "We didn't really make any hard decisions, as you kind of fell asleep in the middle of the conversation."

Lucas slowly nodded, wondering if he was a total mental case for ever talking to the man. This was the guy who spent years ignoring him and the past few months tormenting him. But the less cynical part of Lucas saw something new in Dan. He saw and felt an awareness and interest from Dan that he'd never seen before. "So this 'getting to know you' phase will involve hanging out?" he questioned.

"I didn't say that. I mean, it could involve letter writing or emailing, if they ever fix this stupid home network of mine." Dan sensed Lucas' reluctance, which in turn made him grow cautious. He'd been inundated by Deb's constant positivity regarding Lucas, and he'd stopped being realistic. And reality wasn't looking favorably for the future of their relationship.

Luke's interest was piqued by the mention of the network. He'd seen all the equipment around Dan's office to realize that they were putting in a wireless network, but he'd not talked to anyone about it. Like cars, Luke had a naturally affinity with making computers work. His house was too small to need anything that elaborate, but Luke could see how a big house like Dan's, with three computer users, could definitely use a networked environment. A small cough from Dan jerked Lucas back to the present. "Sorry. I got lost between you asking me about hanging out and your lame network."

Dan sighed. "Nothing is ever easy with you, is it?" Dan took a deep breath and started over. "I am trying to establish reasonable expectations for whatever we have here. The last thing I need is Karen on my back about me setting up false expectations and hurting your feelings."

Luke shrugged his shoulders. "It's not like I expect anything from you, only that if you are going to continue to ignore me that you do it civilly."

"I don't want to ignore you. I'm not saying that we'll ever have a normal parent/child relationship …" Dan said, stopping momentarily to find the right words. He wasn't sure what he wanted to convey to the boy, or how to do it once he figured out what he wanted to say. The entire process of talking to Lucas confounded Dan.

Lucas finished his sentence. "We won't ever have a normal relationship because Keith will always be my father. You don't get to walk into my life after 16 years and expect me to call you daddy," Lucas retorted, his anger boiling over.

"Exactly. But we could work on getting to know each other, talk on a regular basis, or just hang out occasionally. I would like to know more about you," Dan sincerely said.

Lucas noted his father's earnestness and his relatively humble demeanor. "Okay, so maybe we start with civil and work up to friends?" Luke suggested, uncertain about where they could start. He could only imagine how hard it would be to relate to the man, when he could barely hold a conversation with the guy.

Dan shook his head and groaned. "This is worse than negotiating a car sale."

Luke gave him a pointed look. "I don't trust you enough to buy a car from you." Not that Luke could have bought a car from the man. After helping his mother with household expenses and bills, he'd barely had enough to buy little things like cd's and clothes. And books. Luke could only dream of the day he could buy all the books he wanted. He jealously considered Nathan's plush Navigator and how cool it would be to drive an SUV like that. Not that he could have afforded the insurance on it, let alone the cost of the truck. Frowning, Luke pushed those thoughts from his head. He was lucky enough to borrow vehicles from his mom and Keith, and there was no sense in lusting after material things that his brother had.

Dan laughed at Luke's retort. "You should never trust the person you are buying a car from," he offered, making a mental note to instruct the boy on the finer aspects of getting a good deal.

Luke thought about their situation for a few moments, as silence filled the room. This was a major turning point in his life. He could take Brooke's advice and try to make something out of this situation with Dan. Or he could give a halfhearted attempt that was doomed to fail. He sat up a bit straighter, as the decision formed in his mind. "Okay. Here's the deal. I want something concrete set up tonight, because if I leave with vague promises to call and set things up, it won't work. We both know it will never happen. And then things will be worse than before, because we never really tried," Luke explained, watching as Dan listened intently.

"I agree. It will be too hard to do this later, so let's strike while we have some momentum," Dan said. "Why don't we set up a once a week thing? We could shoot hoops or something." Dan wasn't sure that he had anything in common with the boy, but basketball seemed to be the common thread he had with both of his sons.

Luke emphatically shook his head. "No way. No basketball. I've seen how that's warped Nate and I am not going to let you do that to me," Luke noted. "Besides, it's too easy for you. I want you to have to actually work at spending time with me." Basketball had been the impetus for Dan leaving Karen in the first place, and Luke didn't want it to be the bridge that he came back into their lives on.

Dan thought for a few minutes, trying to remember what little he knew about Luke. "Do we have anything except basketball in common? Something that won't leave huge gaping silences while we're together?"

Luke stared at the carpet, pondering Dan's words. He didn't know his father at all, but from what he'd seen, they had little to no shared interests. That kind of made spending time together a challenge. "You have to have some kind of interests outside of playing basketball."

"Watching basketball on TV?" Dan asked, in a hopeful tone. If they could spend their time watching a game, it would be much easier on both of them, he thought.

Luke rolled his eyes at Dan's response. "Do you read? Or fish? Do you like museums?"

Dan shuddered at the idea of walking around some quiet museum. "I guess it's pretty easy to see you inherited your basketball skills from me and your brains from Karen. She was always a PBS watching book worm, too."

Luke laughed at that image of his mother. They were both bookworms. He looked up at Dan and said, "I wonder if I would love to read so much if I grew up around you."

Dan thought about that for a few seconds. "I don't know. Nathan and I would rather be moving than sitting still. Deb likes to read but doesn't have much of a chance anymore. I just don't know what things are shaped by heredity or environment."

They sat in silence for a while, letting it encroach and then take over the room. Finally, Dan presented his idea. "We could spend every Sunday together, which won't interfere with my job or your games. We could go see a movie together."

"Sunday is fine, but the movie thing isn't. Again, it means spending time with little to no communication," Luke debated, wanting Dan to understand that talking was part of the deal.

Dan shook his head in frustration. "Do you have any ideas to contribute, since you hate all of mine?"

Thinking about the past few days, an idea suddenly struck Luke. "Your network. I can help you get it installed and running. That should eat up a couple of weeks of time. And then we can go from there, trying to figure out what to do together."

"The guy who is trying to install it actually does the custom stereo installs for the dealership. He's not really a computer person," Dan admitted, seeing how it had taken the guy nearly 2 months to get the right equipment ordered. "Do you know enough about computers to do this?"

"Yeah, I do a lot of computer stuff for everyone I know. It's not that difficult if you know how to set up the hardware and software. And you can help me install the stuff. I mean, you have to have some mechanical ability, since you're related to Keith," Luke replied, liking the idea that he'd found a way for them to do something together that would require interaction.

Dan smiled at the idea. "That would work, especially if you can just get the stupid network running. I have to be able to do work from home, and Deb and Nathan need access as well," he stated, looking at Luke with a smile. They could spend time together and he could get a long-standing issue resolved. "And maybe you can stay and have dinner with us every Sunday. I think Deb would like that."

Feeling nervous, Luke pushed himself off the bed and went to look out the window. "All this is contingent on getting my mom's approval," Luke said, looking back at Dan. "I won't do anything that upsets her or that she doesn't agree to."

"I plan on discussing this with Karen when she gets here tonight. I'm sure that she'll not have a problem, once I explain what we're trying to do," he said, hesitating a bit despite his bravado. Knowing Karen, she was more likely to put him on a spit and roast him alive, rather than let her son spend time at his house.

Luke absently played with the hem of his faded blue t-shirt, as he listened to Dan's reassurances. "I guess we'll find out in a few hours. Just come up and get me once the screaming is finished," he added.

Dan stood up and moved toward the door. "Oh you'll be downstairs when she gets here. We are opening Christmas gifts when Deb and the girls get back."

Lucas looked at him in confusion. "So you all want me to sit around and watch you open up gifts? I think I'd rather sit up here and wait for my mom to show up."

Frowning, Dan turned back to face his oldest son. He and Deb had made a special trip to the store to get gifts for Lucas, so he'd have something to open on this very day. Now Luke was acting all sullen and distant at the very moment they should be getting closer on a family holiday. "I guess that's okay, but Deb has already put your gifts under the tree. I guess we can send them home with you so you can open them tomorrow with Keith and Karen."

Crossing his arms protectively in front of him, Lucas' voice grew smaller. "I have presents? Downstairs?"

"You think I invited you down to watch us open gifts while you just sat there? Of course you have gifts," Dan said, noting how small and sad the boy looked. The look on Lucas' face said it all: he didn't think his own father would get him a Christmas gift. Then Dan realized that Luke's question was valid, given that he'd never gotten him a gift or even a card for the past 15 years. Dan tried not to dwell on past mistakes, but seeing the vulnerability that radiated from Lucas caused him great guilt. It finally hit him how deeply not having a father had affected his son. Luke truly expected his own father to ignore him, while a guest in his home, on the biggest holiday of the year.

"Oh," was all he managed to eek out in reply. Luke turned back toward the window, his arms still crossed protectively across his chest. He suddenly felt very exposed, as if he'd cross another imaginary line with his father. He also felt foolish, acting so stupid over a stupid Christmas present. It's not like he'd never gotten a gift before.

Walking up behind him, Dan hesitantly reached out and put his hand on Luke's shoulder. When Luke failed to pull away from him, Dan continued talking. "Granted, we don't know you that well, and Deb and I had to base sizes for you on what Nathan wears. And we don't know what was on your wish list. But we wanted you to have something for Christmas," he finally finished, feeling silly about how rambling and incoherent he was getting. "Oh, and we invited Brooke to stay, as well."

Smiling, Lucas turned around to face him with a goofy grin on his face. Dan laughed, watching him go from sullen to sad to hormonal in less than a few minutes. "I have no clue what her parents were thinking. Her dad and I have known each other our entire lives and he never used to be this thoughtless. Even I wouldn't leave Nate alone on a major holiday."

"Her parents don't really think about her, from what I can tell. She was planning on spending Christmas with her maid," Luke stated, happy that she'd been invited to stay. He didn't want to impose on the Scotts anymore than his mere presence already had, but he didn't want Brooke to be alone either.

Dan put his hand on Luke's back and propelled him toward the door. "Well, now she can spend the holiday basking in your presence. Between you two and Nathan and Haley, it's going to be one big luvvvvfest," Dan joked, happily noting that Lucas hadn't shrugged off his father's hand from his shoulder. In fact, Lucas seemed to be more relaxed than Dan had seen him before. He wasn't sure if it was their constant heart to heart talks, or just the idea of Brooke being with him. But he was definitely smiling a lot more lately.

Worn out, tired, and still achy, Luke was practically bouncing down the stairs. Dan smiled and followed him, only with a little less energy. This was looking to be one of the best Christmas Dan had ever had.

Next: Xmasfest continues and Karen comes home. Thanks for reading and replying.