FEBRUARY : THE DAY BEFORE THE IOWA CAUCUS
"Happy Birthday."
Olivia awoke to those words murmured across her forehead with a kiss as a period mark.
"What?" She mumbled, opening her eyes, and trying to sit up. Only a tray of breakfast was across her lap. Fitz was sitting at her side with an amused smirk at her. He always loved waking her up, because despite getting up at ungodly hours every morning, she was not a morning person. "What is this?"
"Your birthday breakfast." He leaned in to kiss her confused and half-awake lips. "Happy 30th birthday."
"It's not my birthday." She mumbled.
"But tomorrow you will be in Iowa, sweeping the voters into the booths. I thought the least we could do is celebrate it today."
"Right." Olivia leaned her head back against her pillow. "That."
"What's wrong?" He chuckled.
"I just forgot my birthday was this week." Olivia hated celebrating herself. That meant dragging her feet on any birthday or Mother's Day. Fitz usually had to enlist Alex on those days to make her take a step back and enjoy herself. The last Mother's Day, they had to steal any communication devices and force her to go to a 2 hour spa treatment. It made sense that with the scramble to secure the Iowa nomination and kick off the primary season she forgot about her 30th birthday – especially since it fell exactly on the same day.
"This is a milestone birthday." He said, tempting a piece of cantaloupe in front of her lips.
"Sure." She said, still grumpy about being woken up.
"Are you mad that you will no longer top Forbe's 30 under 30 list?"
"Shut up." Olivia rolled her eyes
"Wait… Are you actually feeling old?" Fitz laughed, deciding to poke fun at her discomfort.
"No…" She said defensively.
"You are!" He delicately pulled an errant strand of her bed hair from her forehead. "I mean, you can dye the grey black, and nobody will tell the difference."
Olivia reached for his pillow on the other side of the bed and smacked him across the face with it.
"Okay, okay. Sore subject. Gotcha." He laughed a hearty laugh. "I am going to get Alex ready for day care. Stay in bed and enjoy your breakfast."
"This breakfast is really sweet." Olivia wrapped her hand around the nape of his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. "But I hope that you didn't plan anything else. I have a flight booked for 2:00."
"I know, I know. I put a present in your suitcase that you can't open until I tell you to. There are instructions included."
"You know that I don't want presents." Olivia protested. "Breakfast in bed is all I need."
"I know, but I choose to ignore your rules sometimes." He winked, leaning in for another kiss.
Olivia glanced at her clock. "If you are on Alex duty, you might want to get a head start. She was in a mood last night and wouldn't let me brush her hair last night before she went to bed. It takes you twice as long to do her hair anyways."
"I did it in fifteen minutes the other day." He bragged.
"You mean when you just pulled it back into a bun? Nice try." She joked.
"I'm getting there."
"One day you will master the French braid." Olivia winked.
/
IOWA
"Did you open it yet?" Fitz asked.
"No, it is in my purse." Olivia rolled her eyes as if he could see her. He was making such a big deal about the small box she found in the lining of her suitcase that is equally annoyed her and intrigued her.
"Good." Fitz smirked. "I'll let you know when."
"Are you watching the results?"
"Alex and I have BNC blaring as we speak." Fitz replied. "Things look good, right?"
"Yeah, things look good." Olivia looked through the glass of where the campaign was watching the television. They were up big. Bigger than they expected. Overwhelmingly big. Yet Olivia was cautious. They were practically popping champagne already, but she knew that anything could change on a whim, especially with primaries.
"You don't sound excited."
"Just careful." Olivia said, grateful that his call pulled her from the boisterous room. "Can I open my present yet?"
"Oh, so now you want to know what is inside." Fitz joked. "Am I keeping you from anything right now?"
"No." Olivia said honestly. His voice always brought her down from whatever stress she was feeling from the campaign. The room roared. Olivia looked up to see the TV blaring SALAS VICTORY. "We won." She whispered in quiet happiness.
"Okay, you can open it."
Olivia reached into her purse to pull out the neatly wrapped box. She pulled the paper off to reveal two boxes. In Fitz's handwriting, A and B was scrawled onto each. "Which box should I open?"
"A."
She opened it to find a gaudy keychain in the shape of the state of Iowa, with the state's flag and the words I 3 Iowa printed cheaply on it. She couldn't help but laugh. "This is perfect."
"You really like it?"
She honestly loved it. She hated presents so much that she was annoyed that he made such a big deal about it. She imagined some necklace or earing set that cost him too much was in it. But the fact that he put so much thought into an ugly yet comical gift made her smile. "It is the best gift I've ever received."
"There was another one that said, Iowan Girls Do It Best, but I thought that one was a little too tacky."
Olivia couldn't wipe the smile off of her face. "What is in the other box?"
"A keychain that says, you'll get them next time, tiger, with the number of Des Moines's best wine delivery shop."
"I love you."
"Happy Birthday."
"I should get back to the party." Olivia said regretfully. "I love you." She repeated.
"I love you too."
"Give Alex a kiss for me."
Once Olivia returned, she gratefully accepted a red solo cup of champagne. Daniel made his rounds, thanking every Iowa volunteer for their contributions. Olivia stayed off to the fringe of the room, checking their schedule for the next day. While this victory was sweet, they still had a lot of work to do. Most of their campaign workers were young and new to this, so she had to make sure they didn't lose track in the long run.
"This is crazy, isn't it?" Abbey joined her, refilling her cup with the remaining champagne from a bottle.
"It is. We officially have our foot in the door."
"What if he actually wins this…" Abbey mused, as if she was conceiving it for the first time.
"He will." Olivia said with confidence.
"I mean, like… Wow." Abbey shook her head. Olivia had to remind herself that Abbey didn't work on her first campaign with her. She hired her old law school friend to OPA after the turned down the West Wing job. Abbey turned to Olivia and cocked her head. "You know that Daniel is going to offer you chief of staff, right?"
"Has he said that?" Olivia chuckled.
"No, but it would be natural. I mean, most campaign managers become their candidate's chief of staff."
"Well, he would have to find someone else." Olivia said.
"Why not?"
"I turned down the White House before. I can do it again."
"The last president offered you a bread crumb. But, chief of staff? You would be plucking the chord of American history. The most influence in, arguably, the most powerful country in the world… An opportunity of a lifetime."
"I like being my own boss." Olivia remained. In all honesty, the thought of working at the White House held little appeal to her. OPA was way more interesting, and she never felt tied down by politics. Abbey was silent after that comment, and it occurred to Olivia that she felt differently. "Would you accept it?"
"What? I don't know…" Abbey seemed like she never considered it herself. "I can't imagine not working for you."
"It would be okay if you did." Olivia said. "I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything by staying."
"I owe you a lot more than you think." Abbey said with depth.
"It would be an opportunity of a lifetime." Olivia used her own words against her tongue-in-cheek. "I need to get started on next week's agenda, before I fly back."
And with that, Olivia left Abbey to ponder.
/
JUNE, CALIFORNIA
"What is it?" Abbey asked.
"What do you mean?" Olivia asked, snapping out of her trance.
"I mean that California's primary is tomorrow… the big determiner if we have this cinched, and you are staring off into la la land."
"Sorry." Olivia said, shuffling some papers across her makeshift desk. "What do you want?"
"I've got the latest numbers on Orange County. It's not pretty. Salas being Latino is not comforting to the white democrats who are still worried about immigration."
"What about the rest of the Southern California districts? This state is almost a majority Latino."
"Good enough to give him some lead, but not as much as we had hoped." Abbey admitted.
"Why not?"
"Honestly, we are trying to figure that out. I think that maybe it is because the younger generations don't care that much about immigration reform. There are now more second generation Chicanos and times have changed. Marcus disagrees. He thinks that it's an issue of…"
Olivia momentarily drowned out Abbey's voice. She was trying to focus her mind on Salas and the underwhelming support from communities they anticipated that he would sweep, but she couldn't. All she could think about was the plastic stick shoved down to the bottom of the waste basket. She was too scared to pull it out again. To see those two lines. The second they popped up, she was too scared to hold the evidence in her hands. Staring at it longer meant adding a crazy layer to her already hectic life.
But part of her thought about what would happen when she told Fitz. She knew that he would be ecstatic. He would know all of the right things to say to her that would make it all seem less overwhelming.
She thought back to when she found out that she was pregnant with Alex.
(reflection to) FIVE YEARS AGO
Olivia always thought that women were lying about knowing early on that they were pregnant. She thought it was all superstition and hindsight. After all, some went months before realizing they were with child. But she knew early with Alex.
Jake had talked about trying for a child. She wasn't sold on it. It terrified her that she could be pregnant. But she went along slowly. They wouldn't force it, but if it happened, then it would happen. Olivia couldn't place how she knew, she just felt different. They kept a box of tests under the sink, so she thought it wouldn't hurt just to test one out. After all, she had never taken one before.
It was positive.
She couldn't move from the bathroom floor until Jake came home from a late night meeting. Even though he knew what to say, she still couldn't shake the feeling of terror in her. She never saw herself as a mother. She never felt the pull of maternal instincts before. Maybe it was because most of her memories of her mother were clouded by the trauma of her death. She never even felt the pressure of society to have a child.
However, she took solace in the fact that Jake was good with kids. He told her about his younger brothers that he helped raise – a lie she didn't realize at the time – so she believed that if anything else, their child would have a good father. And he took the lead on all of the prenatal care. He made sure that she had the right vitamins, never missed an appointment, had the nursery equipped with the safest furniture.
His preparedness made her fool herself into thinking she was ready to be a mother. And when Alex came and he wasn't there, it was like starting all over again. All of her doubts and fears about being a mother were brought back to life. Even now, that she had somehow managed to keep Alex normal and healthy, she was still awaken in the night by thoughts that maybe she wasn't doing the right thing.
It's not that she had any doubts in Fitz. He was more of a father than she could ever dream of. He was constantly there to assuage her doubts. He always knew the right things to do with Alex. He was an incredible with her, but no matter how sure and strong he was when she needed him, she was still terrified.
What if Alex didn't want a baby sibling? What if she miscarried like before? What if she felt differently about this baby, since it would be Fitz's and not Jake's? Not that she could love Alex more that she already did, but what if she loved someone else more? How would Fitz react to her pregnancy in the middle of an election—?
BACK TO PRESENT DAY
"Liv." Abbey's voice snapped her out of her trance.
"Sorry." Olivia shook her head, trying to remember what Abbey was talking about.
"Do you want to tell me what is going on? I've never seen you so distracted when you are supposed to be so focused."
"I'm pregnant." Olivia blurted. "Shit."
"Shit." Abbey repeated her. "That's incredible! Have you told Fitz yet?"
"I just found out thirty minutes ago."
"This is good news, right?" Abbey was confused by her dazed appearance. "Or am I missing something?"
"It's good news." Olivia said, like she was trying to convince herself. "It's just… a lot."
"How far along are you?"
"Fuck, I don't know."
"When was the last time that you two…" Abbey trailed off.
"Do you really want to know the answer to that?" Olivia raised one eyebrow.
"You are right. I don't." Abbey dismissed, leaning forward, "Can I?"
"No, I don't want anybody to know." Olivia looked over at the rest of the bus. Thankfully, everybody was out of ear reach, but Abbey putting her hand across her stomach would definitely start rumors. "I don't know how to tell Fitz."
"You can take your time." Abbey said. "I remember how you were when you found out you were pregnant with Alex. Take this slow."
"Thanks." Olivia sighed, "Now that the cat is out of the bag, maybe I can focus on some numbers. What were you saying again?"
/
"What's up baby brother?" Fitz grinned, flagging down his brother at the baggage claim.
"Nothing much…" John Grant embraced him in a big hug. It always amazed Fitz how much they looked alike. John was 7 years younger than him, so growing up they never really looked alike. Now he was Fitz with shorter hair and a leaner face. He had already started to grey before Fitz, but he was in better shape. He served in the Navy before suffering a knee injury, and resigning to a comfy desk job in San Diego. He still worked out like a madman, but Fitz had an easy three inches on him.
"Wow, this can't be Alex." He crouched down to where Alex was clinging to Fitz's leg, overwhelmed by the noisy airport.
"Alex, do you remember your uncle John?"
"The Alex I remember was about…" He raised and lowered his hand by her, trying to get the right height. "This tall." He stopped his hand by her shoulder. "You can't be the same Alex!"
Alex giggled, warming up to him again. The last time she saw him was at Olivia and Fitz's wedding.
"Here, let me get your bag. I parked my car, because your flight was delayed. It is kind of a walk."
"I can't complain after you are taking your weekend off for me." Fitz scooped Alex up onto his shoulders. She squealed, grabbing fistfuls of his hair like reigns. "It really means a lot."
"Come on, I never get to see you. I had to."
"I can help you find a place in D.C. if you ever change your mind." Fitz reminded.
"You are the one that moved across the country. It is time for you to come back home to the West."
"I like the change of seasons." Fitz said, more of to himself. He missed California, but he could never move back. He liked the structure of the East Coast. Plus his family was in D.C. "Do you think we can make it to the hotel by the time the results come in?"
"If traffic isn't horrendous." John shrugged in his nonchalant manner.
Fitz wanted to surprise Olivia at the hotel the campaign was stopped at. Tonight, the California primary results were coming in. He wanted to surprise Olivia and see what her life on the road was like. The California primary offered the perfect opportunity. Fitz knew that this election would either hand Salas the final delegates he needed, or prolong the fight – which put the fate in states supporting his competitors. He wanted to be there with her to celebrate if it went well, or support her if it didn't.
The initial plan was to get there an hour before the final results, but a flat tire left them stranded on the side of an interstate. John's wife had to come rescue them setting them back a couple of hours. On top of that, they hit late rush hour, setting them back even further. He had to listen to the results on the radio. County by county came in. Salas was ahead by a lot, then Orange County came in, tying it up.
The traffic made Fitz remember why he never he never moved back. It made him anxious to be at Olivia's side. When the final results came in and the radio broadcaster announced Salas's victory, Fitz breathed a sigh of relief. He knew how important this victory was to Olivia. She had now succeeded in giving Salas the Democratic nomination. They were still thirty minutes away, so he imagined that he would catch her mid-celebration.
When they finally made it to the hotel, Fitz set his stuff down and put a tired Alex to bed. She was too tired to wait for him to find Olivia. He knew that Alex would be happy to see Olivia in the morning. Plus, if Olivia was in the state she was when the campaign won New Hampshire, he knew that she was probably very drunk and very loud somewhere. John settled in the adjoining room, promising to keep an eye on Alex while Fitz went to find Olivia.
He went down to the lobby to ask the concierge where the campaign was.
/
"I can't believe this…" Salas said, finishing his glass. He motioned for the bartender to refill his glass. He took a seat next to her on the couch she had been occupying all evening. Usually, Olivia would cut him off two drinks ago, but he deserved it. He was now in the big leagues, ready to fight for the final prize: the Oval Office. They were at the rented out bar of a hotel right on Santa Monica's beach. Everybody was slowly filing out of the space to find their beds before getting on an early 4am roll out back to D.C.
Olivia had not had a drop of alcohol, but she was buzzing. The victory alone was enough to supplement the alcohol that everybody else had drank. She kept a half drunk glass of wine in front of her throughout the night so that nobody would question why she wasn't drinking, leading to pregnancy rumors. She leaned back into the couch, taking it all in. "You actually did it."
"No, you did it." Salas corrected. "I don't believe any of the hype around me getting this far. If it wasn't for you, I would have been dropped before Super Tuesday."
"I'm not the first Hispanic candidate to capture the majority of the Democratic Party." Olivia reminded. "I'm not the child of immigrants winning over an intrinsically racist country."
"Shit… I guess I am an immigrant Mexican that just got one step closer to the highest office in the land." Salas said.
Olivia couldn't help but laugh at the way he said that. "This is a big moment. I mean, just think about how many young boys that look like you are thinking…, 'damn, I could be him.' right now."
"Shit…" Salas repeated, taking a deep breath. "That is a lot of pressure."
"You don't have to feel any pressure other than to be your best self."
"It's crazy that I never saw myself here." Salas said in a deeply reflective tone. He was drunk, sure, but he was speaking from his heart. "I mean, growing up, seeing what my mom went through… I just wanted to do alright by her. I wanted to make sure she never had to worry again. I never thought that I would be propelled to this platform. That a guy like me could make it this far."
"I'm sure that she is very proud of you." Olivia said softly.
"I wish she was here…" He began. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to down the mood like that…"
"It's fine."
"No, I mean… What I mean to say is…" He stumbled over his words, setting his glass down and leaning forward. "Nobody has believed in me like she has—"
"I'm sure."
"Until you."
Before Olivia could process his words, he was leaning in. His hand wrapped around the back of her neck as he pressed his mouth to hers. It took her a second to grasp what he was doing. The thought of him expressing romantic feelings for her was so left field, that when it finally hit her that he was kissing her, she pulled back. She pushed his hand away.
"Fitz…" Olivia gasped.
"No, I'm Daniel." He chuckled, slurring his words.
Except Olivia wasn't looking at him. She was looking past him to the entrance to the bar where her husband was standing. What the fuck was he doing there? Of all times, now? Fitz took a few steps back before briskly walking down the hall. "Shit." Olivia grabbed her purse and chased after him. "Fitz."
He didn't respond. He just wanted to get away from her. He made it out of the hotel and onto the beach. He didn't care that sand was getting in his shoes and kicking up along his legs. He hadn't heard her call his name since the lobby, so maybe she had let him storm away. He didn't care either way.
Olivia caught up with him, realizing that yelling his name would only attract attention. She kicked off her heels once she was at the sand and ran to his side, grabbing his arm. "Fitz stop."
"No." He shoved her hand off.
"I can explain."
"I don't care."
"Fitz." Olivia cried, running around him and planting herself squarely in his path. "It was not what it looked like."
"You really are running through the cliché excuses aren't you." He turned, walking in a different direction.
"It is not an excuse, it is the truth." Olivia begged, power walking behind him to try to keep up. "Just listen to me."
"No, you listen to me." He stopped and turned around. Olivia couldn't stop her momentum as she collided into his chest. He didn't budge. He didn't make any moves to catch her as she lost her balance momentarily, before straightening out. "I have put up with so much of your shit this past year.
"That is not fair."
"It isn't? Then what is? You committing to a national campaign not even days into our honeymoon? Spending more time of our first year on a campaign bus in Utah or Iowa than in our home? Or how about this… The real kicker of it all: you having an affair with the candidate. Seriously, Olivia, how fucking twisted are you?"
"I'm not—"
"I don't give a fuck." He spat. "I have put up with too much from you. I thought that I loved you, and we were different. I thought we would be okay. But I guess it turns out you are no better than Mellie."
"You don't know what you are talking about." Olivia begged as he began to walk away again. She reached for his hand.
"What I do know." Fitz jerked his hand away from her. "Is that I don't want to fucking look at you right now. I'm catching the first flight out of here."
"Fitz…"
"I'm not interested in your excuses. I don't want to hear about how you just had too much to drink, or any bull shit like that."
"I have not had one drop the entire night."
"You expect me to believe that?" He scoffed. He knew better to believe that on the most successful night of the campaign, she didn't have a glass or two of champagne. "I saw your fucking wine glass."
"I'm pregnant."
Fitz stopped dead in his tracks. Olivia never wished that she could take any words back as much as she did then.
"Send the father my congratulations." Fitz muttered, walking away.
Olivia watched as he disappeared further down the dark beach. She couldn't move, as if the air was made of quicksand. She couldn't believe how everything could go from great to so bad. She wanted to scream into the sand. She wanted to lie so still that the cool night would envelope her and make her cease to exist.
Fitz had never spoken to her like that. He had never looked at her with such disdain. He had never shoved her away like that. There had been times when she thought that they were through before, but this was different. She was unable to move for the longest time.
"Olivia…" Daniel's voice came from behind her.
She didn't respond. The air was still knocked out of her lungs. She was froze, not moving an inch, with her arms crossed across her stomach, as if to stop the pain that was rippling through her chest.
"Olivia, I am so sorry." He kneeled next to her, putting his hand on her shoulder.
"Daniel, I need you to leave." She said through gritted teeth.
"I was out of – "
"Go." Olivia growled, making him lift his hand immediately from her shoulder.
"You shouldn't be out here." He was still there. "It is cold and dark. It isn't safe."
"You have no say over where I choose to be." Olivia said in a low voice. "Leave me the fuck alone."
Daniel held his hands up in a surrendered position. He figured it was best just to walk away, and leave her. He had already done enough damage.
Finally, after Olivia felt like she could move again, she slowly wiped the hot tears from her face. Once she made it back to the hotel, she found the front desk.
"Could you give me the room number that Fitzgerald Grant is staying in?" She asked.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can't give out guests' confidential information." The woman apologized politely.
"He's my husband. I just forgot to get the room number from him… He's not answering his cell phone." She lied a little bit to make it seem more believable, although she was sure that if she called him, he wouldn't pick up.
"I can call his room for you, to see if he picks up, but I'm afraid that is all I can legally do."
"Never mind. Thanks for your help." Olivia walked away from the front desk. She saw John coming out of the elevator. "John!" She flagged him down, happy to see a familiar face. He probably knew where Fitz was. "Have you seen Fitz?"
"Yeah about fifteen minutes ago… Geez, Olivia what the hell happened? He said he was going to surprise you, and then came back and grabbed Alex out of bed. He said that he was going to catch a cab back to the airport. I couldn't get anything else out of him."
"Shit…" Olivia began to pace. "Do you have a car? I need to get to the airport."
"Someone has to tell me what is going on."
"It was all a huge misunderstanding. Fitz thought that he saw me do something, but it's not true. He won't listen to me."
"Fill me in on the details in the car." John was already walking out of the lobby with his keys in hand.
TEN YEARS AGO
Fitz called in sick to work. He had never done that in his entire career. But tonight was different. He was waiting for Mellie to come home. Jerry was off at camp, and Karen had a sleepover for her friend's birthday, so Fitz settled on the couch with a bottle of scotch. It wasn't unusual for him to enjoy a couple drinks after a long shift, but this time he just didn't stop. He kept pouring until he felt numb.
He heard the door open and close. He lifted his heavy eyes to see Mellie come in.
"Jesus Christ, you scared me." She said, setting her purse down. She flicked the lights on. "Why aren't you at work?"
"I called in sick." He mumbled, standing up.
Mellie saw that he was drunk out of his mind. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she started to go upstairs to their bedroom. Fitz wasn't an alcoholic, but it seem like he was picking up the bottle more and more. He seemed to be working more and more, meaning he needed to blow off steam more. She just wanted to go to bed and pretend he wasn't there.
He stopped her, blocking her path.
"I'm tired." Mellie said. "Let me by."
"I know." His breath was like gasoline to her, making her skin crawl.
"What are you talking about, Fitz?" His body language was alarming her.
"I know you are cheating on me."
"Fitz—" Mellie took a step back. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about how I came by your work today to get your signature on a document. Your receptionist told me that you weren't in. That you had a meeting in Bethesda with a vendor. Which is strange, considering that I saw your car parked in the corner of the garage. I went over to your car to find you topless with another man."
"It's not what it looks like."
"Then what exactly is straddling a man who is not your husband of 8 years, with no fucking shirt on? With his tongue down your throat? Or was it your tongue down his? I should have taken a fucking picture."
"Fitz—"
"Answer me." Fitz knocked a vase off of a table to the floor. It shattered loudly, making Mellie jump.
"Fitz, you are scaring me." Mellie took another step back, putting distance between them. Fitz had never been a violent man before. But she had never seen him this mad.
"Who is he? How long has this been going on?"
"A—Andrew." Mellie trembled.
"Shit." Fitz began to pace. "Were you just with him?"
"I'm so sorry." Mellie whispered.
"Leave." Fitz spat.
"Where do I—"
"I don't give a fuck. Maybe ask Andrew."
Mellie stood there frozen for a couple of seconds.
"Go."
She grabbed her purse, fleeing out of the door. Fitz slumped to the floor, holding his head in his hands. He wouldn't find the energy to get up from there the entire night.
/
PRESENT DAY
"That's fucked up…" John admitted, after she told him about the ending of their conversation. "Nothing has ever wrecked him like finding out Mellie cheated on him. I've known him my entire life, and I've never seen him that mad… or volatile."
"Do you think Alex is safe?" Olivia let her worst fear creep into her head.
"Of course, come on. It's Fitz." John assured.
"Sorry, I didn't mean that." Olivia apologized. She was not at her best at the moment. Her head was pounding, and she had a bad taste in her mouth.
"Besides, he's mad at you, not Alex."
"That's comforting." Olivia mumbled.
"I have to ask… I mean I'm only driving you because I'm worried about Fitz." John took a deep breath. "Are you cheating on Fitz?"
"No." Olivia said with confidence. She understood why he had to ask. "I would never."
"Then why did you let him kiss you."
"I wasn't even paying attention. I mean, we were talking about what it meant that he was the first Latino man to secure a major party nomination, and then I felt his lips on mine. By the time I could wrap my mind around what was happening, I pushed back and looked up to see Fitz standing there. I mean, it all happened so fast."
"Okay." John nodded. "I believe you."
He pulled into the airport parking lot. Olivia was grateful that it was late enough that the usual LAX congestion wasn't there. They practically sprinted to the front desk.
"What flights do you have going to DCA tonight?" Olivia asked the ticket desk.
"American Airlines just sent one fifteen minutes ago. Delta has one in two hours."
"I'll take one ticket for that." Olivia pulled out her wallet out, not even thinking about the fact that all of her stuff was back in her hotel room.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but the flight is full."
"Excuse me?" Olivia asked, her heart falling. "Has everybody checked in? Are there any no shows?"
"The flight doesn't leave for another two hours. Many passengers haven't checked in yet."
"Is there a waiting list?" Olivia asked.
"Yes, I would be glad to put you on it. Let's see..." he typed into his computer. "There are two people on the waiting list, so you will be third."
"Perfect, I'll take that."
"Can I see some sort of photo identification?"
Olivia took her ID out, handing it over.
"Uh, Liv?" John asked, tapping her on her shoulder. She turned to see Fitz and Alex sitting in some of the chairs by the baggage check. Alex was asleep in his arms, her head resting on his chest.
"Excuse me." She took her ID back and walked over to Fitz.
"Hold up for a second." John stopped her with his arm gently on her shoulder. "Do you know what you are going to say?"
"No." Olivia admitted.
"Just be careful." John warned. "He may be my older brother, but I am awfully protective of him. He wouldn't have said those things before if he wasn't really hurting."
"Thank you." Olivia nodded, before continuing towards him. Fitz didn't see her, or at least he didn't act like he did. He had his phone in his hand. She sat down next to him, cautious of Alex being asleep. "Fitz, we need to talk." She whispered.
"I have nothing to say."
"I'm not letting you get on that plane."
"You can't stop us."
"Then I will go with you." Olivia said, careful to keep her words soft enough not to wake up Alex. "If you have nothing to say, could you at least hear me out?"
No response.
"I know how much cheating on you would kill you. I would never. I may not be the best wife. I may not be the best mother to Alex. But believe me when I say that I did not cheat on you with Daniel. I am not cheating on you with Daniel. We were just taking - taking in the victory. He kissed me. I didn't have time to react. When I pulled back, I saw you. That is it. Nothing else happened."
"How do I know you are telling the truth?"
"Because you know how much I love you. Even if it doesn't seem like it. I know how much Mellie hurt you. I understand why you are feeling what you are."
"What are these?" He opened his phone to show a series of pictures of Olivia and Salas. They were taken without their knowledge. At a rally in Florida, a high school in Arizona, a steel plant in Indiana. They were all candid. Probably by the press, where he was the main focus. Her straightening his tie. Him bending down to whisper in her ear. Them laughing and walking side by side.
"Friends." Olivia said honestly. "I didn't realize he felt that way about me. I swear… And if I had, then I would have cut it off from the start."
Fitz didn't respond. Instead, he kept flipping through the photos. It was one after another of innocent moments, that looked differently now.
"You have to believe me." Olivia said.
Alex stirred in Fitz's arms and they both went dead silent. Alex slowly yawned, stretching in Fitz's arms and opened her sleepy eyes. "Mommy?" She asked.
"Hey, baby." Olivia smiled, trying to act as if nothing was wrong. Alex stretched her arms forward and Olivia pulled her into her lap, planting gentle kisses along her face. "I missed you so much."
Alex was too sleepy to respond. She was just happy to be in her mother's arms. Olivia looked over to Fitz. He was still staring at the pictures on his phone. The ticket officer came over.
"We just got a call for a switched flight. There is one opening on the flight."
Fitz closed his phone. "We won't need it, thank you."
The man nodded, returning to his desk. Fitz rose, grabbing his bag. "Let's go."
Olivia hoped to find some comfort in his words, but instead he was just as cold as before. John walked over, observing their conversation from a distance.
"I'm parked in structure B." He said. Olivia stood, keeping Alex comfortable in her arms. They followed John back to his car. The car ride back to the hotel was entirely silent and uncomfortable. When they got back to the hotel, Olivia followed them to their adjoining rooms. Fitz reached for Alex from her.
"We can talk in the morning." He said coldly, shutting the door in Olivia's face.
/
TEN YEARS AGO
The next morning, he woke up with the worst hangover of his life. He tried to get up, but cut his hand on a shard of glass from the broken vase. Slowly, but surely, he picked himself up off of the floor. He cleaned up the mess and bandaged his hand. When he heard a car pull around, he knew it was her.
"What happened to your hand?" Mellie asked quietly. She was wearing different clothes, but they were still hers. She must have spare clothes at Andrew's place. That thought alone made him angry.
"Nothing." Fitz looked down at his hand that was thickly bandaged. The cut was shallow, but it was long, requiring a lot of gauze.
"Fitz, we need to talk."
He motioned for her to take a seat. "Okay."
"I think we need to be as honest with each other from here on out."
"Might as well start sometime."
Mellie ignored his comment. "I have been having an affair."
"How long?"
"Six months." She flinched at her own shame.
Fitz let out a sharp breath. "What is his name?"
"Andrew Nichols."
"How did you meet?"
"In a bar. I was meeting with a client, but my client cancelled last minute. He approached me."
"Is he married?"
"No."
"Does he know that you are married?"
"Yes."
Fitz pinched the bridge of his nose, resisting the urge to pour himself a drink. "The kids don't have to know."
"Fitz…"
"I want you to never see this man again. If he steps near you again, I will kill him. A-and we will get through this. We will do it for Karen and Jerry. I know of a marriage counselor—"
"Fitz, listen to me." Mellie begged, tears forming in her eyes. "I can't do this anymore."
"Damn right you can't."
"No… I mean us. You and me."
Fitz was silent. The weight of her words hit him like a truck, flattening him out on the ground. "You love him." He meant to ask it as a question, but it came out as a definitive statement.
"Yes." She tried to say, but the words didn't come out. Instead, just a choked nod of her head.
Fitz couldn't speak. He was trying to grasp how everything was so calm and then in a second everything is falling apart.
"I want a divorce." Mellie whispered.
"Excuse me?" Fitz asked.
"I want a divorce." She said louder.
"Why?" Fitz felt his temper rise along with his volume. "Why do you want to break apart our family so bad?"
"Because you are never here." Mellie matched his tone. She had years of emotions she had been waiting to unleash on him. "Because you would rather be taking extra shifts than go to Jerry's cross country events."
"I have been busy providing for this family." Fitz roared.
"We can go months without having sex, and you act like it is normal." Mellie's voice cracked.
"You know you could fucking ask, before spreading your legs for the first guy who will put out for you."
"The only time we even feel like a family is when we are in front of the kids." Mellie paused, collecting herself. "You aren't the boy I fell in love with at Santa Barbara High. Maybe I'm not that girl anymore."
They both froze when they heard their front door open. Karen walked in with her overnight bag. She was still in her awkward in her pre-teen years, but she had big, bright eyes and long, meticulously straightened hair. She immediately caught on to the tension in the room, despite her parents' forced smiles. It was hard to mistake the tears in her mother's eyes. Mellie never showed emotion to her.
"Hey, Karen." Mellie said stiffly, her voice trembled the slightest bit. "Why are you home so early?"
"Everybody's parents just kind of came early to get them. Jaylen's mom drove me home."
"You should borrowed someone's phone to call me."
"Whatever." Karen shrugged. She kicked her shoes off and made her way past them. "I'll be in my room."
Fitz and Mellie waited until they heard her door shut and Justin Timberlake's music playing too loudly.
"So just like that, you are going to tear this family apart." Fitz said in a low voice.
"I never meant to hurt you."
Fitz rose sharply, and she flinched back. "What? Do you think I'm going to hurt you? When have I ever laid a hand on you?"
"Never." Mellie apologized.
"Get the fuck out of my house."
"This is our hou—"
"Not anymore." Fitz said in a voice that trembled with pain.
/
PRESENT DAY
Olivia found Fitz the next morning eating breakfast in the hotel with John and Alex. It was early, but the campaign had rolled out two hours ago, headed back to D.C. She told them she would take a flight back, knowing the last place she wanted to be was on that bus. She hadn't spoken to Daniel since the night before. He sent her text after text, profusely apologizing. She didn't respond.
John rose when he saw Olivia. "I'm going to head back to San Diego soon. I want to get out of the city before rush hour hits."
"So soon?"
"You two need to spend some time together alone. I don't want to intrude."
"It was nice to see you, even for a little bit." She gave him a hug and a look that let him know how grateful she was for everything.
"Hopefully it won't be over a year before I see you two again." He patted Fitz's shoulder, and said goodbye to Alex.
"Hey, baby." Olivia kissed Alex on the cheek, sitting down next to her. "Did you sleep well last night?"
Alex nodded, distracted by the fortress she was making out of the butter and Splenda packets.
Olivia looked up at Fitz. It was clear that neither of them had slept well. Olivia wanted more than anything for him to just speak to her. His silence was the worst torture.
"I understand if you need time." Olivia said softly.
"I believe you when you say that you aren't cheating on me." Fitz said in an equally quiet voice. They were both aware of Alex sitting there. Even though she had no understanding of what was going on, and she probably wouldn't remember this conversation, they didn't want her to know that they were struggling. "But I don't think I trust your judgment. I don't understand how you could let yourself be put in that situation. It is going to take some time… for me to trust you again."
"Okay." This was hope. This meant that they were going to be okay. Not today, but down the road.
"Are you…" Fitz struggled to find the words. "Are you really pregnant?"
Olivia nodded. "I shouldn't have told you last night. It just came out, I didn't mean to bring it up in our fight."
"I didn't mean to say what I said."
"It's okay." Olivia wanted to forget last night ever happened.
"How far along are you?"
"I don't know. I just took the test a couple of days ago." Olivia said honestly. "If I had to guess, I'd say somewhere around four weeks? With Alex, I knew early. But this one feels different."
"I'll schedule an appointment at the hospital for you."
"Thank you." Olivia nodded. She didn't know what to expect from Fitz. She wanted more support, elation. He was still mad at her, and she had to accept that. In time. "So what do we do now?"
"I guess I should get back to D.C."
"Why don't we extend our reservation here? Take Alex to the beach. We could surprise her with Disneyland." Olivia offered. She wanted them to feel like a family again. Maybe they just needed time to relax together.
"Don't you have work in D.C.?"
"That is not my priority right now." Olivia said. She meant those words in more way than one. "When we first met, I told you that you had to earn me. I was unsure if I was emotionally capable to love again. I was worried about Alex. You did. You waited and were patient. You earned me…" Olivia trailed off. "And maybe I lost you somewhere along the way. But now… Now, let me earn you back."
/
TEN YEARS AGO
"Uh, the last time we had a family meeting like this… It was when you told us Skipper got hit by a car." Jerry said cautiously as he took a seat on the couch.
Mellie ignored him. "Where is Karen?"
"She said she was coming." Jerry shrugged.
"I'll go get her." Fitz offered. He went upstairs and knocked on her door. "Karen, can I come in?"
"I can't stop you." She said.
He slowly opened her door to find her lying on her stomach on her bed. Her face was buried in her pillows and her body language was tense. He sat on the edge of her bed. "Your mother and I want to talk to you."
"No need. I already know what you are going to say."
"And what was I going to say?"
"You and Mom are breaking up."
It hurt Fitz to hear her say it. It made it that much more real. He put his hand on her back, gently. "Can you look at me?"
Karen turned around with red eyes. She sat up and crossed her legs. She sniffled softly, making Fitz reach for his handkerchief.
"How did you know?"
"I heard you two fighting when I came home early from Jessica's sleepover. I just didn't want to enter the house yet."
"I'm so sorry you had to hear that."
"Mom cheated on you."
"Yes." Fitz sighed. "But that doesn't change the fact that she loves you."
"She is a whore."
"Karen," Fitz was stern. "Don't talk about your mother like that."
Karen was silent for a moment, sniffling. "You are going to move out of the house, aren't you?"
"We haven't worked out the details yet."
"I want to live with you." Karen said.
"Whatever we decide will be best for you and Jerry."
"It isn't fair."
"I know, I know." Fitz pulled her into a hug. He didn't care that her tears were soaking through his shirt. He calmed her, rubbing her back softly as she cried into him. She was still small enough to seem like a child in his arms, even though he knew she was about to be a woman. "The important thing is that your mother and I love you very much. Neither of us is going anywhere."
Karen's door slightly opened. Fitz looked up to see Mellie enter with her hand over her heart. Fitz gave her the wordless communication that he was handling it. She backed away before he could see the tears in her eyes. A couple of moments later, he hadn't moved, but he heard her car pull out of the driveway.
/
PRESENT DAY
After breakfast, Olivia went to go buy a swimsuit and Fitz got Alex ready to go to the beach. Alex was now old enough to run up and down the beach as long as they kept their eye on her. She was a natural swimmer, but the pacific waves were too strong. Olivia made sure to be within reach of her when they were playing in the water.
"Alright, baby." Olivia took her hand, walking back to where Fitz was guarding their stuff. "Time for more sunscreen."
"No." Alex protested. "I don't like sunscreen. It is sticky."
"I know." Olivia ignored her pulling back on her hand. "But you have to protect your skin."
"I can't sunburn."
"Sunscreen protects your skin from other stuff too." Olivia sat down on their towel next to Fitz. She began to rub the sunscreen into Alex's skin. "If you don't wear sunscreen, your skin will get wrinkly like Daddy's."
Alex giggled at that as Fitz feigned insult. After Olivia had successfully covered her in sunscreen, she told Alex to play in the sand so that the sunscreen could soak in. Fitz was still quiet for most of the day. Olivia knew that he had so much on his mind, and she wanted to respect that.
"Alex, stay away from that seaweed." Olivia called, hoping that Alex would put the gross seaweed back on the beach. Olivia leaned back on her elbow, still watching Alex. She looked over to see Fitz staring at her stomach.
"You are not showing yet."
"I know." She was going to enjoy wearing a bikini today, because she knew in a few weeks her body would start to change noticeably.
"When do you think it happened?"
"I don't know…" Olivia admitted. "I probably mixed up my birth control days with all of my traveling. But I think we gave it many opportunities to fail."
"Yeah." He chuckled. The first laugh directed at her all day. He reached over, putting his hand on her lower abdomen. "We sure did."
"Daddy, Daddy!" Alex screamed, running up with handfuls of sand. "Will you turn me into a sand mermaid princess?"
"Well, you are already a princess. I can try the sand mermaid part."
Soooo, this chapter was actually like 14,000 words, so I had to break it down into two. The next chapter will pick up pretty close to where this one ends.
I will say that some of y'all predicted Daniel from the second I introduced him to the story. Y'all psychic. Anyways, let me know what you think below! Thanks for the reviews and support. It shouldn't be too long until the next installment.