Harry Potter and All Good Things Come to an End

It had been 6 months since Harry had been in contact with any human or magical creature. After his fiasco in the Forbidden Forest, he had decided to flee the country for real. He was now hidden in a cave in New Zealand, living off of beetles and dirt. His body had grown accustomed to the lack of water and sunlight, so he was able to survive –

and plus, he was magical! So he would've been able to survive anyways.

One morning, Harry decided that it was time to leave the cave once and for all. It was a tearful goodbye, but Harry knew that it was for the best. He kissed each rock wall chastely, knowing that he would never see them again.

"Goodbye," said Harry.

"Goodbye, my friend," the cave responded, voice thick with tears.

Harry decided to return to Hogwarts in disguise – he confidently dawned a red wig, blue contacts, and stilts. Charming freckles onto his face, he hopped onto his Nimbus 1000000 and flew off towards the castle in which he had grown up.

Upon reaching Hogwarts grounds, Harry tried to plan an impressive entrance. He decided that crashing through the Great Hall's charmed, glass ceiling would suffice. As he flew through the shattering glass, he screeched a cry of triumph and landed on the Hufflepuff table.

He happened to land right into Ernie Macmillian's (an old BF of his) scrambled eggs. After a soulful stare into Harry's eyes, Ernie disgustedly asked, "who the bloody hell are you?!"

"I'm Ha- Ron Weasley," Harry responded, catching himself just in time. He was slightly saddened that good ol' Ern didn't realize who he truly was.

"But… Ron Weasley is right over there!" Ernie pointed, perplexed.

Harry made his way, nervously, over to the Gryff's table.

"Ron? It's me,.. er… you. From the future," Harry lied slickly.

"What the eff?" asked Ron, looking Harry up and down, "that's how I'll look when I'm an adult?"

"Actually I'm you in like… two months," Harry specified, sweating.

"Oh, cool. Nice to meet you," cried Ron, shaking Harry's hand furiously.

"No, nice to meet… ME!" Harry said, giggling. His plan was going to work after all!

Ron grinned widely and led his future self up to the Gryffindor Tower. When they arrived in the common room, Ron pointed to a couch and said, "you can sleep over there…"

Harry, highly affronted as he had never slept somewhere more uncomfortable in his life, barked out, "There!? You want me to sleep… THERE? Come on, mate, we're the same person, why not share your bed?"

Ron blushed, but obliged. "Fine, as long as you don't try anything funny."

Harry, delighted, replied, "Alright, no funny business!"

They made their way up the musical stairs to the dormitory. Harry wondered when those stairs had been installed. He couldn't help but try them out a few times, hopping out the tune of "Hedwig's Theme."

"Stop that!" Ron screeched, angrily slapping 'himself' upside the head.

"Fine," Harry pouted but followed his double to the bed that they were to share tonight. "And for many nights to come…" Harry whispered to himself.

"What?" Ron asked curiously, though he had heard every word and he likied.

"Oh, nothing…" Harry replied.

"Alright…" said Ron, "well, could you turn around while I change?"

"What the?! We're the same person and you care about me seeing you in your briefs?!"

"Actually… I sleep in the nude, usually. But I guess you're right, briefs are more appropriate considering our situation."

Harry mentally cursed himself for opening his big, fat mouth.

As they crawled into bed, Ron in his briefs and Harry in nothing at all, they drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

At midnight, Harry awoke to dear Hedwig's spirit hooting somewhere near her grave outside.

"Damn pigeon…" Harry cursed his dead owl.

While he was awake and Ron was still asleep, Harry decided to get something off of his chest. "It's actually me… Harry James Potter. Not you," he said into Ron's ear.

"I've known all along," Ron whispered back.

So he was awake all along! Harry jumped out of his skin, howling like a mad cow.

"How did you know?" Harry asked.

"Your red hair… your blue eyes… it HAD to be you," Ron smiled at his best friend and once almost-lover.

"Cool," Harry said awkwardly, casting his eyes downwardly like the 13 year old girl he used to be.

Ron said, "you remember the dream I had so many months ago?"

"Yea…" Harry said, confused as to why Ron was mentioning this now.

"Well… I love you, Harry. I love you," Ron whispered gently, removing Harry's blue contact lenses, red wig, and stilts.

"I love you too, Ron. Always have, always will," Harry responded tearfully.

"Now it's my turn to say cool…" Ron trailed off, eyes twinkling, "cool."

The two boys kissed passionately, and lived together at Hogwarts forever, as Dumbledore had passed away in Harry's absence and left the castle to him.

-END-