i know this story's not finished yet but i've been writing a NEW Dean Ambrose fanfic and if you haven't checked it out yet, check it out NOW!
it's titled, 'KISMET,' and trust me when i tell you that it's not like the many Dean Ambrose fanfic around.
it's a humorous/emotional/dramatic/suspenseful/sad/happy/engaging/romantic story about cancer in celebration of the The Fault in Our Stars. I honestly enjoyed writing it more than anything I've ever written so please, check it out.
and while you're still reading about Jon and Coco, thank you soooo much & don't forget to REVIEW/FOLLOW/FAVOURITE!
I entered the quiet home alone. Lights illuminated the living room when I flicked the light switch open as I shut the door behind me. I looked around and felt nostalgic, images of Oscar with the memories of him in this apartment took over me, it invaded my system and threatened to further break my already shattered self. Just 6 days after he left my care, I lived my life waking up in tears and falling asleep in tears. Even Jon's charming smile, caring actions and usual flirty teasing that would always leave me with a blush on my face no longer affected on me. I've become numb after Oscar left my life, numb to everything except for grief. In a miserable attempt to get my life on track, I have arranged to return back to studying, determined to finish my extended one year doing law. The news pleased my parents, particularly Mom but unbeknownst to them, I still have contact with Grampa.
I sat quietly on the gloomy couch, missing Oscar's company, the faint scent of his baby shampoo drifted about in the air. I can hear him sometimes, his familiar voice that would demand that he's hungy and somehow it left me wondering how he's doing. He's probably in Canada now, under his new parents' care. Is he happy? Is he well looked after?
The loud creak of the door earned my attention as I watched Jon enter my apartment, dressed ever so casual in his Jon-attire consisting of his faded jeans, black shoes and a leather jacket concealing his shirt. I looked at him without feeling anything. The affection and lovestruckness I used to feel had been eaten up by grief. He shut the door behind him loudly and approached me. I rose up from my seat, about to avoid him but he had grabbed my arm and held me suspended before I could even escape. He spun me around, it forced me to face him, face to face, we looked at each other. I looked up at his athletic 6 foot 4 form and wondered to myself, where did my feelings for Jon went? I used to melt whenever I look at him and I would always wonder to myself how I even managed to score a man way out of my league. What the hell happened to me?
I looked closely at his face and took notice of the green bruise under his left eye, it left me wondering whether tonight had been the night where he was beaten to pulp, it probably was. I searched for his eyes, his baby blue eyes no longer has that familiar sparkle, instead, they glared at me, it revealed a whole different feeling that was not love.
'Jon,' I began as he reached for my shirt, he tore the buttoned-up shirt off me with sheer force, it caused a couple of the buttons to rip out and as result, broke my shirt. His behaviour shocked me, it seemed like the beast had been unleashed.
He didn't uttered a word as he pinned me against the closest wall. He pressed his body hard against mine and held my head suspended with his hands only to kiss me harshly, so harshly it hurt. There was no love, no affection, no emotions but the underlying need to satisfy the lust within him. With all the strength I have, I tried to push him away but Jon was a strong man, the more I struggled, the more it seemed to arouse him.
He told me he's not sadistic but as the night progressed, I saw the Jon whom his friends had warned me about. The beast that I recalled I have been warned about was out on the loose for tonight and the thing that frightened me the most was the fact that there wasn't any alcohol on his breath, it's not his drunkenness that's making him do all this. Would it make me masochistic because I found pleasure and satisfaction from the fear he caused, from the pain he inflicted as he bit onto my flesh, slapped my sensitive flesh repetitively and treated my body roughly? Or would it just be because I found distraction from my grief as result of the pain he gave me alongside pleasure?
Jon and I had sex like wild teenagers that night. It wasn't passionate, it lacked that but it relieved me from every thought and grief I have. He banged me hard, he called me his slut after every rough thrust as I moaned for him to give me his wrath some more.
My body trembled from the sensation, it stung from the pain ever present here and there and my entire form, mind, body and soul felt exhausted as I lie on the bed quietly with Jon fast asleep next to me, his bare back faced me. The moonlight crept , it illuminated us as I gloomily stared at Jon's bare back that faced me, absent-mindedly, I took notice of the red lines caused by my nails. It had been like this since Oscar left our lives. We would see each other every night...only to fuck. Then, one of us would leave the bed early. Gone was the love and affection and the feeling similar to love-struck teenagers that we used to share.
I quietly reached for Jon's shoulder and ran my fingers through his smooth skin, skin that managed to remain perfect despite what they encounter on a weekly basis whenever he's on the ring. I know he hasn't uttered a word about it but he's obviously disappointed with my poor choice and decision to continue law, which I made the day after Oscar left. He looked at me that night with all the love in his eyes diminishing and I guess he realised that night how different we really were.
I am, after all, as I now realised, still a puppet controlled by my parents.
I opened my eyes to be welcomed by the blinding sunlight that crept through the cracks of the blinds. It was quiet, as it had always been over the week since there's no Oscar who would nag us that he's hungy. Sleepily, I rolled over on the other side of the bed to see that it's empty, but for a change I woke up and saw that Jon was still around. He was getting dressed, his back faced me as he put on his faded pair of jeans, the sound of the metal buckle of his belt disturbed the silence. Tired from the little amount of sleep I had last night, I got up from the bed, the sheets rustled. Instantly it earned his attention as he turned to look at me.
Messy hair pushed back, half naked body that showed off the great, athletic physique of his torso, he was a perfect specimen. 'Good morning,' I greeted him quietly while I reached for my own clothes on a heap on the floor, Jon's eyes followed my movement. He didn't reply, instead, he merely turned away.
'I am so fucking sick of this shit!' he raised his voice, his back still faced me as he yelled. He turned to look at me after the words left his lips, his blue eyes flashed with anger, his face did not masked the frustration that was obvious beneath it. 'What happened to you Coco? What happened to us?' he asked me, the hurt on his voice was obvious, I turned away, I didn't know how to answer that demanding question of his'.
Like a child, he yelled out his frustrations, he muttered colourful curse words under his breath. I've always been aware of the existence of Jon's dark side but had never imagined the beast to be this bad when unleashed. He approached me as he glared at me with his cold blue eyes.
'I am so fucking sick of it, Coco,' he repeated himself, 'I'm sick of coming to you every night, only for a good fuck. What happened to us? Give me a decent fucking explanation because I fucking need one right now!' he yelled at my face, like a man out of control, because he probably lost all the control and patience he has left. I was pinned against the wall, sandwiched between the angry Jon and the wall. He looked into my eyes deeply in search for an answer but no words came out of my mouth to confirm it or to answer his demands.
Obviously frustrated, he held onto the sanity he has left, to my relief. He leaned over me while he inhaled my scent, his hands remained on my shoulders and held me suspended with a tight grip. 'What happened to us?' he repeated that question once more as he wondered more to himself what happened. 'There used to be love between us, Coco. That was the sole reason I can tolerate you than any other woman. For fuck's sake, I can go out every night, pick up a girl from the local strip club and bang her all night long because that's what I do! But since you came into my life, I thought, hey, she's different, she looks at me a different way than the way others do, maybe she'll be the one,' Jon told me, the hurt in his eyes killed me slowly. His words stung, have I hurt him that significantly? How?
'I'm sorry Jon,' I looked away from him, ashamed, it was all I could say.
'You should be fucking sorry!' he screamed at my face, his control over the sanity he has left was long gone. 'I fucking loved you, Coco, I still do,' he told me while he looked deep into my eyes as he yelled those words at my face, 'but lately, I've been coming home to you and you're distant, we fuck but we don't make love like we used to, we talk but we don't smile at each other anymore. I hate that. I thought you'd be fucking different but you're just like everybody else, you're selfish, just like how those women had been, just like how my motherfucking mother had been,' he muttered. He punched the wall next to me in great anger, I flinched, after expecting that it was me he was going to attack but he seemed unaffected by the pain it caused his hand.
'I'm sorry I disappointed you Jon, that's what I'm best at if you haven't figured it out yet, disappointing people. I disappointed my parents, I disappointed myself, I disappointed Oscar and now, I'm disappointing you,' I looked at his face sadly. I blamed myself for causing all this, Jon doesn't deserve this. Weakly, I reached for his cheeks with my trembling hands but he moved away and dodged my touch.
'Oscar,' like a lunatic, he looked at me with his blue eyes wide. 'It's him isn't it? Ever since you lost him, you've been like this. What about me, Coco, don't you love me too? Do I even matter to you? Would it break that little heart of yours if I fucking leave you right now?' frustrated, he asked me, he yelled at my face, his heavy breathing told me that he's more than angry now.
'Oscar was my everything, Jon. I sacrificed everything I have for that boy. My studies, my time, my energy and my social life, all of that went to Oscar. Imagine yourself in my shoes, you'd feel the same too, you'd be heartbroken when the child you held in your arms since day one had been taken away from you,' I told him, l tried to be reasonable, I tried to tell him what has been going through my head.
'And how about me? What am I to you, Coco?' he asked me as he shook my shoulders violently, I tried to push him away but he was stronger. 'Am I just a fling to you, Coco?' Was he? I lowered my gaze, not knowing or wanting how to reply. Jon sighed in frustration as he finally let go of me, he turned away, his back facing me. 'I see you're just like them, like a leech, you take what you can until there's nothing left to take. I really thought you'd be the one, Coco, you were everything I wanted and needed but my judgement had been fucking wrong, I'm an idiot,' I heard Jon mutter under his breath, he ran a hand through his hair as an act of frustration, he was beyond disappointed and I hated myself for it. I watched him go with tears in my eyes, now realising that Jon too has left me.