As painful as it was to leave Quantico, James, and her friends there was no doubt in Penelope's mind that it was the right thing to do. Exhausted Penelope left her boxes in the corner and collapsed on her couch. They had arrived the night before and after unloading the car the three of them ordered Chinese and watched a DVD while they ate and talked.
Earlier that morning Penelope went for a long run in Central Park and sat in the shower for a good half hour before slipping into her jeans and sweater. With a book in hand she was ready to spend the day reading.
A knock on her door woke her from her trance as she reluctantly rolled off her comfortable couch to answer the door, thinking it was Donnie who promised to drop off her dry cleaning that she forgot in his car. She contemplated on what to do for lunch as she opened the door. Penelope dropped her book as she came face to face with Derek.
"What
are you doing here?" she stammered.
"You didn't even say
goodbye P. You hate me that much?" Penelope sighed.
"I
don't hate you Dirk, you frustrate me to no end, you make me mad, but
I've never hated you. Come in," she said ushering him into her
humble abode. With the exception of the neatly stacked boxes in the
corner he saw that Penelope was completely moved in. Her one bedroom
apartment was completely lived in with little trinkets, photos and
frames that made it Penelope. There was a collection of framed
artwork that he recognised as his sons on the feature wall behind the
TV.
"Can I get you a drink?" she offered as he shook
his head.
"I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. After our
conversation at the hospital there didn't seem to be a point. We
would only end up going in circles Derek. All that needed to be said,
was said."
"And this?" he said hurt holding up the
necklace in his hand. Penelope flinched. She loved that cross, she
never took it off, a fact they were both aware of.
"It hurt
too much to keep it."
"So you gave it all back? Like
you didn't want to keep any part of it at all. Like it meant nothing
at all? Pen you put it in a box,"
"I just couldn't be
surrounded by reminders, it was hard enough without them, I don't
need them to remember you or us. Derek my whole world revolved around
you for years, do you honestly think I need stuffed animals, and
trinkets to remember you by?"
"P, you were wrong and
you'll have to let me finish. You had your say, let me have mine."
Penelope merely nodded knowing saying No was not an option.
"You
and I have been best friends for what six years?"
"More or
less." She answered realizing that perhaps it was a rhetorical
question.
"From the moment I called you Gomez, we have been
friends. We had this amazing rapport, we clicked and just got each
other. You had and have this innate ability to read me and see right
through me. No one has ever been able to do that, my mother at times,
but even then few and far between, not even my sisters, past
relationships, no one. It made you invaluable, I knew there was no
other person in this world like you. So I protected it, I put you on
this shelf of untouchable, for the fear of losing it was
inconceivable. Yes, I admit that I have never considered and I know
that was hurtful to you, but it's not for the reasons you think.
It's not because I don't find you attractive, or I've never
felt that kind of attraction to you. I'm a man Penelope and you're
beautiful." Penelope rolled her eyes involuntarily,
"Don't
P, hear me out. Don't project your warped sense of self on me and
just hear what I'm saying."
"Fine, go onā¦" Penelope
grumbled. Derek realized he could have worded it better but thankful
it worked.
"You're amazing P, you're beautiful, you're
smart, and you're the most compassionate person I know. You have
the biggest heart known to man, and I have been lucky enough to be in
the front row of your life. Sharing my every day with you has meant
the world to me, and selfishly, I never wanted to change that. So I
boxed you in, held you up on a pedestal. I called you Goddess, and
meant it in every way possible. I never considered an US, because I
couldn't see what you would want in me. I'm a commitment phobic
player who has had a past. I never thought of you that way because I
have always believed you deserve better. I've never had a long term
relationship because there hasn't been anyone that I've wanted to
spend my life time with, so I go on date after date looking for the
one, and what I've come to realize is that I've been a blind
moron, because she's been standing beside me for years. It's you
P, it's always been you and I am sorry it took so long for me to
realize." Penelope was in a state of shock, his face and his eyes
vouched for his sincerity she knew that despite the time it took for
him to realize it, he felt it. Yet it wasn't that easy to be elated
to hear the words she had waited to hear for far too long.
"Derek,
I don't quite know what to say here, or how to feel. I mean, had I
heard this eight months ago, totally different story, but now, all
these months later, and being away, it's just not that simple. I
have a whole life finally outside the realms of this world that we
had managed to create and live in. I finally know who I am, and I
actually like who I am, which was never your fault. You were such an
easy target to blame for my insecurities, and how did you put it, my
warped sense of self. You may have thought, or even think that I am
some fabulous person, but I have never seen that person you described
earlier, until recently. Being here, has totally taught me to see
myself differently. To see past what I can see. It's not just about
loving you anymore Derek. I have loved you for as long as I can
remember, and quite frankly the idea of going back to that scares me.
Loving you scares me." She said softly and honestly looking into
his eyes allowing him to see her vulnerability. Derek tucked a lose
strand of hair that fell out of her ponytail behind her ear and held
her face gently in his hand, looking right into her eyes.
"I
just want a chance P. I'm not asking you to move back to Quantico,
to give up the life you've made here. I'm not even asking you to
go back as we once were. What I am asking for is a chance to get to
know this new part of your life, for us to start from the beginning,
to get to know each other again. No boundaries, no filters, complete
honesty. We give this a fair go. If it doesn't work, at least we
were willing to give it a chance. I want to be a part of your every
day world and I want you to be a part of mine. If it means we're
doing it by weekend visits, daily phone calls, Skype and text
messages, so be it. I'm willing to do that, I want you to want that
too. I want to know that you want this as much as I do that you're
willing to give this a go, that despite how scared you are, you're
going to gamble. P, what do we have to lose? I've already lived
through the worst months of my life at the thought of losing you.
Please P, let's give this a go." Tears began to roll down her
cheeks as Derek brought his forehead cupping her face with both
hands.
"Please P." he pleaded eyes boring to hers.
"Damn
you Derek Morgan." She muttered as he chuckled hoping that he had
broken her resolve,
"Does that mean you're willing to do this
with me?" he asked.
"Yes, but be warned. It's not going to
be easy, and I will more than likely pick a fight every chance I
get."
"I'm up for the challenge. Permission to hug you."
He requested with that famous Derek Morgan smile that always made her
knees weak. Penelope rolled her eyes,
"Permission denied. I
know your moves Dirk." Penelope answered with a chuckle getting up
from the couch.
"Ouch," Derek replied with a laugh, just as
he was about to plead his case a knock came on the door.
"Your
dry cleaning my lady." Flack greeted as she opened the door.
"Hey
Don, thank you so much! As you would notice you are carrying my work
appropriate attire. Without it I would have to go to work in jeans."
Penelope said as she hugged him hello, not at all oblivious to the
web of jealousy that she knew Derek was weaving from her couch.
"Well there is your jogging outfit that we all love."
"Very
funny Flack. Come in for a moment, I want to introduce you to a
friend of mine." Doing as he was told Flack came in and hung up
Penelope's dry cleaning in her closet. Derek had noted that Flack
knew exactly where he was going and there was a sense of
comfortableness he exuded as he confidently strolled to where Derek
was holding his hand out.
"Donnie
Flack, NYPD."
"Derek Morgan, BAU."
"The famous Derek
Morgan?" Donnie asked with his eyebrows raised. Penelope came from
behind Donnie and gave the back of his head a light tap.
"You're
obnoxious and you may now leave." Derek stifled a laugh as Donnie
rubbed the back of his head.
"What?"
"I'll see you
tomorrow Don, same time, same place. If you're thinking of what I
think you are thinking, you can forget it. I am turning my phone off,
and you and Danny can rot."
"Aww Pen, I am hurt."
"You'll
live my friend. Now get out of my apartment." Donnie grinned and
dropped a kiss on Penelope's cheek before giving Derek a quick
wave. Just as she had locked her door her phone began to ring,
"Unbelievableā¦" she muttered good naturedly as she grabbed
the phone and turned it off without answering.
