Chapter 21

Recovery

A/N: For my big sister Aggy

Sometimes, dead is bettah: - Jud Crandall, Pet Sematary

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is not mine.

"I don't care if he is just out of surgery – I will see him now." Hotch flashed his badge at the hospital staff.

"Agent – uh – Hotchner, I really don't think you are aware of how sick Flanders is."

Hotch pushed a stray bit of hair off his face. "Believe me when I tell you that he is far sicker than you will ever realise. I will see him now."

The staff member in charge shook her head again. "He is sleeping. He has just come up from surgery again and to be honest we really don't know if he is going to recover fully."

"That's fine. I will just sit by his bed and wait. Where is he?"

"Agent Hotchner is this man dangerous? Do we need to guard him or ourselves?"

"He is a very important witness. You will let me see him now." His voice was getting harder and the words coming out sharper.

The nurse raised an eyebrow at him. "Please don't try to awaken him. He needs to recover in his own time. They lost him a few times on the table. How well he is going to heal from the massive blood loss is unknown."

Hotch nodded. "The room number please."

The nurse turned her back on him. "This way."

It wasn't what Hotch had expected. He had entered the room so full of anger that he thought he would probably have to be restrained and asked to leave, but seeing him like that was really enough to satisfy Hotch for now.

Flanders was restrained. Straps on both wrists and on his ankles. There was also one across his chest and pelvic area. He was laying completely motionless with his eyes closed and wearing dark blue hospital pyjamas. He had been washed. His hair was clean. The bandages and the brace holding his hand in place looked awkward and painful. He also had something strapped to his lower leg and foot keeping the lacerated ankle in place. There were drips and tubes passing both in and out of him and monitors stuck to his chest.

He was breathing deeply with a tube delivering oxygen across his face and to his nose. He didn't look like the person he had known. He didn't look like the murdering serial killer and likely cannibal Hotch knew he was. In fact Hotch thought he looked small and insignificant – delicate maybe and definitely pretty. An almost feminine face. He walked closer to him and scratched at his neck. They needed him. They needed him to find Reid but he could see now that they were going to have to wait.

At least an hour.

He hadn't realised that someone had joined him standing looking and also saying nothing. Rossi finally spoke. "We need to give him a chance to help us."

Aaron spoke without looking at Dave. "He is a murderer."

"And we need to find Reid and then we need to find out why."

Now Aaron turned to Rossi. "Why?"

"Why Flanders is what he is. I would like to do a paper on him. He interests me. I want to get to know him better."

Hotch turned back to look at the thing on the bed. "Interests you beyond getting him sent to trial? Be careful Dave – he has a way of twisting himself into peoples minds. Prentiss being his latest victim. Just be aware."

Rossi nodded. "Do we know how long he will be like this?"

A shake of the head from Hotch. "No – but I am happy to wait until he does. Every second he is sleeping is a second further from finding Reid. We need him up and with as soon as possible and yes I know that he has just come out of surgery Dave, but right now Reid is more important to me than if I upset the staff here by insisting on Flanders help. Every moment he is laying there……"

A hand rested on Hotch's arm. "Sit and wait then. I'll get you a coffee."

Silently Hotch went and sat on the chair near to the bed. He could hear a clock ticking on the wall and the heavy breathing of Floyd over the gentle bleeps of the heart monitor the other side of the bed. Hotch found himself staring at him. He didn't want to. He wanted to look at anything but the thing in the bed but his eyes were constantly drawn back to him and more and more questions filled his mind the longer he watched him for.

-o-o-o-

He could hear them talking. He could hear Hotch's breathing. Why couldn't they just leave him alone. He had done what was asked of him. He was here wasn't he? Not walking away as he could have done. Not back where he could have been and they still moan and niggle on at him. Never any rest. Never any peace from these people. Floyd knew Rossi would be back with coffee probably a newspaper – the man had a thing for news papers.

And so he watched swirling patterns in his mind and imagined what it would have been like to have been able to walk across that river.

The ice cold water on his feet and feeling the shiny pebbles beneath his toes and feeling that huge weight he carried around with him gone at last – well at least depleted enough to be able to move.

He thought of the smells of the forest and the sounds of the leaves and he needed it so much that he could feel a scream building up inside of him. He gave it up. His one chance he had been given in eons – he gave it up for Spencer.

Right in the back of his mind where he was sitting against a tree and smoking and feeling finally that he was at home – he could hear the disturbance of Rossi talking again to Hotch. He wouldn't stay. Rossi would go and leave Hotchner there – he knew him that well.

Floyd waited in his mind under the tree for the sound of the distant door to close and for the first rustlings of the news paper before he opened his eyes.

"I'm awake." He mumbled to the ceiling. He listened to the sound of the paper being folded and the rustling of Hotch changing position on the chair he was sitting on.

"Would you like some water?"

"If a smoke is out of the question." He turned his head to look at Hotch who was beginning to stand so he could reach the small cupboard with a beaker of water on it.

"Don't drink too much, it will make you sick." Hotch placed the straw in position so Floyd could sip up some liquid into his mouth.

He moved his head back again and pulled at the restraints. "They tied me down. Your orders?"

Aaron frowned. "No – you reacted strangely to the anaesthetic. You had some nasty seizures. The restraints are for your safety – not ours."

"I see and so you will be more than happy to release them."

"Flanders, I would like nothing more than to release them and remove you from this place but they are worried about damage done during your – episodes. They lost you a few times on the table. They considered amputation. You are fortunate to still be here. We need you. I don't like you Flanders and you would be the last person I would ask for help but you need to tell us where we can find Reid."

"I can't just 'tell' you. I need to be able to track him and that isn't going to happen if I am strapped to a bed." Floyd turned his head to look at Hotch again. "I should tell you that I am nor fortunate to be here. I chose this…I am here to help Reid. That's all. My only purpose. Undo the straps."

"They are monitoring you."

"I wish to discharge myself. Unless you are going to arrest me for something, in which case I wont be able to find Spencer for you and all of this – this – everything is pointless."

"Your heart kept stopping in surgery and you still haven't explained what happened to your wrist and foot."

Floyd wriggled his foot. "Someone sliced my tendon with a pocket knife…My wrist – I don't know. Don't remember much about it. I wish to discharge myself my heart is fine."

"They will want to check for brain damage."

"They will find a lot, but nothing to do with my heart. I wish to discharge myself."

"I heard you and as much as I need you on your feet and cooperating, I am unable to help you out. You need to be monitored properly. I need you alive." Hotch sat back down again.

"My nose itches. Agent Aaron Hotchner – I wish to be discharged. I need to find Spencer. Un-strap my arm so I can at least scratch myself. You say this is for my benefit? It doesn't feel very beneficial."

Again Hotch stood. "I should get someone to check up on you anyway." He avoided looking at Floyd again and turned to leave the room.

"Agent Aaron Hotchner – remember – I can't help Spencer if I am tied to a bed." He saw the slight shift in Hotch's shoulders but nothing was said back. Floyd stared at the ceiling again and waited. It wasn't long though. New voices. More than one.

"Ah you are awake. How are you feeling?"

Floyd looked at the doctor by his bed. "Like an elephant walked over me. But I will survive. I want to discharge myself."

"You are awake much sooner than we thought you would be."

"I want to discharge myself. Take the fucking straps off and let me go."

Ignored

"We need to do some simple tests on you. And I need to check up on your hand."

Floyd looked away. "Just undo the damned straps so I can go and do what I came back to do."

"We are very sorry that there are a lot of tests we would like to carry out first."

"Fuck them! I need to get out of here."

The doctor glanced over at Hotch who was standing near the door with Rossi.

"Can I at least look at your hand? I still don't know if the surgery will work. I would like you to stay here so if there are any more complications you are on site. We nearly lost you."

"Well you didn't. You did a fine job….check on it then – then discharge me."

The restraint on his left wrist was released and his arm placed so they could look at his fingers. Faces pulled. "I just need to see if you can feel this."

Floyd frowned. "Feel what?"

Was all the answer they needed really.

"I think you need more tests." And a tutting sound.

Floyd turned his head to look over at Rossi and Hotchner. "Tell them. I need to go."

Hotch was standing with his arms crossed watching what was going on.

"Sir." The doctor spoke. "You have had two very nasty surgeries done on you. I think it would be very foolish at this point to discharge yourself and you wont be walking on that foot for a while. Not unless you wish to cripple yourself."

"Tell them to get my papers – Rossi." Dave nodded at him and putting an arm on Hotch's left the room.

-o-o-o-

It seemed to take them forever to come to the decision to finally let him go. His own clothes were in a bin bag ready to throw away but he insisted on putting them back on.

He swore and cursed his foot brace which he eventually undid and put to one side so he could get his jeans on. He did however put it back on again afterwards. The doctors watched in dismay as he hobbled around with one arm held tightly to him in a sling and his foot being moved around in ways they considered worrisome.

"You shouldn't be doing that."

They kept saying. He ignored them.

"Who washed my hair?" Was about the only answer they got…and that was a question they didn't bother answering. He signed all papers needed to let him leave with a promise that if his fingers turned blue – or black – or fell off – he would be back. Probably to kill them, but he didn't add that.

They went down to the SUV with Floyd being half supported by Rossi. Floyd was a long way from impressed by this but he didn't want to mess up too much before he got there…he had a feeling he was going to have to hurt some people.

They stood in the parking lot. "I need to sit in the front. Cant possibly even begin to track from the back….too many smells." Rossi opened the door for him but Floyd just stood and rested his hands on the roof of the car. "He's not here. I mean in this town. We need to go to where you last saw him." Hotch nodded.

"I will tell Morgan to meet us there. It's a long drive. You might be better off in the back and trying to sleep."

Floyd slid onto the front passenger seat. "I can sleep here if I need. Did one of you get my pain killers?"

Rossi held up a bottle. "I have them…you're not due one yet – sit back and relax and try wriggling your fingers."

For Hotch they couldn't get there fast enough. All of his attention was on getting there as quickly and safely as they could. For Floyd it was a time to bitch and moan and nag and for Rossi it was a time to listen to the bitching and try to profile this strange person who not so long ago was dying on the surgeons table and now was moaning about every damned thing there was to moan about.

It's too hot – too windy – his foot hurt – his hand was in pain – he had a headache – his nose was bleeding – he needed to relieve himself – he was thirsty, hungry, bored, tired, itchy, sore – he didn't like the freeway – he didn't like the smell of the other traffic – he wanted to smoke – he wanted a drink – no a drink, not coffee – he was uncomfortable and needed to walk for a while.

"How much further? We've been on the same road for fucking hours." And a sigh.

"I told you it was a long way."

Another sigh. "Well I'm picking up nothing, just so as you know. I'm going to sleep. Someone recline this for me, I can't do shit with my hand like this."

Rossi leaned forward and cranked the seat back a bit. "I think sleeping would be good. Any luck with your fingers?"

Floyd looked down at the bluish coloured numb things sticking out of the end of the brace. "They are fine." He closed his eyes but he would be sleeping. He had slept enough in the past few days to take him through another lifetime. For now he rested and contemplated on the different ways he was going to have Reid when he got him alone. A funny twisting in his stomach at the thought of the smells and feels of that treasure of his. He watched the patterns behind his eyes and dreamed awake of all the pleasures of the flesh he was going to dip into.

Hotch was tired and though Dave had asked if he wanted to take over and drive Hotch wanted to do this. This way it felt as though he was doing something – he wouldn't be able to sit in the back and just relax the way Dave seemed to be, though really Aaron knew that Dave was thinking of the case of Reid and of Floyd and what actual help he was going to be.

When they pulled up at the side of the road Floyd turned his head and looked at Hotch. " A bit further."

"This is the last known location."

"Maybe, but he's not here now….a bit further. North. He's to the north and not on ground level. I need to get out and track properly if you want more."

Hotch nodded and looked over at his shoulder at Dave. "I'll call Morgan." Rossi said and got a nod from Hotch who opened the car door and moved around to the other side to help Floyd out. As he put his hand on the car door handle he got a nasty static shock and snapped his hand back. Floyd opened the door with his good hand and unsnapped the seat restraint. Rossi was talking to Morgan on the phone and Hotch helped Floyd get out of the car.

His foot hurt like it was on fire but he bit down on his bottom lip and smiled. "I need to kneel."

Aaron helped him to move down so he could put his fingers to the surface of the sidewalk. He watched a frown cross his face and watched Floyd look around and repeat the action.

"He's up. Not ground level and not basement. He's up high somewhere." Floyd looked up and over to the north of the large town or small city. "To the north." He carefully stood up again and manoeuvred back into the car. Rossi had finished on the phone.

"Morgan is meeting us here in ten. Do we have a location?"

"He's up high and to the north – is all I can tell you until we get closer."

"Does anyone need anything before we carry on?"

Shakes of heads from the other's who just wanted to get this done and get Reid out of wherever he was.

Floyd looked over at Hotch. "So – Agent Aaron Hotchner – I know you have some sort of idea what is going on – where he is – when are you going to tell me?"

Hotch held onto the steering wheel tightly. It gave his hands something to do even though they weren't moving. "It is on a needs to know basis Flanders and you don't need that information."

"It might help you know – to know what I am going to be facing when we go to get him." Floyd was fiddling with his very dark blue fingers and frowning at them.

"There is no - we – as far as you are concerned. You are getting us to the location. You are then going to sit and wait."

"That wasn't what I was led to believe." Floyd snapped back at him.

Hotch gripped even tighter. "Then you misunderstood. You are here to show us where he is. Flanders you are crippled. You are not coming in with us."

Flanders looked at Hotch and pushed the car door open again. "You know what? I will go alone. You want my help then it's one hundred percent…otherwise you can go screw yourself."

He pushed up and stood next to the car. Hotch got out of the other side and Dave out of the back. "Get back in the car. You are here to help find Reid."

"I'm not your sodding sniffer dog and I'm not a bloody cripple!" He took a very painful step forwards….the contraption on his foot rubbed and dug into his leg and it didn't seem to be doing much of a job of holding everything in place, but he was not going to be talked to like that.

Hotch walked around to him. "Get back in the car and stop your pathetic histrionics. I am tired of you and your games. We need you to find Reid. You are injured and a civilian. We cannot take you in with us. We have no idea what we are up against. We don't know how many of them there are. We are calling in SWAT and I do not want you in the middle of a gun fight not able to move."

Floyd moved slowly around and looked at Dave. "And you are backing him up I suppose. You bastards. I can't believe I fell for this."

Dave moved forwards and put and hand on Flanders good arm. "It wasn't a trick I thought you understood you were just here to guide us. We can't risk you getting killed in there."

"Oh like you care. It would make your bloody day to see me dead!"

Hotch grabbed him and swung him back around again. "Get in the car and stop moaning. We still need your help. Morgan is here now. We can go."

Floyd got back in the car but had no intention of sitting here waiting when they went in to do whatever it was they had to do. He opened the window as the cars drove slowly away….Rossi was in the other SUV with Morgan and Floyd was very pissed off.

"Are you going to tell me anything about this place…what do you know? What's been going on?"

"It's an internet porn organisation."

Floyd filled in the blanks for himself and Hotch didn't say more.

They drove slowly across traffic lights and around a corner and then slowly down a quieter side road. A big tower block stood in front of them.

"Top floor." Was all Floyd said.

"Of here?" Hotch pulled over.

"Of here – and I'm going in too."

"I know you are. I just hope you realise that I cannot be held responsible for your safety. If I think you are going to jeopardise this mission then you will be out of the way quicker than you can blink. Do we have an understanding?"

"It would seem."

"Good. Wait here for a minute – I need to discuss our plan with the others."

It was Rossi who finally came back to the car. "SWAT first. Then us. Put this on." He handed him a flak vest. "I don't care if you think you don't need it. You can't go with us unless you have it on. No arguments. Get out I'll help you with your arm."

A nod from Floyd. Not a happy face. His hand was completely dead but his arm hurt like hell and his foot he could hardly put on the floor. "Pain killers if that's OK with you." He said to Rossi.

And now they stood and waited.

They waited for what seemed an eternity before they were given the go ahead to follow and find Reid.

-o-o-o-

They heard gun fire.

Reid was alone with Ardal and the lights had been dimmed for night time. Reid pulled on his sweatpants and Ardal his boxers and the small robe thing. Spencer then pulled on his Tshirt.

"Just sit still. Don't move. We will be fine if we don't do anything." Spencer and Ardal sat on the bed their backs against the wall and arms tightly around each other – eyes staring at the door.

After the gunfire stopped they could hear screams and shouts and the occasional pop of a small firearm going off. Doors banging open and running of feet.

When their door finally opened it wasn't what Reid had expected. He thought he was going to see their boss with a gun to finish them off with. He was sure this was the end and the fear that they would kill Ardal and he would survive was making him want to be sick, and he was definitely beginning to shake. Ardal was holding tighter so when it was Hotch who walked in with Floyd at his side his mind wasn't sure what to make of it.

Ardal kept holding tight.

"Spence." Floyd walked painfully forward trying not to show the agony he was in on his face.

Reid pulled away from Ardal but turned to him to speak first. "It's OK….stay here."

He stood and walked over to Floyd. "Floyd."

"I missed you babes." He put his good hand out towards his prize.

"Well I didn't miss you. You left remember. You rejected me and you left. What are you doing here?"

A puzzled look on Floyd's face. "I brought them to you."

"Well did it occur to you that I didn't need your help? That I could have left whenever I wanted? Did that cross your twisted little mind?"

"Spence….what's wrong?"

"I don't want you Floyd. I don't want you in my life and I don't want you touching me so put that hand down the front of your trousers if you want I really don't care. I just know I have found someone I need to be with and that isn't you, and it will never be you, and my life will never include you."

Floyd reached out again and gently touched Spencer on the arm. "I would do anything for you – you know that."

A nod. "Well go away then and I told you not to touch me."

As Floyd tightened his grip Spencer pushed him back out of the way where he stumbled into Rossi.

"Hotch. You found me. How were the videos? Have fun watching – because I am sure you like watching me in the showers back at base."

Aaron's face blanched at the words. "Reid – come with us. We have you now."

Ardal was getting up now to stand at Reid's side. "We were happy. Why did you have to come and take it from us?" Ardal spoke to Aaron.

"This made you happy? You encouraged my agent to take drugs. Reid come with me."

"You will apologise to Ardal, Hotch. That was unfair."

"Reid he has been abusing you. He has been drugging you and sexually assaulting you. You will…………….."

Reid's fist met Hotchner's mouth.

It all happened so quickly that Rossi had little time to react to it. Reid was on Aaron – a head butt to his face followed by a knee to the groin and an uppercut to the chin. Spencer moved so fast and with such coordination that Aaron had no time to react. At the same time Ardal was on Floyd again a head butt and shouting abuse. There was little Floyd could do except stumble back further into Rossi who now stood out of the way to try to disentangle Hotch and Reid.

Aaron didn't want to hurt Reid. He knew something was wrong….maybe drugs…maybe – he wasn't sure what it was but this wasn't the Reid he knew and – and – needed back….

He tried to restrain him but some how Spencer got his arm and twisted it back behind him pulling him around so his back was to him. "Reid Stop!" He shouted just before and arm wrapped around his neck and Reid wasn't playing. This hurt – Hotch kicked back, but Spencer was out of the way before he could. He tried to take a breath as black stars swam across his vision. He had wanted to be with Reid so badly it had hurt and now this? His thought processes began to slow as he started to shake. One hand on the arm Reid had around his neck squeezing as hard as he could and the other he was trying in vain to elbow Spencer off him.

Ardal was on the floor kneeling over Floyd pummelling with his fists. The two clicks from the side arms came at almost the same time.

Rossi spoke. "Both of you. Stop."

Reid felt the cold of the gun pressing to the side of his head.

"Let him go Reid. Now."

As Spencer released Hotch who began to slump to the ground he looked to see Ardal being cuffed by Morgan.

"Back off Reid. Back right away."

Rossi moved in to Hotch who was gagging and gasping for air on his knees still not sure what had happened. He had come here to rescue him…He hadn't been expecting this.

He turned to look at Reid who was standing with his arms down at his side just staring at everyone.

"I was happy! For the first time in my life I was happy!" Spencer shouted into Hotch's face.