#21

A/N: Sorry it's been a bit since I've uploaded I wasn't sure how to approach Happy finding out about the baby. Then it came to me right before I was supposed to go to an all day festival where I got so burnt that I started calling myself a Neapolitan ice cream sandwich because one part of my arm was dark like chocolate the skin under my shirt was white as vanilla and then where I was burnt I was bright as fucking strawberry. But here it is I hope you all enjoy.

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Three months that's how far along I was. It scared me to no end knowing that I was close to possibly loosing another baby, but I was beginning to have some hope that maybe I wouldn't lose this one that maybe I would be able to have a baby.

Walking into the house I smiled when I saw Vic sleeping on the couch and Mia asleep next to him. It was becoming more of a regular thing for Happy and Mia to be at the house. In an odd way we had become some sort of a family. I would have moments of regret in not telling Happy about the baby when I saw him with Mia, but then I would see Danny at work and I knew that it was for the best at the moment for our family and the precious sense of peace we had made.

Walking past them I went into the bedroom and found Happy siting on the end of the bed in a pair of dark grey sweats and a wet grey towel next to him.

"When did you and Mia get here?" I asked as I slipped off the black pumps I had worn for the day.

"Before Vic came home from school. We need to talk about a couple things little girl," he said looking up at me with dark eyes.

"What happened? I didn't get any calls from anyone today," I said feeling the dread build a pit in my stomach.

"Everyone's fine. This is about us," he said before grabbing his towel and getting up.

I wrapped my arms around myself as I watched him walk to the light blue plastic laundry basket and throw the towel in before closing the door behind me.

"First things first, Mia's Mom came by the garage today," he said walking back to the bed.

"Shit, babe why didn't you call me?" I asked as I began taking off my loose deep V neck white t-shirt.

"She wanted to see Mia. Told her no she said that she would call the cops if I didn't give her back."

"Fuck," I groaned as I leaned against the dresser in my black lace bra and light blue ripped jeans.

"I need to figure out how to keep her. Her Mom is crazy and she doesn't deserve to grow up with that shit," he said rubbing his face with both hands.

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes for a few seconds then opened them again to see Happy with his head in his hands.

"Alright I've got this, I learned a few things from Tig when I was a kid," I told him before I began taking off my pants.

"If I thought that killing her would work I would do it myself."

"Not what I'm talking about Hap. Women like her that just drop their kids for months on end with nothing, they are very easy to pay off. She's just like my Mom, that's how Tig got me. He got Clay and Gemma to help him a bit but he paid her off. It's what's best for your little girl Hap," I told him as I walked towards him.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. Just starring into each other's eyes. Leaning down I kissed the top of his head and walked back to the dresser grabbing a pair of black running shorts and a white flowy workout tank.

We stood in silence for a few minutes I had been with him long enough to know when he was thinking hard about something.

"What's got you thinking so hard big man?" I asked from my spot against the dresser.

"I found something earlier, well Mia did. She knocked over some boxes in the closet when I was getting Vic a snack."

There it was the thing that made my heart stop. It was one of two things that I had hidden in the closet and I prayed it wasn't the information Tara had given me about the baby.

"What'd she find?" I asked trying to hide the strain in my voice.

"When were you going to tell me you stopped taking your meds?" he asked standing up.

"Is this what had you thinking so hard?" I asked trying to hide the laughter that was forming.

"This is serious shit Lela."

"No it's not Hap. It doesn't matter why I stopped taking them okay? I just did now we can drop it."

"There's at least two month's worth of pills in that box Lela. I'm not coming home to a crying kid and you passed out and bleeding in the bath tub, not again."

"Fuck you. I'm not that person anymore Happy. I regret what I did every day and I hate that you had to find me like that. That I couldn't keep my shit together," I yelled at him.

"Well what the hell else am I supposed to think when I find two month's worth of pills in your damn closet like some teenage bitch?" he yelled back in a deep gravely voice.

"That I know what the fuck I'm doing. Just fucking trust me."

"Then tell me what the fuck is going on. The only time you've ever stopped taking these is when you were pregnant and you sure as hell aren't pregnant."

I couldn't help the laughter that came out and the smile that appeared on my face. There it was the little voice in my head said not to but I felt the over whelming need to make him drop the pill thing.

Sighing I looked at the floor then back at him still with a smile on my face.

"Jokes on you then big man. I am pregnant. For some god forsaken reason I got myself knocked up again and I'm a week away from when I lost the last one. So go fuck yourself," I told him before pushing past him and walking out of the room.

I made it as far as the end of the hallway leading into the living room before I felt a hand grip my arm and pull me into the bathroom.

"What the hell do you mean you're pregnant?" he growled.

"I mean I'm pregnant. If I were to pee on a stick right now it would be a big ol' positive."

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

"You want the truth?" I asked crossing my arms against my chest.

When he didn't answer I knew it was now or never,

"I didn't tell you because there's a chance the baby might not be yours. I also didn't tell you because I didn't see the point in blowing up what was left of our marriage if I lost a baby that possibly wasn't yours."

Instead of answering he punched the wall behind me then punched the bathroom mirror. I brought my hand up to my mouth as I watched him grip the counter. As much as I wanted to comfort him I knew it wasn't the time.

After a few minutes he turned on the faucet and started to wash his hand. When he winced in pain as the water hit the various cuts on his hand. Reaching around him I grabbed the bottle of hydrogen peroxide and grabbed his hand from the water.

I felt him tense up as I began to clean his hand with cotton balls.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I worked.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked.

"I needed to feel good about something, about myself I guess."

"That's my job."

"Do you know what it makes me feel like when I know you screw other woman? Not only that but they are skinny blonde girls with fake tits. I am the complete opposite of them Hap. So why them and not me? Why are you with me?" I asked him.

"Because I love you."

"I don't think you know how to Hap. As much as you might think you do. Repeatedly screwing women that are the exact opposite of me shows that in some fucked up way you don't."

"I. Love. You."

"Jesus will you stop saying that? We are lying to ourselves here Happy. I can't do that anymore, I don't know if I can do this anymore," I said dropping his hand.

"So what you want to leave?"

"I don't know Hap. I love you despite everything I love you and I love your little girl and I love this fucked up family we have. But I don't know if I can keep living in a lie."

My words just hung there in the air. I moved to sit on the floor and after a few moments Happy followed me. We sat there side by side against the cabinets.

"I think I'll go to the trailer for a bit," I finally said.

"No stay here. I still have my place."

"That's not the point of me going to the trailer. I need a place to think and to figure out what's going to happen."

"Go to my Mom's."

"She's your Mom Hap. I'm not going to stay with her while I decide if I want to stay with her son, that's a little fucked up even for us."

"We both know she likes you more than me."

Nodding my head I grabbed his injured had and placed it in my lap again. We still sat there no words spoken. Placing my head on his shoulder I felt him kiss the top of it. I smiled.