Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight characters that pop up in this story. I've just borrow them for the sake of not having to invent my own :P Although I have taken the time to come up with the original characters written.

A/N: Firstly, I think an apology is in order. I had never meant for this update to take so long but somehow days tick by, and before you know it it's been so long that you've lost that essence that caused you to start writing the story in the first place. I thought it was gone for good and that I was going to have to do the unthinkable and leave this story unfinished. However, you kept reading, and reviewing, and your patience and enthusiasm sparked my imagination all over again. So I would like to thank you, each and every one of you. This chapter was written because of you, and for you, and it has never been more true than now that if it weren't for your support these words may never have been written.

I hope you enjoy it, and I promise to never leave it so long to update again.

Happy reading.

I x

Like the last time we were here, Edward left the little cottage at dusk without me. We both knew it would attract too much attention to return together. We didn't kiss goodbye, or clutch each other in a tight embrace, instead we shared one last longing glance. It would have to be enough for now.

After Edward left, I finally paid attention to the increasing number of missed calls that flashed up on my phone. A few were from Alice, more than likely questioning why I had never returned as promised. A couple were from the Denalis who had probably called at Alice's request. They very rarely contacted me when I went away. It was as if they just knew I needed my space. Of course my disappearances didn't bother them the way it seemed to affect the Cullens. That being said the Denalis had never truly lot me . I always came back in some state or another, and I was always fine. The Cullens didn't have the same experience.

I continued to scroll down the list and dread started to set in. Aslo's name dominated and I could see that for every unanswered call it spawned two more. I had spent so long in Edward's bubble that I'd almost forgotten the mess I'd left home. A flash of Aslo's face filled my mind. How could I have kissed him? How could I have done that to our friendship, to Tanya? I had used him purely to make myself feel better, to distract me from the building feelings I had for Edward.

As I ran my thumb over his name I could almost feel his concern. How selfless he was to still worry for me despite the disregard and disrespect I had shown our friendship. As much as the thought of returning to the real world unnerved me, I owed him more than a phone call.

I took a brief shower to wash away Edward's scent and surveyed the cottage one last time before shutting the door. I knew the words that had been said within were for those walls only, but I still felt a skip in my step as I started towards home. There was hope for Edward and I to have our happy ending. Somehow. As I ran towards home, my head filled with daydreams. Daydreams of a happily ever after.

Unfortunately each step brought me further from those dreams and closer to the harsh reality of what I had started by confessing my feelings for Edward. As I neared Colter Bay I took my phone from the pocket in my jeans and crushed it in my hand. Aslo would be suspicious as to why I didn't answer if my phone were still intact. I didn't want to answer his questions as to why I ignored my phone, or my prolonged absence, or the smile that refused to leave my face. As I thought of Aslo and the lies I would have to tell him, I wondered how Edward have explained his absence, whether his original story of shopping in Seattle would be enough to stop the questions.

In trepidation struck and the smile on my face fell as I bit my lip and opened the door. My foot had yet to even touch the floorboards of home when I was grasped in Aslo's arms. My greeting choked in my throat and I let my arms wind around his waist as I felt him take in a deep breathe.

"Kventina," he breathed on my neck. "Moje kvetina."

"I'm sorry." I replied and it seemed to wake him from whatever state he had fallen into. He stepped back, but never out of reach. His eyes watched me closely with an intensity he so rarely showed me.

"You left."

"I know, I..." He cut me off as if my words didn't register.

"I rang, over and over, yet no answer. You always answer yet this time I was met with silence." He stepped towards me again, looming over me, his darkened eyes staring into mine with his emotions laid bare.

"I'm sorry. My phone broke. I didn't realise you had rang so many times." It felt off lying to Aslo. I wondered if it showed in my voice.

"That's all you have to say after running off like you did? What was I to think? You come to me in that state and then you disappear without a word, or a second glance. How could you? After all we've been through how could you just walk away after that?" He seemed to bite his tongue because his words stopped just as abruptly as they had started.

"I was ashamed for what I had done. I had never meant for it to happen." I couldn't bring myself to look at him as the memory of the kiss passed through my mind. His hand touched the nape of my neck, his way of encouraging my eyes to his.

"Why would you be ashamed?"

"Don't try to comfort me, Aslo. I know the kiss was wrong and I am truly sorry I put you in that position. I know you and Tanya are together, and I know we are nothing more than friends. I know those things. What I don't know is why I did what I did. I didn't mean to and I would honestly be so grateful if we could just go back to before. If you can forgive me, that is." I stopped fiddling with the edge of my top and glanced back up when my words were met with silence.

My movement seemed to snap him out of his reverie and a gentle smile slowly grew on his face. "Of course, kvetina, all is forgotten and forgiven."

I smiled at his words, trying to ignore the flatness that ran in the undertone. Maybe my own guilt was just imagining it, there could be no other reason for it.

He stepped back, this time further than before, just out of reach. "I was going to go hunt if you would care to join," he asked with a politeness he rarely used with me. His invitation was almost half-hearted.

"I hunted on my way back. I was actually going to go and see Alice. I disappeared on her too."

He nodded an made his way towards the large sliding doors at the back of the house. "How did you break your phone? You're always so careful with it," he asked over his shoulder.

"It fell out while I was hunting. Completely unusable."

He nodded although I was almost certain he knew I wasn't speaking the truth. "You should replace it soon,"

"Of course. Where are the others?" I asked conversationally.

"The Cullens. I told them I would stay here. To wait for you," he said bluntly before taking off into the forest. It was then I knew this was probably the first time he had hunted since I left.

I took a deep unnecessary breath. On some levels our conversation had gone better than I had thought it would but there seemed to be something off that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

I ran up to my room and changed into a free-flowing red dress that skimmed my hips and fell to slightly above my knees. It was one of my favourites, if not a little plain. I slipped on a black cardigan and shoes before running a brush through my hair. I knew as I applied cherry lip balm and mascara that I was no longer just tidying up my appearance, or changing out of muddy clothes. I was making an effort, and I knew why. I also knew how foolish it probably was to do so, but my time with Edward at the cottage beat down my reason. I was going to the Cullens' house, and he would be there, and that thought made me almost feel like the teenage girl I was meant to be.

Just be calm. I thought as I left the house mere minutes after returning to it. I didn't run through the forest as I usually would. Instead, I followed the road to their house. As I spied the impressive house, I remembered the last time I was there and the events that had been triggered by that visit. It was hard to believe that I had been so worked up over that document that resided in Carlisle's drawer. Now that I thought of it, it was nothing more than the notes he used to make on the tests we conducted. Perhaps it was the fact Ren showed me, or the fact it was a secret, that our history was a secret. Really though I knew the real reason was that the document held the key to revealing mine and Edward's relationship to Bella. It was because it was secret that Bella knew nothing of the history Edward and I had together. Did I really want her to know about it all?

A resounding 'no' echoed in my head as Emmett opened the door and welcomed me inside.

"Well look who it is," he said to the group as he clapped me on the back. "Where did you disappear to?"

"Did you miss me that much, Emmett?" I teased as I dodged his question. However the cheeky smile I portrayed faltered a I looked through down to the room as the far end of the house. I could see Bella and Edward sitting on a ruby sofa, her leant against him as she read while his hands played with her hair where it spilled across his lap. It was as if nothing had changed, at least not for him.

Alice caused my switch in attention as she blocked my view of Bella and Edward.

"You promised to spend the day with me but then you ran off without telling anyone." She pouted playfully as she spoke but it did nothing to dim the anger that was seething below my surface. He told me he loved me. He had done over and over again, but did it all mean nothing?

"Sometimes promises are broken, Alice. Everything is not perfect all of the time." I could hear my rage so I knew they could to. I watched as Alice's eyes turned from sorrow to suspicion as she cast a glance at Carlisle who was making his way down the large curving star case.

I shook my head to clear it. Alice had done nothing wrong. She hadn't lied or played me for a fool.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't mean it. I should probably go."

"What's going on, Sarelle?" Alice asked as her little hand grasped my arm lightly.

"Would you mind helping Esme with the Christmas decorations, Alice, I think Sarelle and I should talk," Carlisle interrupted, and I felt both relieved and nervous all at once.

"I'm sorry I've been so rude. I should really just go, Carlisle. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I uttered quickly as Edward and Bella came back into view.

Before Carlisle had a chance to reply I hurried out the house. I heard him followed but my pace quickened.

"Sarelle, stop. Please." His fatherly tone hit me somewhere at my core and I felt myself slow to a halt.

I cast a glance behind me and sure enough he came to a stop in front of me.

"I think we need to talk." there was a punch of authority in his voice and for the first time in a long time I saw him more as my father than my friend.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. I don't know what's going with me at the moment," I mumbled.

"I think I know," he said as he slipped his hand into his suit jacket and pulled the document out. " I was hoping to come to you and discuss this but now is as good as any. I believe you have seen this."

I nodded as I eyed the paper. " Ren showed it to me. I thought mine and Edwards past relationship was your dirty family secret. I'm surprised you allowed Ren to me inform of such a thing." I was being irrational and I knew it, but the image of Bella and Edward in my head fuelled my bitterness.

"We have never thought of you as a regret, Sarelle, nor some mistake meant to be hidden. It hurts that you would think such a thing," he scolded mildly as he stepped towards me.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," I sighed as I bowed my head.

"Don't apologise. Explain." He indicated a fallen tree and I joined him on it.

I smoothed my dress as I tried to form an answer. I couldn't tell him about Edward and I but i could tell him how much I resented having to keep our history secret, just for Bella's benefit.

"It was one thing for you not to have told Bella and those associated with her. I'm sure Edward had a certain aversion to telling her about me and the complications that I introduced into your lives. But to find that document, locked away like something to be hidden, something shameful. It hurt. Irrationally perhaps, but still."

"I understand and there were many of us who wished Edward had taken the route of honesty when he first ventured on his relationship with Bella. That was one of the reasons we still kept this," he said earnestly. I felt my bitterness start to subside.

"Why have you still got it then? I think it's a little late for Edward to tell all now," I sulked.

"We kept it because it wasn't just for Edward's benefit," he explained as he opened the document with a hint of reverence. "Have you read it? Really looked at it?" he asked as he handed it to me.

"There wasn't much time," I muttered as I drifted my eyes over the opening paragraph.

"Look now," he urged as he touched my shoulder the way he used to, in comfort and reassurance.

I did as he asked and as I did I saw how the messages and memories changed from bare facts to heartfelt notes. I saw how worn the pages were to the point that the paper had developed a thin silky texture. I smiled as I recognised some of the memories described and marvelled at those which I hadn't even realised they remembered. Carlisle was right. It was more than just another document like he'd had when we were testing my ability. It was like a biography, a memoir.

"We kept it because it kept you with us. We thought we'd lost you and although our memories served us well this held memories not all of us had. I was lucky to have known you for a great length of my vampire life. I had memories that none of the others had, and as we began to recollect we found that we each had our own personal memories and stories of you. This helped us to share those with each other," Carlisle narrated as I read.

"Why didn't you tell me about it? Why was it Ren who showed it to me?" I asked as my eyes drank in the words before me.

"You were here, this seemed irrelevant when we knew you were alive." Carlisle explained softly as we both looked down at the document together, his arm resting around my shoulders. "As for Renesmee, I wasn't aware that she knew of it. She knows certain places are private." I heard a trace of anger in his voice and I knew Ren had overstepped her mark. She probably didn't even know what she was doing was wrong. She had been told her whole life that she was special, that they loved her no matter what. A life like that was bound to distort her boundaries.

I wondered if her boundaries were that skewed then how could I trust her. She obviously knew all about mine and Edward's past yet she still seemed so comfortable around me. Were we really friends? Or was she playing a game with rules I was yet to understand? As the questions bubbled in my mind I thought of voicing my concerns to Carlisle but my own selfishness stopped me. I didn't want to insinuate that Ren had anything to look out for so I decided I would keep an eye on Ren myself.

"Does Bella know?" I questioned out of curiosity. Carlisle chuckled as he took the document back from me.

"I'm certain that if Renesmee had shown this to her then we would know about it. Bella seems quite sensitive concerning you." We both smirked, it was common knowledge mine and Bella's relationship was strained to say the least.

"I gather I'm not her favourite person."

"It's strange. You both share similar traits and interests," he said offhandedly.

"They say opposites attract, perhaps the opposite is also true."

"Perhaps."

I spied the document in his lap and my ulterior motives came to the surface.

"I think it would be best if that document is moved to a new hiding place." I didn't want Bella to find it an become anymore suspicious because it could make things difficult between Edward and I. I knew it would be easier if Bella knew to the point that she would know the truth but at the same time if she knew then she would be far more observant. I didn't want anyone to get hurt and in order to avoid that I needed to ensure she didn't know anymore than she already did. At least until I decided how to move forward. Either with Edward or without him.

Carlisle accepted my suggestion with a simple nod before casting his gaze over my seated form. "Are you happy, Sarelle?"

"Of course, what do I have to be unhappy about? I've got friends, family, a home to call my own, what else do I need." My mood lifted at the change of subject.

"It's not wrong to want more than that."

"They're all I've ever wanted. I've never thought to want for anything more."

"It takes more than an ease of living to make a person happy. Especially someone such as you."

"What do you mean?" I asked puzzled.

"You spent you're entire human life jumping from place to place. Having adventures that others could only imagine. It may not have always been easy but surely you can't deny that it was never boring. I just can't help but think that you seem... flat." Carlisle watched me carefully, his golden eyes piercing me in a way only Carlisle could.

"I suppose I've been feeling a little stagnant recently. I've learnt languages, I've learnt instruments, I've read hundreds of books. Nothing seems to be a challenge anymore." It was the same for many vampires, learning came so easily for us. It was those who had another to share their days with that avoided the stagnant feeling because with another in their life their days were never the same.

"Have you thought about attending school?" Carlisle asked, breaking my reverie.

"High school?" I laughed incredulously. I had never thought of attending school before, not since I was a small human child had I ever thought school was a possibility.

"Yes. You could attend with the others. I'm sure I could help get you a place, and Jasper could get the necessary papers."

As he spoke I felt a flicker of excitement. I was happy with life I had but I would be lying to say I didn't miss the adventures I used to have.

"I wouldn't want to draw any unwanted attention to your family, such a large group of us could be a problem." I returned without conviction.

"Nothing we can't handle, and I know the others would like to see you more." Carlisle smiled faintly.

"I'm sorry I haven't spent much time with you all."

"It's not your fault, you've got a lot of people in your life to devote your time to. We understand that your time is something we must share. Although I am sure you realise that sharing is a concept Alice sometimes struggles with."

I chuckled but it faded as I thought of the family I had seemingly neglected since they arrived. "I've missed this, Carlisle. I've missed you and the others. I've missed how we were when I was human. I don't think I truly knew that until now."

"I know Rosalie has already spoken to you, so you know we see you as are a part of this family."

"I know and maybe if things were different..." I sighed because there was little point in thinking 'what if' anymore. Things were what they were and I had to find a way to make peace with them, to embrace them. "You are a dear friend, Carlisle, and so much like the father I lost, but my loyalty must lie with my coven." Uncertainty laced my words because I knew as much as I loved the Denalis, I would always feel an affinity to the Cullens. It was as if I lived in no man's land. I couldn't truly be with the Cullens because of Edward and Bella, yet I struggled to settle with the Denalis because my heart always seems to lie in the past.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you, my dear." He enveloped me in his arms, holding me as he spoke. "But you have to know that we'll always see you as our own. You'll always be a Cullen to us."

I squeezed him tightly as elation filled me up inside. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome, and think about school. It could be good for you," he said as he pulled away.

"I will discuss it with the others. I wouldn't feel right making such a decision without them."

I hoped they would allow it because now that it was a possibility I wanted to go. I wanted to step back into the human world rather than live within this pocket world of vampirism. And more than anything I wanted to have this adventure.