Prentiss

The night continued to go on. No one had said anything when the three of us returned to the table inside after our cigarettes; I wasn't sure if they thought Morgan was stopping us or knew he was joining us. JJ went and got two gin and tonics, one for me and one for her, and I was pulled to the dancefloor with Morgan after half a drink. After a few songs, I saw JJ walk past us quickly, wiping a tear as she entered the woman's bathroom. Morgan had seen her too and I followed her in. She stared at herself in the mirror with tears on her cheeks when I walked in.

"Hey, what's going on? Did someone say something?"

She shook her head, "Will's here with some brunette chick. He's supposed to have Henry, but they're all dressed up and he was smiling," More tears fell onto her cheeks, "I just can't do it anymore. I love him and I miss him and he's never coming back." She sobbed this time.

"Okay, hang on; I'm going to go and send Pen and Savvy in. They'll be in here soon, just breathe okay?" I rubbed her back briefly and walked out quickly. I walked quickly to the team, "Hey, JJ needs you." I said to both girls. They nodded and put their drinks down, going straight to the bathrooms.

"Is she okay? What happened?" Reid asked.

I looked around the bar until I spotted him, "Will happened." I replied to him before walking towards Will. I approached his table where he stood alone; the girl was probably at the bar or something.

He saw me approach and he took a breath, "Emily…"

"What are you doing here?"

"…I'm having a drink."

"Where's Henry?"

"At a friend's house, why?"

"I need you to leave. You have every other bar in Virginia to choose from, but JJ is here and she doesn't need to see you here with some other chick to ruin her night."

He looked at me with a questioning look, "Emily, did JJ tell you why I left?"

"…The job, to which you know is important and you know that it is difficult on her too…"

He snickered and shook his head, "That's what she told you, huh?" He looked behind me in the direction of the team's table and he walked past me, motioning for me to follow. I followed him towards the table where the girls had returned to. Morgan turned around and stopped him before he was within a few steps of JJ. She stared at the table in front of her and the team looked silently between her and Will. "Why didn't you tell her, Jennifer?" Will asked her.

"It doesn't concern her or the rest of my team." She looked at him. Both her tone and her eyes warned him not to continue what he was doing.

"Ah…tell me what?" I looked at JJ.

She shook her head, "Why do you feel the need to ruin me?" She asked him aggressively.

"Ruin you? JJ, you ruined yourself. I'm not the one who cheated, you are." He finished before glancing at me and walking away.

I watched him walk away before I turned back to JJ. Her head was in her hands and she was shaking it. "You what now?" I asked.

She sobbed and continued to shake her head.

"…JJ."

"You're not so perfect either." She said aggressively, lifting her head and looking at me with hard eyes.

I raised my eyebrows; I knew she thought I was judging her, "JJ, I'm not judging you…I'm just—"

"Bullshit." She shook her head and wiped her tears from her cheeks. She hadn't met anyone's eyes except for me. She was ashamed and we all knew it.

"What were you thinking? You didn't think he'd find out?"

"Back off." She snapped at me.

I snickered and nodded, "Okay, yeah, I'm judging you." I walked back around the table and sipped my drink.

"Well what a magnificent best friend you are."

I gave her an obvious look, "You cheated on your husband! You have a son with him, JJ!"

"Yeah, well you're lucky you didn't have a kid, huh? Because at least mine could potentially come back; yours is dead."

"OH my god! You did not just say that to me."

"Stay at Rossi's." She said as she grabbed her wallet, took her phone from my clutch beside Savannah, and walked towards the exit. I shook my head and drank back the rest of my drink.

"I can't believe that she did that." Garcia said quietly after a few seconds of silence around the table.

I sighed and asked Savannah for my clutch. I needed another cigarette. I opened it and took the pack and lighter out.

"Oh, uh uh," Savannah walked around Morgan and took it from my hands, "You said not to let you have more than one."

I groaned, "Come on, Savannah." She shook her head and started speaking, lightly lecturing me on how cigarettes could kill me and compromise my effectiveness when I returned to work. I listened to the first few words but something caught my eye behind her and I stopped listening as I stared at that one man across the bar, staring right back at me. I had realised that I was holding my breath after a short while and I let it out. I felt myself shaking slightly with either shock or fear, I couldn't decide, and I felt Rossi's hand on my shoulder.

Savannah had stopped talking and she had tried to follow my eyes to where I was looking but she seemed confused. The others around the table all looked concerned and watched between me and where my eyes were. I looked down quickly and blinked a few times. When I looked back up, I searched that side of the bar for Chris. He had been standing right there, right across the room. He was staring at me with that furious expression he always had before he got angry and violent. I couldn't find him again. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I laughed at myself quietly and brushed my hair back. One thing after another. When would it end?

"What were you looking at?" Reid asked curiously.

"Looked like you saw a ghost..." Morgan said.

I hesitated, "Uh…nothing," I shook my head, "Nothing. Um…I'll be right back." I took my clutch from the table and walked to the bathroom quickly to escape their eyes. I made sure no one was in here before I locked the door to the room; I didn't want Garcia or Savannah following me.

I stared at myself in the mirror and ran the water. I hadn't eaten anything tonight but I had the urge to make myself throw up. I did quickly, coughing up the alcohol in my stomach. It was a foul taste and my eyes teared up badly. Once it finally stopped, I rinsed my mouth out and washed my hands. I took a few deep breaths and looked at myself in the mirror, "He's dead. You saw it happen. He is gone and he is not coming back." I said quietly to myself. I teared up again but I blinked them away. "Why is this happening to me?" I asked myself quietly.

I shook my head and walked to the door. I unlocked, opened, and walked out of the bathroom quickly. I went to the bar and waited for the bartender. I got three gin and tonics despite already throwing it all up, and I went back to the table. I put the glasses down and skulled back two and stood with the third.

"Slow down." Hotch said quietly.

I ignored him and I kept drinking quickly for about another half hour before I realised that I wasn't walking straight at all and everything continued to spin around me. Once I fell and Morgan caught me before it was too obvious to anyone else in the bar, the team decided it was time to leave. Rossi offered us all to go to his place, saving time and drop offs with the cabs Hotch called.

It was late morning, my head was pounding, I had already thrown up twice, and I could hear the team talking quietly downstairs. I walked down slowly so I didn't shake myself up too much and have to throw up again. I needed coffee. When I walked into the living room, I was met with several smirks from the majority of them and concerned expressions from Hotch and Rossi.

"I'll get you some coffee." Rossi said, standing and walking through to the kitchen. I thanked him quietly and sat down on the closest seat to me, beside Hotch.

When Rossi came back and gave me the mug, I thanked him again and sipped it before looking up, "So what exactly was I drinking last night?"

"Mostly gin and tonic…amongst other drinks." Reid nodded.

"You don't remember?" Garcia asked.

I shook my head, "Where's JJ?"

"Uh…you're fighting." Savannah said.

I snickered, "Figures."

"Do you want to know why?"

"It's probably something stupid, right?"

She shook her head, "I don't think so."

I raised my eyebrows, "Oh…so we're in like a serious fight?" I groaned, "Shit." Morgan recounted the fight in detail and the rest of the night briefly. As he spoke, a few memories of the night came back to my mind but there were still a lot of large blank spaces. Rossi refilled my coffee mug and I was half way through the second cup when I heard the front door open. I heard Henry's voice talking to her but I didn't hear a reply.

"Henry! Mummy doesn't want to hear about daddy, okay?" She burst as she walked into the living room where we all were. She dropped my two bags and didn't even look over, "Come on, we're going home."

"Aunt Emmy!" Henry said excitedly as he ran to me. I put my cup down and hugged him when jumped up and onto my lap. JJ sighed irritable. He told me a quick story about Will, the one I assumed he had tried to tell JJ, and I listened with a smile on my lips until he finished.

"Hey, can you stay in here with Spencer for a minute while I talk to mummy?" I asked him.

He nodded and jumped down from me. He walked to Reid with a big smile and climbed up to his lap. I stood and walked over towards JJ. "No, I don't want to talk to you." She said sternly.

"Then don't talk, listen." I said quietly as I made her turn and pushed her gently towards the foyer. I opened the front door and waited a few seconds before she gave in and walked outside. I closed the front door behind me and I talked to her for a while, maybe ten minutes. I apologised, I admitted that I had been tempted to cheat on Chris when I was with him, I told her that I didn't judge her for it. It went for a while and she didn't say a word the whole time; she wouldn't even meet my eyes. Once I ran out of things to say, she walked back inside quickly and I sighed to myself, took a deep breath, and then followed her.

"Henry, let's go." She said. He ignored her so she repeated herself forcefully. He pouted and got down from where he sat on the couch between Garcia and Reid. Once he had reached her, she turned and the two of them walked past me. She still didn't say anything and she still didn't meet my eyes.

After the front door closed behind me and the room had been silent for several seconds, I let out a breath and walked in quietly, sitting back down where I was before. "Nothing's working your way, is it?" I heard the familiar voice. My eyes widened at the sound and I looked behind me quickly. He wasn't there, but he voice was so recognisable. He sounded menacing. I turned back and saw suspicious faces. Rossi's eyebrows were raised, "What are you looking at?"

I shook my head, "Nothing." When I looked away and back up, I saw him again. He was staring at me, standing directly behind Reid. I felt my lips part in both shock and fear but I recovered quickly and looked away again. When I glanced back, he was gone. It was like he was a ghost, only just starting to haunt me now, almost five months after his death.

"She doesn't love you anymore." I heard his voice again. I looked behind me again but I made it subtle this time, looking around everywhere before I looked over my shoulder.

"Excuse me." I said quietly as I stood. I took my coffee and walked through the archway behind me and into the kitchen and dining. I walked out of their view and looked around, shaking my head. What was happening to me and why did it have to happen now? I had heard Hotch and Rossi recently discussing the possibility of reinstating me onto the team just for paperwork and work with Garcia, although nothing in the travel or field parts of the job yet. I was almost there but after what Morgan had said about me looking around "like I saw a ghost" and what had just happened, I knew they'd rethink it. Plus, my recent disagreement with JJ that she didn't forgive me for; that would be a setback too.

"Those memories are stuck in there and they will come to the surface." – Chris May.