Song List For This Chapter…
Little Sister - Queens Of The Stone Age
People Help The People - Birdy ((You should listen to this song if you haven't yet))
Doublewide - Corrosion Of Comformity
Topless - Breaking Benjamin
Lost That Easy - Cold War Kids
Small Bump - Ed Sheeran
Unfaithful – Rihanna
Brother - Falling In Reverse
What The Water Gave Me - Florence & The Machine
Bet U Wish U Had Me Back - Halestorm
Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene - Hozier
A Beautiful Mess - Jason Mraz
Broken - Lifehouse
SEVEN WEEKS LATER (HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO ME)
The sound of my phone ringing two days ago woke me up too early on a Sunday morning; when I looked at the caller ID I see that it is Alec and I almost don't answer the phone. I ended up answering it anyhow since he already woke me up and he told me that I needed to clear my schedule for Tuesday. When I asked him why he just giggled and told me it was a surprise that he and Magnus have been working on for a couple of weeks so this should be interesting.
It's only been a little over a month since I have started talking to Alec again and things have been going well between us. Even though I have my parabitai back in my life there is always that elephant in the room when we spend time together. I know that he knows where she is and it takes everything in me not to ask him questions about her; it's like walking on eggshells. Yesterday was my last day of work at the gas station and my manager and co-workers threw me a little goodbye party. I didn't really want to quit working there but I got notice from the clave that the day I turn eighteen my mundane behavior will no longer be accepted. They instructed me to return to the New York institute to full-fill my duty as a shadowhunter or to report to Idris to be stripped of my marks. I convinced the clave to allow me to live in my own apartment outside of the institute as long as I kept up my training and patrol duties; they reluctantly agreed.
My schedule is clear for most of the day except I am meeting my landlord this morning to sign my lease and get the keys to my apartment. He was nice enough to allow Simon, Izzy and I in the apartment last week to clean it and move all of my stuff in but I had to wait until my birthday to sign the lease to officially move in. My apartment is only one block from the institute and it's kind of small but I don't really need that much space. Simon gave me the bed that was in his spare room (I've spent the last four days sleeping on his shitty couch) and even though it's only a double the bedroom in my apartment is so small that I have the bed shoved against the wall. By the time I got the bed and a nightstand and a small dresser in the bedroom there isn't much space to walk around.
The bathroom is pretty tiny as well; the toilet sits right beside the small sink and the small shower stall won't give me much space to move around in. There is a small and I mean small closet in between the bathroom and the bedroom and the kitchen and living room is pretty much one big (small) room put together. The fridge and stove in the kitchen are smaller than standard size appliances but they will work just fine for me. The living room only has enough space for the TV, a small couch and a metal folding chair. Right now all I have for end tables are milk crates that the manager at the gas station let me have. There is a small overhang off the kitchen counter that gives me enough space to sit on a single stool and eat but there is no room for any kind of dining room table.
At first glance of my new apartment I hated it; it felt too confined but what sold me on it was two things. The first thing is off to the side of the living room is a floor length window that will allow me to go out and sit on the fire escape for fresh air anytime I feel too claustrophobic in my tiny apartment. The other thing that sold me on the apartment is I have a key to the rooftop; I figured I could use the space to practice some Tai Chi and even jog if I want to since the roof is pretty large.
I still have so much stuff to buy so that my apartment will be functional. I need to get tons of stuff for the kitchen; hell, pretty much everything really because all I have in there right now is a pack of paper plates and a roll of paper towels. Hailey said we could get together and check out the thrift shops for dishes and things I will need to cook with but since I don't even have any groceries in there I'm really in no big hurry. I try to get together with Hailey at least once or twice a week for coffee or a quick bite to eat but she started working part time at museum and between her work schedule and her schooling we don't get to see each other for more than an hour or so. Even though we don't see each other too much I have been happy to have her as a friend. Since the night at the museum she has done nothing but be my friend and she hasn't made any move to change that; in fact last week she started dating some kid in her art class. She told me his name was Steven and she said he was really sweet but kind of shy; she wants to find time for me to meet him because she said she values my opinion. I laughed at her and told her it wasn't my business who she dated but she insist I meet him anyhow; she is supposed to let me know when we can all get together.
After I sign my lease and the landlord gives me my keys for the apartment; I make my way up to the tenth floor by way of the stairwell (the elevator makes funny noises and it creeps me out) to unlock the door.
"SURPRISE!"
I find Alec, Magnus, Simon, Izzy and Hailey huddled together in my small kitchen with huge grins on their faces at the surprised look on my face.
"Wow the security in this place is shit. How did you all get in here anyway?" I joke as I take turns hugging each one of them.
"Your landlord let us in; we have been here for three hours trying to get everything done." Alec says happily.
"What do you mean get everything done?"
"Izzy and I went to the thrift shop and got everything you will need to cook a meal with and Magnus and Alec bought you groceries. Simon got you towels and stuff for your bathroom." Hailey smiles widely as she explains.
I take a few minutes to look through the drawers and cabinets of the kitchen as well as checking the bathroom out; I can feel the blush on my cheeks when I look at the group of people standing in my kitchen. I feel so loved by all of them that I feel a lump in my throat.
"I don't know what to say to all of you; thank you doesn't seem to be enough for you to know how much this means to me right now." I croak.
I give out another round of hugs to them all and they each mutter sweet and encouraging words as I embrace them. Alec is the last person I hug and when I look into his blue eyes they are glassy.
"We all love you so much Jace and we hope you are happy here and we all just wanted to help get you set up in your new home."
"This was a very nice surprise you had planned Alec; I thought for a minute you had some kind of glitter filled party at Magnus's planned for my birthday. This is the best birthday present I could have asked for."
"Um…" Alec looks nervous.
"No! Please tell me that this was your surprise and you don't have anything else planned Alec."
"All this was Hailey's idea, she put this particular surprise together for you; the rest of us just helped. My surprise isn't until later."
"Alec please." I whine.
"Don't pout Jace; I promise you won't be disappointed."
"So what is your big surprise then?"
"If I told you then it wouldn't be much of a surprise now would it? I can tell you that we are all going out to dinner first and your surprise won't have glitter anywhere near it okay."
"Who's all of us and where are we eating?"
"Everyone that is here right now will be going to dinner at Elmo's; the reservation is for five; that gives us plenty of time to eat before it's time for your real surprise."
"Whoa! Elmo's is pricey Alec; who's paying that bill?"
"The clave gave me permission to spend the money because it's your birthday."
"Sorry to interrupt you two but Izzy and I have plans for the day so we are going to get out of here; we will see you at Elmo's later." Simon says.
I walk Simon and Izzy to the door and say my goodbyes to them. When I turn around I find Magnus and Alec putting on their coats as well.
"Are you guys leaving too?"
"Sweetie, your parabitai and I have things to do to make sure your birthday surprise goes as planned." Magnus ruffles my hair as he steps out into the hall.
"Okay, well should I just meet you at Elmo's then?"
"Yes, be there by five please; you know how they are about reservation times."
"Alec, I'll be there ten minutes early; there is no way I'm missing out on the best steak dinner in the city."
When I close the door and go back into the kitchen; I find Hailey sitting on the stool with a sweet smile on her face.
"I suppose you have to go too?"
"Only if you want me to; I don't have anything planned for today."
"Of course I don't want you to go silly but what about Steven? Don't you want to spend the day with him?"
"Steven has class and he has to cram for his Lit. exam so I won't get to see him today."
"How did you get out of class today?"
"You know me, I'm a rebel, I do what I want. No, I actually worked ahead so I could take the day off."
"I figured that must have been what you did. I do know you and I know you think you are some bad ass but you never miss class."
"No I really don't. People will think I'm dead or something for not showing up for classes today."
"You should have made an announcement over the loud speaker because now someone will call the police and report you as missing person."
"Aren't you just so funny Jace? What do you want to all day?"
"Hell if I know. Alec told me to clear my whole day but since we aren't even doing anything until five; I don't really know what to do."
"Do you want to go out and try to find something to do or do you just want to stay home; now that you have your own home that is?"
"It would be kind of nice to just watch movies all day but I don't get my cable turned on until next week."
"I brought my laptop with me; I can hook it up to your TV and we can watch movies on Netflix if you want."
"Sounds good to me."
"Why don't you get it hooked up and pick out a movie and I will get lunch started."
"You are going to cook lunch for me? Shouldn't I be the one cooking for you since you are my guest?"
"Jace, it's your birthday; you're not supposed to cook on your own birthday. Besides I am really hungry for homemade chicken soup and since I noticed that you have the stuff to make it; I will make you soup."
"Aren't you only supposed to eat chicken soup when you are sick or something?"
"We can pretend."
I roll my eyes as she starts rooting in the fridge for the ingredients to make her soup. It takes me twenty minutes to find the cord to hook her laptop up to my TV and another fifteen minutes to find a movie for the two of us to watch; I end up picking a movie called Sinister. I enjoy seeing how the movie makers in the mundane world write up stuff that they think will scare the crap out of movie watchers. I have yet to see any movie that is even remotely scary or even close to being realistic to the things I have seen as a shadowhunter. I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge and lean against the counter to watch Hailey chop up carrots.
"Do you need any help with that?"
"No, in fact as soon I am done with these carrots we can go watch the movie; this soup needs to simmer for a while before I can put the noodles in."
"You and my sister did a good job of getting everything for the kitchen. I can cook a lot of stuff but I never really gave it much thought about the stuff I used to cook with. Knowing me; I would have forgot to buy a colander or spatulas or something else of importance for cooking."
"Well, I can't guarantee we remembered to get everything but you should be pretty well set up anyhow."
"I can't believe you got that coffee pot at the thrift store; it looks brand new."
"I actually got that from Walmart; the ones at the thrift store looked like they might catch fire if you plugged them in and I know how you love your coffee."
"Thank you so much; I'm still a little blown away that all of you did this for me."
"Don't be so shocked Jace; we all love you…okay, I'm all done here; what movie did you pick?"
"Sinister."
"That sounds like it might be scary."
"You can pick something else if you don't like scary movies."
"No I like scary movies; I just feel bad for anyone who sits near me when I watch them."
I sit on the small couch and Hailey flops down beside me as she pulls the throw pillow onto her lap.
"Why? Are you going to scream in my ear every five minutes?"
"I might scream a little bit but I also might grab ahold of you too; so don't think I'm getting fresh with you if I touch you."
We have managed to watch almost thirty minutes of the movie and with the exception of Hailey jerking a few times she hasn't yet screamed. Her phone starts to ring and she asks me to pause the movie so she can take her call; I find it odd that she goes out into the hall to talk. When I go into the kitchen to stir the soup I can't help but over hear bits of her conversation; it sound like she is arguing with whoever she is speaking with. Before I can press my ear to the door so I can eavesdrop my own phone starts to ring as it sits on one of the milk crates in the living room. With three steps I have my phone in my hand and push the talk button.
"Hello there beautiful. How are you today?"
"Happy birthday Jace! I would sing you the birthday song but then I would have to buy you a new phone when I break the earpiece."
"Thank you Emma. Tell me again why you can't be here for my birthday?"
"I'm really sorry I can't be there; you know I would be there if I could but Julian needs me to help him with the little ones this week."
"I know, I know. You told me last week you were babysitting; I am only busting your balls Em."
"It's what you do best. So what are you up to today? Any special plans?"
"I am having dinner with everyone at five and apparently Alec has some sort of surprise for me after dinner but I am just hanging out with Hailey for the day. She's making soup and we are watching Netflix."
"What are you two watching? Oh, am I interrupting your movie?"
"You aren't interrupting Em, Hailey is on the phone with someone also. Just some scary movie called Sinister but it's not scary to me."
"There hasn't been a movie yet that I have found scary but we are shadowhunters so nothing scares us right?"
"Exactly!"
"Is Hailey screaming her head off at the movie? I actually saw that one and I could see how a mundane might find it to be scary."
"No my eardrums are still in one piece but we are only about a quarter of the way through it so I might need a hearing aid by the time it's over. Maybe I'll get lucky and all she'll do is dig her fingernails into my skin a few times."
"That sounds interesting." She giggles into the phone.
"Behave yourself Emma! You know better."
"Oh live a little Jace; it is your birthday after all."
"Tell me why I shouldn't hang up on you right now?"
"Blah, blah, blah you don't have to hang up on me because I need to get off the phone anyhow. Have a good birthday and remember you are a sexy single shadowhunter; get out there and get some."
"Right after you do Emma, right after you do."
"I love you asshole."
"Love you too Em."
I sit on the couch, staring at the paused movie for almost twenty minutes before Hailey comes back into the apartment and I can't help but notice how red her eyes look. Has she been crying? Who was she arguing on the phone with? She gives me a fake smile as she skips over to the stove to stir the soup. That fake smile she gave me tells me not to ask her any questions. Hailey and I have the kind of friendship where we both know better than to ask too personal of questions. The coffee I made while I was on the phone with Emma is finally finished brewing so I go into the kitchen and get a cup out of the cupboard.
"Do you want some of this coffee Hailey?"
"No thank you."
"Since when do you turn down coffee?"
"My stomach doesn't feel very well; I doubt caffeine will help it."
"Are you sick or something?"
"No…just a little upset from that phone call but I'll be fine in a little bit."
"I'm not trying to be nosey or anything but is everything okay? You do seem very upset; even your eyes are red." So much for not asking personal questions.
"Steven decided to skip class for the rest of the day and he wanted to see me. I invited him to come over; I thought it would be nice for you to finally meet him but he kind of got mad. He wanted me to just blow you off and go and spend the day with him."
"You wouldn't be blowing me off Hailey. It's not like we had this all planned or anything. If you want to go see your boyfriend; don't let me stop you."
"I know we didn't have this planned but I did plan on spending the day with my friend on his birthday; Steven is the one who decided to change his plans. I don't think I should be expected to change plans that I have had for almost two weeks just because he changed his at the last minute."
"I'm glad you are standing your ground and all but if all of that's true then why did you let him get you upset enough to cry?"
"I told you how shy he can be but the truth is Steven seems to be very insecure."
"What does him being insecure have to do with you crying Hailey?"
"Sometimes he says things he doesn't mean when he feels insecure."
"What did he say to you?" I can't hide the anger in my voice.
"Can we just watch the movie Jace?"
I watch as she goes back into the living room and sits down on the couch as she stares at the TV. I take a few deep breaths and pour a cup of coffee before taking my seat beside her on the couch and un-pausing the movie. As much as I want to push her to tell me what kind of fucked up shit her boyfriend said to make her cry; I decide to let it go. The truth is; if she were to ask me questions that I didn't want to answer she would be respectful enough to me to stop; I need to show her the same respect.
An hour into the movie she screams loudly and buries her face into my shoulder when she gets scared. Between her being scared and knowing that she is still upset from her phone call; I decide to wrap my arm around her and let her snuggle against my chest for the rest of the movie. By the time the movie is over; I look down to see that Hailey is sleeping. Carefully I lift her up off the couch and carry her into my room so I can put her on my bed. After I cover her up; I stand there looking at her and I am questioning even putting her in here instead of just letting her sleep on the couch. The thought of a girl in my bed; no matter how innocent the gesture seems; I still have an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
I shut my bedroom door and go into the kitchen to put the noodles into the pot of soup and fifteen minutes later I am sitting on the stool in my kitchen eating a bowl of the soup. Sick or not this is probably some of the best chicken soup I have ever eaten. I end up eating two more bowls of the soup and turn the stove down low to keep it warm in case Hailey wants some of it when she wakes up. I watch a couple of episodes of Family Guy on Netflix; hoping Hailey will wake up soon and watch another movie with me before it's time to get ready to go to dinner. At twenty till four I decide I need to get a shower and shave my face so I look presentable for my birthday dinner. I am surprised that she is still sleeping when I go into my room with a towel wrapped around my waist to get a change of clothes. I decide to go get dressed in the bathroom and once I am dressed I will wake her up in case she wants to run home and change before we head to the restaurant. Just as I am about to shut my bathroom door to put my clothes on; someone knocks on my door. Figuring it's probably Simon or Alec; I go to the door with my towel wrapped around me to answer the door.
When I open the door I find some dude I have never seen before staring at me. He's about two inches taller than me and looks like he spends too many hours in the gym lifting weights; he's a big dude that's for sure. He also looks like an asshole; he has his hair over-gelled and his shitty skull tattoo on his arm makes me think he comes from a rough area. Christ this must be one of my neighbors; I hope I don't have any trouble with this guy; no wonder my rent is so cheap.
"Can I help you with something?" I ask.
"Are you Jace?"
"Who wants to know?"
"I'm Steven; Hailey's boyfriend; she invited me over."
I reach my hand out to offer a handshake to him with a smile on my face when I realize who he is. My handshake is only offered because it's the polite thing to do and the smile I give him is fake. Between the way he looks and the way I know he made my friend cry I already loathe him.
"Nice to meet you Steven; please come in."
He doesn't return my handshake as he steps into the apartment and glance around the room.
"Is she taking a piss or something?"
"No, she's in my room; she's still sleeping. I can go wake her up for you."
The bastard blindsides me and punches me hard enough to make me lose my balance; thankfully I steady myself against the kitchen counter. I duck when he takes another swing at me.
"I'm going to fuck you up pretty boy!" He shouts. I am quick enough to avoid a couple more swings from him as I dance my way around my small apartment.
"What's your problem?" I ask as I continue my dance.
"You're my fucking problem asshole. Do you think you can just go around fucking other dudes girlfriends and get away with it?"
"Maybe if you fucked her right in the first place she wouldn't need to find it somewhere else." I can't help the words that I am spitting out at this asshole. I realize that I probably just fucked up Hailey's relationship but if he's this big of a dick then she shouldn't be with him anyhow. Now he really looks pissed when he lunges at me and I have had enough fun dancing around the room and when he gets close enough my fist connects perfectly with his jaw. I make sure to back off some of my strength because he is only a mundane; if I hit him full force I would shatter his jaw.
"Stop!" Hailey screams as she steps out of my bedroom and her light green eyes are huge as she takes in the scene in front of her. The look on her face tells me how angry she is at me for hitting her boyfriend and I shove him away from me so I can try to explain. Somehow her eyes grow larger as she starts to scream but before she can get anything out I get knocked to the ground and end up knocking her down in the process. I roll over expecting to get punched by her boyfriend but I don't see him; Hailey screams and I jump up off the floor to stop him from choking her. I give him a taste of his own medicine by crushing his throat with my forearm from behind and as he attempts to struggle out of my grip he drops Hailey to the floor where she stays perfectly still.
I am so full of rage for him putting his hands on her that I don't hold back the force of my blows as I begin to pound my fists into his face. When his face is a bloody mess and he stops trying to fight back; I stop punching him. I drag him up off the floor as I stand and slam him against the still open doorframe a few times before tossing him out into the hallway. I watch him begin to crawl towards the elevator before I shut my door and flip the deadbolt into the locking positions before I go check on Hailey. She has her hands on her throat and her eyes look as scared as I have ever seen someone look before. I drop to the floor and place my hand on her shoulder.
"Are you okay Hailey?"
"W-why did you say that to him Jace?"
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied to him but that guys a fucking asshole; you shouldn't be with someone like that."
"He's never going to forgive me for this. Look what you have done."
"Are you seriously considering staying with him after he slapped you and choked you?"
"He was angry; you made him think you and I were sleeping together."
"This is fucking insane! I don't care if he walked in and actually saw me fucking you; that doesn't give him any right to put his fucking hands on you!"
"You are making too big a deal about this Jace."
Anger flares in my chest as I cup her face in my hands and I almost drop my left hand when she winces from my touch where he slapped her; the red welt feels hot under my palm.
"Listen to me Hailey…look at me and listen closely. You are a beautiful, funny, and amazing girl and you don't deserve to be treated like this. I don't care how angry I used to get at Clary; I would never ever in a million years lay a hand on her. Only cowards put their hands on woman and still try to call themselves men. A guy that hits a woman is nothing more than garbage."
"Was that her name?"
I stare at her in confusion for a moment but then it sinks in that I said her name; a name I haven't spoken out loud in months. I don't know what to say to Hailey so I just nod my head yes at her as I let my hands slip from her face. I set down on the floor and rest my hands on my thighs and realize I am still only wearing a towel; thankfully during the entire fight it didn't fall off. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves before looking at her again.
"Please tell me you aren't going to see him anymore Hailey."
"I won't, I promise. Besides he thinks I'm having sex with you and you beat the shit out of him so I doubt he will even bother me anymore. You are a lot stronger than I thought you were Jace; you didn't even get out of breath during that whole thing."
I stand up and grab a bag of frozen vegetables out of the freezer and press it against her cheek. She winches but puts her hand up to hold the bag against her skin.
"I'll be right back; I need to go put some damn clothes on."
She nods her head and I go into the bathroom to quickly get dressed. My phone starts ringing just as I walk out of the bathroom and when I pick it up to answer it the caller ID say's it's Alec calling. Shit it's ten after five.
"Hello."
"Jace! Where the hell are you? It's after five."
"Look Alec…something kind of happened here and even if I leave right now I won't be there to almost five thirty."
"What happened?"
"I can explain it better to you later. I'm sorry I fucked up everyone's dinner."
"They went ahead and sat us because I told them that the birthday boy and his date were stuck in traffic. Tell me what you want so I can order for you and Hailey; by the time you get here your food should be done."
"Okay hold on a second."
I pull the phone to my chest and look at Hailey who is now sitting on the stool in the kitchen.
"Alec wants to know what you want to eat; he said he can order for us and by the time we get there then our food will be ready."
"Maybe I shouldn't go to dinner; I look like hell and isn't Elmo's pretty fancy?"
"No it's expensive but you can go there in dirty jeans and t-shirts for all they care. You look beautiful and it's my birthday so please say you will come."
"What should I order?"
"Steak. You don't go to the best steakhouse in the city for salad."
"Can you just pick something for me since you know what they have?"
I smile at her as I pull the phone back up to speak to Alec.
"Okay Alec, are you ready for our order?"
"Ready."
"I want the prime rib, rare, and you know what sides I like. Hailey will take the house sirloin, medium-well, the rice pilaf, and the Caesar salad. "
"Got it. Now move your asses."
"Be there as soon as we can."
I hang up my phone as I grab my jacket and Hailey takes my outstretched hand as we exit my apartment. The two of us get to the restaurant at twenty-five after five and the hostess looks pissed when we tell her who we are. I just smile sweetly at her and she softens her scowl as she shows us to our table. I let go of Hailey's hand and push her chair in before I take a seat beside her. Simon, Izzy, Alec and Magnus all look at the two of us like we have dirt on our faces. Hailey curls her shoulders to attempt to shrink down in her chair from the way they are looking at the red welt on her face; I take her hand in mine and I wink at her when she looks in my direction. I lean over and whisper in her ear to ask her permission to explain what happened to everyone and she nods her head yes but keeps her eyes on her lap. I clear my throat as I look up four pairs of curious eyes.
"The reason why we are late is because Hailey's boyfriend made an unexpected visit to my apartment. He saw me in nothing but a towel and Hailey was taking a nap in my bed and the dude kind of flipped out. Long story short he managed to catch me off guard and got me down on the ground long enough to slap her and begin choking her before I beat the shit out of him and threw him out."
Everyone at the table takes their turns apologizing to Hailey for what happened to her and by the time they all finish she has her head held high and I give her hand a comforting squeeze before letting her go.
"Okay, I'll be the one to ask the obvious question here."
"What question would that be Izzy?"
"Are you two sleeping together?"
"Christ you are as bad as her boyfriend…excuse me ex-boyfriend. No Isabelle I am not sleeping with Hailey; we are only friends. She fell asleep when we were watching a movie and I put her in my bed so she would be more comfortable. I just got out of the shower when the asshole showed up at my door."
"I still can't believe he put his hands on you like that. I know what it feels like to have your girlfriend cheat on you but I would never put my hands on her." Simon says in soft tone as Izzy looks embarrassed.
"That's because you are real man; real men don't hit women. Your girlfriend is stupid for cheating on you because you are a good guy Simon; she sounds like a selfish bitch that you are better off without if you ask my opinion." I started off looking at Simon but by the time I finished speaking I was glaring at my sister; her face is red and she looks pissed.
"Fuck this! I don't need this shit!" Izzy huffs as she rises from her seat.
"Izzy you can't leave! Jace tell her you are sorry." Alec pleads and I just shake my head no at him; Izzy stomps her foot and bolts away from the table.
"Oh hell, now look what you did Jace; you realize I have no choice but to go after her now don't you?"
I watch as Simon gets up out of his chair to leave.
"No! Simon not you too? This night is going to shit." Alec whines.
"You're welcome Simon." I grin at him as he starts to walk away from the table.
"You had to open up that can of worms on your birthday didn't you Jace?"
"Hey you started it; I only finished it for you. Now go after her before she does something stupid; you can thank me later for ending your misery."
Simon shakes his head as he laughs and he exits the restaurant to go after my sister; I'll have to find a way to apologize to her later. The way their fucked up relationship was put on the table might not have been the best way for the two of them to figure out their problems but it had to start somewhere. I look at Alec and he has a sad look on his face.
"I'm sorry if them leaving messes up your surprise Alec."
"You realize they probably aren't coming back."
"Oh they are definitely not coming back; trust me. That's okay though what they are about to do has been a long time coming for the two of them."
"It's your loss Jace; now they won't get to share your surprise with you. You are stuck with Hailey and us two."
"I couldn't think of three better people to spend my birthday with. When do I get my surprise?"
"I might as well just tell you now since it's all messed up anyhow."
"No darling. The little shit can just wait until after we have all finished eating this wonderful meal you have arranged. Jace wipe that smart ass look off your face and eat your steak like a good boy. Alec put a lot of work into planning your surprise and you are just going to have to wait."
The four of us eat our meals and it take everything in me not to slap Alec when the waitress carries over a cake as half the damn restaurant sings happy birthday to me. It's after six-thirty when Alec finally jumps up off his seat with a huge grin on his face.
"It's time!"
"Thank god, let's get this over with already."
"Roll your eyes all you want right now but when we get to where your surprise is at in just a few minutes; you are going to be jumping for joy."
I can't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm; he must be pretty confident with his surprise. Magnus and Hailey look just as amused as I feel as we all leave the restaurant. Alec and Magnus hold hands as Hailey and I follow them down the sidewalk for almost ten minutes before Alec stops and spins around; he pulls out a cloth from his pocket and raises his eyebrows at me.
"I kind of need to blind fold you for the rest of the way; otherwise you will figure it out too soon."
"Blind fold me; you kinky bastard you. Magnus does he do this to you too?" I joke as Alec covers my eyes with the cloth and when he pulls the knot tight; I can't see anything.
"Can you see anything?"
"No, Alec I can't see anything. Someone better hold my damn hand so I don't trip over anything."
"I'll hold your hand Jace." Hailey whispers in my ear and I feel my skin prickle as her breath tickles my ear.
I don't know how far we walk but my steps are slow because I'm afraid if I do trip over something; Hailey might not have the strength to keep me from falling on my face. Her breath tickles my ear again when she whispers for me to stop walking. I can hear many unfamiliar voices around me and the soft pounding of music; if Alec brought me to a fucking night club for my birthday he is going to be sadly disappointed when I go home without going into the club. I have no desire to step foot inside of a club.
"Ready for your surprise?" Alec says.
"Can I take this damn thing off yet?"
"Not yet I want to see if you can guess first; hold out your hand."
"What the hell are you going to put in my hand Alec?"
"Nothing bad just hold out your hand already; people are starting to stare."
"What do you care if they stare? You aren't the dumbass with a blind fold on; I am and I don't give two shits if they stare."
I hold my hand out and I feel Alec put something in my palm. I raise my other hand and feel the item with my fingers to see if I can figure out what it is. It's a thick paper of some sort; kind of like the thin cardboard on a cereal box. It's about six inches long and two inches wide; I feel the edge of the thick paper and feel small ridges with my finger all the way around the edge. When I run my fingers over the top of the thick paper I feel more ridges at about the halfway point of the paper and I think I figure out what I am holding.
"Can I ask a question about what is in my hand before I guess?"
"Sure go ahead." I can hear the amusement in Alec's voice.
"This item in my hand; is there one of these for each of us?"
"Yes." Alec giggles.
"It's a concert ticket."
"Is that your only guess?" He giggles again.
"It's not a guess because I have been to enough concerts to know that's what I am holding in my hand Alec. The only thing I don't know is what concert we are going to be watching."
I feel Alec's fingers at the back of my head to untie the blind fold; he is laughing heartily now because he knows that I know I guessed right. I blink my eyes a few times to adjust my site and we are in a line full of people at the entrance of the concert hall. I quickly scan the crowd and see a lot of people wearing different shirts; all with the same band name on them. I can't contain my excitement and I begin to bounce up and down on my heels.
"No fucking way! You got us all tickets to see Breaking Benjamin for my birthday?"
"I told you that you wouldn't be disappointed with your surprise brother."
I plant a big wet kiss on Alec's cheek and pull him in for a big hug.
"This is the best fucking birthday present ever! Thank you so much Alec."
"Your welcome Jace; you always said you wanted to see this band live and when I found out that they were not only playing here but on your birthday I just knew I had to go all out."
"Shit, now I feel bad about Izzy and Simon not being here."
"Don't feel bad Jace. You're right those two need to clean their shit up. Now let's go have fun!"
"Alec…if you really want to make my birthday special you will buy me one of those t-shirts over there."
"Put your lip back in your mouth Jace. I already sent Magnus and Hailey over to get us all t-shirts."
"I hope Magnus doesn't buy us all the same shirts; we'll look like dorks if we all match."
"Be nice Jace. Do you want something to drink?"
"Um…what the hell it's my birthday right…I guess I can drink a beer."
"Stay here and wait for Magnus and Hailey while I get us all something to drink."
Alec disappears into the crowd of people and I watch Hailey and Magnus make their way back towards me. Hailey hands me my t-shirt as Magnus pulls his over his head; Hailey and I put our t-shirts on and to my own horror we all have the same damn shirt on. Magnus has a happy smile on his face when he sees that I have noticed.
"Isn't it wonderful Jace? We will all match. I love to match."
"I was hoping you would get us all matching shirts; thank you Magnus."
Hailey rolls her eyes at my fake smile but Magnus is none the wiser to my sarcasm. Thankfully Alec returns with our drinks right before it's our turn to hand our ticket stubs over. I am impressed that he managed to carry four cans of beer through the thick crowd without spilling any of it. He hands me my beer and give one to Magnus as well but when he hands one to Hailey she makes a face as she takes it from him. I lean over and whisper in her ear.
"I take it you don't drink beer?"
"No I hate beer but I didn't want to be rude." She whispers back.
"Just hang on to it and when I'm done with mine I will drink yours."
By the end of the concert my ears are ringing and I feel dizzy from drinking too much beer; I lost count after nine but I know they just kept coming. I think Alec was trying to get me drunk on purpose but by the way him and Magnus are stumbling around I don't think he realized how much we all had to drink; with the exception of Hailey who is sober. The cool night air feels good on my face once we make our way through the crowd of people. A wave of dizziness hits me hard and I have to lean against a trash can to keep from falling down. Hailey puts her hand on my shoulder and when I look up I can't help the giggle that comes out of my mouth when I see Alec and Magnus in an intense lip-lock.
"Look how sweet they are." I slur to Hailey.
"Look how drunk you are Jace."
"I'm not drunk…um…maybe I am…when did you grow another head?"
"Probably after you drank beer number thirteen; come on you lush; let's get you home."
"Wait…I need to stay here for a minute…oh fuck…I think I'm going to be sick…don't look."
I double over and begin to retch loudly into the trash can that I have been leaning against since we got out side and after a few minutes my stomach stops rolling and I stop throwing up. Hailey rubs my back with her hand as I gain control over my breathing again before I wipe my mouth off with the back of my hand and stand up. Hailey grips my arm with her hands when I begin to stumble away from the trash can.
"Where…where did they go? Where is Magnus and Alec?"
"The already started towards home; come one let's get you home now Jace."
The walk home is a long one and it's after eleven by the time Hailey shoves her hand into my pants pocket; just as I am about to ask her what she is doing she pulls out my keys and unlocks my apartment. She drags me into the bathroom and helps me sit down on the toilet; she finds my tooth brush and hands it to me after she squirts tooth paste on it. I shove the toothbrush in my mouth but I can't seem to figure out how I am supposed to make the brush clean my teeth. Hailey lets out a small chuckle when she sees me struggling and she pulls my hand down and begins to brush my teeth for me. For some reason I find this to be hilarious and when I begin to laugh loudly she gives up and puts my toothbrush on the sink.
I am still giggling as I watch her put soap on a washcloth and wet it in the sink before she uses it to wipe my face off and then my hands. She throws the washcloth in the hamper and looks at my chest.
"Arms up Jace; you have throw up on your shirt."
"Are you trying to get me naked Hailey?" I slur.
"Arms up Jace!"
"Don't be mean. It's my birthday and you're not supposed to be mean to the birthday boy."
"I'm sorry Jace but please understand that I am just trying to help you. Will you please be a good birthday boy and raise your arms for me so I can get this throw up splattered shirt off of you?"
I lift my arms up as she pulls both of my t-shirts off at the same time; she didn't mean to take off both of them but I am too squirmy for her to separate them.
"Why are you squirming so much Jace?"
"I need to pee."
"Of course you do. Do you think you can manage to go to the bathroom without falling down?"
"It's a pretty small bathroom; I can just lean against the wall."
"Okay I'm going into the living room; call if you need me okay."
"You can stay and watch me if you want; maybe you can even hold it for me."
"I think you can manage by yourself."
"See how you are; you get me half naked and then leave me to take care of myself."
"Jace…just go pee before I have another mess to clean up."
Hailey leaves me in the bathroom and it takes me a few minutes to unhook my belt and a few more minutes to open the button and zipper on my jeans before I can finally empty my full bladder. A knock at the door makes me open my eyes; I fell asleep leaning against the wall. I stumble to the door and open it to see Hailey holding a glass of water out to me and she has two pills in her open palm.
"Here take these and drink that whole glass of water."
"What are those pills?"
"It's only Tylenol; it will help."
"But I don't have a headache."
"Not now you don't but tomorrow you will."
I take the pills and drink the whole glass of water before handing her back the empty glass. She places the glass down on the counter and I freeze when she grabs ahold of the front of my jeans.
"What are you doing?"
"You left your pants hanging wide open Jace; I'm just trying to help you."
I swat her hands away from my pants and bend over to take them off; I nearly fall over when I kick my pants across the living room floor.
"I can't sleep with my jeans on. I usually sleep naked. How about you Hailey do you sleep naked?"
"You can't go to sleep yet Jace; you are still too drunk. Why don't you go sit on the couch and I will get you some more water."
I stumble towards the couch and when I sit down some of the dizziness I feel in my head goes away. Hailey hands me another glass of water before she sits down on the metal folding chair. She is quite as I slowly finish the glass of water and she gets up and brings me another full glass before taking her seat again. By the time I finish the third glass of water my dizziness is gone and I only feel a slight buzz instead of a full on drunk.
"You never answered my question you know."
"What question Jace?"
"I asked you if you slept naked."
"No, Jace I do not sleep naked."
"Why not? It's freeing." I giggle.
"I just don't."
"What do you sleep in then?"
"A t-shirt usually."
"Do you wear just the t-shirt or do you wear underwear too?"
"Jace you are being really perverted right now." She can't seem to hide her amusement.
"So you keep leering at me and you can't hide your smile over there."
"I am not leering at you."
"Yes you are. You can't keep those green eyes of yours off my bare chest. Come sit with me Hailey."
"No Jace."
"Please…it's my birthday."
"Not anymore it's not. Look at the clock; its two minutes after midnight."
"My friend Emma said I was supposed to go out and get some on my birthday."
"Get some what?"
"Come here and I'll show you."
"Why are you doing this Jace? What happened to just being friends?"
"We can still be friends. I want you and I know you want me so come to bed with me."
I stand up and hold my hand out to her and she smiles as she slips her hand into mine. The two of us are quiet as I take all of her clothes off and push her down on my bed before kicking my boxers off and sliding on top of her naked body. Our noses bump a few times before our lips finally connect and I stop kissing her as soon my lips touch hers. I might still have alcohol flowing in my system but I have never felt this uncoordinated kissing someone. Kissing her feels…off somehow…but I have to try. My heart is pounding and I clamp my eyes shut and try again; this time I shut my mind off and just feel her soft lips against mine as our kiss deepens. This time when I kiss her it's better than the first time but no matter how hard I try; her lips just don't seem to sync up with mine. She slides her fingers into my hair as she wraps her long legs around my hips; a low groan escapes my mouth when I press my shaft against her center. Lust begins to take over my body and I want to just give into that feeling; I give up on trying to synchronize our kissing and pull my mouth off of hers.
Her soft skin feels warm under my touch and when she starts to grind her hips underneath me I can't control the moans that come out of my mouth. It's been so long since I have heard and seen the signs of pleasure that I can give to another person. Her body is alive underneath mine as I start to nibble and suck at the skin behind her ear. Once again I try to shut my mind off from everything I know; I try to focus on how I used to feel and think when I would find some random girl at the club and take her to the bathroom for a quick fuck. I need this so bad right now; I have been so pent up for so long and my body needs this. Her voice is low and throaty when she whispers in my ear.
"Please Jace…please I want you…please."
She moans loudly as I push my length into her and I begin to thrust into her at a steady pace. I fight hard to ignore the fact that I am not wearing protection but pure desperation drives me to continue. I am so damn desperate to feel something besides pain and anger all the time; this feels like some kind of tragic ending to my own existence. This single moment can either break me completely or magically heal me…I have to try…
Even though I am trying my hardest to shift the feeling of pain and anger into something else; desire does not fill my body like I need it too. Hailey is lost in her own pleasure right now but even though I increase my pace; the release that my body desperately needs doesn't seem to be nearing at all. For a split second I think about flipping her over and fucking her hard from behind just so I don't have to look at her; just so I don't have to feel her foreign and unsatisfying touch but that would not give me what I so desperately want…I have to try… As I rock into her; all I can see is a pair of green eyes behind my closed eyes. Not Hailey's light green eyes but these eyes are a darker emerald green; these eyes belong to the girl that owns my heart. Hot tears pour down my face as my body begins to shake as those haunting dark green eyes burn into my soul with that familiar icy glare of anger and disappointment that I know all too well; overwhelming pain and shameful betrayal takes over and I collapse on top of Hailey as I begin to sob loudly.
"C-Claryyyy….I'm so sorry…oh god…what have I done…I'm so fucking sorry…Claryyyy…"
I roll off of Hailey and fall onto the floor of my bedroom and start to craw towards the door; Hailey grabs my shoulders to stop me from leaving the room.
"Jace, it's okay. Please don't cry."
"It's not okay…how could I do this to her? How could I do this to you? You…you are such a sweet girl and you deserve to have someone who will love you…I'm not that person…I can't ever be that person…my heart isn't even in my chest anymore…she took it…she took it with her when she left me…it's not fair…I lost her too…my heart was broken too…but she didn't even try to stay and fix it together…losing her hurt me too…I hate what she did to me…I love her…I wanted her too…I hate her…she owns my heart…I love her so fucking much…"
"Jace you sound like you are talking about two different people; I'm confused."
I sit up and look at her as my mouth hangs open from all the shit that just spilled out of my mouth. I grab my boxer shorts and pull them on before pulling one of my t-shirts out and hand it to her to put on. She pulls my shirt over her naked body and her eyes are still full of confusion when she looks at me. Relief washes over me when I don't see the look of rejection in her eyes; all I see is the look of concern. I sink down on the edge of my bed and sigh loudly as I prepare to tell her things I thought I'd never tell her.
"I fell in love with a girl named Clary…she made me feel things I have never felt before…before her all I did was fuck random girls without even really feeling anything but Clary was different…she was so sweet and so pure and so damn good…yet at the same time as she was sweet she could also be strong and intense and aggressive and…so damn jealous that it was almost funny…she had so much raw passion…her passion and her intensity was startling…what was even more startling was when I realized that everything she was and everything she did was a reflection of how I was…looking at her was as though I was looking into a mirror or seeing a photograph of my own soul…all it took was a single brush of her lips and my entire world changed…one single kiss from this red haired angel and my life would never be the same…I knew instantly that I would do anything in my power to have her all to myself for the rest of my life…to take her hand in mine and just disappear to some fairy tale land where no one and nothing could touch us…I thought I was the luckiest person on the earth because she actually loved me too…"
My eyes were glued to the floor as the words that I thought would be so hard to say seemed to flow like a gentle stream out of my mouth…but now as I try to find the words to finish my story it feels like I might choke. Of course reliving all the good parts would come out so easily…it's reliving the darkness that comes after that I am struggling to find the right words. I glance at Hailey and when she gives me an encouraging smile it's enough to get the jumbled words in my head to form the proper sentence's to finish my story. I take a deep breath and begin…
"Clary got pregnant right after we started dating and at first we were scared to death…at first I was so…angry…I have never told anyone this before…but when I found out that there was this living being growing inside of the girl that I loved with all my heart…I wanted it to go away…I didn't want Clary to have something growing inside of her that might make her love for me lessen…because you know that old saying about you never truly love until you hold your own child in your hands…I didn't want Clary to love something or someone more than she loved me…it was selfish of me to feel that way but I still felt it…I fought hard against my inner demons and with time I came to the conclusion that Clary's love wouldn't be the only persons love to change because of this life growing inside of her…my love would change as well because the life growing inside of her was a life that I helped create…after all the fear and uncertainty about how Clary and I's future would be because of this unborn child came into focus better; happiness and joy took over…we were so excited…we were going to have a baby girl…I asked Clary to marry me…not because she was pregnant but because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her…when Clary was seven months pregnant she got into a car accident and that accident took our baby girl from us…she was so perfect…such a little angel…we named her Heather Rayne…losing our baby broke something inside of us…Clary shut me out…she barley spoke to me and when she did I felt like a burden to her…I tried to be patient with her but she felt like I pushed her too much…she didn't want me to tell her I loved her anymore…I was sleeping on the floor…it hurt so much that she wouldn't let me touch her…to just hold her hand or hug her…just when I thought we had a little break through; I woke up to find her engagement ring sitting on top of her goodbye letter."
"Jace…I'm so sorry she left you…I'm so sorry that you both lost your daughter…I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you…how hard it must still be."
"I'm sorry I fucked up my friendship with you."
"You didn't. I already messed up our friendship up the day I fell in love with you."
"Shit…you're in love with me?"
"Yes Jace; I have been in love with you since you walked me home that first night we had dinner after the museum. After you told me you could only ever be my friend. After I agreed to just be your friend but I can't help how I feel about you. I told myself that I would be happy just to have you in my life. I told myself that maybe with time you would learn to love me someday; I guess I was wrong about that last part huh?"
"I'm sorry Hailey. I didn't know for sure but I kind of thought maybe you felt that way about me and please believe me when I tell you that I wish I could feel the same way. I wish I could stop loving her because you make me almost feel happy sometimes; you make me laugh and you are so good for me in so many ways. I have been trying so hard to get the courage to try to wrap my brain around being more than just your friend and tonight after having too much to drink and before it was too late I tried but it didn't work."
"What do you mean before it was too late?"
The truth is everything I just told this beautiful girl is the truth. I really wish I could find a way to love her. I really wish I could find a way to stop loving Clary. Tonight was my last chance to see if I could be with Hailey because I thought that if I could feel something for her and stop feeling something for Clary; I would go to Idris and let the clave strip my marks. I was willing to change everything I have ever known if it meant I could be even slightly happy again; if it meant I could feel something besides pain and sadness all the time. I can't explain these things to her because she is a mundane and mundane's aren't supposed to know about shadowhunters. So I tell her the next best thing I can think of.
"Before someone else came along and fell in love with you."
"Is that why you said those things to Steven?"
"At the time I don't think I meant it that way; at the time I was just being an asshole but maybe that's why I said those things to him. I'm sorry he hurt you but I'm not sorry for making him mad enough to bring out his ugly side. If you would have continued to stay with him and I wasn't around when he let his ugly out he could have really hurt you."
"I wasn't in my right mind when I said some of those things to you. I don't want to be with Steven; I just wanted to try to be with someone else because I couldn't be with you. I know I don't deserve to have someone smack me around and I have no intentions of going anywhere near him again."
"I understand if this is too hard for you Hailey. I understand if you don't want to see me anymore."
"Jace I might have feeling for you that you will never return but that doesn't mean I don't want to still be your friend. I couldn't imagine not seeing you ever again. Tonight was…well…I might need a few days to get past what happened between us but that doesn't mean I don't want to see you anymore."
"I really did try you know."
"I know but she's still with you and until you find a way to let her go then you can never be with another person."
"I know and maybe someday I can find a way to let her go but I don't think she will be leaving my head anytime soon. I'm glad I told you; now that you know I think you and I can still be friends if you are being truthful when you say you can put those feelings aside."
"I know I can. I couldn't before but now that I know the truth I am content to just have you as friend."
"Can I have a hug from my friend right now or would that be too much to ask for too soon?"
Hailey gets up and walks over to me as I stand up and she gives me a warm hug. I watch her put her jeans on and gather the rest of her things before I walk her to the front door.
"Get some sleep Jace. You should drink a glass of water and take two Tylenol as soon as you get up."
"I will, I promise. Thank you for taking such good care of me and thank you for being so understanding. You take as much time as you need and I'll answer when you call okay."
"Thanks Jace. For what it's worth; happy birthday."
"Goodnight Hailey."
"Night Jace."
After I empty my bladder; I flop onto my bed and hope that Hailey will find a way to get past what we did tonight and call me in few days. I end up crying myself to sleep over the guilt I feel for cheating on Clary.