Chapter 20

She had no idea what time it was when she woke. Being stuck in the windowless cell again, left her wondering what was to happen next. As she opened her eyes fully, a familiar and comforting sight greeted her. Ace, looking at her. She smiled. Mina could not say why the little bird had remained with her. It was strange that, of all the memories she claimed over and over were not her own, Ace was the one constant that felt really was hers. Having gone through a rough time almost forty eight hours ago, she really doubted the people who had made her a weapon and treated her like she did not matter. But, the people aboard this ship considered her important enough to try and help. They saw her as a person, not a weapon. She was someone to these people. To Leon, Takeo and the scientists, she was just a tool. That could be thrown away when no longer useful.

With a sigh Mina rolled onto her back. She hoped the people here, the ones who dominated her dreams, would not cast her aside. She had never truly felt like she belonged with the others. But here, in an odd sense she felt wanted and welcomed. Maybe not with open arms right now, but welcomed all the same. Treated like a regular human. Treated as an equal. Though some of the dreams were still spotty and fragmented with her memories of the facility, much more of it was locked into place now. Mina was certain, she had grown up in the facility as a weapon. But upon finding freedom and being taken in by those aboard this ship, she had found a much kinder environment. Vaguely Mina heard the door at the end of the hall open. Ace suddenly took flight, straight through the bars of the cell and left down the hall.

"Ah! Ace!" Mina was on her feet in a second, rushing the bars gripping them trying to peer down the hall "Ace! Ace come back! Ace!"

She couldn't hear her companion. Nor was he visible. It was not until that little bird had flown away and out of sight that way, that Mina realised just how much it meant to her. Suddenly she heard his call "Birdy!" followed by even footfalls coming closer. The figure came into view a few moments later. Athrun stood where he was and just looked at her. Ace perched upon his hand. Mina looked so different now. She looked much more like herself. The slight panic in her Garnet eyes, fearing Ace would not return to her. Could it be that Dearka was right? Had Mina finally worked through her issues? Mina watched him, her eyes locking onto his Jade orbs. It was hard not look upon him in a different way now. With her memories more intact, she realised how much she must have hurt him. With her offending comments before.

"Can I, have Ace back? Please?" Mina asked, her voice low but pleading.

"I wasn't taking him. He just came to greet me, that's all." Athrun replied, stepping closer.

"I...yes you told me that once before. I didn't mean anything by it." She said, as he got to the bars, Ace hopped through to her shoulder.

"See? He'll always return to you."

"Yes." Mina then looked at Athrun "So, have you come to tell me what they decided to do with me?"

"Not exactly." The guard arrived to open the door.

Once inside, the guard put cuffs on her, her hands in front of her. Then she was lead by Athrun and the guard to the flight deck. Along the way, they were all silent. One thought kept passing back and forth through her mind. It had to be done. Had to be made right. Even if it were rejected, she had to give it a try.

"Um, Athrun?" Mina said softly "I...I'm sorry, about before. The things I said, were wrong. I hope you can accept my apology."

It took several tense moments of no talking, just the three moving through the ship. Just before they entered the flight deck, Athrun turned to look at her. The guard knew this was where he would stop. The Admiral would take it from here. Those eyes seemed to penetrate Mina's and it made her feel chilled inside.

"Everyone feels that you should be able to have your say and answer some questions regarding your allegiances now." He told her "As for me, I can accept the apology, but, I'm not sure I can forgive you yet."

That stung worse than Mina could have ever imagined. How could she have been so cruel? All those times he had visited and spoken with her, yet she cut him with hurtful words, even with the kindness he had shown her. Turning to the door, Athrun opened it and lead her into the cavernous room. She could see her machine, and others too. But what got her attention most, was the large group of people waiting for her. They were all there. The people whom had talked to her over her weeks in that cell. The people she had met during her stay with the Athha-Ottada family. The ones she had thought of as friends. But now, it felt almost as though she were standing trial or something. Athrun led her to a seat, that faced everyone. Whether they sat at her level or higher up on crates. The cuffs remained on, though Lacus offered her a drink.

"Well then, shall we get this meeting started?" Murrue said suddenly "Mina, we brought you here this morning, so that we could all have a talk with you. To see what your feelings are now."

"To see where your allegiances lie." Mu added, from his spot beside his wife.

"We're not here to judge you at all." Lacus smiled.

"But it is important that you tell us your thoughts. What you feel right now?" Kisaka continued.

"What is it your fighting for now?" Kira said simply.

Yzak, Dearka and Athrun all stayed quiet. It felt like being under a microscope or having a lamp shone in your eyes during an interrogation. Mina felt a little squirmy under the pressure. Her gaze swept around the group, noting each face. It settled lastly on Athrun and he saw what looked like sadness within those eyes. With a deep breath and a moment to think about her choice of words, Mina began.

"I realise that all of you here have helped me more than once. And I understand now that I was not the nicest person, when I reappeared." Mina looked at her hands "The fact is, you were all right about me. I was two different people. Or rather, there were two entirely different sides to me. One hateful the other kind."

No one talked over her. No one made any sound. They just let her talk at her own pace.

"I don't recall exactly how old I was, when I was given up to be a lab experiment. My earliest memories are of pain, suffering and wishing I was dead. That was life for me at that facility. Being pushed to the limits everyday, jabbed with needles day in day out, with who knows what inside. It was terrifying in there. When the attack came, I broke out and ran. Just ran for my life. But when I came to you all, you were only seeing the frightened side of me."

"That is true." Yzak said, recalling how they had found her.

"Well, at that time my fear controlled me. It was like a cork stuck in a bottle, stopping the hatred from escaping and giving the side of me that never say daylight really, a chance to grow. I was happy, like that. But, Takeo came and tossed it all up in the air. Using that block word on me, like flicking a switch. I lost sight of the good part of me, and the bad took over again."

Her hands turned, palms up and open. She stared at them.

"I was so messed up, nothing made sense and everything seemed to be twisted. But, with time the sharp line between the two started to fade...and now, I have almost total control over my anger. I'm not as I was in the beginning, nor am I the same as when you all first met me. I am neither and yet I am both, kind of. But one thing I am certain of now..."

The group collectively seemed to hold it's breath.

"...I am Mina Kiyani, I have a BIRDY named Ace, I have skills that few other humans possess, I pilot a Gundam named the Guardian, I have killed many during battles, but I am not proud of that. I am not seeking revenge nor am I holding a grudge against anyone. But, I want to stop those bastards from doing unspeakable things to innocent children and fight for the right cause, to protect a world that has both the capacity for good and for evil within it. I am not a soldier for the Equatorial Union any longer. I am...I have gone rouge according to those who trained me, therefore I pledge to stop them. Even if it means sacrificing myself to achieve it. They must be stopped. And that is how I feel right now."

There was a long silence. It made her nervous. Finally Lacus got up and walked to her, leaning over and hugging her gently.

"Ah...Lacus..." Mina said with a stunned and quiet voice.

"It's alright now." Lacus told her "You don't have to worry about those cruel people anymore Mina. Your free to be whom you choose to be."

"Lacus..." Mina could not help the tears that flowed "I'm sorry...so sorry.."

Hugging her tighter, Lacus allowed Mina to cry freely. It would help, this much she knew. Kira had been there for her, when she had needed to cry. Just as she had been there for him as well. Murrue looked up at Mu, they shared a knowing smile. This was a break through. A sliver of hope. And they knew how best to nurture such hope. Kisaka felt this was a turning point. Things would be better now. Yzak finally gave in and acknowledged that Dearka had been right. Mina had changed. Kira simply smiled, glad of the positive outcome. Though when he looked to his best friend, he realised not all had been resolved. With a silent hand upon Athrun's shoulder, Kira let him know things would be alright and that he was there for him. Like always. Athrun turned his gaze away from Mina and Lacus, to look at Kira. That reassuring smile, eased his worry a bit. Andrew was quietly waiting for the right moment, to gently grill Mina for more Intel.

They could use all the assistance they could lay their hands on. Once Mina was done crying, Lacus helped to wipe her face with a handkerchief. She was certain that Mina would be just fine. Going back to Kira's side, she smiled. Murrue decided it was time they gave Mina the benefit of the doubt. Mu got to his feet and went to the girl, unlocking her cuffs. Mina rubbed her wrists gingerly. A big strong hand gripped her shoulder, looking up into those azure blue eyes, she read the message clear as a bell..."Don't betray our trust kid"...is what he was telling her. She nodded, affirming she got it. There was some low volume chatter, before Andrew cleared his throat. Everyone hushed, when they did he looked to Mina with his one good eye.

"So, your fighting along side us now?" He asked her casually "Any chance you could give us some details on that carrier? What did you call it..the Conqueror?"

"Captain Waltfeld, I don't think..." Murrue began to protest, but Mina raised her hand.

"It's alright captain, it's a fair question." Mina told her, then looking up at her machine she asked "Am I permitted to go to my machine?"

"What are you nuts!?" Yzak snapped.

"Yzak..." Dearka warned.

"What!? You wanna just give her free run of the ship Dearka!?" Yzak bit back.

"I'm not saying that, but you at least have to give her a second chance." Dearka countered.

"I have to agree with Yzak on this one kid." Mu stated, shrugging when his wife glared at him "What?"

"Mr La Flaga that is a bit narrow minded." Lacus said, trying to defend Mina.

"That may be so Lacus, but Mu and Yzak do have a good point." Kira interjected "Can we really put such trust in her so soon?"

"Look at this way, we are all here, can she really do anything?" Kisaka posed the thought aloud.

"Alright, alright! Settle down everyone." Murrue commanded "Mina, why would you need to go to it?"

"It's because of the data. Isn't it?" Athrun suddenly said, looking at her.

"Yes." With a nod she went on "My machine holds data pertaining to the Conqueror and to the other machines, the Demon and the Seraphim. If someone has a computer handy we can download the information to it."

"I see, well if your willing to share that information with us, I think we can allow you to your machine." Murrue answered, shocking all the men "But, with supervision of course."

"Now that sounds like a plan to me." Mu announced, then looked around the men present "Who volunteers?"

There was a moment of laughter. It seemed to ease the tension in the air.

"I'll do it." Kira said, picking up the nearest computer "C'mon, we should get started on it."

"Okay." Mina stood up and followed Kira, pausing by the captain "Thank you Captain La Flaga, for understanding."

"Right." Murrue nodded.

Andrew, Mu and Murrue left for the bridge, to further discuss tactical measures. Yzak was talking with Kisaka about the best way he thought the M1's could be deployed while in battle situations. Lacus moved to stand beside Athrun, just as Dearka said something to him in a hushed tone. The expression on Athrun's face afterwards, caused Lacus some concern. Standing side by side, they watched Kira and Mina going into the cockpit of the Guardian. Lacus then looked at Athrun. His eyes betrayed a little of his emotions. Though he rarely let on to others what he was feeling. But Lacus could tell, his feelings towards Mina were in turmoil right now.

"Athrun, it's okay not to know what to feel." Lacus said suddenly, making him blink and look at her "A lot has passed between the two of you as of late. Give it time, wounds will heal and then you'll be able to see the path your to take much more clearly."

"Lacus..." Athrun frowned "Am I supposed to just forgive her? Or am I supposed to just forget her?"

"Athrun, only you can decide that. Your heart may hurt right now, but in time, you'll know what choice is the right one." Lacus smiled, so sweet and yet so very wise.

"I just...can't seem to shake this feeling, that I could have done something to stop her." He sighed.

"It's not your fault Athrun. Please do not blame yourself." Lacus placed a caring hand on his arm "Believe in yourself and in your own heart. It will guide you down the correct path."

As Lacus walked away, towards the Guardian, Athrun thought about what she had just told him. She always managed to surprise him with her wisdom. He could see Kira, sat on the hatch opening, tapping away at the computer on his lap. Lacus called up to him, saying she was going to the bridge to send a communiqué to Cagalli, to let her know what was happening. Even after Lacus was gone, Athrun still stood, watching, listening and wondering. What was the correct next move? His thoughts were so turned around. Logically, he should distance himself from her. But his heart said otherwise and thus was the battle raging within himself. To forgive and forget or to call it quits? Athrun had proclaimed some years ago, that he was not the type of person to give up.

And with that memory, he made his choice.

~~~X~~~