"Cartman, what are you wearing?"
Cartman blinked and looked down at himself. "A shirt and a pants, what does it look like?" he said cautiously, wary of Kenny's intentions.
Kenny rolled his eyes and said, "I can see that, retard. I meant why are you wearing an orange shirt with purple pants?"
Cartman looked at Kenny warily, then down at himself again and said, "What do you know about fashion? You wear the same parka every day."
"It's like my trademark, Cartman. Plus the girls will rip me to pieces if I take it off." Kenny said, somewhat cockily. "You, on the other hand, have no trademark. Except your fatness."
"Ay!"
"So you need to dress like a celebrity, not like a blind pirate." Kenny said, completely ignoring Cartman's sudden huffiness. He started to unbutton Cartman's shirt, making him blush furiously.
"What do you think you're doing poor boy?" Cartman said, jumping back from Kenny's unwelcome touches. Kenny rolled his eyes and said, "I'm helping you out. Stay still."
- - -
Thirty minutes later, Cartman walked out of the bus with Kenny. He met up with the rest of Moop at the restaurant they were supposed to be at. They got paid thousands of dollars for appearances.
Stan got up from the booth he and Kyle were sharing and said, "Where have you been- whoa. You look different, Cartman." Kyle grinned and wolf-whistled. "Looking good, fatass. Got a hot date?"
Cartman tugged at the silky grey shirt he had put on at Kenny's suggestion self-consciously. "Yeah, with your mom, Jew. Sit down and shut up."
They had all sat down already and were about to order their food when people started noticing exactly who had walked in. Stan and Kyle were still grinning when a small girl approached them and asked for an autograph.
She held up a napkin and the boys each took turns signing it. When it got to Cartman the girl said softly, "I like your shirt." and grabbed the napkin from Cartman's outstretched hand. She ran off, probably back to her parents table.
Stan and Kyle were laughing. Kenny was grinning, proud of his fashion skills. Stan said a bit too loudly for Cartman's taste, "Seems like you got yourself a girlfriend, fatass."
"I like your shirt!" Kyle said in a falsetto voice."
Cartman rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "Hahaha, you guys are laugh riots. Can we order now? I'm fucking starving."
Cartman wasn't secretly pleased at all the attention he was getting.
Really.
Go away now.
- - -
A/N: For Posey, who requested I credit her as such. o.o
There are so many requests, you guys are proper eager. I'm working from the first requests I received, so it might take a while for me to get to yours.