Required Disclaimer: Do I have any ownership of the Kim Possible universe—legally, economically, or creatively? NO! Can I or am I make any money or barter for goods from this work of fanfiction? NO! (Cue Songfic disclaimer…)
No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no
Nobody can do
Kim Possible!
Like they do
No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no
Nobody can do
Ron Stoppable!
Like they do
No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no
Nobody can do
Dr. Drakken!
Like they do
No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no
Nobody can do
The Mad Dogs!
Like they do
Well don't you know I ain't no Disney
I ain't Mark McCorkle
Not Bob Schooley
Nobody but me
Just writin' fanfic, I'm doin'
Ain't nobody payin'
not payin' me, baby
Nothin' for me
Well let me tell you no money
No money for me
Well let me tell you
Nobody, nobody, nobody, etc.*
(*To the tune of "Nobody But Me" by the Human Beinz)
Chapter Twenty One – Alpha and Omega
Her headband was totally soaked and beads of sweat had begun to roll down her forehead and into her eyes. She shook her head, sending a spray of drops in every direction while her blonde hair, tied back in a thick ponytail, whipped about and blotted her face of the excess moisture.
That didn't solve the problem for the rest of her lithe form where perspiration had painted black crescents on her grey sports bra beneath her arms and breasts and wicked through her gym socks, shorts, and shoes. Her arms and legs glistened and her torso gleamed as the bare bulb hanging from the basement ceiling picked up the highlights off her twisting, flexing flesh.
A hot shower, she thought, followed by a long, luxurious bubble bath. But...ten more minutes, she promised herself. If Global Justice was set to tap the former Middleton High cheerleader pool for some sort of Kim substitute, she wanted her audition to be the best.
She attacked the bag again with a combination of lefts and rights, her gloved hands smacking the weighted canvas in a flurry of blows. Then a changeup as she threw in some side kicks, alternating with back and forth spin kicks for good measure. Then back to the punches, now punctuated by spinning forearm strikes and finally putting a period to it with a jump kick.
Now the bag and the floor around it were damp from her exertions.
She stopped to rehydrate, tucking her glove under her other arm and slid her hand out to pick up her water bottle.
If the international police organization was looking for a Kim replacement did that mean that they knew something? Was Kim not coming back?
More importantly, was Ron not coming back?
Because the main reason she was doing all of this—carb-loading and working out like a fiend and martial arts cross-training and having no personal life (outside of that aborted blind date)—God!—was the chance to be teamed up with the boy with the Milk Dud eyes!
She was so shy, she made Tara look like an extrovert.
She'd probably only spoken a half dozen words to him over the whole four years he'd hung out around the cheer squad.
And what would have been the point, anyway?
Yeah, Bonnie would have ragged her ass the way she did Tara's when the other blonde looked at Ron and started getting that look in her eyes every so often.
But Bonnie was small potatoes next to Kim. What was the point of trying to talk to a guy who hung out with a super-achiever hottie like Kim Freakin' Possible? If she had spoken up…asked him out…or even just suggested a study date, he would have laughed at her. If he even noticed her to begin with. And she was too shy, too self conscious to put herself out there.
Oh, a lot of people would have laughed to think that a cheerleader—practically the apex of the high school food chain—would be, could actually be shy.
Insecure.
Introverted.
Timid.
Even bashful.
What so many people didn't know was that sometimes the people who seemed the most confident in front of a crowd…were the least confident when alone with one other person.
Sometimes the ones who appeared to be the most accomplished…were the ones who felt that they had the most to prove.
If Global Justice picked her for the Possibilities Project then maybe…just maybe…she would be paired with Ron Stoppable!
And then it wouldn't look like she was making any moves on him…
…until he had a chance to really see her as a partner.
"Jess!" her mother called down the stairs, interrupting her reverie, "your phone!"
"I'll call them back." I'm kind of ripe and I should do just five more minutes…
"Sorry, I already answered it. It's your cousin."
"Which—?" Oh. That cousin. She'd have to take it. She splashed the contents of the bottle up under both arms and grabbed her towel on the way up the stairs.
RSVP
"What kind of a hospital is this?" Bonnie Rockwaller cried. "There are giant rats roaming the hallway!"
"There's only one and it's not a rat," Tara remonstrated. "It's a Chihuahua and it's precious!" She knelt down and softly clapped her hands. "Here, boy! Come here. Are you lost?"
The two "X-ray techs" gave each other a look and then eased the gurney over to the bed. Or tried to, at least: their way was suddenly blocked by three attractive women in nurse's scrubs.
"Who wrote the orders for this procedure?" Dede demanded.
"We will have to verify and crosscheck your paperwork," Cece advised.
"And we will need to know the purpose for taking him to Radiology at this time," Bebe finished.
"I think I can answer those two questions," a new voice spoke from the doorway. It was deep and melodious and belonged to a large man with a moustache and goatee. "But I'm afraid you are going to be disappointed by the paperwork." He wore a purple and white bodysuit, similar to the ones worn by the faux orderlies, but without the matching skullcap and Greek letter chest insignia.
Vivian shrank back. "Oh my God! It—it—can't be! You!"
"Ah, Dr. V.F. Porter…" He clasped his hands behind his back and stepped across the threshold. "…I see that my reputation precedes me!"
The blonde roboticist frowned and leaned forward for another look. "Wait a minute…you're not Orson Welles! Besides, he's dead!"
The differences between this visitor and the dead actor/director became more apparent at second glance: he wore an eye patch over his left eye and a metal glove over his right hand. "I am Gemini," he proclaimed, "and W.W.E.E. has come to collect my Agent Alpha!"
Bonnie Rockwaller was in a foul mood. Worried over Ron's condition and miffed that Tara wasn't the only hurdle to laying claim to the former Mad Dog mascot; she stood and planted her hands on her hips. "Syntax, Mister Horoscope! It's 'we have come' not "we has come.' And who the hell is Alfalfa?"
The big man grimaced. "Not "we' we…"
The little dog shivered expectantly.
"…but 'W.W.E.E.' WWEE! The World Wide Evil Empire! And it's Agent. Alpha. You. Twit!"
Bonnie turned her head aside and sniffed disdainfully. "I don't watch wrestling."
"We are not a wrestling organization!" he shouted.
"Don't you mean W.W.E.E. is not a wrestling organization?" Tara giggled.
"Oh, for heavens sake! We—W.W.E.E., that is—are—IS—the villainous counterpart to Global Justice!"
The tiny, trembling Chihuahua suddenly spazzed out in a frenzy of barking and bouncing convulsions.
The big man turned around and scooped up the tiny dog into his large arms. "Ooooh, sorry, Pepe! Daddy didn't mean to say those naughty words! He'll put a whole dollar into the GJ Jar this time!" And he gave a nod to the two henchmen with the gurney.
Both attempted to push through the trio of "nurses" standing between them and Ron's bed.
Both went flying across the room and creating largish dents in the far wall.
"We protect Ron Stoppable," Dede said.
"We serve Ron Stoppable," Cece said.
"We are ready to get Freaky!" Bebe said.
The other two looked at her. "What?" she said.
"Ah," the big man said, "I shouldn't be surprised. Middleton's leading robotics expert keeping watch over The Ron Factor. Who could hope to win going up against a trio of cybernetic security drones?" he asked, placing his metal-gloved hand against his chest. "I don't know…maybe…me?" He extended his arm and pointed at Dede in the middle.
His fingertip sprouted tiny fins, turned into a small missile, and shot out of his metal index finger.
It didn't quite reach the metal maid before it fell to the floor.
"Gee," Bonnie smirked, as everyone watched the brunette robot pick up the spent missile, "this is the first time anybody ever gave me the finger and I wanted to laugh."
There was a sudden flash and a sound like: BaMpF!
The lights in the room went out and all three B-bots keeled over and hit the floor.
RSVP
Jessica!
"Hey, Tina!" the former Middleton High cheerleader said, mopping her chest and stomach with her towel.
Long time no see!
"I'm not the one with a private jet!" She giggled.
Well, how about if I use it to fly down and see you next week?
"Aren't you on tour?'
Final week. Then I get some much needed down time!
"I'll be you're exhausted!"
Yeah. Some. But it's not just a physical thing. I need downtime to recharge my creative batteries. And, to do that, I need to get out of The Bubble. Am I still your cousin 'Tina'?
"Silly, you've always been my cousin Tina."
I mean, if I put on the dark wig and glasses, will I still be incognito?
"Yeah, sure. Nobody knows that my brunette cousin Tina is actually the platinum blonde pop star Britina. It's like almost a Disney sitcom or something."
I'm surprised that you've kept my secret for so long.
"Surprised that I could? Or surprised that I would?"
Don't take it the wrong way. But you would probably get a lot more attention if people knew that we were cousins.
"Yeah, wouldn't that be great," she answered sarcastically. "Then I'd never know if my friends liked me for me—or for the opportunity to get closer to Britina. The girls would be bad enough but the guys—I've already had enough trouble finding a stand up guy who isn't always looking for something better to come along."
Not just you, Jessie. Even pop stars get lonely for the real deal. I think Nicky Nick just saw me as another career-building project and photo op. Show biz is full of fakes and wanna-bes. And ordinary guys don't want the real you, they want the fantasy.
"Gee, I never thought that being popular could make you lonely."
I am lonely! Hey, maybe you could set up your out-of-town cousin on a blind date when I get in next month…
"I don't know, B. I'm kinda busy right now and it's kept me out of the social scene lately."
Come on, you must know some decent guys. Hey, how about that friend of Kim Possible's?
"I—uh—don't know who you mean…"
Sure you do. Ron. Ron Stoppable.
Jessica frowned. "Since when do you know his name?"
Come on, Jessie; I've like already met the guy twice.
"Yeah. I heard you turned him down for a date the first time you met him and then couldn't even remember his name when he and Kim were trying to get you out of prison on those false theft charges."
There was silence on the other end of the line.
"He was nobody to you until he saved the planet. Now you can remember his name? Now you want somebody to fix you up with him? This visit to hang out with your cousin is just a way to get closer to him! Now who's a show biz fake and wanna-be?"
I'm sorry, Jess. But why are you so tweaked over it? What's so awful about my wanting to—to—omygod! You want him, too! Don't you? Don't you!
"Fine! You want a date with my high school friend Ron? I'll set you up right now. I'm putting you on park while I call Ron and set it up. You can listen in once we're connected. Hold on…" Jessica scrolled through her contacts list and hit the number she wanted. She clicked Britina back into three-way mode as the other number began to ring.
Hello?
"Hey, is this Ron?"
Speaking.
"It's Jessica. Remember me? From Middleton High?"
The blonde cheerleader, right? With the freckles? And the big—
"Careful now!"
—blue eyes? What?
"Nothing. Hey, my cousin Tina's coming to visit in a couple of weeks and I was wondering if you'd be interested in taking her out some evening. Show her around Middleton…"
Is she as pretty as you?
"Oh. Prettier! If you—uh—like brunettes." Jessica giggled.
Well, sure. I guess.
"Great! Then I'll call you when she gets in and we can set something up."
Okay. Sure.
"Well, see you later, Ron."
You bet, Jessica. Bye.
"Bye."
And as Ron Reager hung up, Jessica smirked and said to her cousin: "There. You're all locked in on your date with my friend Ron from high school…"
RSVP
Vivian looked at the fallen robots and then at the smoking finger missile back on the floor. "EMP device…" she said dully.
"That's right, my dear. I came prepared, you see. Even if the electromagnetic pulse doesn't fry their circuits permanently, a reboot will take too long to interfere with this operation!"
"Operation!" Tara shrieked. "You asshole! This is a hospital! You interfere with the electronic systems in this building and people will die!"
Gemini shrugged. "Well, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. After all, we are W.W.E—URK!" The big man went down as a hundred-and-ten pounds of platinum fury launched herself across the room and sucker-punched him in the groin.
Pepe went flying.
He landed on Ron where he began to growl menacingly.
Bonnie leaned over the fierce little canine. "Global Justice!" she shouted. "Global Justice! Global Justice!"
Pepe folded himself into a little ball and promptly went catatonic.
"Agent Omega," Gemini shouted in an ascending falsetto as Tara continued to pummel him. "Reinforcements! Attac—OOF!"
The door burst open and more purple-and-white suited goons began to flood into the room.
Bonnie somersaulted over the hospital bed to execute a classic cheer landing to the top of a three-person pyramid. The two WWEE henchmen she landed on weren't trained in Mad Dog cheerleader routines so they went down, each with a foot on their faces.
Tara executed a leg sweep that tripped two more as they tried to rush around their fallen leader.
Vivian reached into her purse and extracted a stun gun. Firing off a series of mini-darts, she managed to tag four more goons. Two of them smiled as they realized the darts had no wires attached. Then Viv pressed a button on the weapon, lighting up tiny red LEDs on the darts. A millisecond later the gun broadcast a tight beam electrical signature that discharged through the darts taking the quartet down in a shimmying, shaking dance to unconsciousness.
It wasn't enough.
More henchmen tried to pile into the room, getting jammed up at the narrow doorway, and pushing the women back past the bed. Two of them helped their leader stagger back up to his feet and he extended his metal hand toward the three women.
The index finger missile had already reloaded another digit. The middle and ring fingers had also developed tiny fins at the last joint and looked ready to fire. Gemini spread his fingers so that one fingertip missile was pointed at each of the women with his thumb and pinky to spare. The room went still.
"I'm going to kill you all," he snarled softly. "You," he told Vivian, "because you can't be allowed to send your robots after me." He turned to Bonnie. "You for abusing my poor Pepe…poor, poor, Pepe…is Daddy's little baby all—" His attention snapped back to Tara. "And you, for injuring Gemini's 'twins'."
"Tara was defiant. "Not just the nutsack, Nutjob, but I got your poor little Pepe—I mean poor little peepee—really good, too. I hope you piss blood all week!"
Bonnie's jaw dropped. "Tara?"
"Stuff it Bon Bon! Captain Rocketfingers here may have just killed everyone in the ICU and Surgery with that EMP thingy. If he's going to kill us I say we jump him now and see if one of us gets lucky!"
Bonnie smiled. It was her Evil Smile Number Four-B: the one that struck terror in the hearts of all freshmen cheerleaders when the Alternate Captain wanted to introduce a new "routine." She cracked her knuckles and tilted her head to crack her neck with an audible pop. "I heard that he kidnapped Ronnie a couple of years ago and almost killed him. If he gets me, first…bite 'em off, T!"
Gemini yawned. "Talk to the hand, bitches." He gestured insouciantly and prepared to fire.
"Talk to the bedpan, Shelly!"
Gemini glanced at Vivian. "What?"
She shrugged and shook her head.
There was a gong-like sound and a stainless steel helmet suddenly appeared on the supervillain's head. Gemini's eye rolled back and, as he dropped to the floor, another face with an eye patch appeared in his place. "You may surrender to Global Justice," Dr. Director announced, "by walking out to the parking lot with your hands over your heads…or you can stay and fight to the death with fifty embedded GJ agents. Ten seconds; your choice." She folded her arms across her increasingly perky bosom.
That distraction cost the purple-and-white clad henchmen a few seconds of their decision time but, in the end, all meekly complied and began the march to the elevators.
"Ah ah ah!" Shego remonstrated from the doorway, "stairways only." She held up a scary-looking instrument that looked like a cross between a torture device and a plumbers snake. "I've got a procto-scope and I'm not afraid to use it!" The look on her face suggested she was heavily into experimentation and creativity.
The line of surrendering henchmen suddenly became more orderly.
As the last man hit the halfway mark down the hallway Betty turned and said: "Help me get Mr. Stoppable onto the gurney!"
"Why are we moving him?" Bonnie wanted to know.
"Because there are no other Global Justice agents out there," Betty said. "Shego and I were on our way up to visit when we saw Sheldon's goons headed in the same direction. I don't know how long it will be before they figure out that we're alone and come running back."
"You go ahead," Vivian said as she knelt between Cece and Dede. "I'm going to try to reboot the B-bots. We'll need the additional firepower if they return."
"Oh my gosh!" Tara exclaimed. The EMP probably powered down the whole hospital! I should go down to the ICU and see if they need help!"
"We shouldn't separate, right now," Betty said. "It's not safe for any of us."
"Yeah," Bonnie agreed, delivering a well-aimed kick to Gemini's "geminis". "Not safe for any of us."
"Betts," Shego stepped forward. "Let me try something."
Betty saw the look in her eyes and nodded briefly. "All right. But hurry."
Shego walked to the bed, peeling off her gloves as she went. Tucking them through a small loop at her hip, she placed her right hand on Ron's forehead and closed her eyes.
A minute passed.
Then two.
"Sheila…"
"Shhhhhh…" Slowly, she raised her left hand and held it, palm outward, with the fingers splayed.
Pepe stirred between Ron's knees and growled.
"Global Justice!" Bonnie hissed.
A yelp and all was quiet.
Shego's left hand began to glow with a greenish nimbus of light. A few sparks arced out from her palm.
She murmured something unintelligible and then sat on the bed without breaking contact with Ron's forehead. "Help me sit him up," she whispered.
Two pairs of hands propped him up while Shego unzipped her catsuit with her free hand. Then she pulled Ron into an embrace, leaning his forehead against her chest as she slid her right hand around to the back of his head. She murmured something close to his ear and it sounded as if he answered with a sigh.
Again she raised her left hand and turned it outward.
The glow was more immediate this time.
Brighter.
And more blue than green.
The room lights flickered.
Went off.
Came on.
Stayed on.
The B-bots twitched and began to sit up.
Shego lowered her left hand and caught Ron in a full embrace. Slowly she lowered him back down to his pillow.
Both of them were smiling, now.
And Ron began to lightly snore.
ABOUT THE TITLE: "Alpha and Omega" is a phrase based on the first amd last letters of the Greek alphabet that mean "The Beginning and the End." In this chapter, Sheldon has come to make Ron his "Agent Alpha" and, when attacked, calls on his Agent Omega to send in reinforcements.
Authors/Notes:
This chapter (and section of the story) is a little more fun for me as we're getting to know some of the cheerleaders a little better and watching them step up in Kim's absence.
While it may seem like there's nothing for anyone to "step up" for, trust me: something bad is coming and no one is ready for it, yet...
REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER 21
Wanderer3 6/13/11 . chapter 21
Uuum...what the hell was that? *he says aloud in with great confusion, at the scene at the end of the chapter with the flicker lights*
Other than that, still good work with everything.
Gotta Blast!
Stay tuned: the answer is coming right up in the next chapter. R~13
Pavelius 6/13/11 . chapter 21
Ah poor Pepe... leave it to Bonnie to get people or animals into a fit with words only...
As for the previous chapters and the shipping... i am slowly giving up on Yori (its been an awfully long time now) and i am tending towards Ron & Shego more and more... your statement towards the Harem-theory is true, but it doesnt rule out the harem completly...
Well, everything takes a long time in this story and, yes, nothing is ruled out completely…
Anyway it is your story , you will make things working
I don't know…I'm beginning to wonder about that…
For RSVP ... i thought it was "Responsé sille vous plaizé"? Anyway... we will see..
Keep it coming, Pavel
Thanks, man! And your guess regarding the title? Almost there...about 90%... R~13
CajunBear73 6/13/11 . chapter 21
Well Shelly's been thwarted for now... But he never figured on being taken down like that. Go Girls!
Tara and Bonnie acquitted themselves well here, and it's a good thing Tara hasn't taken that Hippocratic Oath yet or she wouldn't have been able to 'do no harm'... with Shelly.
And Bonnie's dealing with Pepe, and Tara's slip about the other p-word was funny too.
Now to see how perky Betty and recharged Shego make out now that Ron seems to be about to wake up sooner than later.
CB73
Yeah, Ron's about to get a couple of different wake-up calls… R~13
sh8ad8ow 6/13/11 . chapter 21
good chapter please continue
Thanks sh8ad8ow; I will for as long as enough readers are interested! Or I reach the end first, of course. Or die, I suppose… R~13
Harbinger Of Kaos 6/13/11 . chapter 21
Well if this story go harem, which is my vote, that or Shego, Vivian or Anne.
Then the title could be RonShegoVivianPossible (Whether Kim or Anne is anyones guess) either way this is a kick ass story.
Ooooh! A very different and clever theory regarding the "RSVP" title! But that wasn't what I was thinking when I selected the title originally. Even if it does turn out to be Ron/Shego/Vivian/Possible(s) by the time we're through… R~13
yoyoyoyo 6/14/11 . chapter 21
i vote for ron/kim
Ah, another monogamist! Your vote has been tallied! R~13
Sentinel103 2/16/12 . chapter 21
A little action here. Now I think Bon Bon might want to spend some time practicing kicking targets and in Sheldon's case are probably very large and swelling targets too.
Bonnie has the potential to be "Faith" to Kim's "Buffy." Oops, wrong fandom. R~13
warfolomei 6/26/12 . chapter 21
O.O Well no point in going to sleep anymore. Might as well read the rest.
A good night's sleep might serve you better. Some of my more wide-awake readers have missed major clues... ;-) R~13
JDSeay 6/30/13 . chapter 21
this story keeps getting better with each additional chapter im game for the harem but i really want it to be tara/bonnie more i can see those two with him
I like it when my readers express a preference for certain characters. But I love it when they get into the details of who belongs with whom and, more specifically, why. R~13
Some Dude 8/26/13 . chapter 21
Damn, Ron's knocked out and still getting luckier than... ain't that a bitch!
Sometimes, under these circumstances, it's better to be knocked out than fully awake... R~13
Uberscribbler chapter 21 . 7/9/14
That was, hands down, the most *ridiculous* set of events I could envision.
So far, that is: there are many more chapters to come... grin
It belongs on Disney Channel, in an actual episode of "Kim Possible". Everything, from Sheldon acting like the late Frank Gorshen on acid to Pepe going catatonic at the words "Global Justice", just screams This Should Have Been In An Episode Of "Kim Possible"!
It was...but they censored it before it could air. I was just lucky enough to get my hands on a copy of the script! ;-)
In other words, the author has captured the simultaneous seriousness and inherent silliness of the source material. AND managed to do justice to every one of the characters therein.
I kick myself for not catching it all in previous readings. Just goes to show you: never under-estimate the author.
Or trust him, either! As soon as you do, He'll trip you, pour a can of diet coke on your head, and give you a wedgie! (I've seen him do it!)
Onwards to the next chapter.
Here, let me walk behind you...R~13