CHAPTER 21

He slowly sips the hot coffee out of the take away container as he stares out the window. His heart feels constricted and the uncertainty of the conversation that's about to happen is making him feel uneasy.

He thinks back to the events that led up to this moment…

Since their picnic, they have grown so much closer, but life had grown so much harder for the woman he loves. If the side-effects she was experiencing before the picnic were bad, they became way worse the more she went for treatment.

Good days had become a luxury for her, but he was there supporting her whichever way he could because he needed her to fight, he needed for her to understand that he wanted her to find a reason to fight, that maybe he could be a reason for her to fight.

He loved her and even though he hadn't actually admitted it to Felicity yet, everyone could see it. Donna and Thea had been encouraging him to tell Felicity, but he hadn't felt that the moment was right yet. There was so much going on and the last thing he wanted was to add something as big as that to the mixture when she might not be ready to hear it.

He'd noticed a few changes in her lately. At first he thought it was his imagination but then it started happening more frequently. Irritability, mood swings and lots of frustration – those were all part of the side-effects and it was completely understandable. With everything that she had been dealing with ever since she found out she was sick, it's a wonder these things hadn't surfaced earlier.

The fact that she was feeling sick the whole time made it difficult to try and help her fulfill the last remaining items on her 'bucket list'. Thankfully Thea gave him a beyond brilliant idea with one of their early morning coffee runs.

Since he'd been going over to Felicity's after work every night, it left little to no time to spend time with his sister. So she started surprising him by arriving with coffee every morning and then they'd jog together before he had to head out to work. He treasured their new found relationship and she became a confidant and surprisingly she had very good advice.

He never wanted to use his trust fund money because of what happened with his dad, but making Felicity's dreams come true, was a very good reason to start using it – it almost felt like atonement for what happened with his dad, like he was using the money for 'good'.

He had a quick chat with Dr. Isaacs during Felicity's treatment earlier the week and after the go ahead from her doctor the plan was a-go.

He was extremely excited and he couldn't wait to share the surprise with Felicity. He just wasn't sure if he should do it tonight, since it was her second last treatment before they would start with the tests to see if it worked.

He got ready for his last customer of the day, and couldn't wait for the last jump to be over so he could go and see his girl. His beautiful blonde girl – he stared into nothingness as he thought about the woman he loved when his phone rang. His heart nearly stopped when he saw Curtis's name appear on his screen. It was his turn to take Felicity to her treatment and she should have been home by now. Come to think of it, he hadn't received any message from her to inform him she was home like she always did.

"Curtis? Is everything okay?" he hesitantly answered, not sure what to expect.

"Hi Oliver. Actually…I know you have a hectic schedule but is there a way we could meet for a quick coffee?"

"I have a client that's arriving within the next five minutes, but what about after? Let's say in about two hours? Will you be able to make that?"

"Yes, I'm free for the rest of the day."

"Curtis? Is Felicity okay?"

"Yes, she's home safe, but I'm not sure if she's okay though. I don't want to worry you and maybe it's nothing, but I'd rather speak to you in person."

"I understand. I'll see you later."

They ended the call and even though he tried to keep an open mind, all sorts of scenarios were playing out in his mind. There's nothing Oliver hated more than uncertainty and this was exactly what he was feeling.

The jump couldn't have gone quicker and before he knew it, he was on his way to Starbucks as arranged with Curtis.

As he stares out the window the scenarios keep on turning in his head and it makes him crazy not knowing what's going on. He's just about to phone Curtis, when his new friend walks through the door.

He takes a seat opposite Oliver, but he looks anything but happy.

"Hi Oliver, sorry I'm late, I had to handle a crisis at the lab and since Felicity's not there…let's just say I'm learning new things every day."

Oliver gives him a weak smile and pushes the vanilla latte forward to Curtis.

"Thank you, I need this today." he smiles back, taking a sip.

"So…tell me what's going on. It's been driving me crazy since you called."

"I know you spend way more time with Felicity than I do, that's why I rather wanted to speak to you instead of Donna…Felicity's been acting strange lately."

"Strange how?"

"Well, for one she's been way more irritable than normal and her mood swings quite literally give me whip lash, but I know it's part of the whole side-effects thing, that's why I haven't said anything or quite frankly react towards her when she's like that because I know Felicity, and this is not her."

Oliver only nods, thinking about how he's picked up on it as well, but he doesn't disclose anything yet.

"So, since last week, a new component has come into the mix. She's become very distant towards me. She barely talks to me and I'm not expecting her to talk the whole time, but the things we normally talk about and things she used to ask me to help her with…let's just say I found out last week that she called her assistant at QC to go and buy stuff for her that I normally do."

"Maybe she just feels like she's inconveniencing you Curtis, it doesn't mean that she's distant."

"True, but…you know that 'rule'" he gestures the inverted commas next to his head with his index fingers, "about no one being allowed in the room with her, that it's actually a made up rule for her mom because she drives her crazy while she's in the room?"

"Yes?"

"Well, normally Felicity and I would work through some science geek magazines and things that keep her occupied during that time. So today, I went into the cafeteria like a I always do to get some coffee and sour worms and when I approach her room, the nurse tells me that Felicity requested me to stay in the waiting area."

The crease between Oliver's eyes deepens. He has no idea what to make of this information. This doesn't sound right. Curtis has been the one Felicity has confided in since the beginning. It makes no sense that she would push him away like that.

"Did she say anything on your way home?"

"No nothing. She was silent all the way home, and I also didn't push. When we stopped at her apartment and I tried to open the door for her to help her out and into her house, she pushed my arm away and told me she was fine, I could go home…and that's when I decided to call you, because I have no idea what I did for her to react this way."

"Okay, I hear what you're saying and you're right. This isn't like Felicity. Do you know if she's done anything like this towards Donna?"

"No, I haven't spoken to Donna about this. I wanted to speak to you first, because I can't really tell her what I told you now and not hurt her feelings about Felicity not wanting her in the room with her."

Oliver nods, thinking about the information he just received.

"Okay Curtis. Thank you for telling me. I've also been picking up small things, but nothing as major as what you've just told me, so I'll monitor the situation more closely and maybe also just give Donna a courtesy call tonight to find out if anything has happened to her."

"I'm worried about her Oliver. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't think it would be this bad."

"I know. I don't think we have any idea really what she's going through and what she needs to deal with. Maybe the thought that the treatment didn't work is weighing on her? I don't know, but all we can do is to continue showing her we are there to support her, we love her and that she's not alone."

"I agree. Please let me know what you find out."

They give each other a hug and Oliver heads for his car. He doesn't waste time and immediately dials Donna's number.

"Hello?" she answers.

"Hi Donna, it's Oliver."

"Oh, hi Oliver!" she yells over the phone and Oliver is relieved he isn't holding the headset to his ear.

The screeching sound dies down and immediately her voice turns serious.

"Is my baby okay? Is anything wrong?"

"Yes, yes, everything's okay Donna, there's no problem."

"That's wonderful news." he can hear the relief in her voice.

"Donna, why I'm calling…I…I wanted to know if you've picked up anything strange about Felicity's behaviour these last couple of weeks?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, has she been acting strange? Maybe out of character of some sorts?"

"Actually I haven't spoken to Felicity in two weeks Oliver."

There's complete silence and Oliver's head spins with the information. It doesn't make sense. How could she not have spoken to her daughter in two weeks?

"How? Donna, how could you not have spoken to Felicity in two week when you have taken her to treatment twice these last two weeks?"

"No I haven't."

"Then how did she get to the medical center on the days you were assigned?"

"She called me last week and told me that you've made arrangements to take her on those days. I didn't question her, because I know she's fragile. It hurt me though, because it feels like she's pushing me away, but if you're what she needs right now, then I'm not going to stand in the way of that. I tried to phone her a few times, but she never answers my calls."

"Donna…I didn't take her to the treatment either…"