Barry came home from work the next day, excited. There was a position available at his store, and he had already talked to his boss about Casey. Her less than enthused response was curbed when Barry told her it was a part time back stocking position, customer interaction level: zero.
Casey sighed and took the application. What reason did she have not to?
Barry moved around her, full of brightness and warmth and she could feel him trying to cheer her up. She could sense the careful worry and in some ways she hated it.
She hadn't chosen this. Hadn't chosen to put the shadow of knowledge in the back of his gaze, that hesitancy in his touch. Her secrets had been peeled from her, jotted into steno pads, filed into a report. She hadn't decided they could know. They decided for her. And Casey was angry.
But she hid it away behind unrelenting schedules and pleasant eyes. Barry wasn't completely buying it, but he let Casey pretend anyway.
He was so hopeful, they would catch her uncle, he would rot in prison and sweet justice would be served.
Casey knew better, but Barry had a way of wearing on a person and before long a tiny spot of that hope wormed its way into Casey. She tried to rip it out even as it began to sprout. She wondered how long before she regretted it.
Hedwig passed the hours before her, fun and bright and Casey let herself be pulled along. It was odd. Hedwig's control over the light had shifted since the beast's disappearance. He could take it, it seemed, whenever he wanted now. It annoyed Barry to no end, trying to force the boy to remember to share, to take turns, but he was quickly learning that while Hedwig obeyed the other alters to a "t", he had never really taken Barry seriously.
Casey was worried the boy would make a muss of things at work, but thankfully he found the place so mind numbingly boring, he avoided it all together.
Not that Casey blamed him. Her first monotonous day had shaved away at her soul.
But it was a job and she was grateful. Her shifts were shorter than the other's, but they began at the same time. Casey could ride to work together, then walk home or just pick Barry up at the end of the shift. It had only been a couple days, but it was working.
No matter what she did, though, there was never enough. Work ended, chores were finished and there was always that time before sleep that Casey's thoughts opened into the shadows and pulled her into aching silence.
Her fingers traced a scar on her hip, following the path of them. One for every secret. One for every time.
She wondered what would have happened if Jade hadn't come in. If her uncle hadn't been stopped. Would she have etched that memory into her skin?
She still could. There was a secret at the bottom of a blue shoebox, just in case.
Casey groaned, shoving the blankets off of her, feeling nausea roll and musty heat touched her skin.
She needed out.
The air of the hall was cooler, passing her as she walked. Barry was sprawled on the couch, and he blinked awake as Casey all but climbed on top of him.
He tried to speak, but Casey shushed him, pulling his arms around her instead. Barry obeyed, holding her, body shifting as she lay across it, head on his chest. Her face was turned toward the couch, her hair hiding her from him.
Barry held, unsettled and concerned, but she just nestled closer, fulling intending to drift off to sleep.
"This would be a lot easier on the bed." Barry finally muttered after a moment, and Casey shifted.
"Shut up, Barry," she sighed, but her voice held a touch of relief, like when an ache finally stops hurting. Barry shrugged beneath her and resituated the blanket over them both.
His neck would hurt like the devil in the morning, but Casey was content, and Barry willingly laid his head back down.
He slept, waking only once when Casey suddenly pitched in her sleep, jolting him. Her hands gripped him, and she whimpered, a single, broken name.
Barry stared at the ceiling, blinking in abject loss.
He had watched Casey fold into a shell. Watched her carry on in intentional motion. His heart still hadn't finished breaking. How anyone could ever hurt her was an impossible question that haunted him, turning over the anger. He didn't know what to do. He tried to give her space, comfort, distraction, anything she could possibly need.
Now he considered that maybe it wasn't him Casey needed at all.
He could hardly fathom it, it was so beyond anything he would ever understand, but Barry found himself wondering what would Dennis do if he was here. How would he help her?
He stared at a blank ceiling for a long time before admitting it to himself. Barry had absolutely no idea.
He called into the black, again hearing silence as the only answer.
Maybe the only thing that could really help Casey was gone.
There were things Dennis would learn aren't possible, like proving you aren't blind in total black. Remembering warmth when you're cold. Convincing himself to let go.
Pretending she wasn't the reason why.
He held in a place he was certain he would never return from, and let his memories taunt him. Let them strip him away to that pathetic piece of hope that had no business holding on. Again and again they unraveled him, and again and again he clung to trace memories of a touch already fading in the black.
Days passed. He drifted out, less thought, more blanket ideas. The nothingness was winning. He faded away…
The next morning, the police called, they had found her uncle. His indictment was scheduled in two day's time. Jade and Casey were asked to testify.
Casey wondered if it was possible to hate a moment. Not an action, not a thought, or feeling, an actual moment in time. That blank box of space that could be filled with anything.
This one was filled with vacancy.
Patricia drove them home again, the only one stable enough to drive, and Casey numbly walked the steps up to home.
And it had been going so well. Jade had answered every question with careful detail, intelligent but condemning. The prosecutor had been so certain Casey's uncle didn't stand a chance. He would be indicted for sure, held until a criminal trial and they would all be that one step closer to impossible freedom.
Then Hedwig had taken the light.
He had forgotten what day it was. He was worried his show had come one.
He didn't want to miss it.
Barry had begged the light back, tried to explain, but the damage was done.
Just like that, the judge threw it out. Her case was gone and her uncle was set free.
The words were still branded in Casey's mind.
"Lack of evidence. No reliable witness."
Barry walked into the hall, stopping. Staring.
Barry's fist drove into the wall.
"Owww!" Hedwig was crying, staring at his hand as if it had betrayed him. "It hurts, Casey. Why does it hurt?"
Casey walked a frozen bag of vegetables over to Hedwig's hand.
"It will stop eventually."
Author's Note:
I have to start by saying thank you, thank you, thank you! a thousand times to every person who has reviewed and followed this story so far. I can't express how much of an encouragement it has been. I started this story on a whim and certainly never intended to post it anywhere. Hearing you all move through this story with me has been incredibly exciting and has meant so much. So truly, thank you!
This was a difficult chapter. I wanted more than anything for Casey's uncle to end up behind bars, and for her to be free. But as some of us know too well, unfortunately it doesn't always work that way. Too often the justice system fails us and abusers walk free while their victims wonder why they ever opened their mouths. I never intended to use this fanfic as some sort of platform, but I will say this.
If anything had happened to you or someone you know, always always always say something. The system isn't perfect and sometimes it doesn't work. Sometimes it does. But there's zero chance of it working if we don't even try. You deserve to be stood up for, even if, at first, the only person standing up for you is yourself. You deserve to be fought for.
Here is the number for the national abuse hotline.
1-800-799-7233
If you need it. Use it. Please.