Author's note: Hey everyone. I'm really sorry for the long update break. For some off the wall reason, this story hasn't been letting me publish new chapters. Also, I deleted the original chapters twenty one and twenty two, because I was sick when I did them, and extremely desperate (which screws my writing skills) and I have since realized just how ridiculous they were. I just want to say, I'm really sorry for that. I promise things are better now, and now that I am FINALLY over this stupid flu, and that, well, I'm back! :)
This chapter takes place a month after the run in with David at the restaurant. Casey is now in her second trimester, and she and Olivia have been planning their wedding.
Casey opened her eyes slowly, wincing at the glaring sunlight that streamed into the bedroom. She groaned softly and rubbed her eyes, and realized she had fallen asleep completely naked. A quick visual sweep of the bedroom revealed that Olivia had already left for work, leaving a note in her place. Casey, too sleepy to comprehend much, had to read it twice. The note contained a simple good morning, loving message, and explanation that Olivia would call when she was leaving the precinct that night. Casey sighed and placed the note on the nightstand before slowly sitting up and swinging her legs over the bed.
Reaching for her robe, which was hanging on the chair on her side of the bed, the young attorney pulled it around her naked body and cinched it around her waist, which was made rather difficult by her swollen stomach, which, at six months, was roughly the size of a basketball. Casey carefully made her way over to the window and closed the curtains, as the sunlight was adding heavily to her early morning migraine.
One thing was sure: she was not looking forward to the day ahead of her. Her back was extremely sore, her head was pounding, and if she had to choose between snuggling under the warm covers and falling asleep once more or enduring the day of endless meetings and hearings ahead of her, the attorney would have gladly chosen the former of the two options. With a sleepy yawn, Casey stumbled into the bathroom, closed the door, and walked over to the shower. Turning the water to the hottest temperature she could withstand, she waited it for it to heat before she stepped in and drew the curtain.
An hour and a half later, she unlocked her office door and sighed as she entered. Checking the time, Casey shook her head. Her first meeting was at eleven, which was exactly forty five minutes away in her boss's office. In the meantime, the redhead decided to pass the time by cleaning. Her office was immaculate, but Casey, ever the neat freak, cleaned everything at least once a day. Deciding to begin with the desk, she knelt down and opened the bottom drawer. Every file inside was stacked perfectly and organized by case type and category. These were the files that she had not yet placed in the file cabinet, as the cases were still in progress. Yawning, she closed the drawer and moved to the next one, which contained her pens and highlighters. Casey carefully reorganized them, color coding them. Finally, she opened the top drawer.
This was the drawer that had always brought her the most pain. Inside were two simple pictures, but the meaning behind them had kept Casey awake and in tears for many a night. The first was a picture of herself with Charlie, the second with Chance. Both men had broken her emotionally and physically, and Casey knew she should not care anymore, and that the pictures should be torn to shreds and thrown away. But as she lifted the images out of the drawer and slowly sat down in her chair, the attorney reflected on the reasons she had kept them. She had been bruised, broken, and bloodied more times than she could count, but she had loved both men. The pictures stayed in her drawer to remind her of the pain she had endured for so long, which, as strange as it sounded, helped her heal.
But it was more than that. Charlie had been her love, and for leaving him in the cold, she felt eternally guilty, even almost ten years later. Casey kept the picture of them as a way of apologizing to him, since he was dead, a fact that she felt fully responsible for, and she had no other way of doing so. And Chance had hurt her worse than Charlie ever had. He had degraded her, broken her, and nearly destroyed any strength she had left. But he was the father of her child, and Casey found herself unable to destroy one of the last remnants she had of him. She felt it was her responsibility to her child to keep the image of its father.
As she stared at the pictures in her hand, Casey felt her emerald eyes sting with tears. However, she quickly bit them back when she heard a knock on the door. "Just a second," she called out softly, hating how her voice cracked as she fought against the urge to cry. Quickly, she replaced the pictures and closed the top drawer of her desk, and turned around. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly, and willed her tears not to fall. "The door's open," she added softly, crossing her legs. She desperately hoped that she was not going to have to deal with any defense attorneys, because she was hardly in the mood for stupidity.
The door opened slowly, and, instead of a defense attorney, Olivia was standing in the doorway. Noticing Casey, the detective quickly closed the door and walked over to her. "Casey?" she asked, kneeling down beside the younger woman. "What's wrong, baby? Why are you crying?"
"I'm not," Casey answered, though the crack in her voice and her shiny eyes told a different story. She hated to lie to Olivia, but she also hated to make her worry.
"Almost crying is just as bad," Olivia answered gently. "Tell me what's wrong. You should know by now that you can tell me anything, and I'll listen."
Casey nodded. "I know," she murmured. "I just can't help but feel like the biggest bitch on the planet. I kick a guy out and he ends up dead on the street, clipped by a passing cab. Then, not ten years later, I send his brother to prison, where he gets brutalized and murdered." The redhead shook her head. "There's something wrong with me, Olivia," she whispered.
"Hey," Olivia answered, walking behind the beautiful attorney and kissing her neck. Moments later, Casey felt the detective's strong hands as she massaged her shoulders lovingly. Feeling her girlfriend's touch relaxed Casey a bit, and she exhaled slowly. "There is nothing wrong with you, Casey. You are beautiful and sweet, and I will love you for as long as I live. None of this is your fault, sweetie."
Casey turned around and buried her head in Olivia's stomach. She exhaled slowly, trying to relieve some of the guilt that had weighed on her for months. Olivia held her, stroking her hair reassuringly, and whispering loving words. That was how they stayed for several moments, with no sound in the office save Olivia's quiet, affectionate murmurs, and the ticking of the clock on the wall.
"Casey, do you want to postpone the wedding?" Olivia asked abruptly.
Casey immediately lifted her head, quickly enough to send a sharp pain through her neck. "What?" she asked. "No. I want to marry you. I want to spend my life as your wife, and with each passing day, I become more and more excited for our special day. I'm ready, Olivia. I'm sorry for being such a pain, I just need time to fully get over what happened. But there is no way in hell that I will let that interfere with us."
Olivia smiled softly, and began rubbing Casey's lower back in gentle circles. "As long as you are sure you're ready, we will keep the date. But if anything changes, and you feel you need more time, I want you to tell me. I promise I won't be angry, or even hurt. I would wait a million years if it meant seeing my beautiful bride walking down the aisle at the end."
"Stop it," Casey murmured, her cheeks reddening, turning the color of her long curls.
"Stop what?" Olivia asked, lifting the young attorney's head gently so that she could gaze into her emerald eyes. Her fingertips rested on Casey's chin.
Casey shook her head. "Stop making me feel like I could faint in your arms over what you say to me. I always wanted to be a damsel in distress, but damn, I'm not that helpless."
"Aw, baby, I would never make you a damsel in distress," Olivia answered. "Or would I?" Smirking, the detective pulled Casey onto her feet and into her arms, kissing her passionately.
Casey let out a little whimper. "Olivia," she moaned, attempting to deepen the kiss. In the back of her mind, the attorney knew she was due for her meeting shortly, but she only wanted to enjoy the way her girlfriend was kissing her. For a few moments at least.
But even that hope was destroyed when Olivia's cell phone suddenly rang. Olivia sighed deeply, gently breaking the kiss. "Sorry," she whispered, hitting the answer button on her phone. "Benson." For the next several moments, Casey stood silently next to the older woman, listening to the conversation. After a few minutes, Olivia said "I'll be right there." She hung up and looked at Casey, an apology clouding her chocolate brown eyes. "A body was found three blocks from that new restaurant on the Upper West Side. A little girl. The ME is estimating she is around eight or nine."
"Go," Casey answered. She kissed Olivia once more. "I feel better now. Thank you, babe. I don't know what I would do without you."
"Lose it?" Olivia proposed. "Oh wait, you already did that." A smirk formed on the detective's face.
Casey rolled her eyes. "Just go," she answered, leaning against her desk. "Call me when you're on your way home, because I need to know when to start dinner." She paused for a moment, then added "Can you believe that there will be three of us in less than three months?"
Olivia nodded. "I know. And I love both of you," she replied. Bending down, she kissed Casey's stomach gently, then smiled and kissed the younger woman on the lips. "I'll see you tonight, beautiful. Promise me you'll get some rest when you get home."
"I promise," Casey assured her. "I love you."
"I love you too," Olivia answered, kissing her one last time. And then, she was gone.
Casey checked the time once more and sighed. Her meeting was due to begin shortly. Reaching for her purse, she powered down her computer and walked out of the office to make her way to her boss's office. But in her haste, and her current scatterbrained state, she had forgotten to lock the office door.
Author's note: Well, what did everyone think? Please review. It's been a long time, I know...I'm sorry. I've been sick and emotionally worn out, and neither state is conducive to writing. I promise I'm back now though. Thanks for reading, and please, please review.