Me: Okay, characters. We're starting up a chapter after Dino got kissed. What's the plan?

Jkonna: OOOH! OOH! CAN I KISS HI-

Me: ouo no.

Droplet: -Actually, I'm with Jkonna. It'd give Pippy a heart attack if she kissed him-

Me: I said no.

Rosie: HEY I WANNA KISS HIM AGAIN YOU GUYS!

Me: WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT NO MORE KISSES?

gEEZ.

The Lost Fossil Fighter

Chapter 21: Too Old for This

"Diggins, why the heck are you shining your stego medal?"

"Why, Dino, m'boy, I fight too, you know!" His dark face breaks into a smile. "It's not like I'm an old coot that just sits there and does nothing!"

"I thought that was exactly what you did," I answer very seriously. "Remember the vivo-cakes? That little incident? Hmm? Hmm?" I let that sink in for a moment before continuing. "Not to mention that you're never fighting, just relying on your staff members to keep people from messing up anyways! Ha, I'd like to see you try to fight me! You'd never win! And... and you're old and stuff!" Droplet growls in agreement in my pocket. Thank you, ugly one, for deciding that I'm the smart one here.

The doc just smiles at me, his glassing falling off his nose again. "I doubt you'd stop fighting at my age... Ha! What a thought, seeing your dentures pop out as you scream at your krona there, Droplet, that you're right and she's wrong! I can just imagine it!" He laughs himself now, turquoise spikes of hair nearly skewering the stack of books towering next to him as he sits in front of a case full of even more books and books and books. I swear, why does the Fighter Station have so many darn pieces of pages stuck together if this is where we're fighting? I'd say we should just give them all to Diggins. Well then again, I guess some of the fighters would be pretty upset about that... Gah, whatever. Not like I care.

"So, what level are you battling for again, Dino?"

Oh gosh, I think I forgot. Nope, no wait. It's... oh yeah. My bad. "Six. I'm gonna cream everyone as usual. Droplet and I can just bite their heads off and Pippy can pound the rest of their bodies to pieces."

"What about Lone?" I wince at her name. The stupid vivosaur I'd revived is still in my pockets, chirruping like Diggins didn't just call out her name and remind us all of that... thing. I really don't like her, but ever since I found the head fossil in Rivet Ravine the doc's been going bonkers about how I should totally keep her because I don't have a very balanced team and everyone's "too attack-oriented" and other nonsense. If he wants me to stop having such powerhouses, just take them all away and give me some of those spike-covered goyles and shell-wearing nodos and those vivosaurs that have, like, way too much supports... what was it- oh, right, smilo. Fire vivosaur of the century: tiny, orange, furry mammal that's really good at defending more tougher vivosaurs. Gosh, those things are so annoying. It's really helpful to have a fat seismo that accidentally sits on small vivosaurs all the time, and especially when those things show up.

But then again. Hey Dino! Dino! Dino! Guess what? Guess what?

WHAT.

I'm a small vivosaur too! Yeah! Just like the smilo you say you hate! But I'm a nasaur! Not a smilo! And you tried to name me Purple but I told you that I remembered my name and it's Looooneeeeee! Lone! Lone! Lo-

SHUT UP.

I smirk. Thank you Droplet. She just snorts something like aw shucks, I hate her too you know. And yet Diggins thinks I need a vivosaur with more support effects, so he keeps ranting on that I gotta use Lone the nasaur and no I don't want to use freaking Lone the nasaur I mean one she's a girl and two she's a nasaur. I didn't notice this before, but nasaurs, those tiny, purple souls, have the most energy I've ever seen a vivosaur even try to muster. Perfect against something like a fat, mammalian, fluffy megath, but the doctor just shakes his turquoise hair at me and tells me that I've gotta let her help in the support areas of this. Which is stupid. I have big vivosaurs like Droplet, Pippy, and Harei that can bash the brains out of a t-rex easy. So why do I need this little runt over here to help me out?

"Basically, doc, I don't want that disgusting wad of joy. She's just like Droplet in the way that she wouldn't even let me name her because she remembers her own. And I just know it'll only be getting worse. Can't I use my brain-bashing trio and just call it a day? Sounds easier. And funner. You know the works." Diggins gives me a look like I'm some piece of turd on the floor. Honestly, man, it's not my fault the scrawny nasaur is a terrible being. By all means, take her for yourself.

The scientist dude just sighs like I don't get it. But I do. We just went over why I do, in fact, get this, dang it. His turquoise bangs shade his face, causing a ripple of dark browns and kind-of-lighter browns to skim around over his forehead. "A balanced team is your greatest asset. Lots of smaller or bigger vivosaurs are harder to use, my friend." He lets rip another long, upset sigh. "Maybe you are better with a certain type, but it's always good to have variety, Dino. I'm thinking you'll need more than some big guys. Taking Lone with you wouldn't actually be a hazard!"

"Says whom?" I grumble behind some gritting teeth.

"Says me, and my opinion has lots of worth!" The older dude shrugs, that gigantic, sheet-white lab coat shaking around his sandals from the top. "Besides, I have the power to evict you from your next level-up battle, you know!" That gleam in his eyes is creeping me out. Guess that means I'm stuck with that purple stick. "So go on and figure out what your preliminaries and cleaning will be like!" Shooing me off, Diggins holds up his green medal again and starts to rub at it with his brown fingers rrrk rrk rrk-ing across the surface.

WOO-HOO! screams an over-excited nasaur. If every single one of those shorter vivosaurs have more energy than a coconut popsicle I promise to lock them all in a cage and ship them to Woolbeard's. I really wouldn't mind if the ghost pirate killed them all and hung their numerous pelts all over his ship. Just means the bare thing might actually look okay the next time I show up on the dead guy's doorstep. Now wouldn't that be a colorful, peaceful, loving image?

YAAAYYYYY! The sudden thud of a krona crushing more than the lungs of a purple stick make a print in my head. It'd be bad to tell Diggins this, but I enjoy knowing that the idiot nasaur isn't having the happy time she seems to think we're celebrating. Sure, stars are clouding my vision from impact, but this just means another plus for me. No, I'm probably not a bad person to say that. Of course not. I'm awesome.

By the time I've gotten past Tiffany and into the cleaning-examination-room or whatever it is, Lone's still being smothered. The story pretty much goes like this: the pink-haired creep at the front desk had me spell a few words like "dish-comb-bob-you'll-eated" or "aws-ten-tate-us" or however they're spelled and said. I'm not really sure what's so interesting about me not being very good at saying really big words that no one needs. Apparently, though, that lunatic cares, and had to go and rub it in my face that she could even spell those last two words. Gosh, Tiff, I don't even care if it's discombobulated and ostentatious. I just wanna clean out some fossil for the yellow tabula rasa... Kl-34N. Right, Kl-34N. That's the name.

Well, finally, I've gotten into that little, box-like room and can show off my let's-get-a-fossil-cleaned-to-prove-myself talent. It's not too hard: got my hammer, got my drill, got the rock staring at me like it thinks it's gonna kick my butt at this, and the yellow, ovular tabula rasa's floating behind me, watching with wide, black eyes as I'm about to simply be freaking amazing and prove the power of successfully uncovering a fossil. I think her breath is on my shoulder. Oh my gosh that's so creepy.

At the sound of the timer, my hammer slams its heavy end into the rubble, opening up the rock with a satisfying crack! The noise jars my jaw, but I just smirk and slam the bone-finding tool into brown rivets again, the next outcome even cooler as more bits of rock come flying onto the ground and dig into purple carpet. At the realization that the bones are starting to show up and I think I cracked its own fingers even worse than my own, I toss the mallet to the side and turn on the drill.

Whiiiiiiiiiiiirrrr-DONG.

Nope. Nope. I am not looking back to see what I just hit. Not even when the body hits mine and I rip a chunk of hard, white, rippling calcium from the bone's arm and sending it to the floor by accident. With all the mess us fossil fighters make, it's like confetti everywhere. All I need now is some singing- but if that nasaur takes me literally, I'm finding that hammer and beating her to bits. Well, the medal. I don't care if that means she'll run free. So; I turn back to my lovely take on buzzing holes in rubble and try to shake gray bangs out of gray eyes. Sure, the latter fails, but the fact that one of my eyes was poked shut isn't that big of a worry.

Well, I guess it is when that bone looks as undead as Nomadeestein. That guy from his movie still gives me goosebumps. Why the heck did Ms. Nosh think we could handle it?

I then take into notice that my fossil is completely destroyed. Considering the fact that Kl-34N is also passed out on the floor and I want to let Lone get beat up by the guys in my preliminaries before I have to fight that level-up master, whoever the heck they are, I'd better take some extreme measures.

Whistling awkwardly, I crawl out of the small, box-like room, leaving behind a "passing" fossil and knocked out tabula rasa. Oh gosh- when Rosie finds out about this, I'm dead. Thought I was doing pretty good at cleaning, but hearing this will make her grab at me with those surprisingly strong, pink hands and pull me back here and make me apologize to Kl-34N and redo the whole, crummy fossil. Sorry pinky, but I'm more satisfied with the thought of getting out of here and dealing with this little, tiny, not-really-there-in-my-opinion problem. Honestly, I swear it's not that much to freak out about if I just... really, really, really broke up a vivosaur's arm fossil. We're all good here. I'm all good. Woo-hoo.

Technically, you dork, Rosie's just as strong as you, and like a creep, you let her g-

NO I DO NOT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT DROPLE-

LONE LONE LONE LONE LONE LONE LONE

Our voices collide in this nasty mess. HOW COULD YOU Dino shut up SHE'S ALIVE LOOonnee you're in love, ya UGH I DON'T even I don't even WHO KNOWS DROPPIE WHO KNO LONE LONE LONE I know the meaning of life and you're a turd YOU'RE A TURD you're a turd YOU'RE A TURD oh LOOK it's LONE LONE THAT'S ME YAY and SHE'S being STUPID again. DROPLET GO CRUSH HER on it. We shut up at the sound of the fat krona using her wet weight to her advantage as she crushes the will to scream out of Lone Lone Lone Lone the freaking annoying nasaur.

Pippy sighs in response. Why are you guys so mean to her? If you ask me, we're having a Harei all over again!

Pi-PPY! I use my best, angry-older-person accent against his silly one. It is rude to talk about other vivosaurs behind their backs- I did not get that from you! He sighs quietly, and I feel like he's about to give up the little rant. But of course I have to be wrong.

Well then, excuse me, but I'm going to go fall in love with that moment you had with Rosie earlier. With an adorable, teasing huff, the brown guy closes his purple eyes tightly shut and takes a step into his imagination. I really don't know why the seismo finds it so important. Sure, Rosie's face against mine felt warm. Sure, I probably don't understand how important this is. Sure, I have a kinda bad feeling about this. But whatever. It's not like I've fallen in love or something, yeah? Not like I've been thinking about Rosie and wondering what that was all about and sort of hoping that'll happen again in the near future. It's nothing in relation to that kind of stuff..?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww~!

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. We've been over this. I suck in a gigantic breath and force it all out with the rest of my moment. I DON'T LOVE HER! My vivosaurs, sweet little angels, snap their yaps shut and don't utter another word about me and Rosie in the same sentence. Of course, I don't know what Lone would've said, since she's still out of breath and being sat on, but that's beside the point. Or Harei. She's in the VMM right now, so it's not like her opinion matters. Or Pippy's, since he thinks I'm in love with Rosie. Gosh, I only have one vivosaur that agrees with me- and it's the fat water elemental. I swear, Droplet, I never thought the day would come that I agree to you so easily.

Besides that little scandal, I've also managed to get into the Fighter Station again. Guess that means I can take a load off now and ask Tiff what's up next with my preliminaries. I'm pretty sure that creepy girl isn't going to "spoil the surprise" if I ask about the level-up master since apparently that'll "spoil the surprise," but she may give me some smidgen of a hint about what two people I'll be up against soon. That'd be lovely if she could just be easy on me, especially after I broke that fossil in the cleaning examination and kind of knocked out the yellow tabula rasa that's supposed to be helping me with that. No one needs to know about that. If Pippy lets word get out, I'll have to make adjustments to his tail; that brown stump's been looking a bit long. Got it, Pipster? He doesn't respond. I think he saw through my bluff. Dang.

Upon my amazing arrival, Tiff's purple eyes roll towards me. Her brown jumpsuit's wrinkled around her name tag, like she was trying to read the letters while wearing her uniform again. "Ugh, it's him..." I think that she just paused because she's gossiping with some vivosaurs. That girl gives me chills every once in awhile. Not as bad as that one Duna girl from forever ago and whatever her problem was -something at the back of my head still clicks at her name, but I'm avoiding that- at least.

"Dino... I have a riddle for you." Ohhhh no. Not one of these. Not now. Dang it, Tiffany. "If you guess correctly... I'll let you in on a little secret... Okay?" No. Not okay. You always cheat by giving out hard ones. "Yay, deal it is! Hmm... how about... ooh, I know! My lovely aopteryx, Mystique, has been storing this one up for years!" Isn't an aopteryx that really fragile, white bird? Well, of course Tiff would want the fragile, white bird. My bad for thinking she'd choose something normal: a spinax, a shanshan, I don't know. Not the aopteryx.

"What never eats, but never starves?"

"Uhh... A vivosaur!"

"No."

"I hate you," I grumble. She doesn't notice, as usual. "Uh... Uuuuhhhhhhhh... everything that isn't alive."

"It's alive, silly! I told you that!" I'd tell her that she didn't, but Tiff always wins her stupid arguments. I feel like some poor aopteryx trapped in her pockets. "Go on, guess again. Your stupidity amuses me." Yeah, well your being-annoying and stupid doesn't amuse me. Can you just tell me the secret? I'd really, really love you if you just told me the secret. I'd be your best friend if you told me the secret.

My mind draws a blank. What the heck never eats, never starves, and is apparently alive? "I dunno, blood?"

"Ew, no!" She giggles and glares at me with those cold, freaky, purple orbs drilled into her head. "Do you give up yet? Huh? Huh?" Tiff points a bunch of pale fingers at me and giggles some. She takes the look on my face and decides that I'm sick of the stupid riddle that's way too stupid for me to be good at. "It's your brain, duh!" She's implying something here. Too bad; I don't care. "Because you're stupid! Haha!" Okay it just got personal.

"Buuuut, because you played with me, I'll tell you anyways!" Yesyesyesyesyes. Yes. Smirking happily, I run up to the creepy girl and stare at her. She's gonna tell me the secret. She's gonna let me know what she's hiding. I'm so excited. "Dino, your epidermis is showing!"

"My epi-what?"

She laughs. "Your epidermis! I'm sorry to say that this is... This is..." A cold hand clamps on my shoulder. "So sad, Dino... This is terrible... I' m sorry that this had to happen to you... That your epidermis had to show... May peace be with you, poor soul." And with that, she lets go and hits me in the face with some paper at the same time. I really wish I knew what an epidermis is; this whole case sounds really serious.

A sudden, fluffy ball of red hair whips against my face and squeezes my cheeks from behind. All I see besides that random flash of hair is the dark fingers squishing my darn skin. "Yaaayy! It's Dinooooooo!" squeals the girl holding me captive. Some instinct inside of me bites the one telling me to try to get Jkonna off me, preferably involving the factors of smacking and kicking like an insane krona. Honestly, I'm still not sure why I haven't even reacted. If this goes on, I may as well melt into a gray puddle. Thankfully, before I have to remember how to kick her back, darn creep, Jkonna lets go and stands next to me, where her icy, light blue eyes bore holes into Tiff's brown jumpsuit. "Tiffany, as a member of the Awesome Club, er, should I say... ahem... self-proclaimed leader of the Awesome Club!- you should listen to me and stop messing around with Dino!" She almost falls down randomly. She'd never admit it, but I think it's because her gigantic rope of rich, red hair tripped her up. Hah. If only she managed to fall.

"Dude. I can't believe you stupid kids that're, like, younger than me don't even know that epidermis is, like, skin!" Tiff's always-changing accents are really starting to creep me out. "Buuut, as I see you're both here... mm... Looks like your preliminary opponents are ready. Why don't you two lovesaurs" -I growl at the word- "go on and do your battles or whatever!" The pink-haired staff members laughs creepily for a few moments, then shakes herself and starts picking at a scab. This becomes the perfect moment to crawl away from her creepy, purple stare.

When I decide Tiff's out of earshot and can't see us behind the purple bookshelf to the side, I whisper angrily, "Lovesaurs? What? I don't even. I don't even! Besides that..." My voice gets all guttural and angry again. "We're doing the same preliminaries? I. Don't. Even!"

The redheaded girl stares at me dully- a feat for her brightly colored self. "Uh... Duh! The second preliminaries are held with two people against two other people! So basically... if we win... and if you screw this up for us I promise to feed you to my special buddy" -Jkonna pats a medal that's in her short-short pocket, giving me an idea of what might be lurking in there- "... then we're both able to beat up the level-up master guy for level six. Aaaand..." Grinning darkly, Jkonna swivels her head to face Tiff from the side, holding in a giggle. "I kinda fed her that lie to keep her from thinking you had a thing with Rosie... he he... Pretty smart, yea?"

"I hate you and love you at the same time."

"The acro eats you if you say that again."

"I'm listening." Her reddening face looks about ready to burst in high-pitched laughter, so I enjoy my one moment to slap the heck out of Jkonna's cheeks before she has to explode. The staff creep at the counter currently doesn't know where we lie, and I'd love to keep it that way even more than I love Pippy's accent.

We've agreed. Jkonna's cheeks stop swelling so much, so she's able to release the pent-up air up there. What a blowhole, that girl. "Aaaanyways... even if you try to lose for some, stupid, you-ish reason, I'm pretty sure the acro would show you up. Name's Bliss, affiliation's earth, size is fat-tastic, and he's a biped. Pretty lean biped. Will tear you apart upon my consent. But then again..." She eyes my shorts, probably trying to figure out where the heck my own, water-filled weapon is hidden. "I guess you're kinda formidable. Basically, we don't attack each other or we both die. Truce?"

"Uhhh. Jkonna. We're friends. Why're you telling me this. I mean, we like each o-"

"Don't pull that Rosie turd on me!" she grumbles, chewing on a lip angrily. "Hmmph. I don't care if you're from the orphanage, dang it. All guys should know what girls thinks liking each other means!" Her tone's starting to scare me. I think Jkonna starts to realize this. But maybe not. I dunno. "Ugh... Freaking... Stupid... Wh-whatever...

She shakes herself out suddenly, like a vivosaur. "We're friends. Yeah. Don't get all like-like on me now, soldier, or I'll have you run a suicide mission." No, I have not a clue what the redhead's spouting this time around. But it sounds like she's not acting all girly now. I'd say we're all good. Gosh, girls are weird. "Just don't be stupid."

"Then don't give your vivosaurs stupid messages to relay back to me." When stuff happens, you know you can expect anything from redheads. At least, that's true about freaking coo-coo Jkonna. She may as well be a madman for all I care. Burn her at the stake, and all those sayings she likes to spew.

The drone of a pink-haired stiff calls into the bookshelf filled room. "Oh, come on, you idiots. Get out of your hiding spots before I... do something really bad. I'm too lazy to get up and skewer you, so hurry up and get your soggy carcasses out of this room and into the arena. Oh, and... uh... please? Nah, it feels weird to use that word." She scoffs like it's a curse and my partner and I sneak out of the room from the left hallway, our footsteps all hidden and stuff in the fuzzy carpet. The cool thing about working with Jkonna is that we'd make pretty great spies, if I do say so on the weird girl's and my behalf. Speaking of weird girls, I think Droplet finally stopped sitting on the unstoppable nasaur. Lone got the message. She actually got the message. I can hardly hear her even babble a whisper right now. Praise the Ancients- it's a miracle. Even more miraculous than the time I got Pippy to say "pip pip cheerio."

The hallway seems to get longer every single time I go in here. I always forget when it ends and then end up randomly popping through that hole in the wall and remembering oh yea, that's where the hallway ends. The red carpet's like a long trail on some old treasure map Woolbeard found: not needing to be long and annoying, but is anyways. If this agony of long hallways has to continue, I might just pull out my handy dandy seismo and have him completely wreck the place, riding his back to victory. Though I guess he wouldn't agree with that and call it too violent or something. Gee, Pippy, it's not like we'll hurt anyone. I'll even let Jkonna stay on the ground to get hit by debris some since you don't like her or something.

I admit, boy, the offer's got a spot of temptation on my old soul. But I'll have to refuse this cup of tea. I won't even question where his symbolism comes from. It's like he's spilled his life over and all these tea and accent jokes decided to pop out. Let's just invite all the weird puns and have a party in a brown-faced cutie's head, if this continues. Oh hey, that reminds me...

If you hate Jkonna so much, and seem to kiss up to Rosie, what's your take on that one Duna girl?- Oh, riiight. You called her the most precious thing ever, Pipster! She's your angel! She's you darling, wonderful savior of all time with that white dress and the golden hair and the sparkly, blue eyes! Ha... and what do you know, she's the one I care least for! Jkonna's boss and Rosie's... uh... Rosie's... Oh no.

Just as suspected, Pippy uses my tied tongue to squeeze in some words I... probably don't agree to. Lover? Beloved? Darling? Dearest? Ooh, here's a charmer... Are you, perhaps, the t-rex to her maia? Oh ho? Do we have a winner on those odds? Mm? Droplet tries to intervene, but- Oh, Droplet, we've been over this! You cannot replace "t-rex" with "krona" because you're a female and that's plain gross of you, love! And no, I'm not saying I love you! My accent is all-natural, I dare say! Hmmph! Preposterous group of friends I have, if I do say so myse-

Shut up Pippy we're at the end of the hallway. I'm surprised at how long it takes to get there, as usual. Then again... Now I'm just curious about who my preliminary matches are gonna end up being. A bunch of twerps like Clem and his snobby buddies, I'm thinking. But no. Of course I'm wrong. After Jkonna and I manage to crawl out of the hallway and into the blinding light of the arena, that dusty ground digging into my bare feet, which feels so creepy, I'm staring face-to-face with a duo I never thought I'd see in action before.

Up first is a tall, light-redheaded woman with a long, dark dress. And next to her is an even taller guy, wearing a bright red toga, with feathers in weird places and a mask and I think he's wearing really big teeth? No, wait, they just popped out. He was trying out denture shark teeth. Is someone kidding me. That scene, right in front of me. It's crazy. I can't even begin to understand why they would team up like that. Idiots. "Bea ginning Ginner and Nick Nack... Golly gee, I never thought I'd see you again." That's a lie. There's like twenty people on this Island, as there's been the whole time I've lived here. Of course I was bound to wind up with them again.

The blonde to my right stands and smiles giddily. "Oh ho! If it's not the hip-shaking master of all Dino-ness! But Dino himself... oh ho..." Nick Nack holds a sly smile shaded beneath his eye-covering mask, a few medals clamped in his hand. On the other side, I think Bea's pale skin stings of blush. Either she's embarrassed or... something. I don't know. Let's not consider the following.

"Anyway..." Bea continues quietly, her instructive voice way better at trying to get us to look at her than Nick Nack's is. I even see Jkonna's back straighten instinctively, and that's beneath layers of her red hair and white tank top. "I'm sure you all know how there aren't many fighters ready to reach for level-six, only a single level below master fighter. So some of the more experienced fighters have to step in and pull out some vivosaurs to use at times like thi-"

"Yeah, what the girl with the know-it-all mind said," her partner yawns.

Bea bores holes into his face, eyes dark and quiet, but really flaming. "Well, Tipper seems to find me helpful."

"That girl with the pixie cut... Blonde... Smarty... Bless her patience levels then, because I just can't listen to this for much longer! Ayaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" And with that, Nick Nack's medals go skittering on the musty floor. With an upset scowl, Bea tosses her own vivosaurs to the ground. Jkonna does the same. I'm the one that's not so lucky and watches as Droplet lands on top of me, expanding into her large, fat, full-on krona form, her wet tail making me gag. Before I get a chance to move, purple feet thump, thump all over my back. Lone finally realizes where she's going and gets off- after turning completely around. Still on my back. Bless Pippy's soul, for he waits until his brown disc falls out of my pocket before starting his part of the battle. My back is not broken by the gigantic seismo. I'm grateful.

With a mighty, Droplet-would-be-jealous roaaaaarrrrrrrr!, a brown-and-dusty-gold, gigantic, earth elemental monster barges into the world and displays some really big chompers that make me a bit nervous. Its power is emitting all over the place, and its ugly scent is making my nose cry. But surely those bloodshot eyes are of the monstrous acro Jkonna was talking about. I mean, sure, it looks cool, but its height? Pippy wins. Jaw amount- strength. Strength! Gotta admit that Droppie could eat him in one bite, easy. But I'm gonna go with the facts here. He'd easily crush Lone the nasaur with a simple stomp of his crusty, dusty foot. Which is huge, by the way. And sizing up my own vivosaurs, that's the biggest foot on our team. It even beats the rest of Jkonna's crew: a sickly, feathered u-raptor, of course, of all things; and some other, green, feathered raptor. No wait- m-raptor. Yeah, that's its name. Wait. Wait a moment. Oh my gosh. Jkonna, how could you.

This should be a kill-fest! Bliss the acro shouts, her high-pitched tone even squeakier than Lone.

Aw yea! Fun time! Bomba the u-raptor squeals as feathers curl around her head like wings of some sort.

Giirrlll Paaarrtyyyy! Morie the m-raptor shrieks.

Pippy is the only male on our side. And that's not the worst part. It's how well he's getting along with them, his silly accent fitting in as best as his sore-toe status can. He may as well be a normal toe and I'm the sore toe, since I'm the only guy here that isn't Pippy, as he doesn't count at the moment. Anyway, on the other side of the battle, Nick Nack and Bea honestly have what I pretty much expected from their kind of duo: Saint Nickolas Nackolas, who was demanding creepy gifts from me and then battled the heck out of my sorry butt not long ago, holds his prized elasmoth, the dude's golden horn shining like the Flag of Nickolas Nackolas Land. His special little air type has been safety-pinned to a team he's thrown together quickly that also holds another gray-scale vivosaur. It's white. And it's stout. And it's got rainbows on it for some reason. Called a penta. And thirdly is another stout quadruped with a fan on its face. And it's rainbow, but with a blue background of scales this time- no more gray-scale. Her voice, the only female on the team, grunts the strong aura of a styraco. Good for her, I guess.

Bea Ginning Ginner, of whom I assumed to have the smarter team, instead holds two water element vivosaurs at bay, both pretty similar. The only difference from the large, stick-like, and thus similar to Lone, vivosaur girls are that delta is darker and purple with black spikes, and dilopho is turquoise with a purple, fanned face. Both with stick-like bodies, the two must have a ton of speed pent up in there. They also probably have a plan, unlike Jkonna and I. All I know is that we don't know what we're gonna do, exactly.

The musty acro and energetic, smaller ditzes don't offer any advice. That's okay, because I've come up with my own plan by now. Don't worry, Life- I have a really, really good plan this time around. It'll blow Jkonna's socks off, I bet. If she's wearing socks- I don't think she's wearing socks. So, as a rainbow-scaled penta and styraco race towards my vivosaurs at the speed of fast stuff, Pippy readies his tail and Droplet starts out our genius plan.

See, every fighter Bonds differently. And only some are strong enough to see the differences in all vivosaurs and exactly how terrible a nasaur is. Only the awesomest of all fighters truly understand how terrible and vile that purple creature is, and that it will never ever be of any use to anyone, especially someone as talented and awesome as me. Therefore, Droplet holds the important role of fetching the sacrifice and throwing her at the stampede of rainbow scales. Then we say bye-bye to Lone the nasaur and win after her medal gets lost somewhere. I know, I know: my plan is amazing. I'm sure even Rosie would have to agree with me on this: the purple, stick-boned, tiny, bipedal nasaur had this coming ever since Diggins decided I need the stupid thing.

So the plan rolls into action. Jkonna starts doing whatever she's doing; Pippy uses his seismo strength and earth-type advantage on the air-elemental styraco and semi-earth-type-advantage on the neutral-elemental penta. His tail only holds the two of them back, as planned. Then we'll release them and let their stout hooves maul my nasaur. I'm still not sure how Pippy ended up agreeing to this plan so easily, though. It's weird that he accepts the fate of the nasaur without whining about how she doesn't deserve this and Lone will get better later, because I assure anyone that isn't as great of a fighter as me that the nasaur has to go. Now.

Hey, why is Droplet taking to long? Come on, it can't be that hard to grab a purple vivosaur that's smaller than her size, even if she's using her six, slimy fins, and lug the sack of bones back here.

When my head finally turns back, I learn why Droplet hasn't grabbed Lone: there isn't a Lone to grab. Literally. Droplet's gone and stuck her head down a big, water-filtered tunnel that I'm guessing the crazy nasaur summoned to get away from the krona and not become dead meat. Dang, I hate it when idiots like shanshans and nasaurs know what they're doing when they try to escape their deathly fates. So annoying.

It takes a few minutes before I see where Lone poofed off to, because Pippy's trying to block his thoughts with images of my mouth on Rosie's mouth, which is creepy and kinda warm again, and even when I do figure out what he's trying to hide, it turns out that Pippy only knows that Lone knew and she didn't want to get beat up by a penta and styraco. Well, whatever: it's her fault she's a nasaur. I'm not thinking this any more thorough than that.

Lone doesn't just jump in on us and scream something like, LONE LONE LONE LONE LONE LONE LOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! No. Of course not. Of course that purple buffoon had to come in and burst out of the ground in the gigantic geyser she made and steal Pippy's thunder by sending Nick Nack's two, stout vivosaurs up on the watery, bursting ride as she sneaks out from the side, mumbling something that does, in fact, sound a ton like lonelonelonelone or whatever. Her cyan beak is humming like a tabula rasa on sugar high, and the purple figure becomes a moving blob of scales as she skids a hard right and takes off leaping to the left side. She pops out of my sight, now behind that gigantic shot of water the tiny thing made all by herself. Gosh, what is it with me underestimating vivosaurs and always being wrong? This supposed to mean that they're all talented in their own ways? Ugh, no: I'll meet a creature far worse than Lone and then I'll know who the true rock-bottom of all the vivosaurs is.

Old bean! There is NO rock-bottom to vivosaurs! Pippy, flustered, tries to explain this to me. I have his ramble off and focus on the battle.

"Oho!" screams Nick Nack from the other side of the arena. "Lone stole the Pipster's lightning!"

As the water peaks and starts to drain back into its little home carved by Lone truly, I signal to Pippy, Don't care about your tone right now. Swing now. He listens, and the rich, brown tail smacks those stout vivosaurs good and hard on their rumps. At the sight of it, Droplet snorts happily. Then we both watch as something small and sharp slices something and something EXPLODES and I fall over. It's okay- I can still see through the power of Pippy and Lone, but my tummy... It's like something knitted the organs together with a ton of stones and lava and... ooh... ow... ouugh... urrghh... On fire... The churning mass... ewww... ugh...

It's disgusting. And Droplet's in my pocket. From somewhere outside... senses regaining a little... the tingly, ripping sensation swelling and dying on itself, I think Pippy is beating the heck out of a gold-horned creature... It's shiny and dull and tiny... F-for sure. Yeah. Think so. At least, that's what I see beside the hundreds of searing needles ripping my belly open and pouring in some lava to see what sort of dangerous reaction will occur... And... ooh... it's not good. Ow. Ow. It's not. No. Not good at all. I'm really not liking this. Burning and sloshing around, over and over...

"Dino!" Ow. Your voice is loud. Go away. I don't feel good. May as well pass out soon. Real soon. Dead soon. Dead serious. "Oh come on..." Shut up. Voice stings ears.

Stomping footsteps go thud thud thud on floor really loud. I can't talk so she doesn't know to shut up. It hurts. A lot. No jokes please. Something taps my lopsided figure and whatever was tapped throbs a lot. Like I said. Ow. Ow. No... waaaiiiiit...

I think it's getting a little better. Yeah. But taking a step, trying to get up- oh. No. Ack, that hurts. I don't think I'll do that. My ribs ache a bit too... "What, are you a melodramatic idiot? Oh come o-AGK! OW!" And like that, a mound of partner slaps the floor, groaning.

So I get up. Yeah, it freaking lets cuts open some more. Yeah, it makes my sores rub against more sores. Yeah, Droplet's wound was extremely deep and I'm sweating up just from getting up on my feet. But what the heck did anyone expect from me, to not get up? To just lie down and let Jkonna and I make the biggest fail ever? Uh, no. She's the self-proclaimed leader of the Awesome Club, and if I wanna get into this thing I've never even heard of before, and if Jkonna's leader, I'd better squik my way into that hot mess. Anyway, back to the real reason I'm getting up, I guess this is about time I make sure Pippy didn't decide to let the opponent get him good.

Ooh, look, you're alive! he remarks happily, purple eyes sparkly. By golly, we just may stand a chance still! See... well... all of that dillydallying girl's vivosaurs have been... ehm... taken care of, as our sliced krona buddy has been, and-

PIPPY. HURRY UP BEFORE WE'RE ALL CANNED FOOD LIKE THEM! He gets the message. I think screaming out loud helped too. With a joyful flick of his tail that was at first directed toward me until the big seismo remembered that I can't take that kind of pain, Pippy begins to strut forwards, in the direction of wherever Lone went and the rest of the opponent. I think of following him, but then I take a step and it hurts and my stomach burns again. Uh... big guy? L-little help? Maybe? I sound so desperate. That's sad. Oh well. Too late.

He stops, uncoils a really long, dark brown tail, and scoops me up, placing my gray body on top of his back so carefully that it's almost like I'm floating on air. My aches are already well on their way of being forgotten.

I ride the big quadruped like he's some sort of steed and we're going off to... uh, beat up Nick Nack and Bea Ginner. I can't help but feel pretty satisfied when I notice that both of the adults have bruises and stuff from what happened. Makes me feel proud to see that I've proved myself to them, at least by that factor. A warm glow not related to burning lava fills my insides. Scanning around the place, I firmly decide that Jkonna managed to wrangle up and beat the dilopho and delta on Bea's side, which means that I just have to get one, last vivosaur done with. But then... who is it..? Oh, I'm joking with myself. I know exactly who it is. And I hate their guts right about now. Oh, I hate my own guts too. They're bruised.

With a squeak, the pressure of a ton of water sweeps me off of Pippy's safe, secure backside and I hit the ground like SMACK! It feels like my insides were tossed on a frier. And the idiot cooking those insides is not only a tabula rasa, which means they suck at cooking, but tabula rasas don't really have thumbs. Just three claw things. Even a bunch of nomadistinians like Rex would be better- understatement. Nomadistinians are amazing at cooking. Arts and junk like that are their biggest strong points, like how we're best at fighters and tabula rasas are insane over technology. Doesn't mean vivosaurs aren't in the picture: they can do more than fight, you know.

I turn around and face something being cut off that I'd rather not face. So I close my eyes and struggle to not fall asleep. Why, exactly? Thankfully, that stupid elasmoth made easy work, but though my Droppie's wounds are doing much better... and my eyes are open now... oh. Oh gosh. My foot. No. Oh no. I am not looking at the thing attached to my ankle. I don't think so, not after that elasmoth messed with Pippy's hind leg foot thing. That just means mine's... something I don't wish to look at.

Dang, Nick Nack. How many warm up dances did your special little elasmoth do this morning when you realized you'd be facing me? Twenty billion trillion gazillion? It's like you're out to get me, dude. You just... did that... to Pippy... and now he's in my pocket and I can't walk very well and it stings and I think Lone just saved me from sudden badness.

Speaking of... Uh... Lone? You still alive in there? You... faring? Well? Stuff? I... uh... promise I won't kill y-

YOU DO? BUT DO I ACCE-OH WHO'S KIDDING I ACCEPT- ya I accept we should party- there should be pizza!- there should be Droplet!- there should be dead elasmoth simulators! Yay! I'm going to assume that dumbo-jumbo is very meaningful. And that apparently Lone doesn't care that I almost killed her. You can't kill me and I'm awesome! Whoa... whoa.

Did she just. Did she... AWESOMEEEEEEEEE! Dear Ancients she did I am going to faint soon.

Oh, uh, hey, Lone. Don't come near. The elasmoth is haunting me.

YUP! LONIE NOTICED! With the speed of a stampede of seismos when I tell them they have to say pip pip cheerio, -which, believe me, isn't slow at all- a blur of purple pecks the short, stout thing on the head and leaps to the side, forcing the thing to chase after her, snorting rude words about the nasaur that just saved us all.

In the end, I don't even know how it comes to be. But, well, in the end, sure enough, a medal the size of an eye is flung into Nick Nack's red mask. He instinctively catches the green disc and chortles. "Oh ho! As old proverbs say, 'I hate to rain on your marmalade, dear Bea, but Dino has huffed and puffed and pulled our alectroes down!'" Neither of us question the fact that old proverbs don't hold Dino or Bea in them, since we're still alive, doofus, and also, it's rain on your parade and not alectroes but abodes.

Not that I care.

Three, sleepy fighters waddle off of the arena, which is still baking in bright, morning light that I hadn't noticed before and isn't so dusty or bloody anymore, and leave me to take a nap in the sun. At least, I'd love to take a nap on musty ground. That doesn't sound healthy at all, but it's not like I care. I'm tired and beat up; sleeping in the clouds of dirt will only hurt my pride. But my pride is so strong that not even that has to worry. So I think sleeping right around here is an awesome idea.

"...Dino!" I'm so tired, Diggins. I don't care. Please... ugh... I don't even...

Sadly, he's brought a little buddy for me to stare at. Big buddy, that is. Stegoes are really big when their green, hunched backs are right in front of you and those gray faces stare down at you like they know all too well how easily they could skewer me open with some red spines.

"Anyway, m'boy, I heard about your preliminaries and thought hey, maybe you'd like to knock out both your preliminaries, and the cleaning exam, and your level-up battle all together now! Eh?" I try to nod. It doesn't end well. I'm about to muster up the strength to try to talk when a voice cuts in. Thanks to the break, I pass out on the lumpy, cold back of a purple nasaur. I try to pass out, that is.

Old friend, I believe that he... Morrisio the stego shares a knowing glance with her Bond. A small smile skids over Diggins's face. Not sure what's up with the smiling, but I'm too wrecked to care.

"Yeah... I think so too. Let's just let him take a nap here..." Behind his glasses are shining eyes, like the turquoise haired guy knows something I don't.

"I'll let him pass without a fight. It's our decision, anyways, and he's always..."

Very yes. Do it.

A small yawn. "Yup... mee... me too. Let's go on and look for a place to sleep. I'll host the rest of the battles tomorrow, since it appears nasaur and co aren't moving."

Me: Hweh. Thought Dino deserved a bit of a break. He's been fossil fighting like crazy, poor guy. May as well try to give him something a little more restful... Besidess... ehehehhhehehe, Diggins knows what he's talking about... :3

GOOD NIGHT

I'M TIRED