Dorothea is not Black Alice. Dorothea is not Black Alice. Dorothea is not Black Alice.
No more one hit KOs. No more transformations. No more vore.
Wait, what are you doing with bear plushie? OH SHIT. NO. NO. NO!
Enslaved Soldier Arc
Caged Freedom
I walked through the paved road silently. The trees surrounded every step I made, as if not letting me see around me.
I remembered walking through this path, and stopped. This has happened before.
A sound suddenly filled the silence, and all the trees suddenly lost their leaves.
As the sun slowly disappeared from the sky, I looked over to a tower in the distance.
I have been here before.
Right after the sun was replaced by the moon, a lightning bolt completely vaporized the tower's top. Along the debris, I saw something else falling.
Last time, the falling girl shot a hole through my chest. With this in mind, I tried something different.
I rushed towards the falling person, and successfully saved her from a definitive demise. Her pink hair reminded me of what happened here last time.
Instead of letting her go here, I ran away from the tower while carrying her.
When we were far enough, I gently dropped her off.
She kindly thanked me, and I felt my heart skip a beat as she hugged me. Only to stop permanently.
An sharp, almost unbearable pain struck the back of my neck.
My body gave up on me way before my mind. I couldn't breathe anymore. My heart had just stopped there.
The last thing I felt were her tears dropping on my face.
No more confusing dreams... I wasn't even sleeping. I feel like I've been out for a month.
"Ah... my guardian angel..." I muttered while enduring a strange weight all over my body.
Oh no, this weight is breathing! And has a beating?! I think it's also bleeding all over my clothes. What was I doing?
"Ew..." I pushed aside Dorothea's unconscious body off me. I don't know what the hell just happened, but she's still alive. I have to end this.
I looked at my side to see my sword still stuck in the same place. I weakly removed it, and approached Dorothea with a slow but steady pace.
I didn't feel happy, or sad. I just wanted to end this once and for all. I couldn't help but feel like this has happened already.
I raised my sword and expected to pierce her heart. No use in torturing her now, if she's unconscious. It's not like I would enjoy it much.
"Would you mind telling me what are you doing?" Somebody stopped my arms, sparing the alchemist's life.
"...Isn't that obvious?" I looked over to the ever smiling man, as calm as ever.
Ran just appeared out of nowhere. Which means he had been just watching, or just stumbled across and decided to intervene. But his damn cool aura tell me the former is way more likely.
"Yes, but I'm afraid that whatever the reason is, I can't allow it." Ah, how about no? I have the chance and he's not going to take it away.
The frustration I felt at that moment quickly became anger. No, rage.
"What? Do you also have a death wish?" I have a freaking dragon sword and you bet I will use it!
"You're usually far more composed. Calm down and then I may explain myself."
"I'll calm down. When I kill her." I tried to break away from his grasp, but I was way too weakened to do that.
I looked over to Egu, who was unconscious as well. Or dead. Which means I can't rely in a surprise attack.
Tsk... I'll have to speak my way out. But I'm not calming down.
This fucking girl has more luck than a leprechaun. Seriously, why does nobody kill her?! Let me! Let me do it! I'll even use only my hands! Just strangle her to death! Painless, I assure you!
"To think that you're protecting that... waste of air. I thought we had the same objective, it was just a cover up to let my guard down?" I struggled hopelessly as he pushed me aside from Dorothea.
"That was a big misunderstanding. Let's say... that I'm trying to find the rabbit den, but I don't know where it is." Why does he speak in symbolism? Just say what you want to do!
"You're following Alice, because she's following the rabbit. No wait, she's the rabbit. So.. what? Speak clearly for once!"
I thought he was talking about Alice in Wonderland, but I think he's trying to tell me something else. No more similes, please.
"I thought you liked classics, guess I was wrong. I'm trying to find someone, but she's the only one that can lure them out. This is why I cannot let you kill her. She's way too valuable." He lost his smile with that sentence. Perhaps... he also has something to deal with.
"...I don't know why you're telling me this, but my mere existence is pending or her life. If she lives, I die."
I tried to move once again, but I couldn't do anything now.
I lost. There's no way she is not telling that I killed Stylish, and I won't be able to recover in time. Then I'll have to incapacitate Ran now.
I stuck the sword on the ground again, but unlike last time, nothing happened. Shit.
Come on dragon...!
"Trust me once, and I'll show you that his temporary alliance might be worth it for you. You're as valuable as her, so why would you think that I'm trying to deceive you?"
This feels like extortion.
Wait, I'm valuable? I don't know how to take that. It means he also has something in mind for me.
... I don't have any other option. It's a dead end for me either way.
"How do I know you'll keep your word? We aren't... in the same group." I averted my eyes, and removed the sword from the ground. It weighs a lot now.
"That's precisely why you can trust me." His words were so inconsistent I had trouble following the conversation. Does he believe I'm intelligent or something? I'm no idiot but perhaps he does it on purpose.
Give me a straight answer already!
"I don't know what you're suggesting." I admitted.
He, however, was very pleased about my answer.
"I see you are understanding it." A more natural smile replaced his normal expression.
"The Jaegers can't know about it, is that it?" The slight change on his expression was all I needed to relax. "If I do this, will I be able to finish what I started?"
"That'd be your reward." I could also see a shift on his tone as we approached equal terms.
That's a pretty lame reward. I want an advance payment. Like cutting her tongue. And hands so she can't write. Then, although pretty messed up, we'll be able to talk!
"And you're doing this because...?" I tried to find any kind of quirk that he may have when lying. However, I didn't notice anything strange.
"Reuniting with her friends." Oh wow, he's a comedian too. "I could ask the same thing to you, but I'm sure you wouldn't answer."
"And those 'Friends' have teigus?" If I could get them, I'd be much stronger. Not individually, but you know what I'm saying. Having Dorothea's teigu would also help.
If those "friends" have teigus, not only I will be a step ahead of the Empire, I'd be a force to be reckon with. Assuming I'm actually something by that time.
"Perhaps they do." His brief answer made me assume they do have them.
Next objective is set. Not only I'll be able to get rid of that alchemist, but I'll be able to be a threat with those Imperial Arms. It's a win-win situation.
"What's the plan then? Because if she talks I..." I addressed that problem once again, just in case.
"I'd like to speak about this in a more... safe environment." He waved his hand to emphasize the issue.
"Please, don't let her say anything." I insisted once again.
"Likewise." What...?
After an awkward silence, I decided to keep up with another activity. I'm not really fond of sensei over here. We might be allies for now, but he's like a puppeteer.
"So, yes... I'll help my, eh, subordinate and I'll meet you as soon as I can." I can't help but feel that he's coaxing me. "Then I'll see that master plan of yours."
That was irony, by the way.
I sighed heavily as he had led the entire conversation once again. I'll have to be more aggressive with him. That's right... Aggressive. I'll have my hands tied behind my back, just in case.
"Eh... you know what I'd do?" I grimaced as I heard that voice once again.
I tried to look away from Ran and ended up seeing Seryu again.
I have to bring Egu to the infirmary or something. God knows how many bones that hit broke. It'd be bad to have him out of commission for too long, because I don't really talk to anybody else from my- I guess that explains why people are starting to dislike me.
"Teigus are very important... Without them, you can't really be threatening in this world."
Yes, I know that. I repeated it several times.
I looked how Ran checked the alchemist's vitals, and confirmed she was still alive. After that he gave a weird look before leaving with the old hag.
"Hey, hear me!"
No, I won't!
Shit, I'm acknowledging her existence. I think that's bad. Well, seeing and hearing her is actually pretty bad already.
Meh. As if this is affecting me.
I shook my head and saw that my clothes are stained with her blood. I'll have to burn these clothes, because I don't know how to explain this to whoever asks.
"Tomato sauce?"
Ignore the girl. Ignore her...
I approached my fallen soldier and realized he was still breathing. That must have been a close call. Dorothea must have been weak enough to not deal a killing blow. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to block her and live, much less him.
I sighed once again as I realized that I had filled one hole only to make another. Even if somehow that alchemist leaves me alone, now I have to keep my promise to Ran. Hopefully it will mean less... less that.
I tried to think how to move him out of here. Ran just booked it without even lending a hand, so he obviously doesn't want me to have an easy life. Not much of a change, really.
However, after this... I think this fight just made me realize that I'm actually scared of... that dragon. It wasn't scary, not in the spooky way. It was like something you don't want to mess with, and it obviously wanted to do something with me. So, in order to not be scared I'll have to control this teigu. I mean, giant dragon seems pretty cool but I don't how the hell I did that.
Can't he just appear in a dream and guide me? You know, like some deity that helps me through the journey.
"Goddamn it..."
I managed to get Egu out of the palace and into an infirmary. The look of the palace guards was hilarious, although the same cannot be said for the ones in the barracks. I mean, I wasn't exactly bleeding, but that girl has bled all over me. Look at these stains! What am I supposed to say?!
I couldn't let anyone question me about this anymore, so I removed my jacket and shirt. Although it'd be all fun and hilarious to just walk around like this, I don't want the Ice Queen to jump at me like a dog in heat. Well... I mean, not now.
Like I was in the barracks now, I was able to get a uniform. Although gray isn't exactly my favorite color, it was better than nothing.
"This is mine..." I muttered while finding a brown long coat.
I probably left it here when I was suddenly pulled into the Palace. I couldn't grab everything, so I guess I forgot it.
I suppose you'll be coming back home.
Having everything I needed and feeling a bit stronger than before, I decided to go back and face my demise... or rise from the ashes.
My paranoia and common sense were teaming up, making me think twice what I was about to do. If everything goes wrong, well, killing everyone! That's the best strategy.
I've been thinking, that whatever tree is giving me these rotten lemons should just be pulled out and replaced by a damn palm tree. At the very least, when the stupid coconut falls from the tree, it can kill me right away and not with a stupid infection.
Seriously. "Oh, Tatsumi, you've finally reached the Capital and helped a little girl!" And then bam! No more childhood friends!
Another example? " Oh, Tatsumi, you're finally in the army!" And bam! There goes my last friend!
Not enough? "Oh, Tatsumi, you've finally taken your revenge!" And bam! Fucking demonic vampire female Nicholas Flamel appears and ruins my life!
I don't know why I'm not a zombie yet, but it's getting ridiculous! What's next? Come on! I can't wait! What's it going to be? Something like, I'm actually the descendant of the first emperor and for that I somehow have a terminal disease?!
What is it? Fate? Is this the destiny I am determined to follow? If so, I'm tired of it. Since the first moment.
So you know what? To hell with everything. Fate wants me to fail. It wants me to bow down again, and just erase me from this world, is that it? Well, try it. Try again. Come on, what are you going to take away from me now?
An arm? Not necessary.
A leg? Just a flesh wound.
My life? Ha, as If I had any left.
This. This situation is perfect to me. I don't have anything holding me back. I can act without any kind of remorse.
...
The way back to the Palace was way calmer than usual. I didn't feel bad or good, but it was as if nothing was wrong. I wasn't even bothered as I watched the soldiers of the Palace once again.
"Sup guys." I said peacefully while I entered the palace once again.
They no longer speak to me. Perhaps saying that Esdese would torture them was too much. But I think we're friends now!
However, the calm I felt was dissipated as I entered the Palace. The eerie silence that followed me all along until I reached the entrance was disturbing. As I entered, none of the guards even looked at me. I suspect that it's because I was no longer suspicious.
Later, as I entered deeper into the belly of the beast... I felt at peace. There was really nothing I could do anymore. I just had to sit back, and wait. This time I have also fought with all my might.
But... Unlike the other times, I don't feel hopeless, useless or guilty. Why is that? I have failed again. Why am I ready to face the consequences now? It makes no sense.
People are sad. People are broke. People are worried. People are worried that they're not enough and not amounting to anything and they don't feel good about themselves. People have rough times, and everybody's pretending it's not true.
Have I grown accustomed to failure? Or perhaps...
"Or perhaps we have found the light." I felt a small prick in my neck as I heard her once again.
The light out of this mess. That's right... The light I have forgotten.
I cannot do this. There's no denying that. I'm simply not strong enough. I'm simply not smart enough. That is exactly what I've forgotten.
So why should I bear with everything then? If I can't do this alone, I'll need help. I've not only forgotten my weakness, I've forgotten myself.
I am Tatsumi. I, since the very beginning, said that I'd need people to help me. Why did I forgot that? All this agony I've suffered almost made me disappear, just because I forgot an essential part of me. As much as I said that I needed people, I didn't do anything to actually gain them.
The plan. The plan it's been right before my eyes and I haven't done anything.
Who said that people had to actually think like me to join my cause? I just need strength.
I'll scratch every filter I have. I don't care if you don't have morals, the only thing I need is loyalty. I don't care what you do in your free time. Though I might probably kill you if I know. The only thing I care about is loyalty.
"Oh? I think it goes like this. You use your fine lies and convince Ran to help us. After that, drag that pink hair tsundere to our band. Luckily, the Jaegers and Night Raid will have bled each other out and by then, you'd become a General, thus making Esdese our ally. The final BOOM will be the one that blows the Emperor's brains out!"
Making Mein join me wouldn't be that bad... And Ran helping us seems a given at this rate. I mean, helping me. I think the Prime Minister is way more of a cancer to the Empire than the...
No, even if I somehow lured Mein to me, which I doubt, we lack firepower. I'm not sure if I'll be able to become a general, so relying in that miraculous Esdese to help will mess the plan.
"That might be..." I started to see Seryu once again. This is weird. "Now, we have like... 200 men. We'd need, at the very least 2000 to be a minor threat. And thus far, we only have one teigu. Bad, bad, bad."
"And the best case scenario without Esdese...?" I muttered while walking down the hallway.
"Huh, 10000 men, you and dragon thingy... We need more teigu-users." What the hell, I'm casually talking with her. Well, not a threat.
Wave? I can't know for sure, but he's a possibility... Kurome is excluded for obvious reasons. Bols? No... even while feeling guilty he's still loyal to the Empire. Ran is possible, but it all depends on this mission he's dragged me into.
Akame? Very funny. Mein? Highly unlikeable. Scary cat-lady? Ha! Thread guy? I won't even answer that.
Zank's teigu is god knows where. Koro is... And those scissors... Huh, the scissors. Let's add that to possible teigus.
"That leaves the Prime Minister's son. Who obviously won't help. Aaaand..."
"Nop. Killing her."
"She's also an alchemist. Could pretty much reinforce the army! And reinforce you too. In various ways."
"Shut up."
Tch, if Esdese just helped, everything would be a piece of cake. But relying on that would be pretty bad. In theory, the only one who can beat her anyways is Budou.
But the Great General helping me? That's even more unlikely than Esdese.
Agh, where will I get the help from besides Ran? If Seryu was here then everything would be way easier. If I could have something that controlled people, or I don't know, something to convince them ipso facto.
"You know, there's a very easy way to convince Esdese."
And that's plan D. Which will only happen when I snap and run out of ideas. Until then, I prefer to be the incarnation of pureness on Earth.
"I think killing people removes the whole purity you had. Besides, you've already done some things with that old lady."
What old lady? I've only done that Do-
Oh.
I covered my mouth while yelling in disgust as a gross feeling covered my whole body.
Then I remembered what I did with said hands and proceeded to removed them from my mouth. For some reason, the need of washing my hands was the only thing that I had in mind.
C-Calm down! S-She was young when it happened! B-Besides, I didn't want to do anything so, I, eh! Dirty! Everything's dirty!
"Well, it felt pretty tight. Hey, what if we fingered the wrong hol-"
"Shove it!" I slapped the air, trying to hit my irrepressible headache.
"What is it? Are you telling me you didn't enjoy ever so slightly? I know you did." I felt her body pressing against my back but I moved away before she could wrap her arms around me.
This is the first time she's reappeared so fast... It's starting to get worrisome. I might have judged too soon about not having any side-effects.
"The fact is, you liked every moment, didn't you? Because you love to be controlled. You lack the power to be self-sustaining, because you were born to be a slave. Whether is by pretty words like your parents, by a pure dominatrix like Dorothea or by the beautiful claws of fate. You've never had a choice in the matter."
"That's not true!" As soon as I raised my voice she disappeared once again, but I knew my nightmare was not over.
"Is that so? You've suffered so much, passed through so many death sentences like nothing and yet, you somehow are still here. That's because you are already a slave. Of something called fate. And your fate is to suffer through endless scenarios."
I looked to my left, just where her voice was coming from to only be received by nothingness.
"And the worst thing? You love it. Every scenario could have been easily avoided, but you just let them happen. You could have easily handled the bandits that attacked you and your friends, but you just decided to run. You could have simply told me the truth, and I would have stayed in the Capital. You could have easily joined Mein and kill Dorothea before she became a problem."
Every time I tried to pinpoint her location, she appeared elsewhere. Little by little, I felt myself collapsing even more.
Not affecting me. That's right... I'm totally fine. S-She's lying, so it's fine. I am not a slave.
"Besides, why you're so angry about that last one. You saw like... lesbian attempted rape. Diet rape. Rape lite. Rape Zero. Enjoy the new taste of Ne-"
"Get out. Get out of my head!"
"What, don't enjoy my voic-"
"SHUT. UP."
"You're going to defile me with those harsh words."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I punched her figure, but it just disappeared in the thin air.
As I saw her reappear beside me, I tried to move again. I was more sluggish than usual.
That's strange. I can't see anything here, but it feels like I just hit something. Agh, that's not important.
"What would the moon knight do right now?" A chilling hand caressed my cheek, as if trying to deceive me from reality.
"Take the young princess and make her his bride, or take the beautiful queen and brush it aside." Seryu recited as if it was a poem.
I was trying to remember if said quote was in the book, but I looked at her enigmatic spins around herself. Then she stopped and looked at me. And somebody slapped me. I say somebody because it definitely felt real. And an illusion can't do real damage.
I was surprised, of course. Normally things you see in your head hurt you mentally. And the pain was pretty real.
It was right there and then when I though; Wow, I really need to visit a psychology.
"Ser-... S...S...S... Sdesu." My voice weakened as I realized that I wasn't seeing an illusion anymore.
That slap had cleared my senses in a very strange way. Now I was seeing Esdese for some reason, but I don't think it was an illusion anymore. And she was pretty mad for some reason. Huh, I guess I got rid of one master but I still have this one. Freedom, am I right?
"Who were you talking to?" Her calm tone of voice, along the lack of her normal sweetness with me was... worrisome.
Why is everything so cold...
"Not to you." I blurted out the first thing that popped in my mind.
My voice might have been totally normal, but my body language wasn't. I accidentally took a step back which was enough to get caught.
"Really?" I'm not really lying though.
"I don't know, ask me again." In my head it sounded perfectly normal for some reason, but the way her expression shifted told me otherwise.
She looked at my eyes for a moment, and as if seeing something woefully wrong, she sighed heavily.
"What have you done?" Her voice was more stricted, as if she was... disappointed? I can't really describe it...
Maybe it's a tricky question.
"What have I what?" I feel lightheaded now. Pretty sure I'm not bleeding out, so why? Must be the tension.
"Don't avoid the question."
I don't feel threatened for some reason. That's weird. I mean, I don't have anything to hide besides... well, everything. I tend to forget I'm living in a minefield.
Oh yeah, I should answer. I think I'm starting to become a lunatic. That's bad.
"I don't understand what you're talking about." I answered much to her displease.
"Alright then." She approached me without making a sound, pushing something against my neck.
It didn't let me breath normally. My trachea was sure having a fun time with it. Could this be...
A collar?!
"W-What are you doing?" I tried to get rid of it, but it was already locked in place. Come on, what have I done now?!
"Oh, oh! I know the answer!" I felt something controlling me and I just acted out of instinct.
"Shut up!" When I realized I shouldn't be saying things with Esdese right in front of me, it was already too late.
What do I do? Now she's going to question me, and then, and then I'll get...!
"Tatsumi?" I shut my eyes as tightly as I could and let whatever has to happen, happen. "Since when have you been having hallucinations?"
Shit.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I was being... rude? You know, eh, fetishes?" There isn't a way out of this! I can't tell her that my non blood related sister is haunting me for some reason.´
She isn't a ghost! It's all my mind. I can't tell her that because of my ineptitude and Stylish, I started hearing things... And then thanks to being in that laboratory of doom, I started to seeing her way more normally than before. Basically, I can't tell say that I'm a psycho killer.
"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" Holy crap, even with my eyes closed, she's still in my head.
"What's wrong? You were in perfect shape and three days ago you suddenly get ill. Not to mention you haven't been yourself since then." She remarked.
Although I'm sure there was kind intent behind those words, I interpreted them as a hidden dagger below a pillow. If I answer wrong ,that imaginative dagger might kill me.
"What do you mean I'm not myself? I am... I am me." I couldn't get the words right. I don't know if I was scared, or if my brain waves were getting messed up along the way but that definitely didn't help.
"I can't really believe you if you say those words with your eyes closed." I prefer to have my eyes closed, thank you.
I heard her sigh after my silence but rather than disappointed, she didn't leave or punish me.
I felt her hand caressing my slightly irritate cheek, before sliding through my neck and... the shoulder? Why is she... Oh that fucking alchemist and her vampiric fangs of doom! Tell me they heal on their own! Like the bites from real vampires! TELL ME!
"What is this?" She asked full aware of what they were.
Don't freak out! DON'T FREAK OUT.
Calm down, it doesn't have to be from a woman or even a human, you know? Maybe I'm into crossbreeding or something?!
But when I started feeling her killing intent, whatever thought of self-defense I had vanished a little. And considering the state I was already, well.
"W-Well, um..." If I don't give a straight answer, I'm going to die.
"Who bit you? Who drugged you?" I didn't expect that. Definitely didn't.
Drugged? Wouldn't it be poison? Why am I thinking of that now?
"What do you mean? Nobody has..."
May I repeat again how much I hate that alchemist? She drugged me? How the hell did she have drugs in her mouth?! But I don't feel bad or anything! Besides, last time she bit me I didn't...
Well, I was a bit suicidal and everything, but that has another explanation. The only weird thing I've experienced isn't even seeing Seryu, I mean, that already happened even before that. Yesterday, I did feel... well, a bit too aroused by everything but that has an explanation too, I think...
"There isn't a swelling and you aren't bleeding. Are you having any other symptom besides hallucinations? Your heartbeat seems normal. Are you feeling drowsy? Any trouble breathing? Do you have trouble speaking? A headache perhaps?"
I should open my eyes again because she hasn't said anything about how the hell do I have two holes there. In the shoulder.
"Well...No?" I don't why do you ask me, I'm not a doctor, I don't know biology!
But now that you mention it, I do have a bit of trouble talking...
"...Who did it?" And I closed my eyes again.
Shit, if Dorothea has told Ran then I might be in trouble if she dies. He told me she was essential to his plan, and even though I'm not really a part of it, I don't want him getting the wrong idea. So, if I tell her it was the alchemist then... Ran might very well just tell everyone that I killed Stylish. And I don't think he'd want to rape me in exchange.
But if I don't tell Esdese it was Dorothea, then she'll think I'm protecting her and then I'll die. Tortured. She might love me and all, but I don't think she's so in love with me. Right? Right, guys? Guys?!
You know what? I'll take my chances and hope that Dorothea is still unconscious. Ran might be a bit mad if she dies, but hey, what is he going to do? I'm not the one doing crafty things. Well, I am. But he doesn't know. Maybe he does. Whatever.
Now, say the message clearly and calmed. There's no reason to be nervous. Except the whole torture thing.
"It was Dorothea!" And it seems like I'm freaking out. "There was a cape and then I somehow was in the ground and, and, I didn't do anything, anything! I was forced, forced!" Why am I repeating every word?!
I didn't say anything else because I felt she was going to have a mental breakdown if I actually mention what happened.
So when she just gave me a kiss, turned around and saw how her sadistic being came into place, I must say... I was pretty happy. Like wow, fucking finally somebody's going to kill that girl.
Hell, see this moves? I'm freaking dancing of happiness!
But as they say, it's not over until the fat lady sings. I don't know which fat lady is doing the singing or where she's planning on doing her singing. But if I find out where she is, I'd like to put her out of commission for a year.
And now cease the happy dance, because we have to make sure Ran isn't a treacherous bastard.
I didn't know where Ran was at, and that was horrible. I was literally searching without any specific filter.
What are the chances?! I want this girl to die, and she doesn't die. And now she's gonna die, Ran might get upset and I'll die. Who the hell predicted that I'd haul ass to make sure she doesn't die yet?!
Besides, I still have this collar around my neck and that's pretty very humiliating. Why did you put me this?
Oh, and somehow Dorothea infected me with some stupidass drug-poison-venom thingy when she bit me. I swear if I have syphilis, I'm going to murde- Shit...
"You have some bad luck issues." AND THEN THERE'S THIS GIRL!
Why?! Why can't I be happy?! Is it you fate?! Well, come over here, I'm going to beat you up until you say that things are going to go my way. There will be candy, totally not dead people and a whole lot of happiness and ice-cream.
"Left." As soon as I heard that I turned right. "Meany."
Why is she so bipolar? Sometimes she's murdering my mental state and suddenly a second later she's telling me what to do. I guess that's completely linked to my mind or something. Which would justify my sweet tasty craziness.
Oh, would you look at that. Act normal.
I saw Ran as soon as I turned the corner, and decided to play it cool.
Breath, everything is going to be great.
"I believe you... wanted to talk?" My tongue rolled in an awkward manner.
He heard my voice and turned around. His expression, as always, was covered behind a false smile. However I could feel something... off...
"Ah, you're still here?" What? Did he expect me to run? "Forgive for asking, but you wouldn't know why the Commander had an intense bloodlust?" His voice gave away a small amount of resent.
Who is the commander? Ah, yeah. My love. Technically is her love for me. Not the other way around.
"...In my defense, she forcibly undressed me." Technically.
It didn't take any more words for him to understand the situation.
"Did you tell her that it was..."
"I didn't want her to think I was cheating on her!" Although we're not dating. "Besides, between my life and that pain in the ass, the choice is obvious."
I carefully watched any movement, trying to decipher if he knew my sins. However, he hid his true emotions very well. He may have been lying since the first time we met, but I don't have any evidence yet.
"I've waited a lot for a chance like this and though I wouldn't mind waiting again, I won't let this happen if there's even a small opportunity to salvage this." He seemed sincere about this.
"What do you mean?" I felt a small shiver down my spine.
Ah, no, no, no...
"You're the only one who can control Esdese, so tell her just to spare Dorothea." His eyes completely deceived his true intent. How he arched his eyebrows when he referred to me, gave it away.
"You already know, don't you?" I said plain and cold. There's something wrong, and that is the only answer.
He didn't look surprised at all. So at least he thinks I'm not that dumb. I was really expecting some strange philosophical rant, but it was different.
"If you could stop Esdese, I'd really appreciate it." Straight up ignoring me? Does he really think I'd fall for that?
"So what if I don't?" If he knows, at the very least, I want to know what his limits are. He might have not like Stylish at all. Though the whole helping Night Raid might lead him astray.
"Nothing." His answer caught me off guard.
"What?"
"Unlike Esdese, I don't want to force any human being into tasks tha-"
"The hell are you saying?" Is he... Is he really choosing to not do anything with the info? Or does he not know?
No, he must know. So why does he not do anything with it? Is he really expecting me to help him out of... pure kindness?
"I thought that you'd be willing to help." He can't be that stupid. There's obviously a trap here. It's like a hole with a sign that says that there's no hole below it.
Right? Or maybe it's just... that it's been a long time since I saw goodness in this world. Besides, if I help him, I'm sure he'll return the favor.
Yeah, this is the first time I've been tasked to do something not because I was ordered to, but because I was asked to.
I'm totally not trying to manipulate him.
"...Alright, I'll help. But tell me one thing. What were you doing before you found us?" I'm referring to the fight.
"I've been keeping my eye on you two. Something has been bothering me since she appeared." If what he's saying is true, then that could be bad news to me.
If he has seen me outside then he must know that about what happened in that alleyway. But if he knows that Night Raid has been right outside the door, why is everyone so calm? Hopefully he only has been watching us inside the palace which shouldn't be enough, as he has only been here since yesterday and I've been out of commission for three days so... Unless he somehow saw me doing... eh, those things with her then there shouldn't be nothing to worry about.
"Are you alright? You look rather pale." His voice warped me back to reality.
"Yes, I'm perfect. What are you going to be doing in the meantime?" He flicked his hair before answering.
"I'll try to get General Budou. He's the only one who she can consider a threat. It might be enough to make her calm down." He emphasized the word 'Threat' for some reason.
I saw Seryu appearing besides Ran, shaking her head for some reason. Not again!
"And where's the alchemist? It'd be a nice touch if you told me." I asked, trying to hide my unhappiness.
"She should be around here." And that doesn't tell me anything.
"So she is still breathing, and she left you." It was unusual to hear Ran say so little information.
"I did what I needed to do." He sounded rather suspicious telling me that.
Did he put her a bandaid and just rolled with it? What did he want to do with that old lady? It even bothers me how he said that I was as important as her. Why did he say that? Because I somehow control Esdese...?
Even if I ask him, I doubt he'd say anything.
"And did she tell you anything?"
I felt the temperature drop as soon as I mentioned that. The only way to fight Ran is through words, and that is something I'm horrible at. However, this is the first time I've saw him pause like that.
"She didn't tell me anything. Although I'd suggest you to pick some less busy areas to play submission." He bowed slightly and went his way without saying anything else.
He knows. He must know. He's trying to make me think about other things, so I don't think that he can pull the trigger. But then, shouldn't he use that to his advantage instead of fooling around?
He's trying to trick me for some reason. Or did Dorothea really evade him, and didn't say anything?
"Well, he knows at least what you did in the entrance. Which is strange, because there were only two people there. It was her fault for moaning like that. In any case, I've never thought you'd be such an idiot."
And there she goes. I'll try to stop Esdese somehow. I'll have to follow the rage and then stop her with... kisses or something.
Wait, what the hell did he meant by control her? I don't even know how to talk properly to her! She's the dominant in the relation, not me! She clearly told me to not try to change her because I was going to be the one who changes.
"And why are you trying to be nice again? I thought two deaths were enough. When you said the whole 'recovering your ideals' I didn't know you said to revert back to being an useless retard. More than now anyways."
Shit, if she keeps rambling, I'm going to kill myself. I can't bear with her for too long, and now I don't have Esdese to slap me back to reality.
Just go to stop her.
"By the way, you got played real nice by that intricate webweaver. And you knew it, but chose to not believe it. My god, why have we reverted so much in thirty minutes?"
"I know that he's plotting something. And he knows that I killed Stylish. The thing is that he doesn't have any evidence besides Dorothea's testimony." In the hypothetical case she told him. "But thanks to Esdese now it's not relevant. Who's going to believe someone that has hurt her poor Tatsu?"
"Ohh, did you really think that through? Just because she doesn't believe him, it won't stop Ran from knowing your secret."
"Well, we don't know if he actually knows what I did a-"
Shit, I'm talking to her again. And I actually spoke out loud like an idiot. She's not here, so you have to endure it.
What I was trying to say is that I need allies, no matter how. If Ran knows, then I'll have to make him feel empathy. I don't know if Stylish and Ran were friends, but if he discovers what he did, that shift the balance quite a lot.
"So you're trying to deceive everyone to work with you. What are you going to do when all of them know your lies and gang up on you?"
...When that happens, the Empire will be already gone. I'm not going to be Emperor, the people will decide who is going to be the... eh... president? I think it's that.
"And if they choose you?"
"Hey, it's a coup d'état. I will just be known as the guy who was stupid enough to actually do it. Then whoever wants can come and clean the mess for me. Probably the Revolution..." Yeah, I'm not a politician. And if somehow things still go south, well, we can repeat the coup again.
"I thought you didn't like what your master told you. Why don't you join the Revolution then?" Good, at least she is still normal. I wonder if she can hear all this.
"Gee, I don't know. What part about civil war sounds appetizing to you? Families torn apart because they support X or Y. People killing each other for reasons they don't even truly know. At least, if I do a coup, only around... I don't know, 500 lives will be lost." More or less. I mean, I didn't really count the soldiers that will die. And aristocracy. And all those corrupt people.
...
"Tatsumi? Why did you stop?"
I was walking pretty fast, but a sudden ache in my abdomen made me stop. I stopped by one of the large windows that covered part of this corridor.
Ah no... my stomach is like that one time. Did I get drugged when I first fought her?
After she bit me in the Stylish Raid, what happened? The depression, followed by a general unrest and then I threw up. A day later I passed out.
And now, I got pretty depressed with Seryu, I feel pretty strange talking and my stomach is telling me to evacuate from the throat. But I don't remember going that fast.
Wait, what happened after I got a bit better? I felt a bit too... eh, aroused. And then Dorothea tried to give a footj- Wait, but how could she know I wouldn't die that day? I don't think she's that clever. Besides, if you're going to have poison in your mouth, at least make sure it kills your enemy.
Perhaps this is just a big coincidence.
Well, that doesn't deny the fact that I'm going to puke. Perhaps I can punch one of these windows, and throw up outside. Nobody will suspect a thing, except the glass.
"Mein isn't here to make you happy now. Perhaps you are going to kill yourself." She changed again to sadist mode...
"Didn't a great man say; You make your destiny?" Shit, I know precisely where this is going. "Wouldn't that mean that you are your own slave? A slave of fate... but you created that fate. So what does that mean?"
I took some slow breaths, and looked forward again. I can bear with this unsettled stomach for now. I have to stop Esdese for a bit. Just have to follow this way.
"'Thou Shalt', that's what those holy books say, but you think 'I will'. You were the one who decided who was going to live and die. You killed everyone indirectly! Aren't you proud of it?"
I leaned against the wall as a piercing pain drilled my head. The sickness I was feeling was completely overtaken by this terrible emotion.
I wasn't thinking; Am I going to die poisoned?, or; That stupid vampiric slut!
I didn't want to give up. If it wasn't for Mein that last time, I could have very well let myself die of hypothermia. I don't know how my mind changed so quickly of mood. Just a second ago I was determined to continue fighting, but now everything is so... bleak.
"Oh? I remember now what you said. What is fate going to take away from me? You do have that last friend. How is Pinky going to die? Will she die saving you... Or maybe suffer a fate worse than death? A permanent coma or, perhaps sold as a slave. No wait, better yet, a sex slave! Maybe she'd enjoy it and everything."
Something in my mind is screaming. Die, die, die. That's what it's saying. I don't... I don't want to die. I have to keep going, I promised. I have to...
I felt my legs giving up as I started to slide down the wall. Something is ringing in my ear. Shut up, shut up...
Useless, useless! That's... that's...!
I felt somebody hugging me, but I didn't feel warm. Cold, like death...
"We can be brother and sister again... your friends, they will be there too. You wouldn't leave us alone, would you?"
Give up...? Give up. Don't... Don't give me that bullshit.
"Who the hell do you think you are..." I used the wall beside me to stand up. I felt weak and rather uneasy about everything. "You aren't my sister. You are just a part of me who has given up."
I looked at Seryu who didn't have any kind of emotion in her face.
"You try to tell me how much I screwed up in the past. And you know what? You are right. I would have changed everything. But give up? Give up just because I have suffered? I don't care about myself. Everyone's dying wishes are still on my shoulders. I wouldn't forgive myself if I let them down now. I already mourned your death long enough. I miss you as much as I miss Sayo and Ieyasu. And that's why!"
As if her ethereal properties just vanished, I was able to lift her up by the throat without any trouble.
" I love my past, I love my present. I am not ashamed of what I have had, and I am not sad because I no longer have it." My headache seemed to cease, but it didn't stop.
The illusion disappeared in thin air while I panted heavily, feeling acid on the back of my throat.
"Is it gone? Haha... I did it? Ha... Whoo-!" I shut my mouth as something tried to launch itself out of my esophagus.
I'm still in bad shape. I shouldn't really talk. But if I don't Dorothea will die, and the key to all those tasty teigus will be gone. And now, if that weird clapping could stop for a moment, I'll be great. Wait, clapping?
"Did you really expect to yell 'Noooo!' and then disappear as I melted down? If crappy friendship powers really existed, I don't think all your friends would have died." The whole self-hatred really came back with a stomp after I heard her once again.
"Shit." Although I wanted to say that, I had just say that I wasn't going to talk. Besides, my voice isn't that feminine.
My adrenaline kicked in as I recognized that voice, making me feel even worse than before.
Her red dress really covered most of the bloodstains she had, but the ripped attire showed that ugly wound I had created. Whatever Ran had done to her, it definitely wasn't healing. The only distinction I see on her is the whole, 'I'm a cute girl again'. So no more wrinkles to make fun of.
She was clinging to the wall, and didn't look like she could walk on her own. She definitely hadn't taken the whole "losing too much blood" very well, and I'm fairly sure that I could kill her right now, even in my state. Dorothea has the ticket to hell right now, and she just needs to pick the train.
Even if I manage to stop Esdese from murdering her and settles down with just torture, that alchemist is already half dead. She's not going to survive that.
"...I always heard that old ladies are very sweet and caring. Thanks for letting me see that you're an exception." My insult flew past her, as she didn't even move an inch.
"Are you done? Because you look done." She took a step back, trying to go back on her tracks.
What a bitch.
I can't really just say: Kidding, didn't really want to murder you.
I guess I know why Ran said to stop Esdese, to avoid this uncomfortable meeting.
"Hey..." A swift thought rambled through my head, as I felt that my dignity just disappeared from my body.
As a long-term plan was suddenly contributed by someone inside my mind, I had realized that I had changed just a bit. At the end, I can't follow morals if my enemies aren't. Sorry Mein, I am going to kill her later.
"If you ran away now, the Ice Queen is going to completely destroy you. Did I mention torture? Well, throw some salt in there too." I heard what happens with a goat and salt. Those goat demons need to check their freaking tongues.
Her expression did change this time. I believed she would think it was a joke, or laugh at me. Her failed attempt to remain calm failed, and tripped over with her dress as she tried to approach one of the windows that filled the corridor.
I didn't do anything, because I didn't understand what she was doing. Jump out of the window or what?
"H-HEY!"
I rushed over as she opened the window and climbed on top of it. I don't know if she is trying to kill herself or fly away like Pegasus, but either choice is bad for me.
I grabbed her frail body before she could do anything else. She flailed angrily as I saved her from a painless death.
"Let go of me, you fucker! I'm not getting tortured! I prefer to die right now!" Even like this, she was still stronger than me. And her desperate yelling didn't really help.
My stomach was enjoying this so much, I had to gave up in the struggle.
"At least tell me how to get rid of the poison!" I held throat with both of my hands, retaining all that fluid within inches of my epiglottis.
"The fuck are you saying?" She looked at me disgusted before trying to jump out of the window once again.
Is she screwing with me or what?
I grabbed her once again before she could do anything else. Now she was really pissed off with me. I have to tell her.
"Look, I'm actually a pervert so I'm going to make sure you don't die." My words didn't really have any truth behind them, but hey, I can at least try to not kill her.
"Shut up! I'll die like the beautiful rose I am!" She tried to punch me, but I managed to dodge it. She wasn't exactly fast before, and now she's even slower. She really was weak.
Well, for an old lady, it was pretty good.
She suddenly stopped struggling, as if she had step in the panic button. Whatever desire she had to fight evaporated like boiling water.
I didn't even need to turn around to know what was happening. Although with me being between the predator and its prey, I really don't like my position right now. Why wasn't I looking for the sadistic woman?!
"Um..." I simply backed out and let whatever had to happen, happen.
What the hell am I supposed to do? I can't control that Esdese! I mean, I would really like to have some new teigus, but it's stupid to have them if I'm dead!
But like Ran said, if there's ever the slightest chance for this to work, I will have to grasp that probability. My fears cannot get in the way of a brighter future.
Perhaps this is what I was so worried about in the Red District. I knew that I was becoming a monster, but at the very least, there was the line of morals and ethics restricting me. I already got rid of evil and good, my friends and I'm barely holding on that petty innocence I have left. And now I've decided to get rid of morals to reach my goal.
However, if I feel like something is wrong, I will definitely stop it. If I don't see it, not my problem. But if the person carrying such action is me, well, I will allow it.
"Grab some popcorn, the Biology class is about to start. Unless you stop Esdese which is highly unlikeable."
Oh, please. If Ran really believes I can control Esdese, there might just be a shift in this balance. Besides, I'm not really manipulating her. I'm just using her which is pretty much the same but more straight forward.
"So does that mean getting naked?"
Eh, no. I'll be a Grey Eminence and solve this with diplomacy. Like Sun Tzu said, the supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.
"Yeah, and didn't he also said; If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight? What are you going to do when Esdese just slaps you out of the way?"
Woah, woah. I just have to stall time until Budou arrives. I don't need to convince her.
"You really have no idea of what to do, do you?"
Not in the slightest. Besides, if I fail, I won't really grieve. Just a dead alchemist, and a happy me. I won't have more teigus, but my moral will skyrocket.
Whether if she lives or not, there's only one winner. There will be nobody to stop the webs that I'll weave around here. And outside too.
That's right. The rebellion that will provide my success starts from now on! The insecurities are now gone. No more planning.
To kill an Emperor, first start with its horse.
So... almost a month, eh...
I. HATE. THIS. CHAPTER. Why do you think I have been so late? Everytime I read it, I had to rewrite most parts. It was so infuriating I almost thought of dropping the Hiatus bomb. Now you can criticize all you want, I'm ready. However, do not worry, I'm still on action until... November, which will be hell for me.
That's it. Let's continue.
Now things start rolling. And my own hype has almost broken one of my fingers. Seriously.
I'll be honest with you guys, there was supposed to be a Wave (More like Jaegers) chapter right about now. But I felt that I had delayed enough this chapter.
And I somehow haven't answered any reviews, and I feel ashamed to do it now. I guess I'll answer them tomorrow, but then I'll get messed up with the reviews of this one but... bah, FREE ANSWERS FOR EVERYONE..
Well, this ends this arc. Next one is going to be like 5 chapters long, including a Night Raid/Jaegers interlude. Yes, that one fight. It will be about Tatsumi earning what he deserves. Well, except that lemon part that I'm not too sure I'll actually write. Depends of whatever you guys want.
And... So sorry about the delay. I've literally rewritten this chapter four times. And yes, this monstrosity is the best thing I could actually get.
And now, I will proceed to read more Nietzsche.
Thank you very much for reading.