It's after 12:30 in the afternoon when Peeta finally gets out of bed. I get him a glass of water from the kitchen and curl up next to him on the couch.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask him.
"Not really." He responds in a hoarse voice that remind me of all the screaming that he did last night.
"Listen to you ! You sound awful." I start kissing his throat and I can feel a tear drip on his neck.
"Katniss I'm okay." He whispers and plays with my hair.
"I was so scared. I thought I lost you." He tries to wipe away my tears but the bandages on his hands are getting in the way.
"I told you I'm not going anywhere. Last night was scary but now that I know what it feels like I will know how to head it off. I should have given myself the shot the minute I felt it creeping up but I thought I could control it. I was so stupid….I could have hurt Johanna or you. God I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ever hurt you." His eyes start to well up and I kissing his face and lips to give him comfort.
"I know you'd never hurt me." I say looking into his eyes.
"How? How do you know?" He sounds unsure and scared.
"Because you love me and it's deep down, deeper than anything the Capitol planted ."
He sighs deeply and rests his forehead on mine. I think of how only last night I thought I might lose him forever. I never want to feel that again. If I could stay glued to him for the rest of my life I would. I start to kiss him gently making sure not to rub against any scrapes or bruise he incurred last night. I rise from my seat on the couch and straddle him .I can feel his firmness resting beneath me.
"Is this okay? Am I hurting you?" I ask continuing to place soft kisses anywhere I can reach.
"It's good… I mean no you're not hurting me." He seems a little flustered. I don't usually initiate things like this .I begin to slowly undress for him and he doesn't take his eyes off of me the entire time. He keeps raising his hands to touch me but his bandages are holding him back and I can see how frustrated he his. "Tell me what you want. I'll be your hands." His eyes widen with surprise. This is definitely new for us.
"I ummm…wow." I give a small laugh at how flustered he is .I continue kissing him and start rocking my hips back and forth over his hardness. The only thing separating us is the loose pajama bottoms he's wearing. "What would you do if you could touch me?" I ask in a shy whisper.
"I'd… ummm…. your chest. I'd touch your chest." I take my hand and slowly guide it over my breast.
"Like this ?"I ask biting my lip.
"Uh huh, then I'd take your nipple between my fingers and… this is so hot…"
"And what? Would you tug like this?" I tug at my nipple lightly and he moans. This is so out of character for me but I love making him happy I love turning him on.
"Yes like that. Then I'd trail my hand down here." he kisses me between my cleavage but quickly raise his head so he doesn't miss watching me follow his detailed instructions. He's rocking his hips against mine now and I'm so turned on I don't know how much longer I can go on.
"What now." I say breathlessly. His eyes are intense as he watches me trail my fingertips down my cleavage.
"Lower….now lower…..mmmmm" He guides me with his voice until my fingers are resting on my most sensitive area. I've never touched my self before not like this .The feeling is new and awkward at first but as I stare at Peeta's rapid breath and hungry eyes there's nothing more I want to do. I'm moist inside and my fingers glide in easily.
"What now." I whine .
" ummm softer uh huh.. now move your fingers in a circle…yeah like that. Now faster…yes a little fast." I'm whimpering because it feels so good.
"mmmm,Peeta I want you."
"I want you too." he growls
"I need you inside of me." I say desperately. He nods his head rapidly in agreement .I pull down his pants and lower myself onto him.
"Ahhhh, I love you." He watches me as I ride him back and forth rocking slowly until I start to feel the familiar tingle that makes me scream.
"Peeta I 'm going to… mmmmm."
"Me too …don't stop. God don't stop." I have to hold down his wrists down as we come because he keeps trying to touch me and I don't want him to reopen any wounds. His mouth makes up for what his hands cannot do. He trails his lips and tongue all over my body occasionally grazing his teeth over my skin. Once we are both completely spent I slowly remove myself from his lap causing us both to sigh from the sensation. He sits with his head laying back on the couch as he closes his eyes . I place my head on his shoulder and lean up to kiss his earlobe.
"How could someone who can make me feel like that ever hurt me?" I can see him grin then he turns his head and stares at me. He brushes a piece of hair away from my eyes and kisses the tip of my nose. I can tell he's feeling better but there's still sadness behind his eyes. I have an idea.
"Get dressed. I want to take you somewhere." I'm being cryptic but luckily he plays along.
"God where are you taking me we've been walking forever."Peeta asks with a little exasperation in his voice.
"I know, but it will be worth it you'll see. "I say looking back at him. "Catch up slow poke."
"I'm paying attention to how we got here just in case you abandon me like last time." He's laughing but I think he's being honest. I think back to that day I left him in the woods .I was so broken and scared.
"I'm not going to abandon you .Come on its right up ahead." I grab his hand and pull him along.
"This must be good I don't think I've ever seen you so exci….." His voice trails off as the lake comes into view. He stays frozen behind me. Both of our eyes are locked on the water that is still covered with ice from the recent cold temperatures. The lake is a hidden treasure unknown to most. Seeing it for the first time is a pleasant shock. I almost envy Peeta .I remember what joy it brought me the first time I saw it. I hope he feels the same.
" My father would bring me here when I was little. It was our special place. I use to play in that house over there and I'd dig up Katniss roots in the lake. It's where I learned how to swim. If things ever get really bad I come here and… it's like the lakes gives me clarity .It comforts me. Do you like it?"
I turn to look at Peeta and see he is awe-stricken. I don't think he expected anything like this.
"I love it. I can see why you come here. Thank you for sharing your happy place." he comes behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.
"My happy place?" I repeat "Yeah I guess it is my happy place."
We sit in silence staring at the lake and breathing in the fresh air. He continues to hold me but his grip begins to get rigid and I can tell somethings wrong. Eventually he speaks up.
"I'm a monster." He mumbles under his breath. Obviously last night is still weighing heavily on his mind.
"What? No … how could you even think that?" I turn and kiss him on the cheek.
"That's what they turned me into. How could I have lost control like that? I swore they'd never change me and they did. They won." He's noticeably upset .
"Stop it. That's a lie and we both know it. Even with everything they did to you, everything they took away …you are still kind, caring, and positive. If they were successful you would have killed me back in thirteen."
"I almost did."He stares at me with pain in his eyes.
"But you didn't! You had many opportunities and here I am alive and breathing .You are one of the strongest people I know, they could never change you. " It looks like whatever I am saying is sinking in because the pain in his eyes is beginning to fade.
"I love you."he whispers to me staring into my eyes.
"I love you. See a Capitol Mutt Peeta would never love me."
"True and I do love you , more than you will ever know." He says kissing me softly.
We begin to get cold so I decide it's as good a time as any to head home. Peeta gets a glimmer in his eye and says
"Let me get us home. I want to see if I remember." It's like he's a child playing a fun game.
"You weren't kidding before where you? You really were paying attention to how we got here. I would never actually abandon you." I'm laughing .Peeta raises his eyebrows at me as if he doesn't believe me. "Fine. Lead the way Captain."
Peeta's able to get us home with only a few wrong turns and he looks very proud of himself.
"I'm very impressed." I tell him as we get to my front steps.
"Don't sound so surprised. I am a Hunger Games Victor you know." I roll my eyes .I'm glad to see him in a lighter mood.
"I'm going home to shower. I'll meet you an Jo later okay?"I kiss him goodbye and watch him walk away. I begin to reach for the door knob only I don't need to open it because Johanna beats me to it.
"Where have you been?" she whispers to me pulling me into the house. She looks anxious.
"I took Peeta to the woods .Why, what's wrong?"
"I went into to town to get something to eat .When I was finished I passed by the train station." She's still talking in a hushed voice.
"Okay… and?"
"And that's when I saw him. He was with a whole group of people. He looks so different."
"Who looks so different. You're being weird."
"Gale! He's here in twelve."
Keep the reviews and suggestions coming.I love reading your opinions and takes on the readers have made this such a positive experience for me and I'm touched by all the kind words and excitement this story has gotten. Things are about to change in the J.T.H world. What do you think will happen? :)