There had to be a way to do this. There had to be. Every problem had a solution, even this one. So what if he hadn't managed to get up the nerve to talk to Francis last night? It was a conversation best left for when they were alone together, considering the sensitivity of the topic. They hadn't gotten any more alone time last night after Alfred and Arthur dragging Antonio in, so he'd decided to put it off until later.

Now, as he was walking to his first class of the morning, he knew Alfred was asking Francis for advice on how to ask Arthur out on a date, knew his brother was more flustered and nervous than ever. The American had been jittery since the moment he woke up and it was both amusing and endearing. If Arthur said no, Matthew would be almost as disappointed as Alfred would.

I'm sure he'll say yes. There's no reason not to. He and Alfred get along pretty well and they'd work together. I just hope Francis can give him some useful advice.

Of course, he had complete faith in the Frenchman. Francis had been perfectly sweet when he asked Matthew to be his boyfriend, and practically perfect about it when he asked to take the younger blond on their first date. He shouldn't have any trouble at all with helping Alfred figure out how to ask Arthur.

He'll probably have asked by dinner tonight, and then the two of them will be embarrassed and shy and he'll want to tell the whole campus but Arthur will want to keep it a secret.

It was going to be cute to watch things develop between his brother and their friend.

Hot air greeted him as he entered the building and he began breaking down his layers as he made his way to the classroom. This was his last class of the day and he was looking forward to heading back to the dorm when it was over, since he and the others were supposed to be studying together for the rest of the evening, taking a break for dinner and the occasional snack. He'd never studied with Alfred or Francis or any of the others before, so it would be interesting to see how focused the other students were. He, of course, was capable of immersing himself in his notes for hours without breaking focus, but he had the feeling Alfred didn't have that ability. The American had too much energy for it.

With a sigh, the blond sank into his chair at the back of the room and shrugged out of his coat, draping it over the chair back. He had his books out a moment later then took the remaining minutes until class started to relax a bit and let his mind wander—there were perks to showing up a little early for lessons.

Maybe Gilbert would be feeling well enough to come today. Matt certainly hoped so, if only because he wanted the albino to recover and not because he thought they might actually talk. Though he wouldn't mind that, and he let himself smile at the memories of how things used to be. They'd have walked to this class together only a few weeks ago, would have left together and gone to one of their dorms or to the library since it was too cold to spend time outside. He missed doing that.

It's okay, though, because now I'll go back to my room and spend time with Francis, and Alfred will be back a little later. We'll have fun like we always do and…maybe I'll text him.

Yeah, he could do that. Definitely. There was no harm in a little text, but class would be starting in about a minute and he didn't want to be busy on his phone when the professor came in and started class, not that he had a particularly large amount of respect for him. He was who Gilbert had stood up to the day they met after all, so Matthew wasn't all that inclined to like the man. Still, he was here for class, so he left his phone in his hoody pocket and opened his notebook so that he'd be ready to take notes right away. Out of the corner of his eye, though, he watched the door in case the albino did show up.

Right on time, the professor arrived and shut the door behind himself then moved to the front of the room. Matthew held back a slightly disappointed sigh and turned his attention fully forward, though he couldn't help but pick up on the sound of the door quietly being opened one last time, and he hardly dared to hope as he turned his head just slightly.

To his delight, he recognized the white hair and pale complexion of Gilbert as the tall male slipped along the wall and to his desk without the professor noticing. He sat just before the man turned around and hurriedly unpacked his things. It made Matthew's smile grow because how could he ever forget that Gilbert had borrowed a pencil and some paper from him that day? The fact that Gilbert was prepared today made him happy.

He was definitely going to text the older student after class.

x

Shit, this was uncomfortable. It had been five days and he was still having trouble sitting down, though walking was mostly back to normal. This, though, cramming himself into these little desks, was the probably the worst thing.

Should've fucking stayed in bed.

But he couldn't afford to miss another class or he'd start losing grade points, and he really didn't want to have to deal with that. He'd studied too hard and taken too many notes to let his GPA suffer just because he didn't feel like putting up with some pain in his ass. It was his own fault, anyway, so he was forcing himself to endure it without complaint. That didn't mean, though, that he wasn't going to rant and rave in his head.

God damn Russian. Probably bought me zhat vodka on purpose, knew it vould get to me. Und zhen he took me back to his room vizhout giving me a choice. Good sex, bad decision.

Don't blame him, it vas your fault. You asked him if he had a car. You refused preparation.

I know.

Idiot.

I know!

He already felt fucking terrible about it, and then he'd been rude to Ivan even though the Russian barely deserved that. But he felt he'd been taken advantage of and the fact that Ivan went and told Matthew only made it that much worse. And now the blond was sitting only a few desks away, focused on the professor as the lecture began. He could have sworn he saw the younger male smile as he walked in, but he wasn't willing to put too much faith in that. Chances were, Matthew hadn't even noticed him.

Why should he?

Barely managed to say hi to him on Monday and haven't seen him again until now. It'd be best if he just forgot about me. I'll focus on school, graduate in a year and move far away, never bother him again.

There was no determination even in his thoughts. He knew he'd be miserable if he actually went through with that plan and just imagining not having Matthew in his life anymore made him glance at the bespectacled blond. Matthew was biting his lip, looking back and forth between his notebook and the blackboard to make sure he was copying the notes correctly. It was such a familiar sight that Gilbert almost chuckled. He missed studying with the younger student, partly because no one had managed to get him to focus on his schoolwork before Matthew came along. Now, he felt genuine guilt if he so much as half-assed his assignments; he knew the Canadian expected better of him.

Listen to you. You do your homevork so you von't disappoint somevone who isn't even your friend anymore.

Truth was, he was still hoping he could fix things. As much of an ass as he'd been, as harsh and angry and downright mean as his behavior towards the smaller male was, he couldn't help but miss him and want to fix things. Especially after the way Matthew had yelled at him for insulting Francis. He didn't like Francis and it did upset him that Matt had started dating him, but he had no right to complain about it. Still, his temper had gotten the best of him. Ludwig had forced him to admit that, forced him to come clean about how he felt about all of this.

Jealous.

Gilbert was a jealous bastard and he'd ruined the best friendship he'd ever had, which might have turned into the best relationship of his life. But he'd gotten jealous of Francis and lost his temper and now the only thing left for him to do was try to fix it. Fixing it, though, was much easier said than done. He could barely get up the nerve to look Matt in the eye, let alone talk to him and apologize.

For the last few weeks, he'd felt decidedly un-awesome and he was really starting to get tired of it.

x

All right, all right. He could do this. No big deal. Easy. Yeah.

Gripping his bag's strap so tight his knuckles ached, Matthew kept his eyes on the back of Gilbert's head as he and the other students filed out of the classroom at the end of the lecture. All he had to do was speed up a little, catch the older student's arm or call his name. Easy. He should be able to do this without a problem.

What if he shakes me off like last time?

The possibility hurt. He didn't want that to happen again, ever, but he couldn't help but be nervous that Gilbert wouldn't want to talk to him.

It was fine on Monday. We were fine. He was nice. He called me his Vogel. It's fine. Just talk to him.

A deep breath. Two. Three. His grip tightened. His heart was pounding almost painfully. God he couldn't do this—

"Gilbert!" he blurted the name out, sounding more emotional than he would have liked, but the white-haired man stopped, turned, and smiled. Matthew's heart fluttered.

"Ja?"

Still nervous about this, Matthew approached the taller male and offered his own small smile. "I…uh…how are you?" he asked, falling into step beside his former friend as they let the flow of students carry them outside and towards their dorm hall.

"Vell enough, I suppose." Red eyes glanced down at him. "You?"

"Good, I'm good."

They smiled at each other, both a little uncertain but hopeful.

"So, zhings are going vell vizh Francis?" The question was obviously strained, and Matthew wished he could show his appreciation that Gilbert had asked even though he knew the albino wasn't pleased about the situation.

"Oui, they are. He's great." He paused, noting the less-than-pleased expression on Gilbert's face at that. Another calming breath. "I miss you."

It was quiet after he said it, the words sinking in for both of them. Matthew felt better for having said it, though he was still a little worried that his feelings wouldn't be returned. Yes, he was dating Francis, was happy with him, but he still wanted Gilbert back in his life, even as just a friend.

Say something. Don't leave that hanging. Please, just say something. Even if you don't miss me, too, say so.

Gilbert cleared his throat and Matthew couldn't help but glance up at him, chewing on his lip to keep from blurting out something else and interrupting him.

"I…" he stopped, swallowed, tried again, "Ich vermisse dich auch."

Even though he didn't speak German and didn't quite know what the albino had said, Matthew smiled. He knew Gilbert well enough to know the man had trouble expressing his feelings sometimes, especially soft emotions, and speaking in his native tongue made it easier for him. Odds were, Gilbert had just admitted to missing him, and that made him happy.

"So, would you like to come over some time? Watch a movie?" the smaller male asked hopefully.

"Vould your boyfriend be okay vizh zhat?"

Oh.

"Uh, yeah, probably." He forced a smile. "He won't mind me hanging out with my best friend."

The albino's eyebrows went up at that, and he looked down at Matthew in obvious surprise. "Best friend?"

Blushing a little now, Matt fidgeted with the cuffs of his sleeves and nodded. "Yeah." Of course Gilbert was still his best friend. If he wanted to be, anyway. There would never be anyone who would take that place, even if the albino didn't want the title for himself. No one would replace Gilbert.

"Didn't realize I'd get zhat job back," Gilbert admitted, a little flustered and definitely pleased.

"It's yours if you want it."

They had their hands in their pockets, elbows almost brushing. It was so similar to the way they'd walked together before, but now there were no gentle bumps or half accidental touches. They kept their distance, because Matthew had a boyfriend and Gilbert knew he was walking on eggshells.

"I'd like zhat," Gilbert eventually said, voice quiet. It wasn't lost on him that they were heading away from the dorms, but he didn't say anything about it. He just followed Matthew all the way to the edge of campus until they reached the circle of stones and tall pine trees. Fond memories flooded his thoughts as they entered the ring, and he stopped to watch Matthew keep walking until he was standing in the middle of the space.

Smiling just slightly, the Canadian turned and pushed his elbows out in a sort of gesture. "I haven't been here since before."

"Me eizher."

"Kinda miss it." He turned again, then moved to sit on one of the rocks, shivering as the cold easily passed through the fabric of his jeans. Silent, Gilbert joined him, and this time Matt leaned on the taller boy just slightly. "This means we can be friends again, right?"

"Ja, if zhat's okay vizh you."

It was. It was definitely okay with him. "I'd like that."

Gilbert smiled and resisted the familiar urge to wrap his arm around the blond, hold him close. The cold would make it especially nice, but he knew it wasn't his place. Not anymore. "Me, too." A sigh came out as a white puff in the frigid air. "I'm sorry, Mattie."

"Me, too."

The older of the two shook his head. "Nein, don't apologize. You didn't do anyzhing wrong. I overreacted. It vas my fault."

"I yelled at you." There was guilt in the Canadian's tone as he remembered the day in the cafeteria, how he'd lost his temper. He rarely ever raised his voice, and never to defend himself. But hearing Francis be insulted like that, after the Frenchman had been so kind to him, he hadn't been able to help it.

"Und I deserved it. I vas an ass, Mattie. Zhere's no excuse for zhat, und…I know you know about me und Ivan…I vant you to know, it didn't mean anyzhing. It vas stupid, shouldn't have happened. I messed up."

"It's not my business," Matthew tried to assure him, "you don't have to apologize for that."

"Ja, I do." Gilbert turned, looked down at him, eyes full of mixed emotions. "Because zhe reason I did it…I vas pissed, from nicotine vizhdrawal, und I missed you…I really do like you, Matzhew, but I von't interfere vizh your relationship vizh Francis. Zhat's vhy I vent drinking zhat night, vhy I let Ivan take me back to his dorm. I vas looking for a distraction. Just vish I hadn't sunk to zhat level."

Hearing it made Matthew feel guilty even though he'd had nothing to do with Gilbert's decision. Maybe if he'd gotten the nerve up to talk to him sooner, or if he hadn't yelled at him in the cafeteria, or invited him out to pizza that night, none of this would have happened. They never would have fought, would have just kept being friends. But it was too late to do anything about it, and besides, they were going to be friends again.

That thought replaced the guilt with a light-headed happiness that made the Canadian sigh as he rested his head on Gilbert's shoulder. "I'm glad we're friends again." A nod was the only response, and Matt let his gaze wander over the rocks and trees as he wondered what he should say next.

"Gil?"

"Hm?"

Hesitating, he bit his lip. "Would you have dated me? If we hadn't fought?"

It was quiet for a few moments. "Ja. I still vould."

His stomach now doing odd little flips, Matt smiled sadly. "I wanted to…I still want to, but I'm happy with Francis. He's great, and I won't hurt him for no reason. I hope you're okay with that."

"Of course. He beat me to it, und if I'm going to be upset at anyvone, it's myself. If I vasn't such a jerk, I'd have asked you out a long time ago. I'm glad you're happy vizh Francis. As much I hate to say it—and don't ever tell him I did—he's a decent boyfriend. I don't zhink he'll hurt you."

Pleased, Matt nodded, then wondered if now was a good time to ask if Gilbert was willing to be friends with Francis again. There probably wasn't much harm in bringing it up.

"I don't think he will, either. But, you know, I really would like for my best friend and my boyfriend to get along."

Gilbert rolled his eyes even as he grinned. "Ja, ja. I'll try to be nice to him, for you."

"Thanks, Gil."

Steeling his nerves, the albino glanced around to make sure there was no one watching, then placed a kiss on the top of Matthew's head. "Gern geschehen, mein kleiner Vogel," he murmured into the blond locks, eyes falling closed as he breathed in the soft scent of maple syrup mixed with the winter air.

Matthew blushed but didn't say anything. He knew Gilbert wasn't looking for a response, and he knew neither of them would tell anyone about these quiet few moments. This would be their secret.

TRANSLATIONS:

Ich vermisse dich auch.

German: I miss you, too.

Gern geschehen, mein kleiner Vogel.

German: You're welcome, my little bird.