Chapter XXI

The next day Will left but told Kelly he would be back in the evening to check on Casey. He gave Kelly his cell phone number for any kind of emergency. He also informed him that he had removed the catheter. Matthew still had the venous cannula, so that Will would be able to administer the I.V. Antibiotics, later that evening, but had removed the drip. Matt was now capable of taking care of his water intake on his own.

Kelly felt nervous as the doctor left. He wasn't used to providing something like medical care. And he felt nervous about-facing Casey in general. He did badly yesterday, even though Matt hadn't been able to participate in an actual conversation with him. Now that he was coherent and able to defend himself, Kelly knew he had to channel all his strength to not blow up if Matt would behave like this stupid idiot he was in the last couple of months.

He quietly made his way into Casey's room. His friend was lying on the bed, still sleeping. He looked pale and drops of sweat covered his face. His breathing appeared to be shallow and painful. His eyes moved rapidly under their lids and Kelly felt bad for his friend, as he watched his restless sleep.

He sighed and made his way back into the kitchen. He searched the cupboards and fridge for anything edible but couldn't find anything without a passed expiration date. He knew he had to buy some food to be able to prepare something easy to eat, for Matt.

Actually, he felt relieved to have an excuse for leaving. It wouldn't be long, and Matt still was sleeping. So, he made his way to the shop one block away. He bought some vegetables, fruits, and instant soup. He even took some Gatorade, in hopes it would re-boost Casey's electrolytes.

Confident and pleased he made his way back. He was surprised to find Matt standing in the living room. Kelly could tell his feet were unsteady and weak. It seemed he was concentrating on something. Kelly slowly put down his groceries and made his way over to Casey. He didn't want to startle him, so he cleared his throat before greeting him, "Good morning."

Matt nonetheless flinched and turned around to face Kelly, "Man, you trying to kill me? I've almost had a heart attack."

Kelly found it very amusing given the fact he actually saved his life not long ago, "Just wanted to finish the job you've started." He immediately thought that he blew it again and that Matt would start a fight because of his little joke.

But Casey just frowned shortly but then he just huffed, "Very funny."

"How're you feeling?" Severide asked him while he made his way over to the couch.

"Like someone kicked the shit out of me," Matt deadpanned.

"Then, shouldn't you be back in bed? Resting," Kelly looked at him sternly.

"Nah, I've slept enough," Matt answered. "And I have to clean this mess up at some point, don't I?" And he began to bow down to collect one of the bottles which were lying around. But his head began to spin madly, and he staggered backward.

Kelly caught him and tried to steady his body. "Hey," he looked him in the eyes, "You're with me?"

"Yeah, yeah," Matt replied, "Just a bit shaky after lying in bed for so long."

"You sure?"

Matt nodded but wasn't able to stop his body from shaking. Kelly guided him to the couch, "Here, sit down! I'm going to get you something to drink," he told him.

"Okay, I guess that would be good." Matt sat down and let his head fall back on the back-rest of the sofa.

He tried to regain orientation and focus again. He was seeing double, and his legs and arms began to tingle. He feared he would pass out, and Matt really didn't want that to happen in front of Kelly, after that fiasco he had put him through.

"Keep your head down," Kelly said as he approached him with the Gatorade in his hand.

Matt did it and it helped him. After some time, his vision turned normal, and he hadn't the feeling of fainting any minute.

He took the drink and slowly managed a few sips before his stomach protested and felt full. Both firefighters sat in silence. Matt had his eyes closed and tried to fight nausea.

Kelly looked worried at his friend as something caught his attention. The envelope on the table had been gone. Matt must have hidden it while Kelly was away. He felt good about his decision from the other day of not cleaning up and not letting Matt know that he had seen the divorce papers. He respected his buddy's wish and didn't comment on it now, either.

At the same time, Kelly felt an unbearable tension in himself. He wanted badly to address what had happened, but he knew Matt wouldn't let him and he feared he would risk a new fight with him. Instead, he tried to make light conversation, "Doc says you're able to start drinking and eating again. I've brought soup if you like any. And fruits. I guess vitamins couldn't hurt."

Matt just shook his head, "I'm not hungry at the moment. Honestly, I'm having trouble holding the Gatorade in."

"Oh, okay. No worries, we can eat later." Kelly was surprised at Matthew's honesty. He wasn't used to it at all. "Do you want me to get the bucket?"

"Nah, I'm good. I just want to sit and ride it out," Matt replied to Kelly's question.

Casey felt awful and he wondered when or if that feeling of having to puke everything out, the minute he consumed something would ever pass. He had been drunk before, and he had suffered the after effects, but this right now was suffering on a whole new level.

His body tried to destroy itself, he was positive about that one and he wouldn't mind if it wouldn't be that much unpleasant.

"Oh fuck, that's torture," he sighed.

"I bet you're regretting drinking the whole bottle," Kelly said to him.

Matt didn't retort. He felt the tension as badly as Kelly. And he didn't want to start a fight either, especially because he knew he couldn't win this time.

"You wanna lie down again? I can walk you to the bedroom."

"No. No moving for now," Matt whispered. His head hurt, and his lungs began to ache again. His stomach churned, and he feared the next upcoming coughing fit because in that case, he was sure he wouldn't be able to stop himself from starting puking again.

Suddenly a cold shiver passed thru him and his body began to tremble. Cold sweat ran down his spine and he asked Kelly to fetch him the blanket. Not long after he felt the fabric on his skin, he immediately felt an extreme heat rising up. He tried to manage a balance between being covered and being uncovered, but he couldn't find a solution. So, he stayed with the blanket wrapped around him.

"I don't know what's happening. I'm hot and cold at the same time," he let Kelly know, who observed his struggle.

"Guess that's the withdrawal Halstead has been talking about. It will pass, Matt."

"I hope so," he said with a trembling voice.

"Of course, it will," Kelly reassured him. "I'm going to make me some coffee, you want anything?"

"No, Severide. I'm really not able to hold anything in. Please don't ask me again."

"Sorry, I won't." Then Severide got up and left Matt on the sofa.

Casey decided to lie down, to get a few minutes of rest. He really wanted to clean up the mess he had caused over the last months. He felt ashamed that other people had seen his current living situation, and he needed to take care of it before more people he knew would recognize his sloppiness.

Severide took his time in the kitchen. He brewed himself some strong black coffee and prepared some clear soup for Matt, even if the other had pointed out he wouldn't eat anything. Kelly thought soup isn't something to eat anyway; it's more like water with flavor and salt.

He wanted to boil the water as he heard whimpering coming from the other room. He dropped the spoon he was holding and ran into the room next door. Casey was lying on the sofa with his eyes shut. His body was shivering badly, and his head tossed and turned from one side to the other, while his hands were gripping the blanket tight that his knuckles turned white. He mumbled something in his sleep. Kelly slowly approached him and tried to wake him up, "Hey Casey, wake up."

But Matt didn't react, so Kelly sat down at the edge of the sofa, and as he touched his friend's shoulder, he immediately felt the heat which was radiating from his body.

"Shit," he let out a sigh and reached for Casey's forehead. It felt wet and warm. Casey flinched but relaxed a bit after a few seconds. Kelley assumed that the cold of his hand must feel good, and the touch maybe was comforting as well. Nonetheless, Casey's movements started to become more violent and his breathing got heavier.

"Hey Matt, wake up buddy. You're having a nightmare. It's okay. You're okay." Severide tried to soothe his troubled friend.

But Matt was wrapped up in his bad dream and the fever made it almost impossible for him to reach lucidity. It was one of the nightmares that plagued him occasionally.

This time he dreamt about Gabby and Louie. In this one, they got shot by Darrell who seemed to be a Zombie himself. Matt wanted to throw his own body in the line of fire but was held by his mother, who wore an orange onesie. Zombie-Darrell than tried to run away and jail-mum offered Matt a gun and said, "Do it, son! You have to kill him." Matt took the gun and looked at it fascinated. It was a really nice and old one, like a revolver from some western-flick. He checked the chamber; one bullet was missing. Matt thought it was weird. Where was the last one? Then he felt pain in his abdomen. He looked down, and blood spread slowly over his grey shirt. He ripped it off of his body and threw it on the ground. He searched his abdomen and found a hole right under his sternum. An unbearable pain shot thru his bones and he wanted to scream from the top of his lungs, but he wasn't able to do so. Suddenly he heard Andy's voice, "Hey Candidate! What took you so long?" He turned around and his eyes caught the T-shirt lying on the ground. On its back in bold letters CANDIDATE. Andy approached him, and Casey finally could breathe and felt something similar to relief and he managed a small smile. But Andy wasn't as happy to see him, "Hey Candidate Casey, took you long enough to join me on this side. I hope you had fun playing father to my boys!" He began to shove him, "Can't have one of your own, can you? Must pretend to be super-dad for my children, while I'm rotting here." Casey felt sick. He wanted to reply and explain the situation, but his mouth was sewed up.

Kelly didn't know what to do. Matt wasn't waking up, and he seemed to be in a lot of pain, given his heavy breathing and his tensed posture. At some point, he almost cried out, while curling in on himself and wrapping his arms around his middle.

"Matt! Come on," he pleaded. "You have to wake up." Kelly shook him again. But Matt simply tried to fight him off while tears began to roll down his cheeks.

"Oh God Casey. I'm here. Can you hear me? Come on. Please open your eyes."

Kelly took both of Matt's hands and held them tight so that he couldn't flail around. "Shhhh," Severide tried to soothe once more. "It's all gonna be okay Matt."

Finally, Casey slowed down and stopped fidgeting. His body was still being tense and his eyes rapidly moving underneath his lids, but Matt started to come out of his nightmare, Kelly could tell.

"Good, that's better," Kelly said in a low, soothing voice. "You're safe. Casey, I'm here. Nothing's going to happen. I swear."

Matt whimpered, and Kelly could feel his trembling hands in his. He placed them on Matt's stomach and reached for his face. He took one end of the blanket to dry Casey's forehead and cheeks off from sweat and tears.

"Oh, Matt. I'm so sorry you have to go thru all of this," Kelly was terrified by what he had witnessed. Matt's struggle through that nightmare would always stay in his memory. He never would be able to forget the terror his friend's body posture showed during this few minutes.

He was overwhelmed with his own angst and worry over Matt, that he reached out his arm again, and awkwardly patted his friend's blonde, sweaty hair as an attempt to offer comfort.

At that moment Casey opened his eyes. He looked at Severide and in an instant withdrew himself. He pressed his upper body against the back cushion and looked shocked, similar to a deer caught in the headlight.

Severide as well was startled and withdrew. Both men now looked at each other horrified.