Throwback
The next morning, the tension was still there. Kakashi was unusual silent and Sasuke couldn´t help but felt that he was still angered about the former days event. It made him feel uncomfortable, especial when he didn´t even ate breakfast together with him. For the first time, since he knew his guardian, the man was acting strange. Very strange. And he was not sure whether the incident from yesterday was the only reason for it.
"Eat breakfast and than come to the living room. I´ve some important things to discuss with you." Kakashi told him, when he woke him up. With that said, the man had vanished in his own bedroom and the little Uchiha was confused about this behaviour.
After a short shower and getting dressed, he went to the kitchen, where breakfast was served on the table. He hadn´t much appetite and so he just poked with his chopsticks through his rice.
It bothered him more as he would admit aloud, that the silver haired seemed to be still quite angry at him. There, he never thought that Kakashi was someone who holds grudge for long. But apparently he was wrong about it. He never saw him so shirty before.
Sasuke knew he and his friends messed up terrible. Looking for those Kumo guys had been a big mistake and he still quivered when he thought about yesterday. They were really lucky, they came out of it unharmed. Understandable Kakashi was upset. But he was sorry and he already told him so. What else could he do?
Maybe he should apologize properly again, so that he would believe him that he was truly sorry and that he would never do such a thing. This was probably what Kakashi wanted to hear, wasn´it? And in the end, he already told him yesterday how worried he was. Worry was a sign that he cared and the raven haired boy had every reason to feel sorry for putting Kakashi through this.
Sighing, he placed the chopsticks down and stood up. He should go and see what the Jonin wanted to talk about, even if he felt slightly nervous when he approached the living room.
He entered quitly but was sure that he was noticed nevertheless. Kakashi sat on the couch, arms crossed and his eye closed. He wasn´t wearing his mask and so he looked as if he was thinking. In which he could still be angry, Sasuke couldn´t tell that for sure.
"Come sit down." The older male ordered calmy.
"Are you still mad about yesterday?" Sasuke said without moving.
"Come here, I want to talk about some things."
"If it´s about yesterday, I´m really sorry. I won´t do something like that again." He blurted out and his voice sounded almost a bit desperate.
The silver haired looked at him directly with his one visible eye. Although the mask wasn´t covering his face, he still covered his left eye with a black headband. Sasuke once asked him why, and he told him that his eye got hurt during a mission. Of course he believed him, since a long scar covered a part of the left side of his face.
"It´s not only about yesterday but something else I need to talk to you about." Kakashi said calmy. "And I´m not angry at you but I was worried. That´s a difference. Come sit down."
Reluctantly, Sasuke sat down next to Kakashi, in which he took care not to sit too close to the adult. Somehow, he couldn´t believe him that he wasn´t angry anymore.
"You´re acting strange..." He blurted out. "I´m sure, you´re still mad at me."
Kakashi smiled at him, but it was a tired smile and somehow he had the feeling that the Jonin was really concerned about something.
"I just hope you´ve learned your lesson. This stunt was really uncalled for. Everything could´ve happen to you. You should realize that. And this shouldn´t have happen in the first place."
Was Kakashi really lecturing him again?
"I said I´m sorry!"
"You should be sorry."
"I´m sorry!" Sasuke said, his voice raising a bit. How long was Kakashi planning on letting him suffer under his own guilt?
"Okay, that´s all I want to hear from you." The silver haired reached out and ruffled his dark hair. "There is something I want to tell you..."
"Has it something to do about yesterday too?" He asked, feeling reliieved that the Jonin´s anger apparently wasn´t as big as he asumed first and hoped that they could leave this incident finally behind.
"Partly..." Kakashi let out an deep sigh, and Sasuke wondered what was making feel his guardian so uncomfortable. "I should´ve told you this already but I never knew how I can explain this to you... But after what happened yesterday, I can´t withhold it any longer."
"What do you mean?" Now, the Uchiha was really confused.
"Just promise me to listen until I´m finished. Than you can ask me what you want."
"I promise. But I don´t understand..."
"You once asked me about my left eye, remember?" Kakashi looked at him and when Sasuke nodded, he continued. "I told you about those mission where it got hurt but this was just the half truth..."
"I don´t know why you bring this up all of the sudden..."
"You promised you´ll listen until the end."
"Sorry." The boy bit his lower lip and gave the man a sign to continue.
"It´s alright." The adult smiled before his gaze wandered to the ceiling. "It´s the truth that my eye got hurt on these mission but I wasn´t there alone. My teammates were with me. Obito and Rin..."
The little Uchiha listened attentively. Sure, it was always intersting to listen to such mission stories, but somehow he had no idea why Kakashi came up with it all of the sudden. He had told him many times exciting shinobi stories, which Sasuke didn´t knew if they were true or not, but never before his guardian had looked so serious and thoughtful. But since he had agreed to listen until the end, he said nothing.
"It was during the last war. Your learned about it in the academy, right?"
The boy nodded. The last war ended one year before he was born. His mother had used to say, he was a gift for the clan, because he was the first child born after all those terrible war years. At that time he could not imagine what war means, after the death of his family, he had at least an idea about it.
"Anyway, we were sent to this mission and my teammate Rin got kidnapped by the enemy... Obito wanted to save her no matter what and I eventually agreed. This is where I got these injury on my eye."
The silver haired was quit for a moment and Sasuke got more and more the feeling that Kakashi in reality not wanted to talk about it. The question was just why he did it then. Although only eight years old, Sasuke could understand very well that there were things a person could or would not talk about and he accepted it. There was no reason why Kakashi should force himself to tell him something he didn´t want to.
"What happened then?" He eventually asked, when the other male remained silent.
"We manged to free Rin but there were too many enemies and we couldn´t escape on time. We were surrounded by them. Obito sacrificed himself in order to save us... He entrusted his last wish to me and gave me a precious gift..."
"A precious gift?"
Kakashi nodded and for some reason avoided to look directly at. "His full name was Obito Uchiha..."
A gasp escaped his mouth and looked at the older man with wide eyes. "He was an Uchiha? But I don´t know anyone with this name and what do you mean he gave you a gift?"
"He died during the third shinobi war. You weren´t even born at that time..."
This explained a lot. His clan had been quite big and Sasuke had known only his closest relatives personally.
"His gift is the reason why I didn´t mentioned him earlier. I was afraid of your reaction..."
Suddenly, he felt an uneasy feeling in his stomach, when Kakashi continued to speak. He wasn´t referring to what he thought he was, was he?
Instead of saying more, the silver haired grabbed the back of his headband and pulled it up. Sasuke´s blood froze when he looked into the familiar red of his clan´s dojutsu.
"Sharingan..." He mumbled, but was like paralyzed by looking in that eye. So many emotions came up now. He saw everything clearly. His parents, uncles, aunts and cousins. Even their murder appeared with clarity before his eyes. While his brain was trying to process what Kakashi had just said, his eyes were fixed on the lone sharingan.
Alone the sight let him feel so many different emotions. The memories of his family, the fear and desperation of that night. He always dreamed about red eyes, but these dreams were nightmares. The sharingan was the heritage of his family, the pride of his clan, but since the massacre he always saw this murder before his eyes.
"Sasuke..." A gentle hand touched his shoulder and woke up from his shock, directly looking into Kakashi´s sympathetic face. The headband covered his eye again, but Sasuke could never forget the view of his family´s doujutsu.
"I know this is a shock for you but I hope you can understand it and my reasons for not telling you sooner."
"I... I don´t understand..." Sasuke said because he needed to say something.
"Do you understand what I told you? About my teammate?"
Suddenly, he remembered the story Kakashi told him just minutes ago. And the realization why he owned a sharingan, although he wasn´t an Uchiha, hit him. He understood that it wasn´t Kakashi´s fault for having this eye and accepting his friends last wish, but somehow the fact that the man had a sharingan transplanted let him feel uncomfortable
"Why didn´t you told me sooner?" The boy demanded, because there was nothing he could ask instead.
"Because I was somewhat afraid of your reaction. I know how important the sharingan for your clan is and many Uchihas used to resent me for having it."
"My parents too?" He asked lowly, feeling a sting in his heart.
"I´ve never interacted with them personally." The silver haired said calmy, not telling Sasuke that he had indeed interacted with his father some times. Since Fugaku Uchiha had been the clan head, Kakashi was forced to justify himself before him. But those endless ugly meetings weren´t the right thing for this eight years old boy to hear.
"I wonder what they thought about it..."
"Does it matter this much for you?"
"Of course it does!" The boy replied angrily. "The sharingan is my family´s kekkei genkkei! You should have told me sooner about it!"
"Would it made a difference?" The older males voice sounded alomst sad. "When I decided to take you under my care, it was my main concern to earn your trust. I just wanted to make you feel better. I was afraid that the sharingan would remind you too much on your family and even afraid that you could mistust me."
Sasuke nodded hesitantly. While he could understand Kakashi´s reasons for doing so, it was still a shock. But of course he didn´t believe that his guardian withholded it out of malignity, probably more because he wanted to protect him. He was a smart child, bright enough to understand it, even if he still wished to know about his parent´s opinion.
"It made no difference. At least not regarding our relationship. But I don´t understand why you tell me yet... Since you wanted to keep it a secret all the time..."
"It shouldn´t stay a secret forever Sasuke. It should be the right time, when you´re ready to learn about it. It was never my intention to lie about it."
"But why do you think I´m ready yet?"
"Because of yesterdays events."
His little body immediately tensed. How much he wished to forget all this and now Kakashi brought it up again. But what had it to do with Kakashi´s hidden sharingan? He looked confused at the older man and obviously he understood Sasuke´s unspoken questions.
"Apparently, you awoke your sharingan yesterday."
For a brief moment, Sasuke wasn´t sure whether he heard wrong. Was Kakashi really saying he awoke his own sharingan? But when, how and where? He didn´t noticed anything and awaking the greatest doujutsu of the world should definitely be something you need to remember.
"But..."
Noting the child´s confusion, the jonin began to explain about the woman from Kumo and the difficult genjutsu she had been placed under. A genjutsu, so strong that the only possible explanation was, that a sharingan user was responsible for it. And Sasuke was the only one capable of possesing the Sharingan anymore. It worried Kakashi, especial since the council showed quite much interest in those fact, but as much as he wished to shield the boy for a while longer, he needed to discuss the issue with him.
"Does it mean I´ve my sharingan yet? But how can I activate it?" The raven haired Uchiha babbled, excitement clearly present in his voice.
"I think it appeared just out of shock yesterday and won´t manifest yet. You´re too young to master the sharingan" Kakashi said objectively.
"I´m not!" Sasuke protested, voice raising angrily. How could Kakashi say he was too young to master the sharingan, when the person who slaughtered his whole clan, was hardly older when mastering his own. "If my Sharingan appeared yesterday, I´m more than capable to master it. And I want to master it now!"
"Don´t be unreasonable. The sharingan isn´t some minor jutsu you can learn. It´s a kekkei genkkei which needs years of practice in order to gain control over it. I´ve never heard of an Uchiha who mastered the sharingan during his infancy." The adult explained, while hoping the boy would see reason.
"Of course there is someone who mastered the sharingan when in my age!" He jumped to his feet and yelled loudly, while angry tears appeared in his eyes. Sasuke couldn´t understand himself why he reacted so short tempered , but maybe the sight of Kakashi´s sharingan had really aroused him. "How can you say I can´t master it when this murder could it?! If he was able of doing it, I should it above all!"
"Sasuke..."
"NO!" He yelled back. "First you lied to me about your eye and now you tell me that I can´t master my sharingan although I awoke it! You´re just lying and make things worse!"
"Sasuke!"
"Why could he control the sharingan when in my age! Why could he do everything at my age?!" He didn´t cared that tears were streaming down his face now. He didn´t even knew why he was yelling and crying at the same time and from where came this outburst. But he couldn´t stop it.
"Calm down." Kakashi ordered firmly and placed his hand on Sasuke´s shoulder, but the boy stepped back.
"NO! He could do anything! And you tell me I can master it when I´m older, but why could he do it? When older he could kill our family, our parents? Why was he powerful enough to do it?!"
The Jonin stood up, stepping near to the boy. It was months now since Sasuke had the last time a outburst like that, but what worried more was the fact that anger was obviously more present than grief. He just knew the griefing side of Sasuke, this sudden anger was new and let him realize how wounded the child still was. Even after all the progress he made, every single connection with his dead clan let him break down.
"Sasuke listen to me." The man said and grabbed him firmly by the shoulders. "Don´t compare yourself ever again with that person. Do you understand me?"
But the Uchiha just shook his head and pulled himself free from Kakashi´s grip. "Then why was he strong enough to do all of this?! And why couldn´t I do anything to prevnt it? Everyone is dead and they won´t come back! Only because he can do anything what I can´t!"
"Nothing of what happened is your fault Sasuke!"
"It is! They are dead and won´t come back! Why did he do it?! I don´t understand it!" Sasuke was yelling and crying and the sight was heartbreaking. But for the first time Kakashi noticed something what hadn´t been there before; hate. And this hate was clearly seen into the boy´s eyes.
If he had known how the boy would react, he would have never told him about his sharingan. It had been a gift of his teammate and nothing to do with the Uchiha clan massacre, but for Sasuke it had been a too painful reminder. And it let Kakashi feel helpless.
"I´ll kill him!" Sasuke suddenly yelled and his expression was a mask of pain and hate. A expression which let the boy look years older. "You´ll see, I´ll kill him and let him pay for everything!"
"Sasuke calm down, please..." The adult tried again, this time feeling more helpless as he ever had before. "Let me help you please..."
But the child stepped back again. "I don´t want your help! I want my parents but they´re dead and they won´t come back!"
No they won´t, Kakashi thought sadly, while he heart ached painfully. Seeing Sasuke in this state let him suffer with him. He never expected that outburst, it got him completely off guard. It was a mistake from his side to asume Sasuke was better now. The massacre happened not even a year ago, was it a wonder this child was still traumatized? But this sudden anger and hate worried him. This thoughts weren´t healthy for such a young child, it couldn´t be healthy.
In his desperation, the Jonin tried to grab Sasuke, but he avoided his arms and stepped only more back.
"Please let me help you. Let´s talks Sasuke..."
Sasuke wasn´t even listening. The sudden rage came to it´s high point when he yelled with all his strength and stormed out of the room.
Kakashi stayed behind. Baffled and completely helpless for the first time.
I don´t need you or anyone else! I hate you all! The child had yelled. Only now he realized that Sasuke had left their apartment. The worry what could happen to the child in this state was present, but for some reason he couldn´t move himself from the spot.
Thanks to Pixie07 for the great review :D
To this chapter, I know Sasuke´s outburst came a bit unexpected but it´s the time now for him to realize that Itachi is still alive and he slowly begins to think about justice. Also seeing Kakashi´s sharingan and being confronted with it let all these dark emotions came up and they will be some more serious chapters follow after this.
Like always, let me know what you think and review ;)