A/N: So this chapter was a little different from my usual style I think...at least the content anyways. I tried to use a bit more imagery (something I find really hard to do) so I'm not sure if I hit the mark or not, if it needs more or less. Any feedback would be very welcome.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed and favourited this story. Your support is truly wonderful!

Disclaimer: Oh how I wish I owned Castle. Even to be just a small part in the creative genius behind it would be an honour. Alas, I will simply continue to dream...

Everything was fuzzy. Why is everything so fuzzy? Kate shook her head to clear the cobwebs but it didn't help. Her eyes just wouldn't focus. What the hell is going on? Images flashed before her like a slideshow on high speed and she couldn't see any picture long enough to fully grasp what it was. God, if it would just slow down...slow down...slow down... She needed to slow down. Kate took in a deep breath and held it for a moment to let her lungs really expand and her heart to calm its erratic pace. She breathed out slowly, deliberately, and closed her eyes to steady herself.

When she finally released her breath and opened her eyes, the image before her was confusing. A small child, maybe four years old, with long blond hair ran before her through the woods. Kate ran after her, struggling to keep up. Where was she going?

"Wait!" Kate called out, but her voice was just a whisper. She cleared her throat and tried again, putting more force into it. "Wait! Where are you going?" Her voice remained barely audible.

She crested the hill and looked around, but the girl was gone. She looked frantically, turning in a circle, but she was alone. It was strange to be alone. It was quiet. Too quiet. Eerily quiet. Not like the quiet you get as you snuggle into bed late at night, the white noise of the city in the background quietly drowning out the thoughts in your head. This was total and complete silence, like someone had literally turned the volume down on life. There were no birds, no rustling of leaves, no animals scampering across the forest floor.

A sudden crack sounded in the distance, all of the noises returning with it, the mute button turned off. Gunshot?

Kate started moving slowly in the direction of the sound, reaching behind her for the gun that was usually strapped to her belt. She stopped walking realizing that her trusty glock wasn't there. Where the hell is my gun?

A scream drew her attention and this time she ran at full speed towards the sound. Up ahead, finally, she saw the girl standing over a body. When she arrived, she took the girl by the shoulders and turned her around. "Paige?" she gasped in surprise. "Paige, what are you doing here?"

The girl made no motion to speak, instead looking over her shoulder at the body that lay behind her, tears streaking down her face. Kate moved her away, put herself between Paige and the corpse to block the image from the child's view.

"My mother," Paige had finally whispered.

Kate moved forward to check on the woman that lay sprawled on her back on the ground. She looked down with horror at the eyes that stared back at her coolly, void of life. Kate's breath caught in her throat as she finally grasped what she was seeing. But it wasn't Paige's mother she saw.

No, it can't be. What's happening? Kate's mother lay on the ground in front of her, as she had in the alley over four years ago. Johanna Beckett's brown eyes stared up at her, haunting her.

"Paige, how did you...? Paige?" Kate turned to discover that Paige was no longer standing behind her. Her eyes finally locked on the little girl running away again, back up the hill Kate had just come down. "Paige, wait!" Kate took off running after her. Again, she crested the hill to find no sign of anyone else around. "Paige? Paige where are you? Paige?" She called out frantically over and over. What the hell was going on?

She turned in a circle, looking for any sign of the child, turning...turning...turning...she couldn't stop, couldn't slow down. She was spinning wildly out of control. She needed an anchor, something to hold on to, something to steady her.

"Kate." The world stopped spinning as quickly as it had started. Castle stood now in front of her. "Kate," he said again.

"Paige...where's...?" She tried to turn away, to keep searching the trees for a sign, a glimpse of the girl who had run terrified into the woods.

"Kate." Rick grabbed her arm and squeezed lightly.

"Paige," she replied, her voice more insistent.

"Kate...Kate..." Rick was shaking her gently, but things were getting fuzzy again. She blinked forcefully trying to clear her vision, but once more she could not. The sun was shining brightly through the trees casting a white haze on everything she looked at. It was getting brighter and brighter, and he was fading...she couldn't stay locked on his image...he was fading...

"Castle, don't go..." she tried calling to him but he faded further and further from her vision until he was gone. She brought her hands up to her eyes to try to stop the blinding light that was now burning through her closed lids. "Castle...Castle..."

"Castle!" She bolted forward, sitting straight up in her chair, gasping for breath and grabbed hold of the first thing she could. Her arms wrapped tightly around Castle's broad shoulders and she buried her head against him.

"Whoa, Kate. Kate, are you okay? It's okay you were dreaming. You were only dreaming. You're okay now, I've got you. I've got you." He moved his hands around to rub her back gently, trying to rouse her from the dream. He squeezed her tight, giving her the tether she needed to come back to reality.

Finally, with some effort, she tried to look around but the sun was burning brightly in the sky, blinding her, making her eyes water. She brought her hands up to her face as she had in her dream, only this time it blocked the light from her eyes. Her dream. She was dreaming. But it was so real.

"Kate? Kate are you okay? I didn't mean to startle you but you were calling out in your sleep. Kate, you were sleeping. Why were you sleeping out here?" He still gripped her tightly but his tone was soothing and gentle.

Kate blinked her eyes open behind her hands and tried to regain her equilibrium. She felt the warmth of his strong arms around her, like a blanket wrapped tightly to cut the chill.

Breathe, just breathe. She focused on slowing down her racing heart by drawing in long deep breaths. Keep breathing.

"Kate, seriously are you okay? What's going on? What are you doing out here?" Finally, Castle's words registered in her brain. He was here with her. He hadn't vanished. He was holding her tight, bringing her back, anchoring her.

Looking her eyes around frantically she tried to figure out what was going on, where she was. She blinked several times and wiped the tears from her eyes that had started to fall. Glancing down, she saw that the fire had reduced itself to mere embers. She was outside at the fire pit. Why am I outside? What time is it?

Her mind scrolled furiously through the events of the evening before. Sitting by the fire with Castle, seeing Don return from town and heading off to bed, she checked off her movements one at a time trying to find the missing piece.

To bed. She had gone to bed while Castle had put out the fire. She had laid there for hours, her mind whirling with thoughts of the search for Paige's father, questions about how much Paige knew about her parents, images of Paige's mother lying on the ground at the crime scene, blood pooling around her body where she had been stabbed.

Paige's mother. That was it. When Kate had locked on the idea that Paige would never see her mother again, it had reminded her of her own life. She couldn't shake the images of her mother lying on the ground in a pool of her own blood from a knife wound.

Feeling stifled by the confines of her room, Kate had sought fresh air. She also wanted to keep a closer eye on Paige, even though there was no indication that she was in any danger. But it made Kate feel like she had some control, could do something. Kate remembered walking over to Paige's tent and silently poking her head inside. She watched Paige sleeping, so peaceful. It reminded her of the way she had felt before her mother had died. The calm before the storm, the stability before her world started spinning out of control around her.

After a several moments, the tears rolling down her cheeks, Kate had walked back to the fire pit and relit the fire hoping it would cut through the chill of the fresh spring night. She had sat in the same chair as earlier that evening and watched the dance of the flames as they reached out into the night sky. She stared at the stars wondering if her mother was looking down on her from heaven, wondering what her mother would think of her life. Would she be proud? Would she be disappointed?

For hours she just sat there, adding logs to the fire as needed to keep it burning, until eventually, she fell into an uneasy sleep. She had fits of wakefulness and a vague recollection of images, unrecognizable in her daze, until finally, her mind had settled into the dream that she had just woken from.

"Kate?" Castle's voice so soft, so full of concern, finally brought her back to the present. The pieces now in place, she was able to lift her head from his shoulder to stare into his eyes.

Kate saw from him a mix of emotions that jumbled in with her own. But most of all, she saw fear. Not of her, but for her. Castle was afraid of the fierceness with which she had gripped him upon coming out of her nightmare. She could see that he was anxious about her state of mind, having no idea what she was doing outside so early in the morning and why she was so upset.

Castle remembered seeing sadness in Kate's eyes the first moment he had met her and now he was seeing the full force of her despair. Something tragic had impacted her life and her nightmare seemed to have brought up her clearly unresolved feelings about it. He wanted to ask her a thousand questions but really he didn't even know where to begin.

"Kate," he said again putting his hands on her face, brushing the hair out of her eyes, willing her to be okay. "Talk to me."

She looked at him, tilting her head slightly. He wasn't asking her any questions, wasn't trying to unravel the mystery. He was just there to listen, to whatever she wanted to share. His tone of voice and the look on his face instilled in her an overwhelming sense of trust, but she didn't know how much she could share. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell him everything. If there wasn't an investigation, if she wasn't a cop, if they weren't on his daughter's class camping trip, she knew she could tell him everything. But there was an investigation, she was a cop and they were on the trip. She knew that she couldn't brush it off flippantly as just a random nightmare, her reaction on waking was too highly charged. She had to share something, she wanted to share something, but she didn't know where to start.

"What time is it?" she asked simply, stalling for more time.

"It's just before six."

Kate's eyes squinted imperceptibly as questions now filled her mind about him. "Why are you awake so early?"

"I'm not sure really. I just woke up. I thought maybe I would go for a walk, see if I could find our spot and see what it looks like in the daylight. The kids won't be up for a couple more hours so I thought I would just...enjoy the quiet of the morning." He tried to smile, lighten the mood a touch, but the look didn't quite reach his eyes. He was concerned about her and she could tell that he just wanted to help her.

"Do you still want to go?"

"What? No, I...I want to be here."

"I mean...we could go...for a walk," when he looked at her the tenderness he displayed touched her deeply so she added, "we could talk."

A small wave of relief touched his features and he nodded with a light smile. He took both her hands and pulled her up to stand before him. Before she could turn to start walking, he put his arms around her back, his right hand cupping the back of her head and pulling her to him in a gentle embrace. "It's going to be okay Kate. Whatever it is, I'm here, it's going to be okay." Kate felt herself melting into his arms, her face pressed firmly against his chest. She at once felt small in his arms but also strengthened by his words. For the first time in a long time, she actually felt a small glimmer of hope that maybe he was right, that maybe it was going to be okay.

After walking in silence hand in hand they finally emerged through the trees into the clearing, high above the valley. The vision was as breathtaking in the light of day as it had been in the stillness of the dark night. The bright sun lit up the leaves on the trees and reflected off the river like diamonds. They found seats as they had two nights before and leaned up against the large smooth boulders.

Rick finally turned to look at Kate as she stared straight out over the valley lost in thought. He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, lightly brushing a kiss across her knuckles. Kate melted into his eyes, like pools of deep cool water, and began.

"Four years ago, my mom died," Kate's voice faltered slightly as she tried to put into words the myriad of thoughts running through her mind. It wasn't that she hadn't ever told anyone the story, but this time was different. Castle was different.

"We were supposed to meet for dinner. My dad and I waited for her at the restaurant. We thought she had lost track of time at work." Kate looked up at Rick and smiled, "She was a brilliant civil rights attorney and her clients became like family to her, so she worked tirelessly on their behalf."

"She wanted to get them justice," Castle offered, understanding.

"Yes," Kate was nodding, "yes that's right. She was very good at her job and it meant a lot to her to be able to help others who needed it. She was always working late, so my dad and I didn't think much of it when she didn't show up to meet us. When we arrived at home a police officer was waiting for us. She was in Washington Heights, working on a case, when she was stabbed. They said it was gang violence, but..." her voice trailed off as tears welled in her eyes.

"But you don't believe that?" Rick asked the same question that so many others had before, but it was different. He wasn't asking in disbelief, or shock, or doubt. He was merely confirming what she had not yet voiced. She nodded, wiping a tear with the back of her hand.

Kate took a deep breath to steady herself before continuing, "I couldn't sleep. Tonight, when I went to my room, I couldn't sleep. My mind started racing, my heart started racing, so I went outside to get some fresh air. I relit the fire and I guess after a while I fell asleep."

"And your nightmare? You were dreaming about your mom?" he asked gently.

She looked up at him again, hesitating. She didn't want to lie to him but she also knew that it wouldn't be right to tell him about Paige. "I saw her lying on the ground in the forest. Her eyes staring up at me, blood on the leaves around her. I started to spin, literally, I was turning and turning, out of control...until something stopped me."

When she didn't immediately continue, he prodded, "What stopped you Kate?"

Staring deep into his eyes, she searched for an answer to the question that had been creeping up on her as she told her story. What if she just told him everything? Finally, she resolved to be as honest as she could with him. "You did. You stopped me from spinning."

He turned his body so he could face her more fully, his shoulder now pressing against the cold hard stone of the boulder, his mouth agape at the sincerity and the meaning of her confession.

Before he could speak, she pushed on, knowing if she hesitated she would never admit what she was about to. She never thought she would ever tell anyone this, but here in this moment, she wanted him to know. "You saved me in my dream. You stopped me from spinning out of control. Just like you did before."

Castle looked at her now in confusion. Before? Did we meet before this? Castle wracked his brain trying to remember, but nothing sprang to mind.

"Three and a half years ago," she continued, "you published 'Kissed and Killed' and I read it. When I probably should have been reading self-help books about grieving, I read your book instead and it stopped me from spinning. Your words allowed me to enter a world where I didn't have to think about anything real, because sometimes it was just too hard to think about. I went back to the bookstore and bought all your other books. I read them all and they grounded me. They helped me to find a way out of the nightmare that had become my life." Looking up at him she realized how heavy an admission this had been. He stared at her with a look on his face that she couldn't read.

Realizing that she was done, he turned and looked out over the valley, trying to organize all of the thoughts running through his head. He finally looked back at her, his eyes moist with emotion. "Kate, I am truly humbled. I never thought my work could have such an impact on anyone. Thank you for telling me all of this. I know it must have been hard, but I am really honored that you felt you could trust me enough to tell me about your mom. I wish I had known you back then. I wish I could have been there to comfort you."

"Oh but you did Castle. Your words comforted me. And, you actually were there," she paused looking up, a glint in her eyes. When he looked questioningly back at her she continued, "I went to a book signing. After you published your first Derrick Storm novel. I stood in line for over an hour to meet you."

"You did?"

"Yes, but when I got to the front of the line, I got tongue-tied. I wanted to tell you how much your books had meant to me, but I just couldn't get the words out. But you signed my book and it made my day."

"I wish I remembered," he said simply, truly wishing he had noticed her then.

"You must have seen hundreds of people that day, Castle, there's no way you would remember me. But you did write more than just your name."

"I did? What did I say?" A playfulness filled his tone that was infectious and Kate smiled at him.

"You wrote 'To Kate, the beauty of your smile shines brightly as a beacon of light and hope.'" Castle's face fell, his mouth opening in disbelief.

"I wrote that?" he asked in a whisper.

"Yes, but you probably wrote that to a hundred other girls. But it still made me feel special, that you took the time to write more than just your name. It really meant something to me. I was just starting my training at the police academy and it made me feel like I had made the right decision, like I was going to be able to give hope to people as I protected them."

Castle continued to stare at Kate, unable to convey his thoughts. "I wrote that?" he asked again.

"Yes. Castle, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" Kate was growing concerned by the look on his face.

"Kate, I didn't write that for a hundred other girls," he said quietly.

"What do you mean? How can you remember that?"

"Kate, I do remember that. I remember because I only ever wrote that once. A young woman put my book in front of me and as I looked up to ask her name, I was overcome by the look in her eyes. There was such passion and sorrow, but a strength like I had never seen before. I remember because I looked up and saw her smile, saw her hope, and it washed over me like a wave. Kate I remember. I remember you."

Kate looked at him in shocked disbelief. "No, you must have written that many times. You can't remember..."

"I do remember. But you look different now. The woman I saw was thinner, her hair was different, it was..."

"Short," they both said together, and Kate's breath caught in her throat. How was this possible? How was this happening?

Rick too was overwhelmed with the memories flooding back to him of that day. He didn't remember where he was, the hundreds of book signings all flowing together now, and he didn't remember when it was, but he did remember her eyes. Looking down now into those same eyes, he was overcome by the feeling that it was fate that had allowed them to meet that day, and fate that had brought them here together again. He had often wondered about the woman he met that day, what her story was, where she had come from, where she had gone, and now, finally he knew. He knew her story, he was a part of her story, and she a part of his.

They sat in silence, staring into each other's eyes, entranced by the power of the revelations they had uncovered. It was unbelievable and yet, at the same time, seemed completely sensible. It was overwhelming yet uncomplicated, extraordinary yet natural. They both had gained new insight into each other and they were captivated by their deepening connection. But there was nothing contrived or cliché about what was happening between them. It was simple, and sweet, and they were undaunted by the immensity of it.

Finally, Rick glanced down at his watch and noticed the time. "We should probably go. The kids will be getting up soon and we have a long day ahead of us." As he stood, he reached down to take her hand. He pulled her up and they stood again, intently looking into each other's eyes. "Kate, I know I said this already but thank you for telling me about your mom. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this."

"Thanks Castle. I'm glad I told you too. I still kind of can't believe that you remember me from your book signing though."

"I do Kate, I do remember you. I don't think I could ever forget you. I'm not sure I can really express exactly how you impacted me that day, but you did." Castle bent his head down and placed a light kiss on her lips. She responded to his touch, gently caressing his cheek with her finger tips. After a brief moment they pulled apart and joined hands to walk together, back through the trees.