Ch. 21:
"Judy Hopps."
The rabbit almost didn't recognize the suave voice, closing her locker she nearly had a heart attack when she saw Nick leaning against the lockers with a devilish grin that immediately put her on edge. "The morning light is doing wonders to that velvety fur of yours."
Judy scowled, remembering their fight and how he had called her backwoods, they hadn't spoken since and she was sure Nick wasn't ready to forgive her. Nick had nearly scared the life out of her when she was hanging out with her brother, humiliated her for ending things with said brother, and she was positive he wasn't done making her suffer for bringing up his father
"Pretty good for a rough country rabbit," she said, not trying to hide the sharpness of her voice.
Nick chuckled uncomfortably, "Yeah, listen Carrots… I think we got off on the wrong foot."
"That's definitely one way to put it," she replied bitingly before turning on her heel and heading down the hall. Nick followed after.
"Well I say life's too short to hold onto grudges," he declared, keeping an easy pace with her. "How about we start over?"
"I don't hold grudges," Judy said maturely, "You do."
Nick shrugged helplessly, "I'm a little spitfire. But seriously, how about we reintroduce ourselves?"
Judy stopped in her tracks and glared up at him suspiciously, "Why?"
Nick flashed a charming smile that made Judy's heart flutter but it also made her want to smack him. "I happen to like what I'm seeing."
She scoffed and rolled her eyes, "There's a slim chance that might and that's a big might, have worked on me when we first met but now…what do you want?"
"I want us to start over," he repeated, offering his paw, "Hi, I'm Nick Wilde."
The rabbit didn't take his paw, instead she stepped back, giving him a weird look. "Okay, Nick, I don't know what scheme you're trying to pull here but you're starting to creep me out… So I'm leaving now."
.
"Gee," Finnick said after Nick had reported his failure. "It's almost like this was a bad idea."
"I don't need your sarcasm right now," Nick said, his fingers laced together under his chin. "I'm thinking."
The two sat in the back of their class, the teacher droning on about a rhombus or whatever while Nick's mind was racing about other things. Clearly the 'Let's Start Over' approach wasn't going to work with Judy. That's fine, he had other ideas, he may not be one for commitment, but he had left many a female swooning and Carrots would be no different.
"Maybe you should ask Sven for advice?" Finnick asked. Nick glanced over at the reindeer who had his head buried in his arms, apparently his ignoring Charlie plan was not going over well.
Nick sent his friend an incredulous look, "That reindeer suffers rejection every day."
"Exactly," Finnick replied. "You need the practice."
Nick sarcastically chuckled, "You're hilarious… But it wouldn't hurt to have a partner on this little mission, maybe my charm will rub off on the poor guy."
"Mr. Wilde," the teacher (who was a hare) suddenly spoke up. "Can you please wait until after class to discuss your adventurous social life?"
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"Hey, Sven," Nick called out, following the reindeer as he left class. The taller mammal looked surprised to have the fox speaking to him; they hardly had ever conversed before.
"Hey, Nick."
"Out of curiosity, what kind of methods have you used to woo fair Charlotte's heart?"
The reindeer's brow furrowed, "Methods?"
Nick smirked, "Thought as much." He patted the deer's arm, "Worry not my friend, I am currently on my own quest to sweep a girl off her feet so I figured I'd share my wisdom with you."
"Will you?" Sven asked, sounding surprised and touched. "Why?"
Because if I see you moaning and groaning about that cat any longer I will literally throw up. "Because I'm a nice guy. Now, what do ladies love more than anything?"
"Uh…chocolates?" Sven offered, "Roses? Jewelry?"
Nick shook his head slowly, "Pickup lines." He held up his phone, showing off a website he had pulled up that had a list of the most famous/successful of pick up lines. "Guaranteed to make the girls melt."
.
"Hey, Charlie!"
The cheetah stopped, she was in the hallway making her way to her next class, other students walking around her as she looked for who had called her name. Her heart sunk in dread as she spotted Sven hurrying to her, so much for the leaving her alone thing.
"What is it?" she asked as the reindeer stopped before her, his eyes alit with childish excitement.
"I have one question for you," he declared.
She swallowed nervously, "I'm listening."
Sven pointed his hooves at her and flashed a smile that was meant to be suave. "How you doing?"
Charlie would've laughed if she wasn't thoroughly confused. Instead she lifted her paws and imitated his finger pointing, "I'm going to class." She quickly turned and hurried on her way before Sven's crazy turned contagious.
.
Judy was in the library, pulling out a book on the tame collar generation, and nearly let out a scream as Nick's face appeared on the other side of the shelf, grinning at her like he did from earlier.
"What are you doing?" she furiously whispered, her heart beating painfully against her ribs.
"Hey, Carrots," Nick spoke like she hadn't said a word. "I'd better get a library card."
Her brow furrowed, "What?"
He looked her over and winked, "Cause I'm checking you out. Get it?"
Judy placed the book back on the shelf, blocking the fox's muzzle from her sight.
.
Charlie and Gazelle were talking about a future project during a free time in class when Sven suddenly appeared, crawling on his hooves and knees as if he was looking for something on the floor.
"What's going on?" Gazelle asked him, her eyes shining with curiosity and amusement.
Sven looked up to the two females, "I dropped something when I saw Charlie."
The cheetah's eyes narrowed, "What would that be?"
"My jaw."
The cheetah and gazelle looked at him with pity.
.
P.E. was being held out on the field today and Judy was running with Clawhauser, throwing out encouragements to the cheetah whenever he looked ready to collapse. The best encouragements involved donuts.
Before she even realized it they were jogging next to Nick who was in the middle of his track practice. He noticed the bunny and grinned excitedly, "You with all those curves!"
He ran onward, Judy ignoring the weird look Clawhauser sent her before the fox appeared again, having dashed across the entire field to be at her side again, "And me with no brakes!"
Clawhauser giggled while Judy scowled.
.
Charlie sipped from her water bottle, leaning against the booth she occupied all by herself, enjoying relative peace and quiet. Of course that didn't last long. Once again Sven appeared, holding something behind his back.
"Hey, Charlie," he greeted, while the cheetah prepared herself to run. "Do you have any raisins?" He didn't give her time to answer before revealing his hoofs held a piece of fruit, "Well, then how about a date?"
"I'm a predator," she pointed out.
.
"Carrots!"
Judy tensed up as Nick stopped her before she could disappear into the restroom. "What is it now, Nick?"
"No, no, this is serious," the fox insisted. "I lost my phone number."
Judy's eyes narrowed, "Don't you dare…"
"Can I have yours?"
The rabbit hurried into the restroom before she smacked him.
"Was that a maybe?" he called through the door but never got an answer.
.
Charlie rolled her eyes as once again Sven scooted over to her side while she loitered in the hall. "I have a message to deliver." The reindeer pointed to a mammal across the hall, "You see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute."
Charlie looked to where he was pointing, "Hey, Wade!"
The wolf looked up from his book, looking more annoyed than surprised at being addressed.
"Are you and Sven friends?"
"No." The wolf glared at the reindeer who seemed to shrink into himself.
"That's what I thought," Charlie chuckled.
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Honey and Finnick watched as Judy viscously kicked at the closet door Nick had locked himself into. The rabbit let out an angry huff before marching off, nearly colliding into Rick who managed to jump away just in time. The senior watched her go with confusion before turning to the badger and fennec fox. "Why is steam coming out of Judy's ears?"
"Because Nick used a very bad pick up line," Honey sighed.
Rick looked at her, "What did he say?"
Finnick cleared his throat before speaking, "Do you have a mirror in your pocket?"
"Because I can see myself in your pants!" Nick called out from the closet.
Rick face-pawed.
.
Winter watched in mortification as Sven dramatically fell to the floor at the end of health class, landing right at Charlie's feet. The she-cheetah looked ready to step on him.
"I hope you know CPR," the reindeer gasped. "Because you take my breath away."
"Oh I'll take your breath away," Charlie growled and looked ready to pounce on Sven. Winter quickly reached over and grabbed her arm before blood could be spilled. While she did so she couldn't help but feel that that pick up line seemed to scream Nick Wilde.
.
Nick came close to succeeding on his fifth pick up line. The rabbit was taking another science class to help her get a better grip on it and today Nick managed to get Bobby Catmull to trade seats for the day and he ended up right behind her. While the teacher was busy pulling up a power point Nick leaned across his desk and pressed his lips against her ear, instantly Judy's fur bristled.
"You know what would look great on you?" he breathed, dropping his voice to sound low and husky, "Me."
Judy shivered, actually shivered, before turning around to glare at the fox but Nick was already leaning back against his seat with a smug grin on his face, taking note of how red her ears were. Judy, ever the good student, simply scowled at him and turned back to face the board.
Nick counted that as a victory.
.
Even Sven knew his next line wasn't any good, that's why he simply walked up to Charlie and said it in a dull tone that held no enthusiasm:
"Excuse me, but I'm new in town; can I have directions to your place?"
Charlie who had been stretching for her gym class, sent him an almost sympathetic look. "Just walk away, Sven."
He obeyed.
.
Reinvigorated Nick causally threw a line to Judy as he passed her and her friends in the hall. "Hey, Carrots, can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams."
"Oh my God, we have cell phones, Wilde!" Judy yelled to the ceiling while she kept walking. Clawhauser chuckled again while Fru Fru stared at Nick in open shock (having not yet been told about Nick coming on to her friend).
.
Just like the fox Sven came close to succeeding with his next line.
Charlie stepped out of the ladies locker room, her fur damp from her shower, when suddenly she felt someone grab her paws and there was Sven. He was standing before her, a full head taller not including the antlers, and held her paws to his heart, all the while his ice blue eyes stared deeply into Charlie's own brown ones and despite herself, she felt her heart skip a beat.
"Do you have a map?" he whispered to her, his voice a raspy brogue that she had always secretly enjoyed. "Because I just keep on getting lost in your eyes."
Charlie swallowed painfully, feeling her eyes stinging and she quickly pulled away from him, excusing herself before going back into the locker room. That was such a cheesy, lovely little pick up line and not for the first time Charlie wished she wasn't a cheetah.
.
Judy, Clawhauser, and Fru Fru were scrunched up together on a bench. Clawhauser telling them a crazy little adventure his older brother had had in the Rainforest District, when Nick suddenly appeared again. The cheetah and shrew looked up at him expectantly, smiles tugging on their lips. Judy eventually turned around to face him, her expression pained. "Yes?"
Nick smiled, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Fru Fru giggled appreciatively like she had received the compliment.
Judy looked at him drolly, "I will skin you in your sleep."
.
Charlie had almost gotten over Sven's last attempt at 'wooing' her when she realized he was never going to stop. Of course he wouldn't, he never stopped; he was like a terrifying machine.
So with a heavy heart Charlie watched him sit next to her in class and make a paper airplane, when he was finished he showed it off to her with an adorable smile, one hoof placed on his chest. "Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?"
Charlie turned away.
.
Judy was reading one of Franklin Bearstain's books when a shadow blocked out her light, she let out a sigh that came out more as a groan. She looked up to Nick standing over her, his eyes trailing over the words in her book. "What are you reading?"
"How to get away with murder," she replied and her frown deepened when Nick only laughed.
"The alphabet's a funny thing," he replied out of the blue. "You know, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."
He jumped back before the rabbit could whack him with the book.
.
"Is it hot in here or is it just you?"
Sven, Charlie, and a whole crowd were bunched up together in a crowd that was suffering a traffic jam. Charlie glared at him while Winter sighed and Gazelle giggled. Wade who was standing a few feet behind his ward rolled his eyes and looked at the reindeer, not sure if he should look sympathetic or mocking.
"Who are you talking to?" Raja, also standing by Wade asked. Some mammals around Sven were giving the reindeer weird looks, obviously thinking he had been talking to them. Sven acknowledged that pick up lines were all about location, location, location.
But since morning had already passed and he was catching a bad case of impatience, he leaned over Winter who stood between him and the cheetah and tried another line: "Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night."
"Sven," Winter spoke up, "Please don't make me hit you in front of everyone, please."
.
Judy was tossing a volleyball around with Charlie when Nick burst into the gym and actually sang his next line, "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" Judy threw the ball at him and he dodged with a yelp and hurried out of the gym.
"Ugh!" she let out a frustrated growl as she marched over and retrieved the ball.
Charlie gave her an understanding look, "You too, huh?"
Judy looked at her, "Huh?"
"Earlier Sven informed me that he didn't know angels could fly so low," she said with a sigh. "And then right before he left me here he went on about asking if my father was a thief cause someone stole the stars and put them in my eyes."
Judy chuckled and handed the ball back to her, "At least he was trying to be poetic. Nick used those typical cheesy lines, he was all 'do you come here often' and 'what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" She sighed, "He actually screamed, right there in the hall for everyone to hear, 'where have you been all my life'?"
"I know your pain," Charlie nodded to her.
"Yeah but the difference is Sven is trying to impress you because he genuinely likes you," Judy pointed out (not noticing how Charlie had flinched), "Nick is up to something. I don't know what yet but I do know that if I let him get away with it it's going to utterly humiliate me."
.
Nick and Sven sat on the front steps of St. Zoo, the bell tolling that the day was over and it was time to go home.
"Clearly we need a different approach," Nick decided out loud, his tail swishing as he thought.
"Agreed," Sven replied.
They had spent all day using the most popular pick up lines they could find but the closest they came to their objective was making the two blush. Nick was starting to think he might need more time. No, he told himself, It's only the first day, you will have that rabbit eating out of your paw, Wilde, just you wait.
In case anyone thought I couldn't write a chapter that's nothing but two characters spouting pick up lines and getting utterly rejected.
And I look at the reviews and chuckle while I shake my head fondly; you adorable little readers who thought Nick wooing Judy was going to be an easy affair.