And When I Wake
Chapter 21
"What does that mean? How do I translate it?"
JJ fought off her natural inclination to be frantic at the thought of Reid out there, by himself, chasing one of their unsubs. She'd been following Garcia's directions for nearly ten minutes, but the flashing light on the screen of her phone told her nothing.
"Take a breath, Jayje. Get the bad ideas out of your head. They're not helping you."
And, besides, I'll hold on to them for you, right here, in my head. Because, in her own way, Garcia loved Reid, too.
"I can't…"
Garcia thought she heard a few muffled curses before JJ's voice was clear again.
"I can't look at the screen and still see where I'm going. I'm off road, and there are too many trees, and…"
"Relax, honey, I've got you. You just keep your eyes out the windshield. I've got both of your phones pinging, I can see where you are. Well, virtually, anyway. I'll give you a direction, and you look for the next hole in the trees. Okay?"
There really wasn't any choice, so JJ agreed. "Okay. Which way?"
"Left…go left…..good. No, keep going left, Jayje…"
"I can't! There's a whole grove of trees there!" More than a hint of panic returning to her tone.
Garcia heard it and talked her back down. "All right, no worries. Just keep going straight until you find another space….ooh, good, you found one! All right, keep going as far as you can in that direction…"
The ride sounded rough. Through the open phone line, Garcia could hear a nearly constant rattle of things being thrown around in the SUV. Including, no doubt, her good friend.
"Great! JJ, you're almost there. Now, you need to go….like, slanted…like, maybe eleven o'clock….can you do that?"
"Not a straight shot, but I can figure it out. Stay with me, Pen. You're a lifeline."
Hoping they wouldn't actually need one. Garcia heard it and understood, sharing the hope. But also glad to hear the confidence returning to JJ's voice.
"You should be near him, Jayje. He should be right there, somewhere.."
The blonde profiler had been constantly scanning her surroundings, hoping to see her best friend. Praying to see him. Doing her best to battle the fear back down, when her eyes returned only the sight of trees, and brush, and dirt.
"Pen, what if he dropped it? What if we're just tracking his phone, but it's not on him?"
"Oh, please God, no. Are you sure you don't see him at all?"
"I don't…wait…wait..." Something that looked out of place. Something white, in a vista hued only in brown and green. Oh, please God, let that be his sneaker!
Garcia heard the sound of the vehicle's engine being turned off, and its door opening, and called through the line, "JJ, wait! The others are on their way!"
But the blonde profiler had already muted the phone. She couldn't know if it was Reid she'd spotted and, if so, if he was alone. She might have given away her arrival with the roar of the SUV's engine, but that didn't mean she couldn't keep her slim body hidden among the trees. She could still gain an advantage.
JJ crept as silently as the debris-coated ground would allow, stopping every few feet to listen. As she drew nearer and nearer to where she'd seen that little snippet of white, she thought she heard something. Her entire body went perfectly still, her focus entirely on the auditory input. It was a vaguely familiar sound, but she had trouble placing it. She'd heard it before, she was sure of it. She'd heard it… she'd heard it...
Oh, God!
JJ broke cover and ran full out toward the source of the sound, which she now fully recognized. She was able to make out the entire stretch of his legs ending in those blessed, bright white sneakers…..thank God you have no fashion sense!...even before she'd rounded the final copse of trees.
"Spence!" A whispered shout, still not sure if their unsub was within earshot.
He looked up at her with shaded eyes. "Can't…"
"You can't breathe, I can see that! What can I do?"
He was struggling so much that he could only pantomime the shape of his inhaler. "Car…."
"It's in the SUV?"
He nodded, much too slowly for JJ's comfort. In her distress for him, she forgot their situation and started to rise, intending to retrieve his pulmonary lifeline. But Reid grabbed at her arm.
"Coo…."
"Cooper? Where is he?" Feeling foolish, that she'd forgotten her primary role as an agent.
Reid waved in the direction that would have taken one deeper into the woods. "Gone…"
He looked completely disgusted with himself for having let their unsub get away, despite the clear fact that he could have done nothing to stop him. JJ made a mental note to have yet another little talk with her best friend, this one about the subject of guilt…. If only. Okay, God? If only You can help us here, I'll straighten him out, okay?
Satisfied that, with Cooper gone, her current most pressing duty was the saving of her best friend's life, JJ ran back to the SUV. She tore into every compartment in the vehicle, to no avail. Then she literally knocked herself in the head. His messenger bag! You doofus!
She grabbed the leather strap and pulled it toward her, praying even as she lifted the flap. And….there! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! Even if I'm still mad that he needs it in the first place!
She ran back with the whole bag slung across her shoulder, coming to a skidding stop as she rounded the tree against which he'd propped himself.
"Okay, here it is. Let me…" She'd seen him use it often enough. JJ knew to remove the cap, and shake the device, and place it into the tube. She handed him the latter, which he placed immediately into his mouth. As he took a breath, JJ surveyed the rest of him.
No blood. Nothing crooked, or swollen. And, thank God, his lips are pink.
When his head fell back against the tree, JJ knelt beside him and instinctively ran her hands through his hair. It was something she'd done so often for Henry, and even for Will. She didn't know if it was a human thing, or a female thing, but there was something about the touch that was comforting.
Except I don't know if it's comforting him, or me.
She bent her head in front of Reid's and made a point of catching his eyes.
"Okay? Do you feel any better?"
He tried, and failed, to smile. "Not…..yet." Then, struggling to get out one more word, "Sorry.."
She shook her head with vehemence. "I don't want to hear you apologizing for something beyond your control. Cooper got away. So what? We know who he is now, and we'll get him. The others are on their way now, along with most of the sheriff's office. And I left our friend Eloise cuffed back at the cabin."
That got a little smile. But he didn't say anything more, trying to conserve his breath. While they both waited for his medication to do its thing, JJ repositioned herself, settling in against the tree, next to him. She reached for his hand, and held it in both of hers, responding to the need to feel connected, and knowing, somehow, that he needed it too.
Something else they both needed was some distraction, so JJ fell back to her old standby. Henry.
"So, my mom is back from visiting her friends, thank goodness. That means I don't have to worry if Will has to work nights while I'm away. But mostly it means that your little buddy is thrilled to have his Meme to read him stories at night."
As she'd intended, Reid was engaged. But still breathless. All he could manage was, "Henry…read.."
She understood. "Yes, he knows how to read a little. Well, more than a little, I guess, thanks to his godfather." She grinned at him, and was elated when she got a little one back. "But he just likes it when we do it with him. But especially when Mom does it. She does all the voices and the animal sounds."
The look on his face told her he hadn't known.
"Oh, that's right. You probably haven't been around for bedtime since…" Cutting herself off. Because the 'since' would have ended with 'you used to come and commiserate over losing Emily.'
That deception had cost so much….so much...time, trust, and, very nearly, their entire friendship. Now, in this lonely forest glade, with Spence fighting for breath, JJ realized that it had also cost him part of his relationship with Henry. Because, once Emily's appearance had thrown light on the lie, it had also put an end to Reid's visits to the LaMontagne household. There was no death to mourn….except for that of their friendship….and no reason for Reid to do more than make a desultory visit to his godson. Which had been just fine with the boy's father.
The hand in her grasp had felt her stiffen, and he knew immediately what she was remembering. Reid stretched his other hand across and now held both of hers in his.
"'s all right.." was all he could manage.
She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I don't think I'll ever be able to say it enough."
This time, he caught her head in his hand. "Stop."
She obeyed him. Sort of. Instead of more words, she just gave him an apologetic smile and leaned her head against his. They sat that way in silence, waiting…..waiting…. waiting for the meds to work, waiting for their friends to come. Waiting….
"Oh, my God…..I muted her!" JJ pulled her phone from a pocket and hit a few buttons.
Once Reid realized what she meant, he laughed. Laughed.
JJ's eyes flew to his face. "What?"
"You muted Penelope Garcia?" Still winded, but finally able to get out a full sentence. It wasn't lost on JJ.
"You can talk!"
"What do you mean, I can talk? JJ, I've been bellowing into my mouthpiece for the past twenty minutes! Oh, my gosh, I was so worried! Where have you been?"
The two profilers looked at each other and burst out laughing. JJ went into a fit of giggling that lasted a full thirty seconds.
"What's so funny?"
"Sorry, Pen. Not you. I was talking to Spence."
"Spen….Reid? You found him?! Is he all right? Because if anyone hurt my junior G man…"
"When do I get to be a senior G man?"
"EEEKK! Reid! Oh, thank God. Are you all right? Because you don't sound like you."
JJ took the pressure of speech from him. "He's not quite all right. But he's so much better than he was a little while ago."
As excitable as she could be, Penelope Garcia also knew when it was time to get down to business. "Do you want me to send you an ambulance?"
JJ looked at Reid, who shook his head.
"Spence says no. I think I agree." Earning another smile from the man next to her. "As soon as he can walk, we'll be on our way out of the woods. But I think I might need you to direct me again."
They both heard the satisfied smile in the voice of their friend. "Just consider me your own personal GPS."
But it happened differently. Following a similar process to JJ's, the others were guided by Garcia to the spot where their colleagues were now seated in the SUV. Hotch made his way over to the vehicle.
"Are you all right?" Having been briefed, he directed his words to Reid.
The younger man nodded. "Much better. I'm sorry, Hotch. He got away from me. I just reached a point where I couldn't go on."
The two exchanged a look that was too long for JJ's comfort. This was precisely the type of scenario they'd both envisioned when they'd discussed whether Reid should agree to the offer…or demand…that he join DHS. Maybe there wouldn't be as much choice in the matter as they'd each hoped.
"We'll find him," the unit chief's voice exuded confidence. "Just make sure you take care of yourself." Looking from Reid to JJ. "Take him back to the hotel. Have Kimura look at him. Then make sure he rests."
As a newbie, Reid would have protested. Would have felt the need to prove himself. In the moment, those old tendencies returned, and he almost whined at his superior, 'I'm not a baby.' But JJ's maternal instincts told her to start the vehicle, drowning out anything Reid might have said or meant to say.
"It's as I told you, Dr. Reid….Spencer. Your lungs are healing, but they are not healed. With luck..and with Providence….they'll get there. Today may have been a lesson….or it may have been a fluke. You were, after all, in a forest, with many kinds of tree pollen, and mold spores…."
Kimura had examined him and prescribed an oral steroid to accelerate his recovery. As had happened in the past, the powerful medication had done its job.
"So, are you saying his lungs might just have reacted to the environment? That they may not be so badly damaged?" JJ wanted to make sure she understood. She'd already told Spence, 'HIPAA be damned, I'm coming with you.'
Kimura nodded. "But the reaction was severe, as you've both described it. There's no way to know if it would happen again, given a similar environment."
JJ gave a soft snort. Seeing that Kimura didn't understand, she explained herself. "I was just thinking…..if we need to avoid that kind of environment….well, I've always been kind of afraid of the woods anyway. Now I know why."
Reid, his voice now recovered, interjected between the two women who only wanted the best for him.
"So, is there anything I can do? Medication? Pre-treatment? Anything to keep it from happening?"
Because the last thing he, or any of them, needed, was to have one of their number suddenly out of commission, in the middle of a takedown. Today's event had only put him at risk, but he would be damned if he'd risk any of the others.
"Maybe." Kimura was on the fence. "But I truly believe this may be a temporary condition, as I've told you before. Your lungs were stressed in an unusual way this afternoon, Spencer. It's entirely possible it will never happen again."
Or not.