Q&A

1) Are you going to write a story on Sam and Jacob's children?

I'm still planning on writing a story about Nate/Meena/Gracie/Ryan/Gabe. I'll start it as soon as I'm done with Forbidden. If I decide to do a Leah story, I'll most likely start it while I'm writing the kids' story, but my main focus will be on the kids.

2) Why does Amy call Embry "B?"

"B" is short for EmBry.

3) Why do some people call Nate, "Nathaniel?"

Nate's full name is Nathaniel Harrison Uley (Harrison is in honor of Harry Clearwater, though Harry's name was Henry…the same name as Leah's oldest son). Nathaniel prefers the shortened version of "Nate."

Chapter 21 – Embry's Epiphany

Embry's POV

Contrary to popular opinion, imprinted wolves have freewill. We can make choices. Case in point, legends always said that wolves couldn't hurt their imprints in any way. Quil recently told me of a time where he had gotten into a huge fight with Claire when she was a teen. He had even gone so far as to call her a whore. Of course, when he woke up the next day he felt like absolute shit…like he had the flu, meningitis, and pneumonia all rolled into one. But he was still able to hurt his imprint because that was his choice.

We're able to choose our own destiny. We can choose to resist our imprints if we want. We can hurt them just as badly as they can hurt us. However, it's advised that we don't take this course of action.

And honestly, why would we want to? Why would we deliberately go out of our way to hurt the one person we were made for? Hurting our imprints was like hurting ourselves. Making our imprints happy made us happy. But isn't that normal whether you've imprinted or not? I mean, who wants to hurt the person they love? Unless you're a sadist and you hate the person you're in a relationship with, why wouldn't you want to make that special someone feel cherished? Imprinted love is no different than falling in love under normal circumstances. One of the few major differences is that we've been given a shortcut to finding our great love, while other people have to search for it.

I knew there were cynics out there when it came to anything "imprint-related." Collin used to be one. He never wanted to imprint. As soon as he met Lindsey though, he became another person. He became content…fulfilled in a way he never was before, all because of the power of imprinting. He was happy, and because of his love for Lindsey he became a better man, even under his current circumstances of being oddly drawn to Lindsey's friend Amber. Would he ever cheat on Lindsey? Hell no! A weaker man would, but Collin would never stray, which meant no one would ever get hurt from an affair. In fact, from what I could see of Collin's relationship with Lindsey since Quil's wedding, they were stronger than ever before.

Another former "anti-imprinter" was Jake. Jacob had once voiced concern that "freewill" was taken away when you imprint. But after he became imprinted himself, he realized that it was his will to be with Ness. Why would he ever choose to be away from her? She and their children made him happier than he ever thought possible. I've never heard him or any of my other brothers say, "wow, my life sucks because I imprinted." Because it wasn't true. They weren't miserable, just the opposite in fact. They would have ended up with who they did whether they imprinted or not. I have no doubt in my mind that if Quil hadn't imprinted on Claire when she was a kid, they would have ended up together anyway as soon as she became an adult. Because they were perfect for each other.

Hell, even Leah had finally gotten to a point in her life where she could see some of the positives of imprinting. I don't think she'll ever forget the pain of the past, but the happiest Leah has ever felt in her life was when she met and married her husband Dylan. She never imprinted on him, but she found a joy with him that she never had with Sam. It took her awhile to realize that she and Sam would have eventually fizzled out. Once she understood that, she had been able to accept Dylan in her life. And he gave her two things she wanted most; a love that was entirely for her and their children.

And then there was me.

I was currently laying in bed staring at the ceiling trying to figure out my life. Amy lay on the other side of the mattress as far from me as she could. There was nothing new in that. She wasn't my other half. She could tolerate the heat of my body for only short periods of time. Most women I had been with had been uncomfortable because of the heat my body exuded. I had even had a couple of women faint on me before. Only Rebecca had been able to handle my body temperature for an extended period of time. Because she was made for me.

But that didn't change things for me. Even though I recently had an epiphany and realized that imprinting wasn't an evil curse, I still chose to resist my other half. I never once sought Rebecca out since seeing her again. I felt the pull to her. It was like a siren's call, constantly taunting me. So many times I wanted to give in and find her, even if it was just for a small glimpse. She had once more become a drug to me, completely addicting and painfully hard to live without. I resisted for two reasons.

One reason was Amy. I loved her. Aside from the sexual side of our relationship, she was my friend. Though we hadn't been intimate in the week since I saw Rebecca again, my feelings hadn't changed because I re-imprinted. They say when you imprint, all your feelings to other people get severed and snipped away. I realized now that fact wasn't true. It's just that the feelings for our imprints are so powerful and strong, it overshadows all our other emotions, like the moon blocking out the sun during an eclipse. I knew that as much as I loved Amy, it wasn't one-tenth of what I had once felt for Rebecca.

Even before I imprinted, I had been deeply, utterly in love with Rebecca. She was a part of me…she owned a piece of my heart. She always had and she probably always would. If I'd never seen Rebecca again, I could have continued on with Amy for the rest of my life, but I would never have felt completely fulfilled. I would never have experienced, the profound, abiding love that Sam, Jake, Quil, and the others felt.

So why was I now avoiding Rebecca like the plague? Because I was choosing to walk away. I couldn't find it in myself to let Rebecca back in my life. It was self-protection, pure and simple. It wasn't easy to stay away from her, but I resisted because I couldn't and wouldn't go through the hell she put me through again. She'd tried calling me a few times, but I'd refused to take her calls.

Still, there was something I realized during all my recent self-reflection. I did owe the imprint magic in my blood. As fucked up and painful as imprinting had been for me, I was thankful for it. I didn't understand how much I owed until after I ran into Rebecca again. It hit me one day while I was standing in the shower. I would be nothing if it weren't for imprinting.

Before I imprinted I was lost. I'd lived half my life feeling as though I was nothing…the worthless bastard that would never amount to anything. I did a job that I didn't care about and drifted through life without ever living it. It was because of imprinting that I got my education. I sought solace in school, and I was now a doctor and a damned good one at that. If I hadn't imprinted, I would never have reached my full potential and become the man I am today. Maybe it was on a subconscious level, but I had wanted to prove that I was worthy…worthy of her. And now, I was the pride of the reservation. Me! The bastard who had grown up feeling like an outsider no matter how hard my friends' families tried to include me. I now belonged. I had my mother and sister in my life, I was forming a deep relationship with Seth, and I had a job I loved. If I hadn't imprinted, I would've never realized how much I needed any of those things. So I couldn't say I regretted imprinting because I didn't.

But I couldn't forget the heartache it had caused me either. The fact that I was now the one in a relationship and Rebecca was the one seeking me out was not lost on me. I didn't think I should have to give Amy up though simply because of a case of blurriness and unappealing scent.

I turned my head and looked at Amy. My heart began to ache a little. I wish I could give her the love that she deserved. I had wanted us to have a happy ending so much. I was willing to turn my back on my soul mate for her. But what if her soul mate was out there? What if our being together was preventing her from finding true happiness?

I frowned at that thought just as the phone rang. Glancing at the clock I saw that it was only 6 am. Neither of us was on duty tonight. My stomach twisted when I saw it was the hospital. Did one of our patients pass away? Reaching over to grab it before the ring woke up Amy, I murmured a quick hello.

"Embry, it's Quil," his tired voice came through the receiver. "Sorry to call you so early."

I sat straight up, "It's no problem, what's up?"

"My grandfather passed away," Quil replied in a choked up voice.

Sadness weighed heavily on me, "I'm so sorry Quil."

"Yeah," Quil sighed. "Listen we're going to have a visitation tomorrow and then he'll be buried the following day."

"Okay…Amy and I are on duty tomorrow, but we'll be able to get an hour or so off. Let me know what time the visitation is. And if you need anything, please give me a call."

"Sure," Quil replied. "Thanks Em."

"Everything okay?" Amy asked as soon as I disconnected the call.

"Sorry for waking you up. Quil's grandfather died."

"Are you all right? I know you cared for him," Amy said, reaching over to squeeze my hand in comfort. I held onto it tightly.

"Yeah…" I said, allowing grief to infiltrate me. "He was like a grandfather to me. I'm really going to miss him."

I brought her hand to my lips and quickly kissed it, putting it down before I could react to the pain the gesture caused.

"I'm going to take a shower," I replied.

I felt Amy's eyes on my face, but I didn't look in her direction as I got out of bed and got dressed. The following day, Amy and I made an appearance at the funeral home in Forks. The first person I saw was Rebecca. Of course she would be there. Her dad and Quil Sr. were both Elders and friends for years.

I forced myself to look away and headed towards Quil and his family to pay my respects. Claire and Quil were talking to Quil's sister Kya and her husband. Brady was hovering nearby, holding Quil and Claire's daughter, Kayley. She looked a lot like Claire did when she was that age, except for the shape of her eyes. That she inherited from her dad. Kayley and Brady were lost in their own little world, making faces at each other. It was obvious to anyone that he adored his imprint.

I could feel Rebecca's eyes boring into the back of my head, but I resisted the urge to look in her direction. Instead I ran my hand up and down Amy's spine in a soothing gesture as I reminisced about Quil Sr. When I finally couldn't take it anymore, I glanced at Rebecca. She was sitting between Billy and Rachel. She looked miserable, her eyes lowered to the ground. I looked away just in time as I saw out of my eye her head pop up as she looked at me again. Amy and I lingered for only a short time before we headed back to the hospital.

The next day was hard, a lot harder than I expected. As a doctor you're trained to detach yourself from death. It's a part of the job. But saying goodbye to not only an Elder, but a man who'd made me a part of his family was tough. He was such a strong presence for so long. It was going to be hard not going to him for his counsel whenever we wanted.

Sam gave a moving eulogy. He would now be taking Quil's place as the third Elder. But it wouldn't be the same. Old Quil had a vast knowledge of Quileute legends and facts. Though he never was a wolf himself, he understood us better than we did ourselves. I felt that we had reached the end of an era in our tribal history.

We stood around the grave in the icy rain and paid our respects. And yet, even as I stood under a large umbrella with Amy close to my side, I kept finding my eyes drifting to Rebecca. She was standing on the other side of the coffin. Her eyes looked puffy, but I couldn't quite be sure if her misery stemmed from Quil Sr.'s death or not. I didn't want her to be unhappy…I just didn't want her in my life.

I looked to her side and noticed the absence of her child. It startled me to realize that I didn't even know whether she had a boy or girl. I'd never asked anyone and no one had ever volunteered the information to me. I could understand why she would want to keep the kid out of this weather. None of the children were here. But as I stared at her, I became more and more curious about the kid. The child would have to be over six by now. I wondered what he or she looked like. As I continued to stare, Rebecca looked up and met my eyes. Everyone and everything else faded away as we stared at each other.

I wondered what was going through her head. Did she ever miss me over the last seven years? Did she ever think about me? Had she felt the longing to see me as I had her? I had never been able to let her completely go. I knew that now. For years I would occasionally get an intense restless feeling. It had been the pull to my imprint, laying dormant inside me but always present.

I felt Amy shift closer to me and I broke eye contact with Rebecca, wrapping my arm protectively around Amy to give her added warmth. The service was soon over and the coffin lowered into the ground. I bent my head for a moment. The wind picked up and I could have sworn I heard Old Quil's last piece of advice whispering to me.

"If you get a chance with your imprint…don't throw it away."

But I wasn't the one who threw our relationship away. Then again…could I put all the blame of what happened solely on Rebecca? As hard as it was for me, I tried to think of the situation from her perspective.

Rebecca had only recently found out she was pregnant when I showed up in Hawaii that day. She was scared, hormonal, and about to be a mom for the first time. Furthermore, she and the kid's father had been together for years. How could she leave him? And let's face it. I could have handled everything better. She'd asked to be my friend, and I had fought against it and told her no. I'd wanted all or nothing. I had made her choose, and she chose what was safe.

Then again, she was the one who told me I was nothing! She didn't care enough to fight for me, even if all she wanted was friendship. Feeling my heart harden once more, I turned away from the grave and began to walk with Amy by my side. I knew Rebecca was walking ahead of me. Even if I didn't have my eyes attached to the back of her head like I currently did, I still would have known exactly where she was. I was drawn to her, nothing would ever change that.

Rebecca was talking to Rachel when she stepped funny and began to fall. I was by her side in a flash, holding onto her arm to make sure she didn't hurt herself. The idea of her getting physically hurt was unacceptable to me.

It was the first time I had touched her in seven years. I couldn't help but run my hand briefly down her arm in a caress before I let go. Even through the layers of clothes, feeling her again was intoxicating.

I could hear her heart beating frantically. Her rhythm matched my own. She leaned towards me subconsciously but refrained from touching me. A part of me wanted to pull her to me and never let go. I even started to raise my hands to do just that before I stopped myself. Instead, I broke the pull drawing me towards her and took a step back. Rebecca quickly regained her composure.

"Thanks Em," she said softly.

I nodded and turned away from her and headed back towards Amy. Amy was in focus again so I knew she hadn't missed anything that just had happened. Shit! I picked up her hand and entwined it with mine before giving it a reassuring squeeze. She smiled back at me but it was a sickly smile.

We didn't talk about what happened. We just went on with our lives like we always did. But I could feel an emotional distance from Amy that wasn't there before, not even after I saw Rebecca again. So it wasn't a surprise to me when I came home from work one evening about a week after the funeral to find Amy standing in our living room with suitcases by her feet.

"What's this?" I asked even though I already knew the answer. Amy's perfectly clear face was a give away.

"I'm going back to Africa."

"Why? I thought you liked it here," I replied. As much as my heart screamed for Rebecca, my head wasn't ready to let Amy go.

Amy sighed, "I wanted to move out here because I'd felt like we were growing apart. I was hoping we could find our way back to each other if we came here. But things haven't improved, they've gotten worse." "

"Maybe we just need some more time to settle," I suggested desperately but Amy shook her head in rejection.

"You know what's always attracted me to you?"

I shook my head at her question and she continued, "You're the strong, silent type, but I knew behind your silence you were hurting. Someone had hurt you horrendously. Maybe it was the doctor in me, but I wanted to fix you. So I made you a project and somewhere we fell in love with each other."

"You did fix me!" I rushed to her, grabbing both her hands in mine.

"Thank you for saying that," Amy said, pulling her hands away, "but I think my work here is done."

"Amy, I don't want you to leave."

"B, you and I have been together for awhile now, but I always knew something was missing in our relationship. That's why I didn't accept your proposal. I didn't realize what the problem was until I saw you with Rebecca. I knew it as soon as you introduced us. I always felt like you were holding something back…that you always seemed haunted. Now I know why. You love Rebecca…I'm guessing you've been in love with her for years."

"I love you," I insisted.

"I know you do…" Amy whispered, cupping the side of my face. "But you love her more. And we both deserve more than to just settle for a relationship which is what we've been doing."

She reached up and gently kissed my lips. Perhaps it was because we were both hurting or maybe it was because she was no longer a threat to the imprint bond, but her kiss didn't cause me physical pain.

"Please be happy B, you deserve it," Amy said softly.

"What about you?" I replied, my forehead now resting against hers.

"Pete asked me to come back to the hospital in Africa. I think I'm going to. Did you know that we were involved before I met you?"

I shook my head. As much as I didn't like it, I could picture Amy and Pete Logan, my old mentor, together.

"We broke up before you ever arrived on the scene. But…when I called him to give us a reference last month he asked me to rethink my decision to move out here with you. He told me he's still in love with me. We've talked a few times since then, and I've come to the realization that my feelings for him aren't gone. I'm going to go back to Africa to see what happens, if we can make it work this time. Maybe you and I can both have our happy endings."

"I'm not going to end up with Rebecca," I said adamantly. "There's too much water under the bridge."

Amy rolled her eyes. "B, don't be an idiot. Anyone with eyes can see the two of you are crazy about each other. From the gossip I've heard, she's single. Take a chance. And let me give you a piece of medical advice…I've repaired you. Even if she was the cause of your hurt before, I really believe in my heart that she's got to be the one to heal you."

She leaned in and kissed me. I clasped my hand to her neck and tilted her head so that she could receive my kiss more fully. It didn't hurt me to feel her tongue mesh with mine and Amy didn't become a smelly, demonic being.

I pulled away and whispered, "Stay with me tonight. I'll take you to the airport in the morning."

Amy nodded. I took her hand and led her to the bedroom. We spent the night saying our goodbyes to each other in the most basic way. Our coming together reflected our relationship. It was tender and compassionate and the act of true friends who cared deeply about each other.

When I woke up the next morning, Amy was gone. It truly was the end of an era.

A/N – I'm going to try to get another chapter up on Thursday. Will most of you be around considering it's the eve of a holiday? Let me know and please review.