A/N: Okay, guys. since my computer crashed, i'm having to rewrite everything from scratch. so that's why i'm only updating as often as i am. trust me, i wouldn't leave you guys hanging if i didn't have to.

So keep reviewing and let me know what you think. you guys rock :)

Chapter 21

Gale
All I could see was black. I kept trying to open my eyes, thinking I had them closed on accident. I could only see black.

I tried to search back through my memory, how did I get here?

I remembered being on the hovercraft and landing in the Capitol. I remember finding Johanna, Annie, and Madge. I remember getting them back on the hovercraft, and being the last one, and getting ready to close the door. Then…black.

I search even harder through the memories…but I find nothing. Instead, the black starts to lighten. I can feel pressure on my hand, an angel's voice calling to me. "Gale, Gale honey can you hear me?"

I grunt, and I feel immediate pain in my abdomen. The angel is calling me back from the darkness, "Gale. Stop thinking. You were shot."

At this, I open my eyes. Light floods me, I get my bearings and realize I'm in a hospital room, Katniss is at my bedside, eyes wide with fear. I started to open my mouth, it fucking hurt.

It was a damn good thing we could read each other so clearly. Katniss saw my face, she looked to Haymitch and he nodded before she answered me.

"On your way out, you made sure the girls were in the hovercraft before you were. It was really noble of you. But a man stepped out from behind a building and shot you three times. Once in the chest, once in your lower abdomen and once through your left shoulder. He narrowly missed your heart." She handed me a pen and paper, "the doctors don't want you to speak for a few days at the least."

I smiled as I took the pad from her, I scribbled a sentence that I knew would make her blush. I gave her back the notepad and sure enough, she turned deep red.

They couldn't have shot my heart. I left it here with me.

I smiled, and knew I'd be in good hands until I was healed.

Her mother came by periodically to check my bandages and things. I had worn one of Cinna's bulletproof vests, unfortunately, they only covered the chest, leaving the stomach, arms, legs, and head open for business.

I discovered the first bullet just left a huge bruise right where my diaphragm would be, which is why they didn't want me speaking. The one through my lower abdomen just clipped me and needed bandages. But the one through the shoulder was what would cause me the most pain and the most therapy.

Katniss didn't leave me unless I made her, which I did for her own good. Her schedule had been changed where she only had to leave me for two hours at a time, but it still made her sick to not be able to interpret my emotions and tell people what I needed. The only part I liked about her being gone was that no one could tell the nurses how much pain I was in.

Everyone came to visit every so often. My mother, brothers and sister coming in second only to Katniss. She still had the ring on her hand, so I figured she could tell everybody now that they knew I was going to make it. Her mother and sister, of course, already knew. But my mother just smiled and smiled, handing me my father's ring. Said it would come in handy if we had a toasting soon.

Posy was thrilled that Katniss and I were officially together. She had considered herself a matchmaker and her newest project was Rory and Prim. She sat on my bed and would go on for hours upon hours about them. One night, she was telling us about something Rory had said to Prim at lunch, and I shot a look at Katniss to interrupt.

"Pose, Gale wants to know if you have a boyfriend."

My mouth hung open, that was most definitely not what I had wanted to know. Katniss looked back at me and stuck out her tongue, stay calm. I got this.

Posy thought hard about whether she wanted to tell me or not, "Actually. I do." She stuck out her chest, proud of herself on such an accomplishment for a five year old. "I met him at school and his name is Curry Mellark!" I laughed, and quickly regretted it. It just had to be Peeta's cousin. I settled for rolling my eyes instead.

Haymitch stopped by during the hours Katniss had training. He would discuss strategy, which was hard since I couldn't actively speak yet, what had happened, what they were using against the Capitol, and our three rescued women. Apparently, the status of each of them was so bad that only the need-to-know people knew about it. I didn't realize I was one of those people, but Haymitch told me what was going on anyway.

Apparently, they knew from the beginning that Annie knew nothing. They just held her and malnourished her to have something to use against Finnick. I spit, it was just Capitol bullshit to hold someone as delicate as her so she could talk. Haymitch had just shrugged and said Annie was on the mend, Finnick had even been in to see her so he could explain what was going on.

Johanna was quite the opposite. They knew that she held valuable information, and they tried to torture it out of her. She knew most of our secrets, but Haymitch said that she didn't give up any of them. The only thing she gave up was that we were vulnerable in the case of a bombing. I snorted, and my hands quickly covered my chest. Damn it to hell, that really hurts.

Haymitch smiled, "They bought it too. Coin's ordered that everyone just move down compartments to be on the safe side. But they're basically going to waste their time unless they try to nuke us. Which we don't think they'll do because they think it'll be easy to pick us off with regular bombs."

I grabbed my pen and paper,

What about Madge? Did she know anything?

Haymitch's eyes narrowed at my question. "Boy, Katniss and Peeta don't know any of what I'm about to tell you. Peeta has been back to see her once, and she was unconscious. But what we're worried about is how malnourished she was… she was also six weeks pregnant."

I started to get angry. My scribbling became less and less legible.

Rape?! BASTARDS. does madge know?

"Yes, boy. We think they raped her as a torture until they realized she didn't know anything. Then they tried malnourishing her to get rid of the evidence. And yes, Madge knows. But she's decided she wants to tell him herself. And that's how it's going to stay. You can tell Katniss, it'll be better coming from you anyway, but if she tells Peeta, I'll come down here and shoot you point-blank myself. Understood?"

Wow, Haymitch sure had venom in his voice when he wanted it. I nodded and wrote for him to tell Katniss I needed her whenever she was done with training.

Madge
Six weeks. Six of forty, almost seven. I could already tell that I had gained a little weight from this kid, but most of my days were spent trying to sleep or trying to forget where I was, so I hadn't given it much thought.

Now I was back in 13, safe and sound. My parents were dead, my boyfriend didn't know anything about my condition, and all anyone could do these days was feel sorry for me. "Poor little Madge. Got involved with the wrong side and now she's raped, knocked up, and confused."

Confused. They had sent that nice doctor back here to talk to me about my "condition" and make sure I was mentally healthy. He knew as well as I did that I was a changed woman.

But Peeta didn't. and that pained me to know that the only guy I'd ever possibly loved didn't know the secret that was haunting me. For some reason, I just kept putting off telling him. I knew eventually I wouldn't be able to hide it, but I just felt like he'd abandon me if I told him.

The doctor had told me that part of the reason I was depressed was because I couldn't face my fears. I couldn't really own up to the baby and the fact that Peeta may not like it. He encouraged me to get out there and do what I had to do. Otherwise, the nightmares wouldn't stop.

So two days after he gave me his advice, I called Peeta down to my room. He practically skipped down the hallway. He kissed me on the cheek and began filling me in on everything that had happened. Posy's birthday party, Gale and Katniss's engagement, Annie and Finnick, it was all almost too much.

"Peeta, I need to talk to you about something important. I will be able to understand if you don't want to be with me anymore after I tell you." He nodded and I continued with the story.

I told him of the repeated rape. The sneers from the guards as they followed the orders Snow gave them, how they laughed at me crying and begging for them to stop. How they took my innocence and made me a would-be mother. I told him of Johanna in the cell next to me, screaming and cursing and begging them to stop hurting me…and I told him I'd never forget the beatings she took so they would stop hurting me.

I told him of them stopping my food and water because they found out I was pregnant. They figured killing me was the right thing to do since they had ruined my life. I told him how Johanna always saved half of her bread and water to give to me after the guards went to sleep for the night.

When I finished, Peeta just sat there, holding my hand. He didn't have a look of disgust, nor did he have a happy look. He just sat and muddled over everything I said.

I hadn't realized I was crying, but he did. He jerked up his head and wiped the tears from my eyes, tenderly kissing my swollen lips from the beatings I got. His eyes seemed to light up as he patted my stomach. "Well you know what this means, don't you?" I shook my head, "this means we're going to be a family."