Twenty-One
Ed took the thermometer out of Noah's ear and smiled, showing him the digits. "Fever free, bud!"
Noah smiled and leaned into his dad, still sniffling a little but clearly feeling much better. "Mommy come back now?"
Ed pulled Noah closer into his side, kissing his head. The little boy had been such a trooper while he was sick, only asking for Olivia a few times at the height of his fever, but always happy to be in Ed's arms. It was particularly difficult on the nights when Olivia was also not well, because Face Time wasn't necessarily an option. Ed fretted over whether he would end up with the flu, prolonging their quarantine which was now on its fourth day, but their pediatrician seemed to think if he hadn't already gotten sick, he was in the clear.
Though Noah had been a warrior, Lizzie hadn't been so easy. Still too young to understand why her mother wasn't with her, she would cling to Ed and just cry at times, particularly when they were waiting for medicine to kick in, mumbling "mommy" with her thumb in her mouth. In fact, there was a time span of a few hours in which the little girl hadn't let go of her death-tight grip on Ed's shirt, meaning that wherever Ed went, Lizzie went. Both kids, just looking for comfort, regularly slept in the master bedroom with Ed, and they would curl up with each other to watch movies or look at picture books until one or both fell asleep. Ed felt like both of the kids' fevers broke early that morning, so he was cautiously optimistic as he hung out with Noah and debated what to do for lunch.
"When Lizzie wakes up, we'll check her temperature too," Ed explained, "and if she's still fever free, I'll call the doctor and figure out when Mommy can come home, okay?"
"Okay, daddy. I miss her."
"I know you do, Noah. I miss her too."
"We call her?" Noah asked, craning his neck and looking up at Ed, eyes hopeful and bright. Ed smiled in relief that his son was looking so much better, but shook his head.
"She's getting her drip right now," he explained, "but we will see how she feels later, okay? It may be tomorrow before we Face Time again."
Noah's face dropped, and he moved to pick at the blanket covering his legs. Ed could tell he was trying to tough it out, but it had been a long few days. Just as Ed was about to open his mouth to try and offer an ice cream consolation, a text came through from Charlie.
Hey, things are going pretty well right now. Is Noah awake and feeling okay? Mom wants to Face Time from the chemo-chair, in case things go south later.
Ed's face lit up; the timing couldn't have been more perfect. "Hey, No, let's call her right now."
Noah bounced on the couch a little and grabbed the phone from Ed's hand, expertly navigating the contact list, finding "Liv" and hitting the video call button. She picked up on the first ring.
"Hi my sweet boy!" Olivia's face came into the screen and it was all smiles. Noah started waving and blowing kisses immediately.
"Mommy! You getting da drip?"
"I sure am," she said, holding up her left arm, "see?"
"Uh-huh," he said, nodding his head and inspecting the screen. "That's the right one!"
They all laughed and continued a pleasant conversation, talking about the melting snow, what Noah was eating and drinking, how many times they had watched certain movies, and when Lizzie would wake up. The conversation progressed for about five minutes, before Olivia's eyes closed. Ed took the phone and studied her closely.
"Liv?"
"Yeah, just…dizzy all of a sudden," she said softly, handing the phone off to Charlie who smiled at her dad.
"Hey Dad," she said, "maybe we need to go…"
"Can Liv say bye to Noah?"
Charlie turned the phone around and Noah blew his mother one last kiss before they ended the call, Olivia immediately reaching for the bowl next to her chair. Charlie leaned forward, holding her mother's head as she threw up a few times. Exhausted, Olivia leaned back in the recliner with her eyes closed, but she blindly pawed around for Charlie's hand. She took it and squeezed.
"Right here, Momma."
"That..came out of nowhere."
"The doctor said that could happen. One minute you're fine, the next you're sick. Then you're fine again. It's okay."
Olivia groaned and Charlie grabbed the bin just in time, allowing her mother to continue getting sick as she pressed the nurse's call button. "Okay, Momma, hang in there. We're almost done okay? Just another hour or so, then you're done for a few weeks. I'm gonna get the nurse to come clean us up…"
Meanwhile out in Sag Harbor, Ed had hung up the phone and was busy making Noah lunch and trying not to think about how quickly the call had ended. Obviously he was worried about his wife and the fact that he still wasn't by her side, comforting her and holding her close. But there was something else that still felt off about the entire morning, and he couldn't help but go back to their conversation several hours before:
"She's hurting and I can't even focus long enough to help her…"
If something was truly up with Charlie, Olivia would never forgive herself for not being able to be there and support her, even if she was deathly ill. And the more Ed thought about it, the more he couldn't stand the idea of any of it: Charlie hurting alone and Olivia hurting because something was being hidden from her. Having had enough of this nonsense being quarantined from his wife, Ed picked up the phone and hit speed dial four.
"Trevor, we need to chat…"
Trevor raced uptown, hoping to beat Charlie and Olivia back to the apartment. After his phone call with Ed, which had him pining to get back to the girls already, Charlie had sent him a message and asked if he was able to come help her get Olivia home. She was dizzy, and Charlie was nervous, but deep down he felt like Charlie was just fried from the night before and the subsequent hours in a chemo bay. Trevor was easily able to pass his load off to his assistant, since the jury was still deliberating, and take off instructing them to only call if there was a major issue, or they reached a verdict. He hopped out of his cab just as Charlie called, saying they were around the corner, so he waited on the sidewalk, noticing how the late February temperatures was still frigidly cold.
Quickly approaching the car, he opened the door and bent down to gently lift Olivia out of the cab. Her face was pale and her lips were trembling, but she was a little more steady than he anticipated. Keeping both arms around her, he got her onto the sidewalk and turned back to help Charlie, but she had already paid the cabbie and rushing to them and steadying Olivia on the other side.
"Okay, Momma, almost there," she said, nodding her thanks to the doorman as he let them in and jogged ahead to press the up button on the elevator. Less than five minutes later, Olivia was tucked on the couch, having refused the bed, and was trying to keep her eyes open.
"Sleep," Charlie coached, sitting next to her and pressing her forehead against hers. "Get some sleep. I'm gonna be right here, okay?"
Olivia nodded and closed her eyes, though her hand still gripped the fabric of Charlie's sweater. Trevor observed the interaction from by the windows and once he thought Olivia was out, came over and helped Charlie up, pulling her into his arms. "Hey…you okay?"
"I'm okay," she responded softly, but her arms wrapped around Trevor a little tighter. "Glad you're here."
"Charlie…"
Something about the tone of his voice got her attention and she looked up, her eyes wide and curious. "You better not tell me something bad…I cannot deal with anything else."
"I spoke with your dad today…"
Charlie went rigid, backing up and narrowing her eyes. "You…Trevor!"
"Look, he knew something was going on and he was…God, he was a mess on the phone…"
Charlie shook her head quickly, getting him to be quiet before pulling him back into the hallway and away from Olivia.
"He didn't need that, Trev," she insisted, running her hands through her hair and taking deep breaths. "He's…"
"I didn't tell him everything," Trevor quickly said, jumping to his own defense but trying to get Charlie to calm down. "Just…the bare minimum. That Jake came onto you a little strong…"
Charlie bit her lip and wrapped her arms around herself, falling back against the wall and hanging her head. "That's all it was, really…"
"That's not all it was," Trevor yelled and Charlie winced, causing him to immediately regret the tone. "I'm sorry…I just…he assaulted you."
"Yeah, I know that, I was there," she spat back at him and was about to say something else, when her mother's voice caused her stomach to drop.
"Charlie?"
"Momma! Why are you up?" She ran over, noticing Olivia was holding onto the column leading into the kitchen. Her brown eyes were wide and they never left her daughter.
"What…" Olivia began to shake her head, hands shaking and Charlie was quick to reassure her, but she didn't end up having time. Right before she was about to downplay the event, Olivia's legs buckled and she threw up all over the two of them. Charlie grabbed onto her, Trevor running over, and they helped her down to the floor. He immediately went for a pot and a bunch of towels, as Olivia gave in from the treatment and heaved right in the middle of the hallway.
"Oh Momma," Charlie said, holding her as best as she could and rubbing her back. "I'm right here. You're okay, it's okay, try to breath. Almost done…"
Ed was pacing. Shifting his hands from the pockets of his worn jeans, to occasionally rubbing his voluntarily almost bald head, then stuffing them back in the pockets, he paced. Starting in the kitchen, he would round the island, then head into the living room where he'd stop to fluff a pillow or two, go down the hall to peek in on Noah and Lizzie napping, then head back to the kitchen and start the route all over. Ed was growing more and more impatient, waiting for Dr. Kamal to return his call and clear him to head into Manhattan.
As soon as he had hung up with Trevor, the growing pit in Ed's stomach grew. Trevor was holding back, and he could tell. His mind was rushing towards worse-case scenarios, regarding Jake and Charlie. Did that bastard hurt his daughter? Did he need to get the police involved? How was Charlie coping? But among his biggest worries was how Olivia was going to take the news, and it furthered his resolve to get into the city and be there in case she found out. Trevor had made it clear that Charlie was not dealing with it, just pushing through until Olivia was done with the treatment and their family had some resemblance of normalcy, whatever that was these days. Ed continued to fret, however, because he knew his wife and she had amazing instincts, even despite chemotherapy, about their daughter and particularly about this kind of stuff. He was convinced she would find out sooner rather than later.
Ed had already called Amanda, who was in route after handing over her current case to Carisi, because Ed just assumed that Dr. Kamal would be okay with this arrangement. He felt fine, the kid were fever free, and his family needed him. The only reason he hadn't piled everyone in the car immediately was the fact he was crippled with fear on what would happen if Olivia contracted the flu. So he waited and paced, moving to crack his knuckles just as his cell phone finally went off.
"Hey, doc," he said, finally sitting down on the couch and leaning forward, his finger running along the edge of the coffee table as he listened, nodding and occasionally giving the doctor an "mhmmm" or an "I understand". He hung up the phone and stood up, stretching and looking around the room before giving Amanda a quick call.
"You have an ETA? The doc said I'm good to go, and I can even bring everyone back to the house tomorrow afternoon…yeah…of course…I really appreciate this, Rollins. See you soon."
Figuring he still had a couple of hours, Ed began to throw a bag together and despite everything that was swirling around their family, he smiled. He would be in Manhattan and reunited with his wife by nightfall.
Olivia was finally tucked back in the bed and the sun was beginning to set over the Upper East Side. Charlie sat right at Olivia's waist, not moving and just watching her face, wishing that she was more lucid. All she wanted was to come clean to her mother about Jake, but it was clear that once Olivia finished throwing up and they were all cleaned up, that she didn't remember overhearing the earlier conversation. Or it didn't appear that way, at least.
Maybe that's for the best, she thought to herself, smiling softly at the fact that Olivia finally seemed somewhat in a peaceful slumber. Eyes scanning her mother's face, Charlie found herself spiraling down some kind of deep, dark pit and she kicked herself for it. Here she was, wanting nothing more than to curl up in her mother's arms and let her comfort her, make her feel safe, but she felt selfish. Olivia was fighting for her life, miserable, away from her husband and little boy, and Charlie was an adult. She had spent most of her life on her own and, in her opinion, had gotten a little too used to familial support. Time to buck up, she told herself, but the yearning for her mother to be well, cured, and back to her old self didn't go away. So Charlie just continued to sit there, holding Olivia's hand and watching her take deep breaths, trying to be grateful for what she had in front of her. She was about to give into a few tears when the door creaked open behind her.
"You two…are a beautiful sight," Trevor said, shaking his head and moving slowly into the room, kneeling by Charlie's legs. "She'll be okay soon, babe, give it time."
Charlie took a deep breath but shuddered, trying to hold in her tears. Shaking her own head, she moved to kiss Olivia's cheek and lead Trevor out of the bedroom, leaving the door open a crack behind her. Trevor no sooner was in the kitchen with his girlfriend before he had wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head and encouraging her to just let her emotions out.
"Let it out," he said softly, feeling Charlie's body continue to tense, "I'm right here."
"No," she mumbled. "No no no no."
"Charlie…"
"I just…I can't do this anymore…"
Trevor was about to respond when they heard Olivia call from the bedroom, though Charlie couldn't make out what she said. Shooting Trevor an apologetic look she pulled from his arms and scurried into the bedroom, closing the door softly behind her. Olivia was curled on her side, covers thrown off, and sweating.
"Ed?" She called out, her voice weak and shaky as her hands reached out for whoever entered. Charlie's heart broke at her tone.
"No, Momma," she said softly, running quickly to the bathroom to grab a cool washcloth. Sitting on the bed, she dabbed at Olivia's forehead and beck. "It's just me, Charlie."
"Charlie…" she muttered, "where's…I want….Ed…."
"Oh Momma, I know you do." Tears welled in Charlie's eyes as she watched Olivia grimace and swallow, clearly trying to ground herself in reality despite feeling so terrible. "Soon, okay? I know this is just…it's awful…"
"Charlie…" she whispered, her eyes opening but still completely glazed and swirling with confusion. "Someone…hurt you?"
The tears poured from Charlie's eyes before she could stop them. Chewing her bottom lip, she shook her head, trying to calm Olivia. Now was not the time for this conversation.
"I'm fine Momma…I promise."
"Ed?" She called again, and Charlie knew she made the right decision holding back. Just when she was about to text and ask if Ed could Face Time, the door opened. Charlie's eyes widened as she stood up, leaving room for her incoming father, as she hadn't known that he was on his way.
Ed's eyes scanned the room, first landing on Olivia, but he fought his instinct to rush right to her. Making a quick detour, he moved to kiss Charlie's cheek and look her dead in eyes that mirrored his own. "You okay?" he asked, his head down a little but his gaze focused.
"I'm fine," she said softly, nodding towards Olivia. "Momma needs you right now…"
He gave Charlie one more look before turning and smiling, finally meeting the brown eyes of Olivia, though they were tired. She was watching him, face still a little sweaty, but she had a small grin on her face.
"Olivia…" Ed whispered, making his way over and sitting in the spot Charlie had abandoned upon his arrival. His hands reached out to cup Olivia's face and he leaned down, kissing her nose and lips before settling his forehead on hers. "Oh baby…I'm right here…I love you"
"Ed…" she sighed out, and Charlie smiled as she watched Olivia's body relax as she was finally in her husband's arms again. "You're here…"
"I am," he said simply. "Doctor cleared me. And I'm gonna stay right here."
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