Everyone I am so sorry. I know I write that very often but I hope to finish this story soon now (but there`ll be a couple of more chapters).

Thanks for all your reviews and please don`t stop reading only because it takes me so long to update. Please ;)

I sadly don`t own anything.

Chapter 21

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5 years later

"Can I sleep with you Addie? I`m scared because I had a really bad dream." Emma asked carefully when she walked into Addison`s and Derek`s master-bedroom at 2 o`clock in the morning.

"Of course. Come here Emma. Do you want to tell me about the dream?

"I was back at home and Meredith, she forgot me and we were home and she left and didn`t come back. But I yelled her name and went after her when she left but she didn`t hear me. She didn`t even turn around even when I yelled really loud Addie, can`t I stay here and live with you daddy Tyler and Henry?"

"Why would you want that sweetie? What about your mom, don`t you want to live with her? It was just a really bad dream." Addison tried to calm the little girl and pulled Emma closer to her body. She wasn`t hers, but she wanted her to be her own flesh and blood so badly.

"No it isn`t much fun to live with Meredith." Meredith didn`t want Emma to call her mom or mommy, she forbit it. Sometimes, when Emma plays with Addison`s and Derek`s twin boys Tyler and Henry she calls Addison mommy too, not intentionally of course. But for Emma Addison feels more like a mother than Meredith.

"Sweetie, you`re mommy would be so sad if you didn`t want to live with her anymore."

"No she wouldn`t! She never plays with me! It was always aunt Izzie or uncle George who played with me but aunt Izzie moved away and uncle George died and now there is no one who plays with me or cuddles with me. Only when I`m with you and daddy. Meredith`s always at the hospital and I`m at daycare. I also sleep there very often because she works so much. She never takes me to the park or to the playground because she`s too busy with work and she never lets me sleep with her in the big bed not even when I`m really scared because I had a nightmare and you let me sleep in yours even if daddy`s at work and you`re not even my real mommy." The girl explains sadly.

"Oh sweetie, maybe you should talk to your daddy about that, hmm?" When Emma started telling her about her life in Seattle, Addison sat up to look at the girl. Now she took her in a loving embrace so she would feel safe and loved. Obviously both things she`s missing in Seattle.

"Can you talk to him? I don`t want to. It makes me so sad." Emma started sobbing now. Of course a 5 year old can`t really deal with such an amount of ballast.

"I guess I can do that. But are you really sure that you want that? Going to school here and only go to Meredith for visits? Just the other way around?" Concern was now evident in Addison`s voice.

"Yes more than anything else." She whispered and placed her head on Addison`s chest. She started relaxing now.

"I`ll talk to your dad then." Addison assured her and lay down to go back to sleep, but this time, with a little girl in her arms.

"Thank you Addie"
"Your welcome. You know it makes me very sad too when you tell me about it."

"I`m sorry." Emma whisphered.

"It`s going to be okay Emma. How about we go back to sleep now sweet-pea?"
"All right, good night mommy."

"Good night baby girl." Mommy, Addison loves it when Emma calls her that. She always wanted her to be her child as well. She loved and adored her just as much as her boys. After that little talk they both fell asleep again in no time.

At 6 o`clock Derek came home and when he walked into the bedroom and saw his two favorite girls cuddled so close to each other that not even a sheet of paper would fit between them, a big smile appeared on his face. It makes him so happy that Addison and Emma get along so well. He undresses himself and lay down next to Emma only in his boxers and put his left arm around her and Addison.

Addison stirred and looked in her husbands deep blue eyes. She woke up most of the times when Derek got home in the middle of the night.

"Go back to sleep, I didn`t mean to wake you." He whispered so he wouldn`t wake up Emma.

"Hmm, how late is it?"
"6 and it`s christmas, so the kids will probably be up very soon. Get some more sleep before it`s too late" he said and gave his wife a quick but very intense kiss.

"I let them stay up long so they might sleep a little longer than normally." Addison said smiling.
"You're the best."
"Hmm I know. Good night handsome."

"Good night and sweet dreams beautiful." He said his good night with another quick kiss. Then he stroke her back up and down because he knows that Addison enjoys it and falls asleep very quickly when he caresses her back.

"Daddy get up, Santa was here!" Tyler yelled 2 hours later jumping up and down on his parents bed, Henry climed on the bed as well but crawled to his mommy snuggeling close to her.

"Tyler lower your voice" Derek growned still half asleep.

"But daaaad! Santa was here, Henry, tell him."

"Momma, can we go downstairs open our presents? Pleeease?" Henry asked sweetly, knowing exactly how he had to talk to his mommy so he would get what he wants. He knows exactly how to use his charm on women, especially his mom.

"Hmm in 5 minutes, okay?" she replied pulling her son in her arms.

"Thank you mommy." He said giving Addison a kiss.

"Daddy get up."
"Don`t yell so loud Tyler." Emma yelled annoyed pulling the blanket over her head. She`s definitely not a morning person but neither are Derek and Addison. The boys just have too much energy, especially Tyler.

"Sorry Emma" he now whispered sweetly.

20 minutes later the Shepherd family sat on the floor in the living room, everyone with a cup of steaming juju while listening to christmas carols.

The kids were scanning the christmastree and all the beautiful presents below it really excited. Ever since Emma was born, she spent christmas at the Shepherds house in New York because Meredith wouldn`t celebrate Christmas nor Thanks Giving.

"Do you want to open your presents now?" Derek asked his kids smirking as he of course already knew the answer.

"Yes" they answered excited, Tyler got up jumping up and down while Emma clapped her hands and Henry`s eyes only widened.

Emma unwrapped a gigantic present which was wrapped in pink-gold paper and when she realized what was in it, her eyes were glittering with tears of joy.

"Thank you soooo much daddy and Addie" she said falling into their arms.

"You`re welcome Emma." Sadly Meredith has told Emma that Santa`s not really existing. She ruined a lot.

"I`ve always wanted a doll-house. I imagined it exaclty like this." She said, her eyes shining. Emma immediately started to play with her new doll-house and ignored the fact that there are more presents for her.

"Boahhh" Tyler said surprised and impressed by his new bike.

"Do you like it baby?" Addison asked her first born son.

"Yes, it`s soo cool, right Henry?"

"Yeah, mine is sooo cool too." Henry said who got a different bike because the boys never wanted to have the same things.

"I guess we have to write Santa a letter to thank him, don`t we?" Derek suggested to the kids.
"Okay" the boys agreed. Emma was still occupied playing with the doll-house.

"There`s a present for you too Der." Addison said handing him a big package.

"Honey that wasn`t necessary." Derek said taking his present and started unwrapping it.

In it was a new family-tent and much more stuff that they would need for camping.

"Does that mean we`ll go camping next summer? All together?"
"If you keep me warm, then we can go camping." She smirked and kissed his lips soflty.

"I promise. I guess it`s your turn to get a present now, isn`t it?"

"Yeah" she laughed looking forward to what Derek got her this year.

"God I love you."

"You told me you would like that."
"I do, I really do."

"Der it`s perfect."

"I`m glad you like it."

On one of his days off he took the boys and Emma and went to a photographer. He took some pictures and framed them. One of each child alone, one with the boys and Emma and of course one of Derek and all three children. And then there was a letter which said they would go to the photographer again, and make a couple of more pictures of the whole family.

"Thank you so much Der."
"I love you." She added after she had scanned the pictures closely.

"I love you too."

After they had unwrapped some more presents, the kids got their coats and boots on and went into the Shepherd`s backjard to build a snowman.

Addison decided it would be the perfect time to tell Derek about the talk she had with Emma the previous night.

"Will you help me cooking?" Derek asked while he started to wash the vegetable.

"Sure. But I`d like to talk to you first."
"Why do you suddenly look so serious? Is everything all right?" He asked her worried.

"No, not everything is all right. It`s about Emma."
"What about her."

"She asked me if she could stay with us. Move her and live with us."
"Why would she want that?"
"Because Meredith isn`t exactly a good mother, but you don`t want to see this Derek. I`ve told you before. Emma, she doesn`t want to go back."

"Why do you think that?"
"Because she came to me in the middle of the night because she had a bad dream. She was at home and Meredith left. Emma run after her, called her name, but she didn`t hear her and just left her alone and didn`t come back. She said she yelled her name but she wouldn`t even look at her.

She practically lives at daycare, she spends many nights at the hospital, Meredith takes her never to the park or to a playground. She`s too busy with work and forgets about her own daughter. I`m not saying she`s a bad person, but she definitely isn`t a good mother."

"Addison I`m sure it`s not that bad." Derek tried to convince probably more himself than her. He didn`t want to belive that he left his girl with Meredith. He was scared to face the fact that he left his daughter with a woman who doesn`t love her or at least can`t show it.

"Derek wake up. She calls me mommy for gods sake. You always referred to me as Addison or Addie or whatever but you never say mom or mommy when you talk to her and neither do I. And Meredith doesn`t want her own daughter to call her mommy. She told me Meredith wouldn`t allow her to sleep in her bed when she`s is scared because of a nightmare."

"I never thought it was so bad. Really never. I didn`t want to see it, oh god I left her with Meredith and I knew from the moment I went to Seattle for her birth that something was terribly wrong. God Addie how could I?" he asked now tears gittering in his eyes. He`s crying.

"We can make it right. We can talk to Meredith and if she doesn`t agree, we`ll claim full custody." Addison said hugging him tighly.

"You`d support me?"
"Of course I would. I love her Derek. All I want is for her to feel safe and loved. She needs love and not just during holidays."

"All right Addison. I get it. I´ll talk to Mer when I bring Emma back to Seattle."
"No, go there alone. Or we all go. Don`t make it any harder on Emma. If she wants to see Meredith she can, but it`s easier when you talk to her alone first. Don`t take her so she`s in the middle of it. She doesn`t need to see the drama and there will be drama. If it`s only because she doesn`t want us to be happy, she`ll never give up custody easily."

"Okay. I`ll go to Seattle after New Years. But I`ll go alone. It`s enough stress."
"Thank you."

"No Addison, thank you. Thanks for finally opening my eyes."

To be continued…

So I hope you liked it and please review and tell me what you think. I`m not sure yet if Meredith will simply give in or if they have to claim full custody for Emma. What do you think? I think it`s really hard to decide so I need you help with this one.

So there`ll be a couple of more chapters I thought about a chapter which involves Carolyn. I once mentioned in one chapter that Henry`s a little more like Addison and I though Carolyn could prefer Tyler and Emma. What do you think? It would cause some more drama.

Then I thought about simply writing a nice happy chapter in which they live their happily ever after and I thought about maybe giving Addison and Derek another daughter or do you think it would be too much?

Thanks for reading.

Love and hugs,

Antonia