Come what may
Chapter 18
Greg wasn't okay; every time he closed his eyes he could see Mycroft as he said "everything." It's been more than a week and his mind is still reeling of the effects of that dinner. This was getting really inconvenient, how is he supposed to move on when he knows if he calls Mycroft right now and say let's have an affair he would be here in record time. The only thing stopping them from being together is he himself. The problem was that he didn't want Mycroft that way; he doesn't want to go behind people's backs. The thing is he loves Mycroft so much, that the idea of causing him harm or grief in any capacity was unbearable, yet he is also strong enough to walk away. Nick showed him, that it was possible to move on, but Nick was also right in saying Greg wanted to be Mycroft's first choice. He was as they say between a rock and a hard place. He haven't told Sherlock and John yet, but he was sure they know, or at least he think they do. So when John invited him over for a beer a few days later he was feeling anxious and a little trepidation. Sherlock would know instantly something was up and he didn't know how to tell them what happened.
It's with long and weary steps he made his way to Baker Street. He didn't even have to knock before John opened the door. Greg looked surprised. John smiled reassuringly.
"Sherlock saw you coming."
"Of course he did."
He followed John up the stairs trying as much as he could not to show how he is decidedly not looking forward to Sherlock extrapolating his business. When he walked in Sherlock was busy experimenting at the table and John indicated that he must follow him into the kitchen.
Once there John immediately took out two beers out of the fridge.
"Ta." Greg opened his can and took a sip.
"How you've been?"
"Okay I guess."
"Classes?"
Greg mood instantly lifted. He loves his job.
"Great. Felt strange in the beginning, now I enjoy every minute and can't wait for the next class."
"That's good. Sherlock is looking forward to see you in action. Me too."
Greg turned sceptical.
"He is?"
"Yes. In his own way of course. Not coming straight out and saying it."
"Aah so the long way filled with compliments hiding in an insult?"
"Exactly." Greg laughed at that and followed John to the sofa, turning the telly on too some old game. Sherlock turned to them.
"How's the boyfriend?" Greg took another swallow of his beer, here it comes and he is so not ready or prepared. Sherlock gave him look before talking.
"Didn't work out." Greg turned to him, his voice filled with bitterness.
"Yeah, thanks to your lovely brother in law." Sherlock smile disappear from his face and he and John shared a look. He got up and walked closer.
"He's not my brother in law." John put his hand on his leg.
"Sherlock." Sherlock glanced at John then back to Greg. Greg thought it quite strange and revealing that he refuses to acknowledge Richard as his brother in law.
"I meant to say what did he do?"
Greg looked at them and then he finished his beer.
"Sherlock. I don't want to talk about it. Please let it go."
"No." John tried to interrupt but Sherlock would have none of it.
"John look at him, he's so close to breaking and he needs to sort this before he packs up and leaves again."
Greg leaned forward holding his head. Hearing Sherlock say that got to him and before he could stop he was telling them everything that had happened that night when they had dinner.
"He told Nick I used to date your brother before he came and steal Mycroft's heart. Mycroft then said he wasn't aware that he got his heart back in order for Richard to steal, and then he made a reference to the viceroy and monarch butterfly."
"Butterflies?" John asked confused. Sherlock explained.
"The viceroy is a butterfly that mimics the monarch butterfly. They look the same. One is toxic the other is not. The non-toxic imitates the toxic one so as to ward of predators. "
"So I'm a predator?" Greg asked.
Sherlock rolled his eyes and Greg was certain he could hear the word 'idiot' in his breathing.
"My brother has become so sentimental since you stepped in to the picture. He meant to say that his heart is really with you but had to adapt and mimic for Richard."
"So Richard's the predator?" John asked and Greg was glad he did, because he wanted to know as well.
"It would appear so." Sherlock said.
"It's very interesting and definitely not boring." John sighed and Greg rolled his eyes.
"I'm so glad that I could once again be a source of entertainment to you."
"Me too."
Be as it may, what Sherlock said made Greg think. This is not what he wants to hear. It's exactly the same thing Nick said, and it still doesn't sit well with him.
John placed his hands on Greg's.
"What happened then?"
With a cracking voice and tears threatening to spill he told them everything, how Mycroft said he'd change everything and how Richard threw the ring and marriage in his face in front of every one.
"The bastard." John sputtered out. Sherlock stood up and walked towards the window.
It was quiet and Greg had no idea what to do or say. Sherlock was right on one thing, this need to end.
"I should leave." He muttered and both turned to him.
"You can't you just got here and we have to order dinner."
"You're not running away again Lestrade." Both said at the same time. Greg watched as they turned to each other then back at him.
"You meant leaving tonight right; you're not leaving London again are you?" John leaned forward in the chair.
"I don't know John, I'm tired of this, when you think about it, there's not much here for me, and I'm done being third or fifth wheel, standing on the sidewalk watching other people being happy. You know the year I was gone I learned to think of me, for once and to do what's best for me. Regardless of staying or going, I'm going to what I want. Besides you don't really need me, it's not like I can give you cases, plus if I do get a transfer you'll know where I'll be."
"Transfer?" John repeated while Sherlock turned back to them.
"You're asking for a transfer? Where to?" Greg shrugged.
"Wherever I can get one, closest might be Birmingham and even Manchester."
"You can't leave again. You're hardly back." Greg looked at Sherlock thinking about how he hugged him when he appeared on their doorstep, a few months back. They have come a long way although he'll never admit it, they are close. This was messed up, and he couldn't find a way for it to get better, in all honesty.
"Sherlock. There's not anything keeping me here. Believe it or not, the year I was away, I was happy."
"What about us?" John asked. Greg looked at him.
"With all due respect John, you're happiness doesn't rely on me and my happiness does not rely on you." John didn't reply after that. After all he was right. It was quiet, Sherlock kept staring at Greg, something on his mind. Greg leaned forward.
'What is it Sherlock?"
"What about Mycroft?"
"What about him?"
"You love him, and he loves you."
"Sherlock, what do you want me to do? He is married and from my understanding he can't divorce him or wont. Either way it doesn't matter."
"it does. Cant means he can't; won't mean he doesn't want to, and he wants you, he realise his mistake months ago."
"So tell me, why he can't divorce him. In Scotland he made the excuse of their social standing and the scandal it will cause."
"Richard is involved in an operation with Mycroft, a very important one."
"There is always going to be an operation or something, are you suggesting I put my life on hold and wait like some star struck lover in a world war movie?"
"No. I don't, I just..." Here struggled to finish his sentence unsure of what he actually wants to say. Greg was so proud of Sherlock in that moment, he has come so far and he tries to express his care and even though he struggles, he still care.
"Sherlock, I understand what you're trying to say, I really do. My feelings for Mycroft won't change but unless he does something major to tip the scales in his favour; I'm going to run my life, my way. No more backing down or settle for less."
Greg stayed for dinner and left thereafter. He was in a confused state as he walked home. He did so well and two conversations and some interactions with Mycroft put him right back where he was. The fact was, he was done. He lost a good thing with Nick, and he knows he'll move on, he can. He was just conflicted and felt as though he was in a loop. "Round and round it goes, where it end, nobody knows." He whispered as he walked into the night.