With each wailing siren that passed through her ears, her heart jumped.
Just a minute more.
The situation called for confidence– pride- but it was difficult not to be pessimistic. It didn't feel like the end. Ethan may be caught, sure, but there were still wounds that needed healing. Subjects to be discussed. Secrets to be revealed from both of the girls. Max knew Chloe had secrets, and Chloe… she may not have known the white lies Max had been telling her every now and then, but right now, as Max watched her this close, so close she could see a ligament in her hand moving, she knew how Ethan had ripped open an unhealed scar too quickly and too forcefully. It was constant, the pulsing and rhythmic blood, spreading, flowing to her head, heating up her body. She felt so incredible alive, but so painstakingly scarred when she looked at Chloe. She was presenting her inner anger outwards, towards Ethan. It was all guilt in the center, branching out into annoyance, fear, and sadness.
Nobody was saying anything. Ethan was huffing; Chloe held her breath, Max was all caught up in her thoughts of trepidation. The gun aimed at Ethan began wavering slightly; Chloe must have gotten tired in her arms. All so unreal and all too recognizable.
I need to say something.
Her mouth opened, her throat shut close.
Chloe needs you to bring her up right now.
Max took a quick glance at Ethan, specifically his shaking right hand. He was tensing too much, the pain from the shot probably really setting in. His fingers periodically bend downwards and every now and then, he lowered his head, as if he was trying to use his movement tricks again.
Max quietly looked down and took a few breaths, trying to pull her lips in an upwards arc. As soon as she lifted her head again, she took a step closer to her friend.
"That was awesome, Chloe!" She kept presenting her smile.
"You showed him who's boss" Max felt the cringe tickling her neck, but she aimed for a positive outcome.
Chloe kept her stare and her stone-cold look, barely reacting to Max's words. Not even a glance in her direction. She looked all too tall, her chin lifted high and her teeth being locked together. Her exterior was unbreakable, coated in a cold tension. Untouchable and advantageous. It was as if Max was somehow beneath her, looking up at her dead-eyed friend.
"When the police get here, it's over. We can finally chill again" Max tried her luck once more.
Fuck.
It was all too obvious how it would fail; it was as if Chloe's very face was telling her to keep quiet.
Even weirder was the fact that this had been the first time, in a long while, that Max had felt she actually had to try hard to speak with Chloe. She had to consider and then force out words in an uncomfortable way and when the result wasn't satisfactory, it could be felt with an annoying prickle. All she could do now was to wonder what happened between the moment when Chloe stood right behind her, trusting her completely to protect her. Working together to execute a plan, through planned, although at occasions, improvised signals and signs, which required a close connection for the other partner to understand. It made her look at Ethan again, his fingers were no longer bend and it looked like he was holding his breath with an empty stare in his eyes. Amidst the ongoing sounds of yelling from the people from the mall and the sirens wailing, a new sound suddenly presented itself. It was first a screeching noise, like rubber against pavement, which quickly turned into the coughing sounds of an engine. Max realized one crucial mistake when she turned her head to look at the source. Along the line, between all the precautions and distractions, they had forgotten to pay attention to Ethan's brother– Nicholas. As she saw the car speeding against them, with an intense looking, brown-haired man behind the wheel, charging towards them, she knew that Ethan's movements with his hands were not meant for Max and Chloe. It was meant for Nicholas. Chloe had already turned her head as well, and the only danger was not just the car only about 20 feet away from them, but the possibility of an explosion on said car. It was completely by instinct when Chloe pressed her right leg down onto the ground, to then leap out of the way with awkward movements. Only when Max saw this did her body respond, but it reacted too quickly for her body to properly process and all that mattered was to get out of the way, making her stumble slightly, forcing her to toe-jump out of the way with a heavy grunt. When she landed stiffly on the pavement, she felt the thrust pass through her chest, unsure if the car had hit her or not. Chloe had stuck her body to the wall beside her, avoiding the car by several feet as it kept on going. She forced out a hiss as she saw Ethan had taken advantage of the situation and had begun running towards the backside of the mall, small amounts of blood being caught in the wind resistance. Chloe lifted up her right hand and aimlessly pulled the trigger of the gun, somehow hoping a bullet would be shot and hit him, but it was pointless. She was just about to run after him, when she heard Max make sounds of pain, lying with the front of her body down on the ground. The car had stopped around ten feet in front of them and the fear of it exploding was still relevant, so making a quick decision in her mind, she decided to aid her friend.
"Max, are you okay?!" She yelled loudly while running towards her while hearing Ethan's footsteps get further away.
"Chloe!" Max instinctively responded while pushing her upper body up from the ground.
"I- I'm alright" She could barely process what had happened and could hardly get a feel of her body, but she had fortunately jumped away in time, avoiding the car. Chloe wasted no time as she grabbed Max by her left arm and began pulling her up. "We have to get out of here!" Chloe demanded while putting the gun in her front pocket.
"What about Ethan?" With Chloe's help, Max managed to get on her feet quick as she placed her hand on Chloe's arm who was biting her teeth together, visibly stressed.
"We don't have time! We have to get to my car before the police arrive!" As soon as Chloe said this, Max shut her eyes open and looked at her confused.
"What?" Max questioned with a heavy breath, not understanding Chloe's trail of thought.
"Now, Max!" Her tone was hard and demanding, gently pulling Max in her arm, prompting her to start moving.
In annoyance, Max ripped herself free from Chloe's grip and smacked her hand away. "What the fuck are you talking about?! We need to tell them what happened so they can arrest him!" Max was surprised by her actions, but her adrenaline had taken over and felt angry by Chloe's forceful request.
Chloe responded by pushing Max's back, nearly making her stumble forward as she began raising her voice. "Just GO!" She yelled with such an authority her voice, that Max had no choice but to simply flip her head to her side in anger before she began running towards the parking lot with Chloe following closely.
She wanted to yell something back, she wanted Chloe to clarify why they should escape, now of all times, but she must have known something that Max didn't, which hardly helped with her anger as she spotted the worn-out green car they had arrived in.
"Give me the keys!" Chloe commanded while running just behind Max, her hair being pushed back, exposing her dramatic face clearly.
Max decided not to argue and began digging around in her pockets without slowing down as she felt the metal touch her fingers, making her pinch the key chain the car keys were locked into and slowed down slightly so she could throw them to Chloe. As Max looked back up, a police car could be seen arriving on the road to their left. The wailing became obnoxious, distracting her from her thoughts as she ran around the car and opened the door to the passage seat, Chloe quickly getting in the driver's seat. Neither of them putting their seat belts on and Chloe anxiously fiddling with the keys, trying to get them into the ignition.
When the car finally started, Max held off her desire to question Chloe further and remained silent instead, trying to get into a steady pace of breathing. She looked back, trying to see if she could see Ethan's brother who was seemingly still sitting in the car at the spot they were standing on just seconds ago. It all seemed unreal, unnecessarily intense and frightening. As Chloe began backing up, Max felt her ears itching, making her rub the side of her face.
"This is fucked," she whispered mostly to herself when Chloe had put the car in second gear, speeding up and driving through the exit of the parking lot. An acute desire to swing the door open and just jump out presented itself, as if she was stuck in a car with a psycho but she quickly regained her reasoning, holding her breath when they passed the police car, driving quickly past them. A breath she held until they were far enough away for Chloe to finally blink and loosen her limbs.
"Trust me, Max" Chloe began speaking without wavering.
"We would be in a shit-load of trouble if we were at the scene when the police arrived. Especially since Ethan managed to escape"
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! Max's anger was still burningly present, wrapped in confusion and disappointment.
"This is hardly any better! I feel like we're fucking fugitives now" With so many memories of avoiding the police in the past, it finally felt it would be the right time to have them involved.
"Our lives are in danger, Chloe. We could tell the police what had happened and help the catch the guy that could very well have killed us" Max sat back in the seat and ran her nails along her thigh.
"It wouldn't wor–"
"Now Ethan escaped and we're back at square one because, for some godforsaken reason, you wanted to run away from the only opportunity to end this we had" Max cut off Chloe, visibly displeasing her.
"Shut up" She responded in a somewhat hostile way but kept her voice low.
"I was the one with the gun, in front of a pool of blood. We were standing only feet away from a car that had exploded" Chloe forcefully changed gear to fourth while giving a resume of what happened.
"We're not fucking innocent, Max. Just because you know what happened, doesn't diminish the fact that we shot a guy and when Ethan escaped, we were the ones standing outside of the mall. We have no proof that we were the victims, when we could might as well have been to ones that started it all, and for some funny-ass reason, I wouldn't be surprised if Ethan had proof that would make the police think we were actually the ones behind it all" Chloe took a quick and loud breath, letting Max know that she intended to continue.
"Instead of letting them arrest us or whatever, we wait and see if they catch Ethan's brother, see what kind of information we can find on him, link it to Ethan himself, then we call the police and without placing ourselves in the story, we inform them of what we know. Hell, if they catch Nicholas, they're bound to question Ethan anyway" Chloe finished explaining the circumstances and sharing her plan.
Even though it seemed prudent and for some reason, the safest bet as well, a lingering annoyance still prickled Max across her back by the fact they had been so close to ending it all.
However, when she remembered why she wanted it all to end, her thoughts took a different turn. The desirable end would be the stepping stone of a new start. A start with Chloe and her, finally being alive for only each other and themselves, finally loving life again to full extent. Opened by revelation, driven by passion, and secured by love. Wanting only a fragile piece of heaven that shivered in dark times, but unbreakable in the light.
"Alright, but… Chloe, I ehh–" Lifting her hand and awkwardly but caringly placing it on Chloe's leg, Max felt the sickly air around them, as if they were mad at each other for chasing the same dream but staring at different paths.
"I want to understand what's hanging above you that makes you feel so shitty. Like, specifically" Hoping that the question wasn't self-explanatory, she added the last part and looked her friend over.
"Yeah, the core of everyone. Wanting shit handed to them" Chloe had barely acknowledged Max's hand on her legs. Matter of fact; it seemed to vex her, further manifested by her snarly tone.
Downhearted by the response, Max removed her hand and retreated her body a little away from her.
"Well, what do you want then?"
Chloe looked considerate for a moment, her pupils widening.
"You know what I want? Honestly?" It was if something finally opened but in an ominous way. A balloon popping.
"I want to love life, I want to love you, I want to have sex with you, I want to let everything just snap and lose control" She spoke quickly, her eyes staring at nothing, her mouth forming the words with exasperation as Max watched her hands starting to become uncertain of themselves, switching around on the steering wheel.
"I want to watch every chain I have break and finally go insane"
The shaky breath she let out, revealed her body's state of fear. All the visible signs of an anxiety attack were presented, but rather than closing herself off as she used to, Chloe gave in to every defeatist feeling passing through her mind and body.
"That's what I want because I am fucking tired of fighting" Her state frightened Max, unsure how to handle the situation.
"I'm tired of trying to be happy"
Deciding to stay still, Max focused on her words, trying to come up with a heartfelt response of some kind, but most of all, she watched her shifting eyes, trying to make sure she wouldn't suddenly lose control of her body.
"Yes, I am having some sort of mental attack and I'm sorry that I am treating you like this, but right now, I don't want to act rationally and say the right things" Chloe, showing she was self-aware, sighed at the end of the sentence and blinked a few times, stretching her neck as well.
"Above everything else, though, I want a drink"
It took a while for Max to process everything as she took her words literally and tried to figure out what was currently feasible. It was hard seeing Chloe always on the edge and her last and most wanted request seemed doable.
"We can drop by the shop and get something," Max said it carefully as if wanting to pet a bear with a stick.
When Chloe stayed silent in thought, it prompted her to continue.
"We can get some grenadine, vodka, triple sec, and orange juice, so we can make some Orange Crushes" Max knew this would peak Chloe's interest as she recalled the last time they were mixing drinks. It was a recipe Chloe had remembered from her 18th birthday and apparently, she loved it even though it tasted like drinking a watermelon with rust in it according to Max's descriptive words from that time after she had already drunk two.
"There's a bar like half a mile from here," Chloe still sounded tense, but her eyes had stopped frantically moving around.
"I'll just stop there" Although, now she had begun tapping her left heel with a twitchy pace as she often did when she was nervous.
Max silently frowned upon the idea, rarely having a good time in a bar, and considering the recent events that were still very much relevant; getting home to plan a strategy as soon as possible could be of importance. However, not wanting Chloe to feel worse, she nodded confidently.
"When you get home, just tell gramps that I'm… well fuck, just tell him I'm in a bar somewhere" Chloe's words made Max quietly shift in her seat as she realized that she implied that she wanted to go to the bar alone. Max kept quiet, considering to either say something mildly funny or just to stay quiet. Options that soon became irrelevant though, as to the truth of Chloe's words, the bar had been pretty close, given that she could already see the white block letters on a plate above a building spelling out "Red Feather Lounge" next to a logo of what was, quite creatively, a red feather.
Chloe gazed onto Max, sighed deeply when she looked away. Some of her black nail polish being scratched off when she grabbed the door handle and stepped out of the car. It was still somewhat early in the day, the sun shining down on them in a less than glamorous way, but the self-proclaimed lounge had still decided it would be a good time to be open, for reasons Max couldn't quite fathom. Instead, she lazily got out of the car as well so she could shift seats given that she had no other choice than what Chloe had given her, and drive home alone.
As she stepped around the car, she considered the exchange of words about to come, or at least the parting sentence, but looking down at the ground she saw Chloe's black shoes in front of her and was forced to stop rather abruptly, almost walking into her friend. She was met with an apologetic face looking a little off of her eyes.
"Listen, Max," she began with a vacillating voice.
"I know that you're probably annoyed with me, and I am sorry for just bailing… like, before and now, but," a flicker of hesitation made Chloe pause and Max look away as to not pressure her friend to doubt her words.
"If we just go straight home, we'll end up talking about what happened, and it's not…" the exact same thing repeated itself.
"I just need a little time to go over it in my own head, rather than in words. I'm still totally up for fighting evil and all that everyday hero shit, but I'm so stressed out that I'd probably end up saying something that I would regret, hell, I already have, so I think it would be good if I could just… you know, if I could… think or…" the frequent pauses and uncertainty prompted Max to take over.
"I get it. It was some heavy shit, and it's a good idea to process it before we move on" she made it short, trying to wrap Chloe's words into a sentence, making her know she heard her subtle request.
She saw how delicately Max pulled it off and couldn't help but to hide a smirk as she nodded twice. "Thanks, Max, I eh-" despite their close distance, Chloe took a small step closer and shifted her feet slightly.
"I will call you soon, just to let you know I'm alright" She said this in order to push herself the final inch closer and gave Max a second to prepare herself as she rotated her head ever so slightly, giving Max a soft and quick kiss on her lips, but however quick it may have been, it hit Max like a truck. As if she had been touching the water with her toes for hours now, and she could finally feel it beginning to rise.
She didn't say goodbye. She just waved her right hand as she walked away. She looked like a mess, but she needed this. Not just the alcoholic beverages, but also the time. It passes slowly, but it's only when you close your eyes for a long time and then open them, that you notice the tide has risen. Max hastily went into the driver seat of the car, feeling the need to be surrounded by something, as to not drift away in the water she could sense on her knees. It was always changing. The person in the water, the girl in the pit. They were never in more distress than manageable at the same time, because they knew if one of them were drowning, the other was there, had to be there, to go in and save them. It shifts. The person to freak out and the person that did the comfort. Max played back her talk with Chloe, seeing how Chloe's yells were not directed at her. More like the world. Hell, at once it even looked like she was yelling at heaven for not weeping for her. The more Max thought about it, the more she realized how melodramatic she was making it. Either that or she just needed to distract herself. Because the water was no longer at her knees. It had worked its way up to her neck.
And Chloe wasn't there to grab her hand.
She felt clingy.
I don't need Chloe being here every single second. She thought, finally putting the key into the ignition.
I am a strong independent woman. She amused herself.
I am strong. The car started, her heart reacting.
I won't break. The water had reached her face. It annoyed her eyes. It wasn't just about Chloe, and she knew it. The weight could finally be felt and it took more strength than usual to move her right arm and change gears.
She blinked. No tears.
The car moved forward, her hands tightening around the steering wheel.
She didn't dare to blink again.