21

When they were through at the hospital Bernadette drove the girls back to Penny's apartment building. Raj, as he had all night, drove the boys. Everyone reconvened at Penny's and Nora's apartment.

"Folks, there's still food here if anyone wants a snack." Penny said pointing at the spread they'd set out earlier."

Bernadette asked "What now?"

Sheldon, reprising his role as group spokesman, began "As we have been told by Dr. Stephanie that it is inadvisable for Nora to make major decisions as yet, we will not do anything regarding Amy Farrah Fowler at this time. However, I will retain an attorney for her so we may later discuss legal options. To my mind Amy Farrah Fowler came here intending to assault someone. That should not be allowed to pass."

"Thank you, Sheldon." Penny and Nora said concurrently.

"Now, as Nora requires rest, I would advise that you all soon return to your homes. Alex, are you able to drive with your broken hand?"

"I'm pretty sure I'll be okay. I'll be at work tomorrow."

"You will not. I prefer that you take a couple of days. And there is another task that I prefer you do, if you are amenable."

"What's that, Sheldon?"

"As I have work I must complete and an attorney to retain, and Penny must continue her preparations for her upcoming auditions, I would appreciate it if you would spend your mornings with Nora for the next few days, if you do not mind. She should not be left alone in the event Amy Farrah Fowler did damage to her that has not yet become evident."

Both Alex and Nora smiled.

"I'd be happy to do that for you Sheldon."

"I want you all to be assured that my Relationship Agreement with Amy Farrah Fowler will be terminated. Of that there is no doubt, especially after her actions this evening. Penny has advised me that this task is one best done in person and I respect her expertise in this area. In order to be certain that I am in no way dissuaded from accomplishing this task Penny will accompany me this Thursday, which is when I intend to take care of it. I would very much appreciate it if none of you were to share this information with Amy Farrah Fowler or Leonard Hofstadter."

"You can depend on us, buddy." Howard responded.

"Stuart, are you sure you're okay with not speaking to Amy?"

"We went out once a while back and I don't much like the look on her face when she comes into the store, like what I do is corrupt children or something. So I'm fine not saying anything to her."

"Stuart, I believe that is more about me. She does not respect comic books and graphic literature as an art form or as something I enjoy. She believes they are beneath her and intended for juvenile, immature minds and she has told me as much. There is another, more sensitive matter. Penny, Nora is it all right with you if I allude to our activities?"

"Sheldon, these are our friends. I trust them."

"If it's okay with Penny, it's okay with me."

"Alright. Please do not be overwhelmed by the salacious nature of what I am about to impart to you. I have determined that I no longer wish to share a residence with Leonard Hofstadter. His decision to expose an embarrassing episode in Penny's past to strangers in an effort to merely boost his own ego was beyond the pale. His inability to accept that what he did was wrong just further points out his selfish nature. Since just asking him to depart would not serve our need for a just resolution of this particular situation we have devised a plot for, well, vengeance. Initially we wished throw Leonard off-balance and confuse him. Pursuant to that Penny, Nora and I have led Leonard to believe that the three of us, oh I'm sorry but I must use this term, fucked each other on Friday night. We have done this via a series of photographs that were temporarily available for Leonard to see on my screen saver and that he has already seen. And that no one will ever see again. This is but a part of our plan."

"Seems like a pretty convoluted but incredibly hot plan, Sheldon."

"Howie!"

"In any case, I believe that it is working. However, there is a final step and it will involve you all being present at CALTech on Friday morning. I cannot tell you any more than that. I will have specific assignments for each of you who wish to assist us. Please do not share this information outside of this group. However, snide comments around Leonard concerning our ménage a trios would be encouraged. Howard, may I depend upon you for that?"

"Absolutely!"

"Penny and Nora, have I appropriately shared our information?"

"You have, Moonpie, but here's the thing. The three of us really do care for each other or we never would have done this. But except for Leonard we didn't do this to hurt anyone or chase anyone away. Sheldon and I determined, because of the lousy treatment we've received from Leonard and Amy that we want them out of our lives permanently. Because Sheldon is an honorable person he was going to let Amy break up with him. We already know that her scent-spreading escapades violated their Relationship Agreement. So that was really over before anything she did tonight. As for Leonard, unfortunately being an asshole is not a violation of Sheldon and Leonard's Roommate Agreement. And he refuses to accept that our relationship has ended permanently, despite my having told him that repeatedly. As long as he lives across the hall he will assume he has a chance with me. And he'll make Sheldon's life unbearable. So we are going to make it so that there is no way Leonard wants to keep living across the hall. We decided that the best way to do that was to show him that I was unavailable to him because I was not only with Nora, but also Sheldon, his supposed best friend. Is what we did a little bit evil? Maybe. Am I sorry? Not a fucking bit. Anybody have any problems?

"Only with never being able to see the photos. Those must have been hot!"

"Howie!"

"Okay. Now everybody go home. In theory we'll be having Thai food here tomorrow night but that really depends on how Nora's doing so I'll let you know."

Howard, Bernadette, Raj and Stuart filed out. Alex hung back.

"Um, is it okay if I speak to Nora in private for a minute."

"Sure, use my bedroom, I mean don't use my bedroom, I mean, speak in my bedroom. Crap."

"Penny, sweetie, don't tie yourself up in knots. We're not going to fuck in your bedroom. At least not now."

"Nora!"

"Sorry, Alex. Sorry, Penny. I actually don't know if we're going to fuck in your bedroom right now. It's up to Alex."

"Nora!"

"I better stop talking. Going to the bedroom now."

After the door to Penny's bedroom closed Penny looked at Sheldon.

"I can't believe how cute those two are."

"They do seem to have hit it off."

"Thank you for making sure they're together for the next few days."

"I considered the available options and it was the one that made the most sense. The possibility the Alex and Nora would bond was coincidental."

"C'mon, Sheldon. You saw the sparks on Friday."

"I did. And at the hospital tonight. I am very happy for them. However, it does raise an interesting question."

"What's that?"

"What will the sleeping arrangements be tonight?"

Penny's Bedroom

Nora and Alex went into Penny's bedroom and sat on the bed. For a couple of minutes they just looked into each other's eyes. Alex couldn't stand it anymore so she started.

"So, um, hi."

"Hi."

"Hi"

"So the doctor said I shouldn't make any big decisions in case Amy broke my head or something."

"Is this a big decision?"

"Could be."

"I know."

"I think maybe I have an idea."

"What your idea."

"I kinda made a decision on Friday so it probably doesn't count."

"What did you decide?"

"I decided that I really, really wanted to kiss you."

"I'm okay with that."

Next: More Sheldon & Penny and Alex & Nora