How and Why

Chapter 21:Today

Disclaimer: Not mine. Except for characters with aliases. I like confusing people.

A/N: So, how are you guys. It's been awhile, but my inspiration's a little dry lately. I did appreciate all the reviews I got after I flipped out last chapter, but I don't think I should really have to flip out like that to get reviews. Anyways. I hope you all enjoy and continue to review. This one was longer! =) I'd like to thank my anonymous reviewers since I couldn't email you back... amanda and bigbru39. And all the support from everyone, of course. This story is only endangered at the moment by random lacks of inspiration. Thanks to all. R&R.

Shibi paced outside the door as Sayuri tried to coax her daughter into slumber for the first time since her almost wedding nearly two days ago.

I'll kill that boy. How dare he do this to such a proud clan tradition? Stand up there and make that poor girl look like a fool. He better hope that I never find him!

He listened to Sakura yell something desperate and sorrowful at her mother. Telling her to stop trying to let Naruto come and visit because she was 'in no mood to deal with him', as she so kindly put it.

"He would do you some good Sakura," Her mother reasoned. "You just need to relax and forget about them both for a little while. They're both the same and dwelling won't do you any good."

It doesn't seem like a bad idea. Clearly that Uzumaki boy is made of energy. Maybe he could talk Sakura out of this.

"He's NOT Sasuke! Nothing like Sasuke! Shino would never..." Sakura's sentence bit off in a shaky wail. All Shibi could hear was a silent whimpering followed by soothing tones. Mothers were so calm and peaceful at such terrible moments.

"Shh... Alright. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. No. Shino's not Sasuke. Right now he doesn't look so good,either. But, you're right, he'll never compare. Let me go make you some more cocoa. Maybe something to eat when you feel like it. It'll all be okay soon, Sakura. I promise. I love you, honey."

Sayuri stepped out of the room and closed the door gently behind her. Shibi's pacing stopped.

"Hello, Shibi. Are you deaf yet?" Sayuri smiled wearily.

"Are you positive that she'll be okay? She seems to be fairly distraught. I'm not entirely sure that..."

"It's fine, Shibi. She'll live. She's already tried tricking me into letting her go back to work twice today. If she's bright enough to do that, she wont stay down for long."

"But going back to work like that," Shibi shuddered at the thought, "is insane."

"She has to keep herself busy. That's the way she's always been. I probably won't let her work until Wednesday or Thursday."

"Only four days?"

"She'll be happier at work. Tsunade will be their make sure she can't pull any overtime and that she comes home early."

"You probably know best." Shibi said somewhat skeptically.

"Years of practice. Girls are much more maintenance than boys. Though you could do me one little favor. Just to help out a bit, rather than pacing in front of her door torturing yourself with her crying."

"I plan on thoroughly destroying my son as soon as the Kikaichū have verification on his location. Don't worry. This matter will be settled as soon as he's found." Shibi reported seriously.

"I don't mean anything so violent. You don't even have to kill him. I'd actually prefer you not until we get a complete story."

"How are you so calm? She must be driving you insane by now."

"She's going back to work in four days." Sayuri joked. "Really, I've had worse. Did you ever have the misfortune of hearing about Sasuke."

"Not really. He certainly didn't leave her on her wedding day."

"Nope. He didn't. He tore her to shreds. Told her she was stupid. She'd never amount to anything. She was a useless medic if he ever got so much as a scratch. She was worthless. The fact that she was always trying to make him happy made her clingy. He'd spread rumors about how slutty she always acted and how mean she was to her patients. He was a brutal, cold, and calculating. I hated him," Sayuri concluded. Then with a narrowing of her eyes she continued, "Still do, actually." She added viciously.

"Why? She's so smart. She's such a good girl. She was with Shino for such a long time. She was so understanding of him, that ungrateful little brat. How could she tolerate someone that evil?" He asked confused.

"She's smart. And a good girl. And so, so understanding. She always had a way of being compassionate to the people kicking her. How dare she leave him with an injury? How dare she not know how to help him heal completely? And have the nerve to call and check on him to see if he was better after the missions. When he was already mad at her?" Sayuri ranted on sarcastically. "Clingy. If she tried to date anyone else like that Sai boy a few years ago, she was a slut. A whore. And he made sure everyone who was anyone knew that. Sai was strange, but not completely terrible. He was also broken up with and gone within a week."

"He didn't try to stay with her."

"She wouldn't let him. Sai wasn't Sasuke. He didn't cut it. After, I think it was less than a month, she apologized to Sasuke for making him feel so bad and then beg him to take her back. Sasuke would tell her he loved her and say sorry. And that was it. She never dated anyone else."

"She'd listen to him above everything you told her." Shibi said matter of factly.

"Of course she would. Just like always. It went on and on like that for years."

"That's sort of..."

"Suck-ish." Sayuri finished for him.

"Not quite the word I was going for, but yes. At least now I know why you liked my arrogant son so much."

"I'm sure there's some explanation. I'm not willing to give up on something that was going so well so easily. I just need that one little favor from you."

"What's that?"

"You know she won't listen to what Naruto or I have to say. As far as she's concerned I should mind my own business. And Naruto... well, she'd rather have him happy with the Kazekage in Suna."

"She'd never be able to get on without Naruto. He and that Yamanaka girl are some of her closest friends."

"Which is why she'd make Naruto move out of Konoha? To go be where he wants to be. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd go talk to her about this?" She asked with a sly glance in his direction.

"I don't think that would be very conductive to the problem." He answered calmly, steeling the emotion from his face. "Many of my mannerisms were ironically reflected in my son. I couldn't help her."

"I think it might though. You're so relaxed. And confident. I think you really might be able to help her. You don't owe us anything, but I'd appreciate it if you'd just try. I know she wants to talk to you!" Sayuri added convincingly.

"How so?" He mused.

"Because she thinks you don't really like her anymore. She's very insecure."

"And you want me to fix that. How? I have no idea what to tell her. That girl seems to be anything but insecure."

"After her wedding crashed so violently. You won't have to say or do anything. Just listen to her." Sayuri begged.

"Fine! Just stop." He snapped. "Should I right now?"

"Yeah! Now is perfect. I'll just go cook something."

"Fine." Sayuri scurried off to cook presumably. Shibi took a deep breath and opened the door to Sakura's room. She was sitting in the dark room with a cup of cold hot-chocolate in her hands staring at the wall with pain in her eyes and tears in her voice.

"Mom, I know what you're trying to do. For the final time! I'm. Not. Tired." She turned angrily. Oh! Sorry Shibi." She muttered. "I thought..." she started, staring down at the bed.

"I know. She's certainly persistent. I was wondering if you'd like to talk?"

"Oh god." She looked at him full on in the face. Her eyes were rimmed red, but at the moment she looked closer to shock than tears. "I can't believe she forced you to come in here. I'm so sorry. You can leave Shibi. It's fine. She's so out of line, making you do this."

"I wanted to see you!" He blurted out. Whoops.

Sakura's eyes started to water dangerously. "Shino talks just like you, you know. I'd start pressuring him with things he didn't have to do for me and he'd just blurt out his feelings, good or bad. You're both so similar."

"I'm sorry. I knew this would be too painful for you. Your mother did insist, but I didn't think it was a good idea if you saw me. Shino and I look a lot alike, as well."

She tilted her head, studying him. "I suppose you do. I'm sorry my mother forced you. I guess she's probably worried."

"I really don't feel forced." He insisted stubbornly. "If you want me to leave though, I will. I understand that you probably don't really want me here right now."

"No! I mean, I do. I wanted to talk to you a lot. You were going to be my family, after all. I'm... I mean, I was okay with that. I thought we got along well enough, anyway."

Shibi came to the startled realization that Sayuri was right. Sakura was afraid of his rejection so soon after Shino's. "I am." He said strongly. "If you want me to be around."

"Am what? You mean, my family." He stared forward stoically in an affirmative manner. Which means, basically, that he didn't deny it vehemently. She took a deep, shaky "Now you don't have to try to make me feel better. I'm really resilient. I'm going to be okay."

"Well, that's just too damn bad." He retorted. "Because I'm here, at this point, whether you like it or not. So just get over your resilience. Which, by the way, I'm not so sure you have. You're strong, no doubt, but far to gentle for what you need right now."

Then he realized himself, 'just as Shino would have' she thought, and looked down in embarrassment. 'He compares this to Sasuke too, no doubt.

"Okay. Fine, Shibi. You're here. What do you want with me?" She asked bitterly at the thought of Sasuke and Shino having similarities.

"This is where I don't know so much. I'm not a good talker, but you don't seem to have so much you want to share right now. So I'm stuck. What should discuss?"

"Well, I'd like to ask you some stuff. Since if you leave in under an hour, mom will destroy your existence. "

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. You didn't get the health waiver with the sign-up sheet, did you?" She joked.

He let his lip quirk up. "I'll have to grab one on the way out. Ask away, then. I've got plenty of time today."

She looked at him seriously."Answer me this truthfully. I want to know what you're really thinking right now. Okay?"

"Sure." He promised naturally.

"You're obviously mad at him. Do you believe he did this on purpose?"

"That's a loaded question if I've ever heard one." He remarked as he immediately cursed his promise to this girl.

"Want to start with something easier? What's your favorite color? Food? Drink? And Place? How are those questions?"

"Almost too simple to have answers and still be fair. Black, *tempura, *seishu, My Couch. Your turn."

"Well, let me think. Green, *sashimi, I don't like sake, and nearly any place outside."

"Wow, you're a happy kid."

"Answer my other question now, please. I assumed you would after we got through the formalities of this chat."

"Right. Well, it's not that I believe the worst of my son all the time. I do, at some times, know for a fact that he would never do something like this to you, because he... he's been that way for a while if he enjoys someone's company." He said carefully, avoiding the term 'loves'. "On the other hand, I also know he's withdrawn and shy and so damn emotionally stunted. It's all too easy to imagine him running off because he can't deal with the social strain of being around people. His social immune system just thinks Naruto is a damn bad virus and I know sometimes he can't take it."

She giggled at the joke stiffly. "You didn't answer me though. Did he do this on purpose?"

"I can't see any other logical explanation. And that's usually that's my final word on any matter. My logic." He hesitated. "I want to tell you my son's an asshole. Completely unfeeling. He would do what he did on purpose, not because he didn't give a damn if it caused you pain, but because he set out to cause you pain. I want you to hate him and move on with your life. Forget he existed, because in the long run, I think you'd do better if you didn't dwell on the hope that he may have... loved you. That was your downfall with that Uchiha brat at the end of every day. He may still have loved you, right."

"Exactly," She was still unsure of what he'd told her as she mulled it over carefully in her mind, "but you don't believe your logic today?"

"I can't say I do. I have a annoying feeling in the back of my mind, no matter how hard I focus on my logic, that he would never do this to you. I can't believe it." Sakura couldn't see his emotion behind the Shibi's black tinted glasses, but the pain faintly audible in his voice. "I'm sorry, though. I don't want you to have that hope, but I promised foolishly to give it to you anyway."

"I forgive you. A few more. Please."

"No promises on the answers this time, Sakura. If I don't think you need to know, I will not tell you this time. I wasn't ready for that first one, but this time I am."

"Fair point. Answer of your own accord. Where do you think he went?" She paused. "If he left because he wanted to, that is?" She added tearfully.

"I don't know where he'd go if he wanted to leave. When he was young and he ran away because of his lessons, he'd always come back home within the day." He strained to smile at her teary face. "Clearly he's not back yet."

"What will happen to him? If he comes back too late?"

Shibi's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, 'what will happen?' Are you really worrying about his place in the clan? As leader of the Aburames?"

"I was just wondering. An errant thought." She shrunk under his unseeing gaze.

"He'd be removed from the clan completely if he left on purpose to avoid marriage by clan law. One of his cousins would talk over as leader. Even if he didn't mean to, he still can't be gone more than two or three weeks before my predecessor is named. He'd have to come back soon. Why would you wonder about something like that?"

"Just curious." She mumbled dejectedly. "Just one more then. After this last one, I promise I won't ask anything else."

"Okay. Just watch your curiosity. You shouldn't worry yourself about things like what would happen to him."

"I'll try. This one needs to be as honest as you can be as well, maybe more so than last time. Look at me directly so I'll be able to tell." He did as instructed and even removed his glasses to 'look directly' as she wanted him to. Her eyes filled with tears that began to trickle down her face, but she met his stoney gaze fearlessly and unwavering.

"Did he..." She paused. Shibi noticed the 'he'. They'd been avoiding Shino's name during the entire conversation. "Did Shino ever actually love me at all? I have to know if he did. Or didn't.I will never stop dwelling on it, if I don't know this for a fact. And you can tell me truthfully if he did. Even if Shino only did a little, you would know."

"I don't know..." She opened her mouth to protest.

"Wait a minute." He said, killing her disagreement as he thought seriously about his response.

"I won't be able to tell you what you're really asking me and I'm sorry. I don't know if Shino loved you two days ago, when you were about to marry him and he left you." She closed her eyes tightly and let out a small whimper at his harsh words. Everyone else had been careful to avoid the harshness of the pain she felt around her. None of that sympathy was present, now that she had asked for the truth.

As he began again, she looked forward at him. "I don't know that. What I do know, without any doubt, is that Shino was happiest with you. And that for most of these past few months, you were all that filled his mind every second of every day. He loved you more than anything else in the world, Sakura. He valued you above himself. You were the only one he ever thought of that way. Shino really and truly did love you."

She rubbed her eyes only to allow fresh tears to run free once more. "Thank you for telling me that. I want you to leave me alone now, Shibi."

He shuffled himself to the door, wondering if he should actually leave, when she jumped up out of bed. "I do have to thank you though." She said hugging him tightly and burying her tear-stained face in his shoulder. "Thank you for talking to me, Shibi. I'm sorry I'm making you leave just like I'm sorry you had to be here. I'm sorry you had to talk. Thank you."

She let go and sat back down on the bed just as she had when he'd arrived. Cold hot-chocolate in her hand, pain in her eyes and tears in her voice, staring at the walls of a dark room.

Only now, she had the harshness of the truth and a bitter swell of hope to cling to.

Damn it.

Chapter 21:End

A/N:Well, it's 3 a.m. On a school night! Low and behold, I'm not asleep. I'm writing this. Yeah I wake up at 5 a.m. so Daylight savings time can go rot in hell. I made myself cry with this one. Though that may be because it's 3 though. I get a bit loopy in the morning. And when I have 2 hours before I get up to get ready for school! You're very welcome!

(*) means you can go to this site. to learn about Japan. *Seishu and *Sake are Japanese alcohol and *Tempura and *Sashimi are food. Good food, might I add.

SEVEN PAGES! Review me please! =) My last 3 chapters were barely 4 pages, as you may have noticed. Haven't had one this long since chapter 12 actually!