Author's Note: I meant to get this out yesterday, but it took a little longer than expected to finish and I had a few other distraction. Oh, and this is NOT canon to the rest of the story. At least, not yet...
Beyond the Outer Gates Lies...An All Hallow's Eve Omake?
I looked cautiously at myself in the mirror. I had begun to accept that, unlike back home, it was doubtful something would jump out of a reflective surface in Bizzaro World. And I was starting to appreciate being able to study my appearance. That hadn't stopped me from placing a standard array of wards around the mirrors in each of my home's four bathrooms. Old habits die hard, after all.
I was wearing a new duster, still in black leather, but the grey piping down the sleeves. It also had a metal plate on left shoulder that was so small calling it a pauldron would be an insult to the shoulder armor that manga and anime artists seemed so enamored with. Unlike my normal dusters, this one was custom made, as were most of the other elements of my current outfit.
Under the coat, I wore a simple, store bought, black, long-sleeve t-shirt and jeans. But the rectangular, black, metal buckle on my belt was also hand made. Instead of sneakers, I had a pair of heavy black leather boots that came two inches above my ankles, and had a few more steel armor accents. Over my jacket I wore a three strap black leather harness, which held the scabbards of the two swords strapped to my back.
They were wooden, but made of top quality, pressure treated oak, and had then been soaked in a chemical that both changed their color and further strengthened the wood. The long sword set for my right handed draw was black, with a silver edge and had no guard but an elaborate, asymmetrical connection between the blade and the grip. The weapon forming the other half of the X on my back was light blue, had an extra flare out near the tip and an elaborate crosspiece set with a large blue gem.
Two thoughts occurred to me. First being that, other than being too tall, having the wrong eye color, and my scars standing out, I actually made a pretty good Kirito. And the second was that if I ever needed extra money, I could have Lash start taking requests from cosplayers. They would pay a mint for this level of quality and accuracy.
You are probably wondering why I was dressed up as the lead of Sword Art Online. Well, after the previous brouhaha cooled down, I realized it was into October, and I still hadn't had my housewarming party yet. So I decided to kill two birds with one stone and hold Harry's Housewarming Halloween Haunt. Costumes required. And after I sent out the invitations, Lash began to bother me about my costume. I agreed to her choice of Kirito, on the condition that she make the costume. I mean, it was simple enough to wear, had full coverage, and had a long coat, so I didn't have much to complain about. So for the last week I had spent most of my free time rereading the first seven volumes of SAO and the first two volumes of SAO Progressive, while Lash used my hands and her own eyes to make every part of my costume except the shirt and pants. And then I had enchanted the coat, belt buckle, boots, and swords. No use letting her good handiwork go to waste.
Oh, and I turned the pages with magic. One of the first spells in the first intermediate black magic book I had scored did just that. I was still torn as to whether that meant Bizzaro World's magicians were really lazy, or really practical.
It was also my birthday, but I had not mentioned that. Mainly because I was conflicted about the whole 'teen but really forty' thing. Plus, I was now in high school, and didn't want to have to deal with my classmates knowing my birthday happened to be a holiday, especially this one. And, of course, if I gave Rias and Sona more information about me, it would give them more ways to search for and question my non-existent past. Nope, best to just leave that part out of it.
Breaking free of the introspection that was the other threat of mirrors, I stepped out of my bathroom, exited my bedroom, and stopped at the top of the stairs.
"Reya, Sona, is it safe for me to come down now?" I shouted down to the lower level.
"Sure, come on down, Harry-chan," Serafall shouted back up.
I hadn't planned it this time. But when I had handed out the invites, Tsubasa had naturally offered to help me clean my house and set up. Which, of course meant that Sona had insisted that she would come early too, and Reya had politely offered her own assistance. I had been a bit surprised when Serafall had arrived with the other three, but I wasn't about to turn away help.
So after we got the food ready and the decorations hung (and they stopped asking about the t-rex skeleton and accordion decals mixed in with the more normal Halloween offerings), I had been banished up to my room so the ladies could get into costume and surprise me.
I had been considering the possibilities while I got ready. The first thing that came to mind was Sona White and the Seven Devils. Though I doubted the rest of her Peerage would go for that. And Sona preferred the more modern princesses, so maybe Merida or Mulan. I fully expected Reya to be dressed as Hermione Granger, and for Tsubasa I was thinking Mia Hamm for some reason. And I had no idea what Serafall might dress up as, unless it was a different magical girl.
"Reya, Sona, is it safe for me to come down now?" I called again, this time emphasizing the names of the girls I trusted not to get me into trouble.
"Yes, we are all ready, Dresden-kun," Sona confirmed, and I started down the stairs. But before I was halfway to the main floor, Tsubasa marched into view.
The Rook was wearing a black leotard with a diamond of lavender armor covering her chest, plus shoulder and hip armor of the same color. She also had matching gauntlets and boots, and long silk gloves covering her arms up to the elbow. Behind trailed a cape, black on the outside and red on the inside. And her ears extended an additional two inches into sharp points. She was an elf, apparently, and I thought I should recognize her. But I didn't until Reya stepped out of my guest room.
The Bishop had on a red, flared dress, with a white apron and silver chestplate over the top. She had a heavy gauntlet and pauldron on her left arm, but her right arm had only the dress's sleeve. She also had on a pair of knee high tan leather boots with metal plates down the front. In addition, her hair was shortened to her shoulders and bubblegum pink.
"Is that a wig, did you cut it, or is that your powers, Reya?" I asked her. She smiled and touched the tips of her locks.
"My powers," she confirmed, "Kai… Sona-san thought this would be a good way to practice changing shape."
"Your ears, too?" I prompted Tsubasa, and the Rook nodded happily.
Serafall flounced out. She was wearing a green dress, split in front up to her waist and white across her breasts. She had a thick brown leather belt from under her breasts down to her hips. Under the dress Levi-tan had on white shorts and long white socks over short brown boots. Her hair was currently blonde, and pulled up into a ponytail by a large white bow.
Sona appeared last. She had on a leotard, white across her stomach and black on her chest and hips. It large cut outs on the sides. She had a green military jacket with both white and metal highlights and green thigh highs. She had a long scarf wrapped around her neck and a black belt with a number of pouches and semi-automatic on her hip.
Sona as Sinon, Serafall as Leafa, Reya as Lisbeth, and Tsubasa as Kizmel. Four girls after Kirito, and none of them Asuna. I wondered if they had considered the implications.
"You all look nice," I told them. Then I glanced over Sona's shoulder and said silently, 'Though I'm not sure how you arranged this, Lash.'
The Fallen's shadow appeared, dressed as Klien from the same series as the rest of us. If Klien's top and armor were cut to expose impressive cleavage.
"I wish I could take credit, my host," she smirked, "But this is all the younger Sitri's doing."
'I would think I would remember if Sona made that kind of suggestion.'
"No, my host, you would not..."
Sona closed up the heavy book of Nordic spells and locked it. Though she was still providing the books, now it was just for us to study from, not for me to keep. And at this point, Kuoh's Kaichou was spending almost as much time studying as she did teaching me.
She hefted the book, struggling slightly. It wasn't due to its weight; with her Devil's strength she could have lifted a book twice as heavy, easily. The awkward size of the tome was the issue, and it seemed without Side Promoting into a Rook, she couldn't ignore physics like I had seen Koneko and Tsubasa do. As she swung the book around to get it into a more manageable grip, she ended up knocking my bag off the table. As it hit the floor, the zipper popped, and the contents went flying.
"I'm sorry Dresden-kun," she sighed, and then set the book back down and started helping me pick up my stuff. Then she picked up the books Reya and I were reading.
"I thought you and Reya had gone digital," she commented, setting them on chair so I could reorganize my backpack, "And why do you have two copies of the same book."
"One is in English, the other is in Japanese," I explained, placing the copies of Sword Art Online Progressive on my notebooks, "We are comparing the differences in the cultural references, and the general quality of the translation. And it's harder to read two books side by side on a Nook. Besides, Reya has started giving her hard copies to the library when we finish."
Sona looked at the books again, and then gave me a wry grin.
"Be honest, Dresden-kun. You just like these books because the protagonist shares your taste in outwear," she asked.
"I believe I have made my stance on dusters known," I said regally.
Sona narrowed her eyes, and her smile broadened.
'And why show me that?' I asked Lash.
She rewound the scene, and provided a HUD of the vocal and facial tics Sona had used to communicate her desire to see me in a Kirito costume. A crinkle of the lips, a fluttering eyelid, the accenting of her phrase.
'Okaaay,' I drew out the word, impressed and slightly frightened by the nonverbal communication between women, 'But how did you let her know that I had given in to your badgering?'
"Harry," she sounded scandalized, "A girl has to have her secrets."
Any further debate on the subject was interrupted when my doorbell rang. A quick glance at the wall clock said it was 4:50, but I guess someone wanted to be fashionably early.
"Tsubasa, can you start up the Halloween playlist on my PS3 while I get the door?" I asked, hurrying the rest of the way down the stairs. The Rook inclined her head and gave me a quick salute, and then went for the remotes.
I opened the door to see a trio of doubly familiar figures. Though technically it was my first time meeting Millicas Gremory, I had seen pictures of him before. I had met his mother Grayfia a few times, and had a good working relationship and burgeoning friendship with his father Sirzechs.
As for their costumes, I had downloaded an older fighting game, one that I had not seen at Tsubasa's house, hoping I could get good enough to challenge her. Sirzechs was dressed as the vampire lord Demitri, made more recognizable by the fact his wife slash Queen slash maid looked moderately uncomfortable in the sexy garb of the succubus Morrigan. And their son made up to look like the clay doll robot Huitzil.
"I guess you took my advice about getting a video game," I offered the Lucifer my hand. He shook it, even as Grayfia gave me a reproachful look.
"I did say I liked to keep current with culture and technology on Earth," Sirzechs reminded me, "You two have not met before. Millicas, meet Harry Dresden a friend of your aunt. Harry-kun, this is my son, Millicas Gremory."
"Nice to meet you, Millicas," I offered the boy my hand.
"Please take care of me, Dresden-dono," he bowed, before taking my hand.
"Just call me Harry, kiddo."
"Okay," he agreed meekly. He fidgeted briefly, and then seemed to come to a decision. He pulled out a bag from behind his back and extended it towards me, tentatively saying, "Trick or treat?"
"Millicas," Grayfia scolded him gently, "you will be going out later with your grandparents. Do not bother Dresden-sama."
"It's no bother," I told them, pointing to the bowl of candy on the chair sitting next to the door, "I got ready out of habit, but I doubt I'll get many trick or treaters. Japan doesn't have the same tradition that America does."
I grabbed a couple of candy bars and tossed them into his bag. Then I stepped back.
"Well, come in," I gestured, "Don't worry about taking your shoes off, we're all in costume anyway. Food's on the tables, we've got jack o lantern pizzas; fingers in blood, which is to say mini hot dogs in barbeque sauce; viscera cider, which is apple cider with bits of apple and cherry made to look like mini organs; plus old standbys like candy, chips, and such. Oh, and since it is a housewarming, too, I guess I can give you the grand tour."
At that Grayfia elbowed her husband lightly, and Sirzechs produced a thin, wrapped package with a very familiar shape.
"Speaking of that," the Devil grinned, "and since turnabout is fair play…"
He handed me what was almost certainly a video game.
"Okay so this is the main room, which if we close the shoji doors becomes the living room and dining room…"
I was cut off again by the buzzer.
"Hey, Sona," I called out to her, "Since you are the expert at giving tours to the Maou, can I get you to take over here so I can answer the door?"
The diligent girl nodded, and took my place as I hurried back to the entrance again.
I opened the door, and part of the group I expected to arrive first was there. They lived right next door, after all.
Issei was decked out in a navy doublet with a big frilly collar, tights, and light boots. His normally unruly hair had been slicked back. He looked every inch the generic Disney prince, the early ones with no name or real personality. And he looked very uncomfortable.
Next to him, Rias was wearing heavy, blue canvas pants, a white silk shirt with a vest of real looking chain mail over the top, and a cavalier hat. She had on heavier boots and had a rapier strapped to her left hip.
Behind them, Akeno was garbed in what amounted to a raw leather bustier and boy shorts. No shoes, but she did have a necklace of random, polished rocks, a few feathers woven into her hair, and six different cheap, plastic, children's toy weapons tied to her waist or back.
"So you are the prince and you are his bodyguard?" I prompted.
"Yes," Akeno was the one who answered, "And I am the barbarian warrior come to steal the prince away."
Right, NTR was Akeno's MO, and she was not body shy either. I was thankful her costume was PG-13, if just barely.
"Ahh, Buchou?" a small, familiar voice called out from behind them. The trio parted ways for Asia, and the former nun stepped forward.
She had on black dress pants, a white dress shirt, an apron, and one of those white, stove pipe, mushroom top hats. As if to complete her chef's costume, the slight blonde was carrying an elaborate rack which held four cookie sheets.
"The Occult Research Club's housewarming gift for you," Rias said as her Bishop handed me the rig, "The cookies are for the party, and the sheets and cooling rack are for you."
"Thank you," I said sincerely. I wasn't much of a baker, but they would work for frozen pizzas, or if I ever tried cookie type potions again.
"Come in," I took the gift and stepped back, "Don't worry about your shoes, and food is buffet style on the table. We've got…"
Anyway, to make a long story short, one by one they all arrived.
Okay, not really one by one. The rest of the student council arrived next. Tsubaki had somehow decided to dress in the classic Ms. Marvel costume, black leotard with a big yellow lightning bolt, black thigh-highs, gloves, and domino mask, and so on. She had even turned her hair blonde. Tomoe was oddly fitting in her Tinkerbell costume, and had also gone blonde for the evening. Saji, Rurko, and Momo were all dressed in classic Starfleet uniforms, Saji in the yellow command shirt, and the two girls in science blue. Ruruko had also adopted pointy ears, and Momo had an anachronistic Next Gen Tricorder toy. I guessed they were supposed to be Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. Or at least a gender swap doujinshi version of the trio, not that Saji noticed.
As for the rest of the ORC, Koneko was fittingly cute in her Little Red Riding Hood outfit. Kiba was wearing a katana I wasn't quite sure was fake for his Kenshin Himura costume. I figured someone else must have stuffed Gasper into the Solid Snake getup, but at least it gave him a reason to have his box handy. Xenovia fulfilled my expectation for Sona with her Mulan costume, and Rossweisse fidgeted uncomfortably in the most perfect Samus Aran cosplay I had seen. Not that I had even been aware of the character before arriving in Bizzaro World, but the red, gold, and yellow armor was spot on. It took me a while to place Irina; the young angel was wearing a green bodysuit, yellow swim fins on her feet, a baseball hat with a duck bill brim and an additional fedora on top. Behind her she had stylized yellow beaver tail.
Ravel Phenix had come with the rest of the ORC, and looked resplendent in her elaborate gothic Lolita dress. But she offered me a separate gift, a single vial of Phoenix Tears. She said it was from her family for saving Mihae.
The last two, who unexpectedly showed up at the same time, were Azazel and Michael. The leader of the Fallen was dressed in a cheesy, stereotypical Devil costume. Red bodysuit and black fur briefs, plastic horns and pitchfork. I was a little worried, not that my guests would be offended, but because I had pulled a similar stunt, and what that said about my thought patterns versus Az's. The leader of the proper Angels had on an ill-fitting business suit and a cheap briefcase with random papers sticking out, the picture of a harried salary-man.
"… so I looked a second time," I was saying to a small group of my guests, "and sure enough, she really was cursed. But the reason I missed it the first time wasn't because it was subtle, or shielded or anything. It was because it was too weak for my normal detection spells. It was simple to get rid of it after that."
"That's it?" Tsubaki prompted with a confused frown.
"No, the good part is what happened next," I continued, "I was on the way home from school the next day, when this van cuts me off. And who should jump out, but the goths the cheerleader said hexed her in the first place. Except they were all dressed as literal Slytherins, black robes with green trim and a silver serpent emblem. One had a really nice green and silver scarf…"
"I thought you hadn't read the Potter books back in America," Azazel pointed out. Of course the Fallen second most interested in my love life would have found out what books I had read with Reya. I sighed internally.
"I hadn't, but I was aware of them. Everyone always seemed to ask 'what house I was in' when they found out I was a wizard. Plus there was the movies, and all the other media."
"Anyway, the lead Slytherin starts ranting about me removing his curse and if I was a real magic user I should side with him against the Muggles, and all that crap. And he ends it by challenging me to a duel, and pulling out a wand."
"I was pretty annoyed at that point, but I wanted to see just how much of a threat he was. So I let him build up the circle for the same curse he cast on the girl. It took him almost five minutes, and in the end, it wasn't even strong enough to stick to me. He started complaining about professional curtesy and other nonsense. So I decked him."
Az snorted, almost spitting cider on Kiba.
Yeah, in the real version none of us had been in school, and I pulled a gun on him. But this version worked better for my current audience and backstory.
"He started sputtering about my violating the sanctity of the wizard's duel, and I point out to him that he never actually called for a magical duel, just a duel. He claimed that should have been obvious, so I knocked him and all of his buddies on their butts with a weak Forzare…"
Tsubaki and Asia both started giggling, and Kiba smiled appreciatively. But before I could finish the story, the doorbell rang again. Everyone who had said they would be coming was already here, so I wondered if Shemhazi or one of the other 'noes' had had a change of plans.
Instead I opened the door to find a line of over a dozen mini goblins, witches, and princesses standing outside my door.
"Trick or Treat," they all called out in English when they saw me. The leader of the pack did so without accent, and was definitely not Japanese, so I decided she was a transplant who had dragged her new friends out for this. Behind them, a trio of parents looked mildly embarrassed by the whole thing. A few of the kids looked dubious, I guessed they probably hadn't had much luck. But they all brightened when I hauled out my giant bowl of chocolates.
All told, it took me almost fifteen minutes to get rid of them. I had to make comments on each costume, and all the Japanese kids insisted on bowing and thanking me personally. I closed the door, and walked quickly over to the table. Between the story telling and talking to the trick or treaters, I was a little parched, so I grabbed a cup of the cider.
As I raised it to my lips, I started to notice the tone of the party had changed. But before I could take a look around and get a feel for it, Sona suddenly latched onto my arm.
"Harry-kun," she pouted up at me, "do you not like small breasts?"
Duhhh…. What?
I quickly gulped down my drink, both to combat the suddenly increased dryness in my throat, and to buy a second for my brain to catch up.
"Of course not, Sona," I said gently, "The size of a woman's chest doesn't matter to me. It's all about the shape and feel."
WHAT!?
My brain screamed, echoed incredulously by Lash. Not sure why I admitted that, I suddenly noticed a distantly familiar warmth settling in the pit of my stomach.
I looked around. A thoroughly red faced Tsubaki had cornered a wide eyed Kiba. Momo and Ruruko had attached themselves to Saji like seductive limpets, and the Pawn looked like he wasn't sure if he should just go with it, or try to get to Sona. Like Hell.
Stop that.
Poor Ise was on my couch, about to be happily suffocated under the mass of amorous woman flesh that was his harem. Rosswiesse, on the other hand, was swiveling her head around randomly, a dismayed expression on her face. And Michael just looked mildly amused.
"folgerim," I muttered under my breath, and then called out loudly, "Okay, who spiked the cider?"
I was looking right at Azazel as I said it. The leader of the Grigori gave me an entirely unconvincing look of hurt innocence.
"Why are you accusing me?" he asked. But before I could answer, Serafall grabbed my other arm, not for the first time dragging it deep into her cleavage. Which in turn prompted Sona to try to rub her own breasts against my arm.
"Sorry, Harry-chan," Levi-tan said, "Harry-chan has said he wished he could get drunk after a couple of tough jobs. So I thought I would help as your housewarming present."
"Wait, you did too, Serafall?" Azazel blurted out.
Hell's Bells.
"Do either of you remember that most of us are under age, and that there is a grade schooler present?"
"I waited until Millicas-chan was gone," Serafall assured me, one of her hands drifting to my butt. And despite my anti-drunkenness slash anti-hangover spell, I didn't seemed to have regained the ability to resist.
"Okay, so that's where his parents are."
"Actually, Dresden-kun," Azazel sounded slightly apologetic, "The Lucifer's son left with his grandparents. Sirzechs and his queen retreated to your guest bedroom."
"Hell's Bells," I said it aloud this time. This was happening pretty quickly for normal booze, and my spell wasn't working.
"Okay, just what did you two put in the cider?" I demanded, squirming so I could try to get some focus back from what the Sitri sisters were doing to me. Unfortunately, my gyrations instead produced a set of sensations it seemed we all enjoyed. Then Tsubasa emerged from the bathroom, her face also flush. She caught sight of me and made a beeline towards us.
"I thought cinnamon goes good with apple," Serafall panted, "So I put in a fifth of Goldschläger."
High proof schnapps. Great.
"And what about you," I glared at Az.
"I didn't put..." he started to deny it, but then said sheepishly, "I didn't want the party to end too early. And I have been experimenting with the Extract of Sleep."
Stars and stones.
"Did you know if you replace the sunflower seeds in the final step with rose hips and lily petals, it moderately diminishes the original rest effect, but adds an additional side effect?"
Oh, I was quite familiar with the effects of rose hips and lily petals. It was one of Bob's favorites mixes, after all.
"Do you know what happens when you mix normal alcohol with magical stimulants?" I hissed at him. The short version was, it made the alcohol more potent and take effect faster. On top of the potion's own effect, which in this case was the equivalent of No-Doze and Spanish Fly.
The leader of the Fallen grinned sheepishly and rationalized, "There wasn't supposed to be any alcohol in the punch…"
"Did anyone not drunk the cider?" I demanded loudly, with more than a hint of desperation.
Kiba raised his hand, and a small hand emerged from the cardboard box I had missed. Az reluctantly raised his hand, and oddly enough so did Akeno, even while she did not stop trying to undress Ise and Asia. Fortunately, Rias and Koneko's positioning on the heap was slowing down the Queen's progress.
"Harry-kun!" Tsubasa cried out, jumping on to my back, her legs wrapping around me, while her arms pulled Sona and Serafall even tighter against me.
My focus was rapidly slipping, hindered by the shift in my blood flow. I would have tried one of the fae circles to put everyone to sleep. Unfortunately, even diminished, the potion would block that. So I went with plan B. A different illusion I had just pieced together.
Under my fingers, two magic circles formed, so black in color it was hard not to despair just looking at them. The room began to darken, and chill, and everyone else began to slow down and look at me. It was oh so fitting that it happened to be Halloween.
"Drunken orgies in the Dresden House are…" I hissed the rare incantation that went with the magical circle. Behind me a hockey mask appeared, and the sounds of chainsaws revving up echoed out.
"FORBIDDEN!"
Well, that sobered them up.
Only after everyone else left… or maybe I should say fled… did I find Reya, fast sleep in my bed, her hands in fascinatingly inappropriate positions. After struggling against the potion still in my system, I sighed, and went down to the basement to sleep on my spare bed.