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Chapter Twenty

"Bella? Love?"

I was just staring at him.

He stood up uncertainly. "Uh maybe this was a bad idea, I shouldn't have…"

"NO!" I interrupted him.

He looked back at me, slightly startled and a little hurt.

"Oh, I didn't mean no, I just meant no it wasn't stupid. Just give me a second."

He nodded curtly and I sagged against a tree. Wow, marriage. At 18?

After a minute or so I looked over at him. Tendon's stood out in his neck and I could tell he was trying hard not to cry. He thought I didn't love him. My resolve steeled.

I walked closer to him, putting my hand on the back of his neck and massaged the knots that were forming. He stiffened more and seemed to shrink from me.

"Edward, I love you. I really, really do. It's just…I'm 18. I don't think we're old enough."

I felt Edward un-kink a bit from beneath my fingers and he sighed, "Bella I want to marry you before you die. I want us to be together."

I nodded, smiling. "I know but…how will everyone feel? They'll think you've knocked me up."

Edward's cheek lifted, "Why does it matter what they think? This is about us, no one else."

I sighed and bent my head forward, my head resting against his shoulder blade, my hand still massaging the kinks from his neck.

"Bella I want you to be my wife before you die."

He turned and looked at me again. Slowly he lowered himself once more to his knee.

"Isabella love you more then life itself. You are my everything and I want to give you every part of me. Please, will you marry me?"

I took a deep breath, steeling my resolve once more.

"Edward Cullen you are what keeps me alive. I'd be honored to be your wife."

He leaped up and kissed me hard, hugging me to him.

Slowly he backed up. Taking my hand he slid the beautiful ring onto my finger where it would stay forever.

I looked up to see his eyes shinning in victory and love along with some other fierce emotion.

"You like that huh? Your ring on my finger?"

He assumed a calm face, "yeah why not? It looks good at you." he said nonchalantly. I was not fooled a bit.

"Edward." I said flatly.

He grinned and pulled me to him fiercely. After a long hard kiss he pulled back with his victorious grin, "yes my love, yes I love my ring on your finger. It makes me yours and you mine. I love it."

I grinned at his happiness, happy myself. He seemed so blissful and ecstatic that it was infectious. All of my uncertainties seemed to slip away.

"Are you happy?" he asked suddenly, "because this is what it's all about, you being happy."

I smiled, "I'm happy if you're happy."

He sighed and glared at me softly, "Bella…"

I grinned, "Edward I'm jubilant, excited, everything. I'm finally yours. In a tangible way. I get to keep you. You don't have to worry much about someone attempting to steal me. People don't want me like they want you, Hun."

Edward frowned, "Shall I make you a list my Love, of who would steal you from me? Some you know, some would surprise you."

I rolled my eyes, "Sure Edward, lets go with that."

He sighed, "Jacob Black for instance, Mike Newton, Eric Yorkie."

I frowned at the mention of the quiet chess-club looking boy who sat beside me in a few of my classes. Surely Edward was exaggerating.

"No Love, he wants you too. Shall I go on?"

I shook my head, he was crazy.

Edward sighed and checked his watch. "Let's eat."

He held his hand out and I took it, both of us walking in step over to the White Oak across the meadow. We laid the blanket out and sat down together. Edward's back was positioned against the tree and my head rested on his shoulder, his arm around my waist. We unpacked the meal Esme had packed for us. Time seemed to pass oddly now. In great leaps or halting dragging hours.

"What time is it?' I asked.

Edward checked his watch again, "10:02" I laughed and he cocked and eyebrow at me.

"We never seem to eat regular meals." I shook my head and he smiled too,

"No we don't do we?" There was an odd tone to his voice so I looked up and studied his eyes. Tracing the bruise like shadows under his eye I said, "You'll need to feed. Last time you ate was almost a week ago. You're getting weak."

Edward's eyes darkened, "I'm fine." he insisted.

I growled, "No Edward you are not. I won't let you die too. You and Jasper are going hunting tonight. Alice or someone will keep me company."

He shook his head again and opened his mouth to say something but I cut in, "As your fiancée I beg you to go hunting. Keep yourself healthy. I was wondering why you looked so sick, you have to feed."

He looked away; I had hit his sensitive button. Now that I was going to be his wife he had a duty to keep me happy, and he knew that him being unhealthy made me very, very unhappy.

"Edward." I pleaded, "For me, please?"

He nodded and began to unpack the basket again. I tried to resists the laughs that bubbled up at the range of food. There were two egg and sausage sandwiches, a salad with a small container of ranch, two chocolate éclairs, and lemonade. Breakfast and lunch combined, brunch.

We ate in silence and I surprised myself by actually having an appetite. Though I would never tell anyone my energy and stamina had been decreasing lately and they were taking my appetite with them. I ate my sandwich and half of my salad, splitting an éclair with Edward. It seemed neither of us was truly hungry, merely putting on a show for the other. "See I'm fine, I'm healthy" our actions said. But our eyes and attitudes said something much different. Once in a while Edward would reach over and brush my cheek with his lips then kiss my ring. I would blush every time and look away. He loved me so much, much more then I deserved. After we were through we laid together for a while, not speaking, just reveling in the fact that we were together.

We must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes after just resting them the light was quickly turning the orange-ish color of sunset. I moved my head a bit to look up at Edward. He looked so peaceful, his head rested against the trunk of the oak, arms wrapped around me. A small smile played on his lips and he breathed slowly and evenly. I didn't want to wake him but I knew that we had to get back, Esme was cooking us dinner to celebrate our anniversary.

"Edward? Edward my dear." I called. He groaned a bit and pulled me closer, his lips resting on my forehead.

"Hun we have to go, Esme's cooking remember?" his eyes slowly opened and I lost myself in their stunning color.

He blinked sleepily a few times before lifting his head to look around.

"Oops." He said in a crackly voice.

I laughed lightly, "Oops would be the right word."

He smiled lazily at me and then grabbed my hand to help me get up. When we were standing Edward stretched his lean body and I felt my insides tighten again, oh he was gorgeous. He noticed me watching and said cheekily, "See something you like?" I licked my lips to give me a second before I had to answer. His eyes followed my tongue.

"Yes Mr. Cullen I sure do." His eyes darkened momentarily then he shook his head.

"Let's go." he reached for my hand again and I sighed.

I came towards him willingly and he bent down and whispered, "Do you trust me?"

Smiling I whispered back, "In theory."

He smiled too and lifted me gently to his back so I was in a piggy back position.

"Then I suggest you close your eyes." I smiled but didn't close my eyes.

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you." and then we were flying. Trees were whipping by so fast they were blurs, undistinguishable. Small breaks in the trees looked like blue blurs, and flowers were pink and purple blots. My eyes were glued open. I was starting to get sick when we stopped beside Edward's car.

"Bella you can slide down now." Edward said after a few minutes.

When he realized that I couldn't he slowly lifted me into his arms, bridal style. This struck me as hilarious and I began to laugh. He looked at me as if I was insane.

"That was hilarious." I said, gasping for breath.

"What was Bella?"

"That, the ride. It was amazing. How can you go so fast without bumping into something?"

Edward shook his head, "Silly Bella, Vampire's don't run into trees."

I smiled, "Maybe that's why I'm not a Vampire."

********

We were walking hand-in-hand up the steps on the front porch. Edward made sure he was on my left so he could hold the hand with his ring on it. He was grinning ear to ear, more ecstatic then I had ever seen him. And surprisingly I shared his joy. I wasn't looking forward to the wedding at all, it was the fact that he was mine and only mine that made me feel like I was on cloud nine. The only thing I was seriously worried about was my gift to Edward. Without my mother around I hadn't really had any adult women to ask but Esme, and I never saw her when Edward wasn't around. Alice and Rose were no help at all,

"Just give him what every boy wants Bella dear." Alice had laughed.

"Yeah you don't want to die a Virgin."

I mentally sighed. I couldn't give Edward a gift he refused to receive. Plus, what did you give to the man who has everything he ever wanted. I had based my gift off of a conversation we had one night.

"I don't understand it Bella." he said as we lay together on my bed. It was one of my home nights and we were trying to be quiet in respect for Charlie who had an early morning tomorrow.

"Understand what Love?" I asked

He shook his head and I felt him sigh, "I don't understand why you love me. Even though I'm a monster, a living nightmare, you still somehow love me."

I was shocked, "How could I not love you Edward? You are the ultimate being of Goodness. You are not a monster, you're just evolution's way of sticking it to humans, showing us that we're not the biggest badest things around. I don't see why there's a reason to not love you."

He shook his head, "I shouldn't exist Bella. What I am shouldn't be real. It goes against nature."

"And what in the name of all that is holly does nature have to do with me loving you?"

He shrugged, "You just don't have a reason to is all."

And no matter what I said, how I protested, he still insisted I had no reason to love him.

So I made him a book. A book with one reason for every day in a year, for why I loved him. And a letter, a letter for him to read when I passed on. Considering his gifts to me, his love and all the beauty he had given me today, my gifts didn't seem as clever and loving as they did before.

As we walked into the house everyone called out, "Congratulations!" There was a banner hanging over the staircase. Apparently Edward had informed Esme that he was going to propose. Speaking of her, she came rushing down the stairs towards us.

"Oh my dear!" Esme hugged me tightly to her. Yup, she knew alright.

"Hi ma." I grinned. She stepped back a little; her hands still on my shoulders

"Well let me see it, he wouldn't even let me look at it before you did. I don't think anyone but you have seen it."

I smiled shyly and held up my left hand. She smiled and murmured appreciatively.

"It's perfect for you my dear, and very beautiful." She complimented.

"Ooo is she showing the ring?" Alice asked from the living room. She and Rose came rushing in followed by Jasper and Emmett who were grinning. Emmett looked a little misty eyed though.

Alice and Rosalie took turns admiring my ring, ooo-ing and ahh-ing appropriately.

I wasn't really paying attention to them though because my eyes had locked with Emmett's

"I'm happy for you squirt" he said, his mind-voice wavering a little.

"Thank you Emmett. Are you going to cry?" I asked carefully.

"Cry, me?" He scoffed, "No I just…got something in my eye, that's all." He quickly wiped his eyes and broke our conversation.

I smiled and looked at Edward. He grinned too, having read the conversation from Emmett's mind with Emmett's permission. The congratulations had been for the both of us, after all.

"I'm Home!" Carlisle called from behind us as he came in the door. Looking at us then up at the banner he smiled and held his hand out to his oldest son,

"I see congratulations are in order my boy. I'm so very happy for you and proud of you. She suits you and you her. You have chosen well my son."

Edward grinned positively glowing at his father's praise. He so admired his dad and they were very close. To have his family approve of us made everything perfect for him.

"Thank you father. It means a lot to me." Carlisle smiled wider and clapped his son on the shoulder. Turning to me he hugged me lightly,

"Congratulations Bella, and welcome to the family."

I smiled, "Thanks…dad."

I hadn't thought it would be possible, but Carlisle's smile got even wider.

"I am proud to call you my daughter Bella."

Alice danced around me, "Yay, now we're really sisters Bella."

She got this hopeful sort of look on her face that kind of scared me.

"Bella?" She called.

"Yes Alice?" I asked carefully.

"Do you love me?" She asked.

I smiled again, "Of course I do Alice. You're my sister, my best friend. You and Rose both."

Her face turned practically pleading and it made me frightened, "Bella if you love me at all please, please let me do your wedding."

I sighed, "Aww Alice I don't want a big deal made out of this. I just want a private ceremony, the people who matter only. Unnecessary attention doesn't suit me."

Alice pouted for a second, "Please, please, please Bella."

I sighed. Well if I was getting married I might as well do it properly right? And it would make my father and Edward happy, he was so old fashioned, my fiancée.

My fiancée. Edward was my fiancé. I wanted to giggle at the novelty but restrained myself.

I gathered my courage, "I guess Alice."

She squealed happily and hugged me tightly for someone her size, "Thank you, thank you, thank you Bella!" she cried.

Her enthusiasm brought a smile to my face and I hugged her back, "You're welcome, but nothing extravagant." She nodded joyfully.

"How about Esme and Rose help me so they can reign me in?"

I grinned, "That's perfect."

Esme clapped her hands together, "All right everyone, we'll plan and talk later, let's eat!"

Everyone nodded enthusiastically and headed for the dinning room. The table was set with the most delicious looking food in the world. Esme had baked a ham and made all the best fixings. Homemade rolls and mashed potatoes, creamed corn and white rice. And a salad sat next to a pitcher of her famous homemade lemonade. My mouth was watering already even though we had just eaten a few hours ago. Coming into the dinning room I looked at the clock and laughed, it was already 5:30. Edward and I had slept a long time.

We sat two to a side at the square table. I was in-between Edward and Emmett. Emmett sat next to Rose who sat next to Jasper. Jasper was beside Alice and Alice was leaning to her side talking to Esme who was beside her. Carlisle was holding her hand and conversing silently with Edward who sat next to him. I smiled looking at them all, wishing my dad could be here too.

As if he was called by me I heard a knock at the door, and Carlisle got up.

A few seconds later he led my father in the room. Dad was grinning ear to ear,

"Sorry I'm late. I had to stop by Emily's place, she made a cake." he handed the dish to Esme who hugged him, "no problem Charlie, we didn't start without you."

Dad stood slightly awkwardly in the doorway until I got up and hugged him.

"Hey Dad." I said, grinning.

"hey Bells. Wow, engaged?"

I nodded and showed him the ring. He whistled, "That's a beauty Bells." looking at Edward he said, "Well son you did well. It fits her perfectly." and like that the awkward energy broke. Carlisle and Charlie got along well and dinner conversation flowed easily. Dad and Carlisle laughed and traded fishing and motorcycle stories and laughed about their jobs. Esme, Rose, and Alice were all busy planning wedding colors and dates. When I poked my head into the conversation Rose asked, "How do you feel like a Midnight Blue and Silver wedding?" I smiled and said ecstatically,

"I'd love it Rose." They all smiled and went back to their planning. We had all moved from the table to the living room and I drifted from conversation to conversation. The boys were arguing over a hockey game between the Atlanta Thrashers and the Detroit Red Wings.

"No, that goal was clearly in." Jasper argued

Emmett shook his head violently, "No, no Osgood had it in his glove. There's no way."

Edward shook his head, "I don't know Em, Jazz makes a good point Armstrong has a great slap shot and it definitely hit the back of the goal, you could hear it. "

I smiled again and walked away from my boys to go see what the dads were up too.

Carlisle and Charlie were lounging on the couch watching a late baseball game.

"No!" Carlisle called as a ball went out of the park.

"Ha, go Capitols!" My dad called.

I smiled and walked away, not wanting to interrupt. I was so happy that my two families meshed so well. It was as if it was all meant to be. I sat down on in a chair in the middle of all the activity and just watched. I watched how Edward seemed to let go of some of the tension he's had ever since I'd gotten sick, he seemed younger somehow. Charlie and Carlisle seemed to get along like old friends, joking and laughing like Emmett and Jasper.

Esme, Rose, and Alice were throwing themselves into wedding plans, seeming happy to have something to celebrate rather then having to mourn.

And all around me my family celebrated one of the last milestones I would probably have in my life.

********

"Don't forget to come see your old ever once in a while Bells." Dad sniffed as he hugged me close.

"Edward and I will be home tomorrow and we'll keep up the back and forth after the wedding until…well until things settle down." Until I die that is, I thought to my self.

My dad nodded, still hugging me, "I'm so proud of you squirt. No body's ever going to be good enough for you in my book Bells, but Edward comes pretty close." I smiled and chuckled a bit.

"Thanks dad. I think he's a keeper."

Dad chuckled too, "He sure is." Then dad stiffened a bit, "Your mother would have been so proud of you Bella. She would have loved Edward."

I swallowed the lump that had gotten caught in my throat and a searing pain ripped through my heart bringing tears to my eyes. "thanks daddy." I whispered.

"I love you baby." He said as he stepped back.

I wiped my eyes quickly so no one would see that I had once again become the human hosepipe. My dad eyed Edward.

"You're a good kid Edward, take care of my girl. But be warned, she is her brother's and my pride and joy. If you harm a single hair on our girl's head you wont be just six feet under but sixty-six feet under. Is that understood?"

Edward tensed a bit then said, "hurting her would be like killing myself Chief Swan. I could never do it, you have my word."

My dad nodded and looked over at me in satisfaction, "You did good Bells, he's a good one."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around Edward's waist, "I know dad, and I don't plan on letting him go."

Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head, "Ditto babe."

My dad smiled again and I saw tears come back to his eyes. I detached myself from Edward and hugged my dad again, "We'll be home tomorrow afternoon around one dad."

My father nodded and whispered, "I love you squirt."

"Love you too Daddy."

Dad let go of me and hugged Emmett.

"I'm so proud of the both of you." he choked out.

We both smiled and Emmett put an arm around my shoulders, "We love you dad." we said.

With a last glance at the two of us my dad made his way down to his car. We all stood on the porch and waved to him as he drove away. I felt strong arms wrap around me as I watched my father make his way out of the clearing.

"He's going to be ok Bella." I nodded but said nothing. I feared for both my dad and my brother. It wasn't fair for them to loose mom and then me. I didn't know how my dad would deal with it. Emmett was an even bigger worry. He had told me in one of our conversations that when I died it would be like ripping him in half and throwing the best parts of him away. But Emmett was lucky, he had Rose and Edward, Alice and Jasper, to lean on as well as dad. That was partly why I loved the fact that our families meshed so well together, dad could come to Esme and Carlisle as well as Billy and his friend Sue Clearwater to help him through it.

"We'll take care of him Bella, I swear." Edward whispered.

Once again I nodded. Mopping under my eyes for stray tears I said,

"Let's go to bed."

Edward nodded and we trooped back inside.

"Bella's tired." Edward announced when we walked into the family room. Esme, Alice, and Rose looked up from their plans and Emmett and Carlisle looked away from the TV. I knew I was being x-rayed by all of them, they all noted how I looked. Slightly paler, slightly thinner, a little more sickly looking.

Emmett got up and walked over to me, "Get to bed Squirt." He hugged me closely but lightly. "I love you big sis." he kissed my forehead and I got a little teary. He never called me big sis. I was always baby sister.

All the others followed suit.

"Sleep dear, I'll have brunch ready when you get up." Esme promised as she hugged me tightly. I hugged her back fiercely.

"Thank you Esme, for everything. You and Carlisle have been wonderful."

Esme released me and Carlisle hugged me, "How could we be anything but Bella dear? You're already family, you and Emmett both, we already love you."

I smiled and Alice came forward hugging me. I laid my head on top of hers.

"I love you ally." I said.

"Oh Bella you're the best sister ever!"

I smiled lightly and hugged her tight, "so are you Ally, so are you."

Then Rose came forward with a sad smile and hugged me lightly, "Thank you for changing my life Bella. You gave me the gift of Emmett and I cant ever thank you enough."

I hugged her tightly, "And you've given me gifts to Rose, you love Emmett. You supported me, you accepted me. That makes us even."

She leaned back and smiled at me, "You're an amazing sister Bella, I couldn't ask for better sisters then Alice and You."

I wiped traitor tears from under my eyes as Jasper's arms claimed me. I had never expected to have a relationship with this boy but he was as near and dear to me as my own twin.

"Oh Bella, stop worrying so much. We'll take care of each other and your father. We owe it to you. You've given us so much love Bella. I never expected to have a sister so close to me other then Rose. You're the little sister I always wanted."

I smiled into his shoulder, "you're the big brother I never knew I wanted until I met you. You're amazing Jazz, strong and wise. Thank you for teaching me so much, and for loving me the way I thought only Emmett could."

Jasper smiled too and leaned back, "It was my pleasure Bells."

I nodded and returned to Edward's arms.

"Good night everyone. We love you so much." Edward said as I smiled

"Good night, we love you too." They all answered.

As we walked up the stairs I could hear them murmuring to each other about how sickly I looked, how my health was failing. Edward frowned and I though I heard him mutter that Jasper and Emmett needed to "get a move on"

I didn't know what he meant so I just ignored it, thinking I had heard him wrong. I allowed myself to be led into the room and onto the bed.

Edward began to hum my lullaby but I stopped him.

"What is it love?" He asked curiously

"Your gift." I reminded him. He smiled and motioned for me to proceed.

I got off the bed quickly and walked lightly over to my sleepover bag. The cheery polka-dotted bag seemed to laugh at me. My gift seemed laughable now, after everything Edward had done today but I most certainly had to give him something.

I carried the silver wrapped package over to him and sat next to him, handing him the gift.

"Come here." He said and quickly pulled me into his lap. His arms wound around my waist and he dropped the package into my lap.

"You didn't have to get me anything." he murmured against my neck

"yes I did." I sighed. He chuckled and his lips traveled from my neck down to the tip of my shoulder then back up and to my ear.

"Thank you my love." he whispered in my ear.

I shivered and he chuckled a bit in my ear, his lips brushing across my earlobe.

"Open it." I urged quietly.

He smiled against my ear then leaned forward to rest his chin on my shoulder. He slowly unwrapped the package with his arms still around my middle.

I closed my eyes, listening to him breathing, his steady heartbeat reassuring me that everything was fine.

I heard his intake of breath and looked down. He held the book carefully in his hands like it was made of glass.

"Oh Bella." he murmured.

"Its not as good as your gifts but you said that you didn't know why I loved you so I gave you 365 reasons. One for every day."

"It's perfect, much better then my gifts."

I shook my head, "That's not possible."

He reached for the letter but I stopped him by grabbing his hand,

"It's…for when I'm gone."

I felt him stiffen behind me but he nodded. He pulled us back and turned me lightly so I was facing him.

"They're wonderful Bella. Thank you so much." He kissed my nose, both of my eye lids and cheeks and finally my lips. He lingered for a second before pulling away and saying I needed sleep. I didn't object, my eyelids fluttering closed.

I curled into Edward's arms and fell asleep quickly to the sound of him humming my lullaby.

********

A week passed quickly with many celebrations making time fly. Emmett and Rose got engaged just two days after Edward and I with Jasper and Alice two days after them. The house was full of Joy tinged with a bit of sadness. Esme walked around corners dabbing her eyes because in just two months her once full to capacity house would be nearly empty, all of her children married and moved out. We hadn't set the dates yet and were having a hard time deciding who should go first. Alice said I should and Rose agreed but I wasn't too excited about being first. I thought Alice and Jasper should because they had been waiting the longest.

Then Esme got tired of the bickering and said, "How about you just do them back to back. Once every two weeks. Alice, then Bella, then Rose. That way Bella's neither first nor last and yet they still get married."

Alice and I loved it and it made Rose nearly ecstatic. Alice had decided her colors would be Pink and white, Rose was red and black, and I had midnight blue and silver. The bridesmaids dresses would be ordered in the same type of dress with different colors. We'd each need two and Esme would need three as she would be involved in all of the weddings as a brides maid and mother of the bride She had gotten teary when I asked her to stand in for my mother. Alice would be my maid of honor, I would be Rose's and Rose would be Alice's so that the grooms sister would always be the maid of honor. We did have a few distinctions though so that all the weddings would be different. I wanted a twilight wedding on the lawn of the Cullen house, Alice wanted a wedding that was themed in a masquerade ball in a hotel ballroom in Port Angeles called the Plaza. Rose wanted a mid-afternoon wedding on the beach front. It felt right that each of us would have our special day our way even if it was a bit rushed. I had apologized to both Rosalie and Alice about the need to rush on my account.

"Don't be silly Bella, we're the Cullens and Hales we can pull three weddings together in a week if we had too." Alice said confidently. Rose nodded and brushed me off with, "Bella I'm just excited to be marrying Emmett."

I loved these girls. They had given up a lot for me and didn't even care. I didn't know what I had ever done to justify having such an amazing family.

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