Book 3: Chapter 6

The Hardest Word

The following morning Alethea stopped Remus as they both reached the Great Hall for breakfast.

"I'm a little surprised to see you up this early," he grinned. "I thought you might have had some trouble getting out of bed."

"Yeah, well," Alethea tried to mask her embarrassment. "The miracle of a good headache tonic cannot be underestimated."

They stood aside to let several students past.

"About last night," she began.

Remus raised his hand.

"Not a word more about it," he said. "I only hope my comments didn't make you feel uncomfortable."

"I don't know, I don't think so." She forced a smile. "Still friends?"

"Alethea I want you to know that I truly value our friendship."

"Thank you," she looked into his eyes. "I feel the same way."

"I hope that Severus realises just how lucky he is."

Alethea waited for Remus to walk in first, not wanting to upset Severus any more if he happened to see them enter together.

Several nights later Alethea was seated at the Head Table for dinner. She looked sadly down the table at Severus who was still refusing to acknowledge her.

"Mind if I sit here?"

Remus had pulled out the seat beside Alethea and looked at her expectantly. She glanced back to Severus who was scowling at Remus and shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't see why not."

While Alethea enjoyed Minerva's company, she was beginning to feel increasingly uncomfortable around him. Not because she believed he had feelings for her, but because she felt like she was awkwardly in the middle of him and Severus. She didn't want to do anything to upset the man she loved, but also saw the grief in Remus eyes whenever he sensed her avoiding him.

"Are you with us tonight?" Remus asked waving a hand in front of Alethea's face.

She snapped back to reality and forced her eyes to refocus. The Great Hall was full of its usual noises of loud talking and cutlery scraping against plates.

"Sorry Remus," she said. "I don't think I'm very hungry tonight."

"Are you unwell? Can I do anything?"

"Who are you to talk?" she smiled. "You haven't exactly been the pinnacle of health yourself this year."

"I know," Remus hung his head. "But I'd have been a lot worse if Severus hadn't been helping me with potions to keep me well."

"Your history with him hasn't been the greatest yet you still manage to talk to him decently, with respect…"

"You mean I treat him the opposite of how he treats me?"

"Pretty much."

"It's just one of those things I suppose. I was always ashamed of the way James and Sirius picked on him but it's not like I ever did anything to stop them. In many ways I am just as responsible for the hatred that's still inside him. I still carry a lot of guilt about that."

Alethea clenched her jaw and shook her head.

"I can't believe you of all people would be involved in treating anyone so horribly. And how could you sit back and watch someone else do it?"

Remus hung his head. "It was long ago and we were so young."

"It's a great defence for some kids who were able to grow up and forget all about the pain they caused," Alethea said angrily. "So much of what you did to him has made Severus the angry and bitter man he is today."

She looked at Remus, his face still down and eyes sad. She put her hand over his on the table, then catching his eye, quickly removed it.

"But it was so long ago and I do believe you are a good man Remus."

"Do you think things could have been different if you had met me first?"

Alethea looked at him, unsure of what to say.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you again," he said. "You don't have to answer that. It's just another one of those things one can't help thinking about."

Alethea cast a quick glance in Severus' direction. He was resting his chin on steepled fingers, his gaze sweeping around the house tables.

"I'm sorry Remus, really. But I don't think it would have mattered who I met first - he's got my heart."

Remus curled up his lips and held up a piece of steak on his fork to examine it. "Those house-elves always overcook the meat."

After dinner, Alethea returned to her office to prepare for the next day's lessons. She was still unsure what to make of what had happened between her and Remus in her quarters but now she could have no doubt about his feelings. Alethea sat at her desk and put her head in her hands, rubbing her eyes hard when a soft knock came on the door.

"Come in."

Hermione Granger entered cradling an armful of books. She looked dreadful; there were large bags under her bloodshot eyes, making it look like she hadn't slept in a week.

"Hermione!" Alethea helped the girl into a seat and poured her a glass of water. "What's wrong?"

Hermione began crying and let her pile of books drop to the floor as she covered her face with her hands. Alethea pulled a chair close and sat down next to her.

"What's going on, Hermione?"

"Too… many… classes..." she stammered between sobs. "Can't… keep… up… no… time… to… sleep." Hermione let out a howl and threw herself into Alethea's arms.

Alethea allowed her cry for a while, before gently helping Hermione back to her seat.

"I'm going to go and get Professor McGonagall; will you be okay by yourself until I get back?"

"Y-yes," Hermione was trying to stop the flow of tears by holding a tissue hard to her eyes.

Alethea left the room and returned a little while later with Minerva in tow. The older professor knelt down beside Hermione and patted her knee.

"Oh my dear," she cooed. "I wasn't sure if this would be a good idea. I thought that if anyone could pull it off it would be you."

"Pull what off?" Alethea looked at both of them. "What's going on?"

Minerva stood and took Alethea aside.

"Poor Hermione's such the model student," she said quietly. "This year she wanted to tackle every single subject and the only way she could was with the use of a time-turner. It literally let her be in two places at once. The Ministry approved it after Professor Dumbledore assured them of what a capable student she is."

"And how do you think it's working out for her?" Alethea frowned and pointed towards Hermione who sat with her head low, still dabbing at tears.

"I agree that even with the device it seems there's been a little too much pressure on the poor girl," Minerva frowned.

The professors returned to Hermione. This time Minerva sat beside her and Alethea knelt in front.

"Hermione, your dedication to your schoolwork is really quite admirable," Alethea said. "The fact that you've been through all this, doing twice as much work as everyone else, it really speaks to your character."

Hermione nodded slightly and blew her nose. Alethea put a hand on her shoulder.

"But look at what trying to being a superhero is doing to you," Alethea raised her eyebrows for emphasis. "Sometimes it can take greater strength to know when to admit defeat."

Minerva gave Alethea a stern look over the rim of her glasses.

"That's entirely different," Alethea whispered to her friend knowing exactly what she meant.

Minerva just pursed her lips and helped Hermione to stand. She led her towards the door before turning back.

"I think we'll go and visit Professor Dumbledore, we need to get you sorted before exams start next week," she said before turning back to Alethea. "And as for you, sometimes we do need to learn to take our own advice."