James The Lesser Presents Vinny Lane

Lame DJ's haunted the school. He would have joked about it with Daria but she was having bigger problems after her father had a heart attack. "And now my grandmother is there and she doesn't like my mom so we all have to walk around on eggshells."

Unsure what to do or say, Vinny keeps it short. "That sucks."

"Quinn is trying to read medical books and isn't doing as bad as people who don't know she's actually smart would think. I told her to start with the Operation board game."

"Hmm, loud noises and a bright light? Probably not good for her or your dad." I shouldn't have joked about that. Daria smiles a little. Unless not taking it seriously is what she needs now.

"I'm stuck between encouraging her and self preservation."

"She'll never be a brain no matter how many books she reads. She doesn't have depth."

"Thanks." They ignore the shouting DJ's who were trying to get UpChuck a date.

The DJ's got more annoying as Jake got better. "Hey, if he recovers, he can give you more driving lessons before you go for your license next week."

"I don't want to put him back in the hospital."

"Your driving isn't that bad."

"Bad enough. I failed the test twice already."

The poor cake I have in the freezer knows that. "You'll pass this time. Third time's the charm, right?"

"At least someone believes in me."

"Hey, what are friends for?"

When Vinny got home he sees Trent in the kitchen. "Hey Trent."

"Yo, wanna come with the band to Fremont for a gig this weekend?"

"Yeah, sure. Mind if I invite Daria?"

"Nope. Maybe she can help pay for gas."

"Are we taking the Tank again? Will it make it?"

"Jesse got it fixed."

Yeah, that problem. "And when something else breaks on it?"

"We'll be fine."

"What the hell, live life a little on the wild side."

Daria informs Vinny her parents were gone for the weekend. "I need to stay home and keep Quinn from throwing another keggar. Last time, some one threw up in mom's closet."

"Bummer. Well, have fun with that."Quinn throws a keggar and Daria can't even hang out with me with the door closed. Hypocrites.

Sitting in a jail cell with the band and an overweight balding man, Vinny grumbles as he talks to himself. A little too wild side this time.

A sheriff knocks a stick on the bars. "Which one of you kids wants to make the call?"

Vinny jumps up from the bench seat he was on. "I will."

"Ok kid, you get one."

"Thank you Officer."

"Sheriff."

"Uh, thank you, sheriff."

Vinny looks at the phone and debates whom to call. Monique can drive and I'd trust her with the cash. I don't trust her not to get locked up for beating up Trent for this stupidity. Daria... Crap, she's my only option. Maybe Helen can get our bail reduced.

When Daria answers, Vinny explains the situation. "My parents aren't here."

"Oh, right. Well, you got your license. You can drive."

"That far?" He can hear the fear in her voice. "I, maybe."

"Please Daria? You're my only call. You know how to get into the house without a key and I trust you with the cash."

"I'll be there. Don't go anywhere."

"Ha, very funny. Thanks Daria."

"I'll get there... When I do."

"I'll be here."

Vinny was working on a tattoo with a pen on the overweight balding man when a deputy sees his work. "Hey, that's pretty good kid."

"Thanks. I'm an artist."

The deputy looks at the clock on the far wall. "Your friend still isn't here."

"I know." She is doing the speed limit I'm sure if not a little under.

"Well," The deputy taps his foot as he rubs his chin with his right hand. "The Sheriff's daughters birthday is today and the clown never showed up. I could make you a deal."

"Deal?"

Shut up Max. You're why we're in this mess! "Like?"

"Well, you could do face painting, right?"

"Of course. Unicorns, Leprechauns, rainbows, whatever she wants."

"And the band could entertain the others." Vinny nods. "How about you pay off your debt to society that way?"

Before any of the Mystic Spiral band members can say something Vinny shouts. "Yes!"

Vinny listens to Daria's explanation for why it took her so long to get out to the jail. "Quinn spent all of it? On a cowboy?"

"I'm sorry. We got back most of it by scamming some country guys in the bar I can pay you back."

That's not the point. "I'm sure Quinn can pay me back. Not you. Or I'll ask your parents."

"If they knew I drove all the way out here to bail you out of jail..."

"Crap. Quinn is not getting away with this. That was four hundred dollars she stole. Even if you got most of it back."

"I know. I'll make sure you get the rest back."

"I don't want it from you I want it from her." I could have put that differently. "I don't want a penny of this coming from you. Or those country guys you ripped off. She had no reason for touching that money."

Daria shows him some of the cash. "There's just under three hundred here. The other hundred I can get you."

"I don't want that money or your money. I want Quinn's money." Why am I so mad? Because it was MY money she used.

Daria puts the cash back. "I'll think of something."

"I hope so."

As the band wraps up, Vinny and Daria leave a little early. "Want to start getting back at Quinn?"

"What? How Daria?"

Daria holds up the car keys. "Leave her with the band."

Vinny can't help the smile that creeps across his face. "I'm driving."

"You don't have your license."

"I've been driving longer than you." Vinny takes the keys and gets in the car.

Vinny and Daria hear the Tank roll up to the Morgendorffer house. "Don't stop! I'll just, tuck and roll! Gah!" Quinn hops out of the still moving van and runs to the house hoping no one popular saw her with the band.

She slams the door shut and sees Daria and Vinny. "Mom and dad are going to kill you!"

Daria smirks. "For what?"

"You left me with Trent and that, that, aaa!"

Daria gets close to Quinn. "Oh, you mean that time you stole four hundred dollars and spent it on clothes for a cowboy?"

"I, I didn't steal it. I just borrowed it. I got most of it back."

Vinny stays back and lets Daria continue. "So you're going to pay it back?"

"Yes. I'll just need an advancement on my allowance and a small loan from you."

"No. You stole that money and you will pay it back."

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Can't I like, do chores for you for a month? Make up the hundred I'm short?"

"It wasn't my money you stole it was Vinny's."

"Fine! I'll do chores at his house for a month."

Now Vinny speaks up. "Oh hell no. You are banned from my house."

"But, that, that's not fair! You know I don't have a hundred dollars!"

"Then tell mom and dad what you did and ask them to give Vinny the money."

Whoa, Daria, if she tells them why you had the money and why you made the trip... "I'll tell mom and dad why you had the money and made the trip out there." Quinn isn't as dim as she acts.

"Vinny wasn't driving. Vinny was just a passenger. He trusted me to get him out and you stole the money. If they hadn't gotten a deal to play for the Sheriff and do face paintings they could still be in jail."

She was pretty silent most of the way home. She was doing what Daria does best, thinking.

"I'll tell them you left me with the band!"

"Go ahead. I don't care. I didn't steal four hundred dollars. They can't ground Vinny and I'll still see him at school if they do ground me. You can't steal four hundred dollars and blow it on a stupid cowboy."

"But, but, Daria! I'll tell them about that drawing thingy he did."

Helen's not going to like that.

Daria leans closer trying to intimidate Quinn. "What drawing?"

"The one I showed you!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Daria glances at Vinny for a second.

"No idea either."

"Daria!"

"No! You're not getting out of this with cute looks or being popular. You, stole, four hundred, dollars. There are consequences for your actions."

"But I got most of it back!"

"You could have gotten double back it doesn't change the fact you stole my best friends money! He trusted me with it to get him and his brother out of jail and you stole it." Daria looks at the clock over the mantle. "Mom and dad will be home soon. I'm sure you'll have time to make up an excuse for what you did."

Whoa, Daria is getting a little mean. "I, uh, should go."

Daria's head snaps towards him. "You're not leaving until you get all of your money back."

Eep!

Less than an hour later the Morgendorffer's did return. "Oh, hi Vinny, how are you today?"

"Good Mrs. Morgendorffer." He had been sitting on the couch, where Daria told him to sit, watching television. "How was your trip?"

Helen starts going on about the waste of time most of it was when Daria starts dragging Quinn down the stairs.

Please let me leave before this starts. He starts to stand up when Daria glares at him and he freezes.

"Mom!"

"Daria? What's wrong?"

"Quinn, tell her." Daria shoves Quinn towards Helen.

"Daria, that is not acceptable behavior."

"Neither is stealing four hundred dollars. Is it, Quinn?"

"I said I was sorry!"

Helen's eyes go wide. "What?!"

Quinn turns and starts the water works. "I had to help Daria go out to Fremont to bail Vinny and his friends out of jail but I accidentally spent the bail money."

"It wasn't an accident. She stole the money and gave it to a cowboy she picked up."

"Wait, Quinn was driving or you were driving?"

"Quinn was because I'm not as good of a driver as she is. I know she's not old enough but Vinny was in trouble because one of the Mystic Spiral band members was speeding. He was a passenger and had nothing to do with what happened to get him in jail. I was his one call, he trusted me to get the bail money to him, and Quinn stole it." Daria sighs. "I don't care if you ground me for letting Quinn drive. This is not something she should get away with."

"If she stole the money how is Vinny here and not there?" She looks at Vinny and waits for an answer.

Vinny squirms a little. "The Sheriff, his daughter, it was her birthday. The clown they hired never showed up so he let the band play and let me do face painting for the party." She can't ground me. But she can punish Daria.

Quinn gets Helen's attention focused on her again. "I got most of the money back! It isn't like I still owe him the full four hundred!" She explains how she and Daria scammed the bar.

Helen is silent as she processes all the information thrown at her.

She turns first to Daria. "Daria, you let Quinn drive because she is the better driver. That was a wise choice, even if she doesn't have her license. You wanted to make sure you got there safely and still don't trust your driving skills."

She next turns to Vinny. "You trusted my daughter with a lot of money. You were just the passenger but I'm sure you learned a lesson about the law. All in a party are guilty even if they had nothing to do with what happened other than being there."

She turns to Quinn last. "You stole his money and somehow got some of it back. It doesn't matter in the eyes of the law, stealing is stealing."

"But, they, they left me with the band and drove home without me!"

Dammit, that's going to bite us on the ass isn't it?

"They were probably worried you'd steal the money again. Quinn, you have to understand, stealing a candy bar or four hundred dollars, is still stealing. You are lucky that Vinny here doesn't want to press charges." Helen's look makes Vinny nod quickly.

"But, it, Vinny and Daria are dating! They're lying about it! I saw the drawing he did of them!"

Daria shouts at Quinn. "We're not dating! He's just a friend!"

Be quiet Daria! Your anger is what gets you in trouble.

"Quinn, you are in a lot of trouble. I can't understand how you thought it was ok to steal this money. This is a problem you've had before and I hoped you'd grow out of it. You get one of our cards and we tell you to buy one thing and you end up spending hundreds. Now you've spent hundreds that wasn't yours."

I shouldn't be here. This is a family thing and I'm not family.

Helen turns back to Vinny. "I'm sorry my other daughter was irresponsible with your money. She will pay back all of it. Not counting the money you got from the bar."

"But mom! That's four hundred dollars!"

"Yes, yes it is." Helen seethes as she tries to stay calm. "You are grounded until it is paid off. After that you will be on probation."

"Daria never would have gotten there if it wasn't for me! I've been driving since I was tall enough to reach the pedal."

Vinny watches the way Helen's face twitched. Shut your mouth Quinn if you want to live.

"Which I'm wondering. How? I've never taken you out for driving lessons."

"Duh! What do you think people do on dates?"

Helen stares and Quinn throws her hands up. "Fine! Just ruin my life!" She stomps loudly up the stairs to her room slamming the door behind her.

Can I go now? Please, Daria, let me go. He looks out the corner of his eye towards the door.

Helen takes a few deep breaths. "Vinny, I'm sorry for Quinn's actions. I should have done something about the way she spends money. This has been a problem I hoped she would grow out of."

"Mrs. Morgendorffer, it isn't your fault. Look at Daria. She's turned out great. She, I mean, I knew she was scared of driving but I still called her knowing she would do anything for me." Crap. Rephrase that. "Because we're friends."

"And I know how to get into your house without a key."

"That too." Please lighten the mood. My house never gets like this.

"Daria, where is this money you got from the bar?"

Daria fishes the money out of her jacket pocket and holds it out. "You and Quinn got this much working together?" Daria nods. "What you did could be considered a Class C Felony."

She's a lawyer. She'd know.

"I could send it back. If Quinn hadn't stolen the money I never would have had to do it in the first place."

"Vinny, Daria, come here."

Vinny realizes how stiff his body was. He had been frozen with fear and panic not sure what was going to happen. He still couldn't relax.

When both teens are in front of Helen, she puts a hand on each of their outer shoulders. "Are you more than friends?"

Vinny finally loosens up. "No, we're just friends. Best friends, but friends."

He is concerned when Helen lets go of his shoulder but not Daria's. "Vinny, take what you need from what Daria and Quinn got to get you through the week. I'll make sure Quinn starts earning the rest and that you get payments until what she owes you is paid off."

"Thank you Mrs. Morgendorffer."

She smiles at him. "Please, call me Helen. You've known me for a year now. I think you should know my name by now."

"Um, ok Helen. Uh, thank you. I need, um," Vinny looks at what was in Daria's hand and grabs a few twenty's off the pile.

"Have a good night Vinny. Tell Trent hello as well."

"Yes Mrs., er, Helen." Vinny scurries as fast as he can out of the Morgendorffer house.

A/N I know in the show they played it off, got the money back, whatever. But am I the only one who noticed Quinn stole HUNDREDS of dollars? It wasn't hers, or her parents', or even Daria's. Yet she stole it and acted like it wasn't a big deal. It was one of the things I wanted to "fix" when doing this. You can't steal hundreds of dollars and not expect to get in trouble for it. Anyways, wait til next time!