Sunday, the seventeenth of September dawned, cloudless, windless and chilly. It was very autumnal indeed. The first frost had not come yet, but was due soon. The days were getting noticeably shorter, and Danny did not mind. The Upper Midwest was his home, so the cold and dark in the waning year was normal to him. He was in no position to have such strong feelings on something so trivial. Normally, he would not have cared about something as simple as the amount of daylight, but this was different. It was not just a new day dawning, it was a new chapter, a new part in the story of his life. He had been enlightened to his (and Dash's) full potential.
Some thoughts passed him by in wakefulness, but all were disregarded in that beautiful realm of sleep. He was in that second way, asleep, and resting like he had never rested before. His mind was not yet awake, so his body took control of restoring itself. His flesh found his present condition quite favorable. His mind did too.
The temperature of the room was just right, so were the bedclothes, and his pajamas. Danny had that exquisite feeling of taking a long hot bath between heading to sleep on freshly laundered sheets. His body relaxed in a way that it had not known since before the accident. He actually seemed to be resting. His ghost half was not changed in its constant energy, but his body was demanding, and rightly taking some rest. He did not want to admit it, but when he and Dash shared the bed, he was a bit restless. Sure, he fell asleep, but even his sleep was in a state of excitement. Dash's presence excited him in many ways, platonic, romantic, and even in a way of admiration. Every time, he had gone to sleep with Dash, there was some energy there that was never used up the way it should have been. He knew that something in him needed release, release and satisfaction.
Even in the moments that preceded true wakefulness, he felt a sort of unconscious excitement. This made sleep seem so trivial to him that he did it just to seem normal, just to conform. Don't get me wrong, his body still craved sleep as everyone's did, more so in death. He clung onto his sheets and wanted to see how long he could remain there in the comfort of his bed. Besides, if he did not sleep and his family sensed activity at all hours, he would draw even more suspicion. So, he slept. This time he knew it was different, he felt like he someone had put him there. He felt like he had been tucked into bed.
"Wait a second..." Danny thought sitting up slightly, it occurring to him that this felt too good, "How did I get to bed last night?"
"No, seriously." Danny asked aloud. "Last thing I remember was being down in the basement, in the lab. How did I get up here?"
He looked to his left and right, something telling him that the answer would be around. The nightstand caught his attention. It was not the nightstand actually, but what was on top of it. His alarm was in its correct place. It was the piece of paper, folded in half, and made to stand like a tent. Whoever put it there wanted it to be noticed. He saw his name on it, written in neat, but no doubt, bold and masculine penmanship. It was an impressive cursive that he did not recognize, but felt he would not mind getting to know. It did not match the near calligraphic standards of Sam's hand. It was entirely too neat to be Tucker's doing. His writing resembled Arabic script in Danny's opinion, quite calligraphic and decorative, but not in any way in English iconography.
Danny sure as hell knew his writing, and that of his mother, father and sister. Besides he would not write a note to himself as he had a photographic memory. His parents would just barge into the room, much to his ire, if they needed to convey something of import. At times, he knew he got really lucky, as he was mere moments, maybe only seconds from going online and viewing some 'visual viagra'. Sometimes the browser was already open. The other usual option was that they would want to talk after he had only finished up twenty or thirty seconds before. The immediate ripples of carnal pleasure may have usually subsided within in his flesh, but he would find himself feeling grossed out, as if he was actually caught. The only person he could bare catching him in that position would be Dash (in fact, that was a fantasy of his). Jazz, if she wanted to talk, would knock and only when vocal permission was granted, or simply send a text.
Half, well, maybe a solid third of him wanted to leave the paper there because it was so stately. He wanted to leave it, almost as a mystery, a bit of innocent excitement in his life. That larger part of him wanted, no, needed to see what the mystery note was. He grabbed it gingerly, reaching to the slate gray nightstand on his left. He sat completely up, his back resting on the headboard. He leaned on the pillow as a cushion for his back. He read it quietly to himself, not knowing who it was from or what the hell it would say. It read:
Hey,
You fell asleep in my arms when you transformed back to you normal (cute) self. I carried you into your bedroom, and got you into some comfortable clothes to sleep in. Hope you don't mind. :) I swear I didn't do anything weird. I only gave you a kiss on the cheek.
Don't worry about our date. It'll happen when it happens. Call me when you wake up.
-Your boyfriend Dash
P.S. You get cuter every time I see you.
Danny hugged the letter to his chest, knowing it was his first verifiable proof of this relationship. He knew it was real, but now it written down onto paper. It was on something physical that he could cherish forever, and for that he was grateful. He folded it, just as it was and reached over to the nightstand again. He opened the little drawer underneath the table surface, and put the letter right on top a moderately sized black box, which fit inside the compartment perfectly, and left a couple of inches on top for easy closure. The drawer seemed small from the outside, but was much deeper than perceptible to most. The content of the black, metal box, which amounted to a small safe, was top secret. It was locked then, and even the location of the key was 'classified'. Even Sam and Tucker had no clue of what was stored in the safe, or that it even existed. He was the only person who knew its contents, as he had been the one to acquire and store them, but he knew that it would not remain that way forever. The note remained on top temporarily.
He was going to probably by a binder, a notebook, or some sort of album to put it in. He would have framed it, if it would not have aroused attention. So, he put it there in a special place, nearby, but not readily visible, known but not seen. Danny would have never thought that he would be so schmaltzy, so saccharine, but Dash made him this way. Danny craved Dash's company like nothing else. He once thought that he could survive on the friendly relationships he had with Sam and Tucker. And, to be fair, he did. Dash ruined that for him. First, by parading around with his undeniably handsome face. Then, by presenting his physique to Danny through the clothes. Then, by showing Danny his body, excepting the sexual parts. Danny wanted this bad. He wanted this to work, and that little letter gave him hope that it would. He did not know what would be on the horizon. All he knew was that Dash would be alongside. That gave him great comfort.
He felt another overwhelming sense of freedom from cutting the relationship completely with Sam and Tucker. He knew that he did not have to, meaning he was in no way obligated to help them. He knew, however, that this way the only way to make a clean break with them. He owed them nothing and they had no debts to him. He had been slightly traumatized, being made to grab Tucker that way, but sleep had removed the ill feelings. He simply viewed this as his way to be made free of the burden of their company. The door of their friendship had been shut, but none of the three could say definitively if it was locked.
Danny got up and out of bed, to piss and freshen himself up. He went right back into his room and rummaged through his pockets to find his phone. He wanted to talk to him, but something told him not to call. So, he texted.
Danny: hey
Dash: hey can't talk rn. in church
Danny: K
Dash: i'll b out in 15 mins
So, Danny waited for fifteen minutes, then twenty, and then twenty-five before his phone started ringing. Danny looked down and saw the familiar name and answered on the third ring. No need to seem desperate.
"Hello." Danny answered, his voice still gruff from lack of use that day. "You home yet?"
"Yeah I'm in my room, still in this suit though. I hope you got my note."
"I did." Danny answered, imagining that Dash was very handsome in a suit (or a tux). He continued to speak, "And thanks for helping my out. I was tired, like supernaturally tired after that yesterday. I just remember you telling me to transform back to human form and then I woke up this morning."
"Well that's basically what happened. You're pretty light though, so lifting and carrying you was easy." Dash answered.
"Well, you have those big strong arms." Danny commented. "And thanks for changing me into some comfortable clothes."
"I couldn't put you in bed with jeans and sneakers on." Dash answered.
"Well, thanks. Sam and Tucker definitely dumped me here in my street clothes before."
"Well, I'm never gonna dump you. in any way at any time." Dash answered.
"Dashie?" They both knew that Danny was the only person on Earth who could get away with calling him that. Dash hated when any other person said it, but something about the timbre and tone of Danny's voice made it okay.
"Yes?"
"Are you okay with all of this?" Danny asked just about the vaguest question possible.
"Wh-"
"I mean," Danny sat up in his bed. "All that stuff that Clockwork was saying yesterday. I mean, I can barely wrap my mind around it. I mean he was talking about end times and great battles between good and evil. He was talking about the gap between the physical and Ghost Zones closing. I mean he was talking about the walls between humanity and spirituality coming down. You know, us being so-called kings of entire planes of existence."
"I mean. I don't have a choice but to be at peace with it. If I can't change it, I don't see any need in fighting it." Dash answered coolly. "And I don't feel any different than I did yesterday, or a week ago. I'm fine/
"I mean… It's not fair, to you. You only entered this whole thing to be my boyfriend and now you have the weight of not just the world, but two worlds on your shoulders. I don't know how you can be so calm."
Dash spoke in an eloquence that made Danny's heart melt and made his mind burn with hope, admiration, and a reasonable portion of desire. "I have borne a lot of weight in my life. I have had baggage with me from the start, but I dropped it when you came around, when you really came into my life as someone that'll stay. I dropped hiding in the closet and yearning for you. I can carry the world on my shoulders if it means I can be with you. It doesn't feel so heavy anymore. It doesn't feel so heavy anymore. Besides, I know that you are doing this with me, that you're always beside me, and that's enough for me."
"Wow…" Danny remarked, astonished that anyone would take the time to think that way about him. "I don't know what to say…"
"I'm sorry…" Dash's voice dripping in sincerity, "I didn't mean to get so mushy… It's just when I talk to you and think about you, all my messiness and mushiness comes out."
"It's okay. I get butterflies when I talk to you too. I just didn't know that you had a poet in you."
"I didn't either." Dash remarked, "I just get all mushy inside when I think about you. I was never taught to express that right."
"No one ever was." Danny answered him sympathetically.
"So, you know what…" Dash answered. "I gonna try. I don't think I'm going to be any good at it, but I'm gonna give it a shot."
"Me too." Danny answered, at a loss for words. "I want to be better at making how I felt known. I have hidden my feelings for long enough Dash… I already have to hide my other nature, but I'm tired of hiding and lying about the things people ought to know."
"Good."
Danny continued, first, with the phrase that always displayed his anxiety or excitement, "I mean, it's the twenty-first century. I'm committed to you like nothing I have ever committed to before. When I died and went through that hell and agony, I thought of it as duty to go to work and do the best for my town. But this is not like this. I want this so bad. I have wanted this for so long. I'm enthusiastic about you. I want to be with you, more than I want anything else."
"Oh?" Dash answered finding himself blushing and swelling a bit.
"I want to be with you and I want people to know it." Danny said.
"Oh?"
Danny's voice grew smaller, but remained even with a quiet certitude and resolve that made Dash's spine straighten, his skin tingle, and his hair stand up, "I think I'm gonna come out to my parents."
"Whoa… really?"
"Yes," Danny said. "And I'm not saying that I need you to come out to your folks till your ready."
"But… really... for me? We've only been at this thing for a couple of weeks and I still haven't taken you on a proper date. We still haven't gone to see that movie, or you know, gone out to an Italian place and ended up sharing a spaghetti noodle…"
"With or without you…" Danny said, "I'm still gay as hell. I just want to do my gayness with you."
"You might not even like gay sex. You might like the idea, but might, you know, not be really into the flesh on flesh physical stuff."
"Well," Danny started, "From the experience I have given myself, I have a pretty good idea of what my body likes. A girl doesn't have the required parts to fulfill that. They're too… uh squishy… Besides I think sooner or later you will prove it to me beyond a reasonable doubt, by showing me your ample gayness. I just want to do it with you."
"Yes. Me too. I want to do my gayness with you." Dash said, "Though, if we're honest that sounds like a euphemism."
"Do our gayness to and with each other?" Danny whispered, "Yeah, that sounds like code."
"Not a very good one." Dash answered before they settled into a silence that was called comfort.
"Where are you?" Danny interjected, "I know it's random, but-"
"I'm in my room, chilling on my bed, thinking about being with you."
"And what are you wearing?"
"Still wearing my suit from church."
"And what does it look like?"
"It's a black suit, kinda like onyx I think they call it. I'm wearing an white shirt, my parents got it while they were away. Wearing a solid red tie, too."
Danny asked, "Is the suit cut, you know, modern?"
"Modern?"
"You know, tight?"
"Well, yeah…" Dash answered.
"The slacks too?" Danny's voice sounded, hushed, almost breathless.
"Yes." Dash did not know quite what was going on, but he liked it. He wondered to himself if that was what Danny sounded like in the heat of passion. He knew that he would find out before years end, maybe as a birthday or Christmas present.
"So you mean if I saw you right now, I could see your muscles through the suit?"
"Danny, are you… hot and bothered over there?" Dash asked, reveling in how this conversation turned. Danny was coming out of his shell, more confident and freer, more sexual too. And Horny Danny is good Danny
"Maybe," Danny answered. He was lying. It looked like Danny had a model of a space shuttle under his sheets. He kept his hands from under there, knowing that if they ventured lower, he would not be able to stop himself. Danny was also blushing furiously. His head tilted back in desire, knowing that, for at least the present, it would remain unsated.
"Just don't go creaming those clean pajamas."
"And, why not?" Danny asked, "They're mine, and I do my own laundry. So what's wrong with that? My life, my decision, and besides I haven't had time to... lately."
"So, you should save it. Don't waste it in some sweatpants where it'll go unappreciated."
"Oh, and when was the last time you came?"
"That's irrelevant," Dash answered, quickly, but with a good humor that was registered by the other. Danny chuckled a bit as Dash continued, "What I care about is that you leave it alone. You're too eager to drop a load, let it build up first. And no cheating in the shower Fenton, I'll be able to tell."
"Tell?" Danny asked, "I doubt it. It's going to be a while before you'll know what this is all about."
"Fine, I can wait." Dash said.
"But not for as long as it takes us to get physical." Danny replied.
"Why not?" Dash answered.
"Don't do that to yourself. It would only do you damage." Danny stopped his boyfriend before he got himself into a world of yearning, and burning for release. That sounded romantic to him, but that was not how riend from embarking on that dangerous path called blue balls.
"I wasn't going to, but you gotta keep calm. We can't afford you getting all excited everytime we speak on the phone. I mean, we still have a school year to get through. It's only still September. Cool your tits, Fenton."
"You're right. But Dash, how're we going to do this?"
"Do what?"
"I mean, keep this thing together. I want this, us, to work. I kinda been wanting this for too long for this not to work out. I mean, we have classes together, so we can't talk then. And I know that we uh… no… I know we can't. Neither of us can afford for the school to know this."
"I guess before and after school are our only options." Dash remarked.
"I guess."
"But, look at it this way, dude," Dash had not actually realized the new moniker he gave Danny, "there are more hours in the day that we could have together than be in school."
"Most of that time will be spent sleeping."
"Not if I have anything to do with it." Dash fired that out as if he had been waiting to say it.
"You talk a big game." Danny answered bag, licking his lips, before deciding to bite the bottom one.
"I have the parts to match." Dash was full of innuendo. Any sort of absolution he may have received at church was gone, for he was having dirty, dirty thoughts.
"You do have the parts to match your ego, I agree. I don't know how I'm going to handle that fucking monster when the time comes. You have the heart to match too."
"Well, thank you…" Dash answered, disgruntled that the first part of Danny's prior comments were only words at this point.
"I'm serious. That ripped physique and gruff personality are just protecting that big mush-mush of a heart you have. You're a big softy, and probably a romantic."
"No pressure. I guess." Dash exhaled ironically.
Danny chuckled.
"I'm serious, though," Dash started again, "Please dont expect too much of me. I'm just a human being. I can't be perfect all the time. I'm gonna be stupid and make mistakes, and hurt your feelings. And you'll do the same."
"I'm not asking you to be perfect. Just be you."
"That's what I want to do. I uh… was thinking about trying to live my life on my terms too. I... uh... was going to talk to Kwan this afternoon… I want my friend back." Dash said. "And I kinda want him back knowing everything about me. And I want for he and your sister to get together. It would remove the people who would interrupt, distract them."
"You're gonna come out?"
"I never really liked that term, but yeah… I've been thinking about it for dour days now and I finally worked up the nerve."
"Good luck, Dash."
Kwan looked down at his phone. 'D-Unit' is what it said. Kwan chuckled a little bit, remembering when he first programmed that into his phone. He remembered when he thought, when they both thought that would be a cool nickname for Dash, but it was silly now. Rapidly approaching adulthood made the name seem so trivial, too Midwestern (trying to be 'cool'). If Kwan remembered correctly, Dash had him as 'K-Faction' in his contacts. Whatever the case, Kwan was relieved and delighted to see that Dash was calling. He had felt like they were drifting apart. Dash was always spaced out, it seemed, and he wanted his friend back. Kwan knew him too well, Dash only got all spacey when he was interested in someone romantically, which was rare for him.
Kwan wanted to talk to him, and there were multiple reasons. Firstly, and most selfishly, Kwan had seen her again. Jazz that is. She had been gone for the first week, but now she was back, and he was tongue-tied. He had wanted to say to Dash that he was working up the nerve to speak to her. Well, he was working up the balls to be in the same space with her without freaking out and (literally) running away. Secondly, he wanted to call to make sure that Dash was okay. As previously stated, Kwan noticed a markedly different Dash at the lunch table. Dash did not seem interested in talking, and Kwan, for his part, humored his silence. Kwan did this for multiple reasons as well. He was one of the 'cool' kid who seemed to just fit in. As such, it would not have been socially correct for him to show an interest in someone who was obviously uninterested in speaking. Kwan's other reason, was actually more important. He had still been a little pissed at Dash for repeatedly blowing him off in the summer. Kwan had realized how childish that was and had put that aside.
Kwan's concern for his friend's wellbeing made him forget his anger and made it all seem trivial. He was over it now, and his attention turned back to his friend, his best friend. He was worried that Dash was going to 'kill himself'. He was not worried that the quarterback was going to shoot himself, or do anything that drastic. He was simply concerned that Dash was going to run himself ragged, by being so wrapped up in his thoughts. He had also seen that Dash had been over-exercising in gym. Kwan knowing Dash, that could only mean two things: trouble or love. Whichever, Kwan wanted to know, so he could be there.
Kwan had been sitting in bed, doing nothing but skiving away his Sunday, waiting for the prison of school the next day. He had played some video games, took a break to play himself (just being honest), and was now back to playing some game about stealing cars or something like that. He was clothed only in a t-shirt, a pair of Casper High gym shorts, and some clean white socks. He had grown his hair out a bit, and it suited his strong features. He sat on the side edge of his bed and looked to the television mounted on the opposite wall. His room was spacious, just like Dash's because he lived in the same neighborhood of large houses. His walls, save for the tv, were painted white and clear of posters or any other youthful paraphernalia. He has wooden floors in his room, which he took pains to keep clean and waxed.
The room was almost laboratory clean, but still, somehow, felt lived in. It was in this room that Kwan would take the phone call to change what he knew.
"Hello," Kwan answered, putting the phone on his shoulder and leaning his head in to talk. He kept his controller in hand as he continued his virtual mayhem.
"Yeah, Kwan," Dash answered, "We, uh, need to talk."
"Yeah," Kwan heard a seriousness in Dash's voice that he had never heard,
"Not on the phone. It's serious. We need to talk face to face, someplace private."
"Sure," Kwan had paused the game to hold the phone more easily. "Um, my parents are out until late tonight. You should come over."
"I'll be there in ten."
"Sure."
It took Dash eleven minutes to arrive at K's place. He parked on the street in front, not wanting to block the driveway. You know, just in case Kwan's parents came home early. He walked up the garden path, to the cream-colored Federal Colonial house with the stone blue shutters. It was three stories, and Dash had always thought that it was prettier than his house. He also wondered what they did with the rest of the space. Only three people lived there, but they had plenty of room.
"First-world problems," Dash thought to himself as he got to the door. He rang the bell, which sounded the Westminster chimes. Kwan appeared and let Dash in. Kwan inspected his friend, and he looked... stronger. It looked to him as if Dash's muscles were bigger and showed more through his letterman jacket and jeans. Dash still looked, normal and healthy, but he looked even more the perfect physical specimen than before. Maybe he was imagining things...
"Hey Dash," Kwan kept his distance, not knowing quite how to greet him, "You sounded serious over the phone." Kwan shut the door behind him, bristling at the relative coldness that drafted in.
"We should sit down," Dash said, almost seeming to command the events. Dash had gotten himself into team captain mode.
Kwan recognized this demeanor and listened. He guided Dash to the dining room, as it fit the mood. The living room seemed to alive for the seriousness that was dripping off of Dash at that moment.
Dash sat down at the side of the grand wooden table, leaving the head of the table because he was not invited to sit there.
"Do you want something to drink?" Kwan asked, "Water? Soda? Cough Syrup?"
"What?" Dash asked.
"Sorry, just trying to make a joke. You're acting more serious than Lancer right now. It's fucking tense bro." Kwan answered defensively.
"No, I'm sorry, and that water sounds like a good idea." Dash answered.
"And maybe a spliff." Kwan thought.
"Some weed isn't a bad idea, man." Dash answered.
"Wait what?" Kwan answered.
"I said that spliff you offered ain't a bad idea. I'm on edge man."
"I mean…" Kwan started, "I didn't think I said that out loud. Like it was like I joke… I didn't know I said it.."
"What?!" Dash asked, completely perplexed by his friend.
"Nothing,"Kwan said, "It's nothing."
Dash watched as Kwan disappeared into the kitchen. He sat and twiddled his thumbs, forgetting that awkward exchange. Soon, Kwan came back with a tray in hand. On said tray, a glass pitcher of ice water, two empty glasses, and two coasters. Kwan sat across from him and poured them some water. He handed Dash a glass and a coaster. Kwan took a casual sip. Dash chugged the whole glass and nearly choked on the ice. Kwan raised an eyebrow, but thought and said nothing.
Dash started when he caught his breath. He wiped his brow, and despite the relative cool of the room, he was sweating bullets.
"I," Dash started, "I haven't been a good friend lately. I've been ignoring you. We haven't properly talked since last month."
"No, not since July." Kwan corrected.
"Yes," Dash nodded, "You're right. I have been sorta… no, not sorta… I have been neglecting our friendship. It was totally my fault. I been… drifting away and I want you to know that it was not your fault. It had nothing to do with you, it was totally me. Totally. And I'm sorry. You're my best friend, and it was wrong of me to be so spacey. I apologize."
"Apology accepted, and I should've you know, made more of an effort to see what was going on." Kwan acknowledged his part (though really small) in this whole thing.
There and then the two quashed the idea that football players had not emotions or manners.
"But Dash," Kwan went on, "I know you. I know you too well for that to be the only reason you came here. You're having an anxiety attack or some shit. You're either like… in love or in trouble… maybe both."
"I guess you know me well, huh?"
"Of course I do. Since we were two man. You only get like this when you want to tell people something. And not something small, like you got an 'A' on a test."
"Well," Dash said, "Promise you won't freak out."
"Dash," Kwan started, "You know me well. You know that not many things phase me. But, um… seeing you freak out like this, doesn't mean that I won't."
"I appreciate the honesty in that." Dash said, "You always very straight with me and that's why we're friends."
"So what is it?" Kwan asked me, "I mean it can't be that bad. The cops haven't bust down my door yet. Wait… are they going too?" Kwan asked with a comical sort of innocence that Dash had shed long ago.
"No." Dash answered plainly.
"Okay, you're not in trouble, at least not that kind of trouble." Kwan remarked with genuine relief.
"No."
"So?"
Dash looked his friend in the eye. His blue eyes were piercing into Kwan's deep green ones. Kwan would have usually folded under such pressure, but he saw the look and Dash's eyes. The only word for it: fear. Kwan, then, mentally put on some armor. It was like he was on the football field and saw trepidation in the eyes of the enemy. There was no need to look away from a scared enemy. There was no excuse to look away from a frightened friend.
Dash started, "We played in the sandbox together. We went through elementary, and middle school together. We're almost done with high school. You've known me all my life. I mean you know more about me than anyone, my parents included. I mean, we have secrets. We've, you know, covered for each other."
"Of course," Kwan assured him, "That's what friends do. They have each other's backs."
"Right." Dash sort of wagged his pointer finger, "What I'm saying is that I always trusted you with my secrets and you always trusted me."
"I still do." Kwan said instantly, almost instinctively, "Especially in that place called Caper High. That place is Hell on Earth."
"Thank you, I am glad you still trust me, even though I've been a shitty friend."
Kwan countered, "The fact that you are here right now making amends is why I trust you. So just tell me what it is. You look like you're about to have have a heart attack."
"Kwan, what do… what do you think of me?"
"What?"
"When you see me, what do you see?" Dash's brain was trying to find a way to get him to say the words.
"I see Dash."
"And who is Dash?" Dash asked, the question was more directed at himself. "Who am I? What am I?"
"That's up to Dash to decide." Kwan answered, accessing some wisdom from far beyond his years, "But right now, above all other things, he looks afraid. I don't know what the fuck it is, but I need you to spit it out before you fucking pass out!"
"I'm sorry." Dash replied, focusing on his friend.
"Just say it." Kwan said. "I already know it." Kwan thought
"Know what?" Dash asked.
"What?!" Kwan asked.
"You said, 'I already know.' I asked, 'what do you know?'
"Dash, I didn't say that out loud. I only thought it, but you seem to be all psychic-y today." Kwan shrugged it off as coincidence. Dash, knowing more about himself, his destiny, and his fate, put that fact in storage. He would unpack it with his boyfriend later.
"But, what do you know?" Dash asked. "Or what do you think you know?"
"I don't know. So why don't you just be straight with me and tell me?"
Dash chuckled nervously, and scratched the back of his head. "Fuck it," Dash thought, "Might as well just tell him." His voice cracked at bit "Ummm… I…"
"Yes?"
Dash said the two words with a surprisingly level tone, "I'm gay." Without missing beat, Dash tensed up, held his breath, and studied his friend's reaction. Kwan was unmoved. His face showed no sign of… anything. That petrified Dash like nothing else. Kwan sat there, he leaned back a bit, grabbed his glass of water and took a sip. He put the glass back down on the coaster.
Finally, Kwan opened his mouth to speak, and did so with a sigh of relief, "Finally…"
"What?" Dash asked, finally breathing again, "You knew?"
"I'm your best friend, of course I fucking knew." Kwan responded, as if Dash had told him his preference for dinner"I said in trouble or in love. You dating anyone?"
Dash felt like a million pounds had been lifted off of his shoulders. Someone who he knew and loved dearly, well, knew everything. Dash felt a mixture of exhilaration and relief. His mind was racing, almost high from the experience. He felt like a million dollars, no one could stop him. He felt so happy that he almost felt like crying. Almost. Dash also felt like he was opening up another chapter of his life, a new volume of his story.
Dash snapped back to reality, his voice bashful. "Yeah, I uh have a boyfriend."
"Fenton?" Kwan asked.
"Umm how did you know?" Dash asked, not in excitement and surprise. His voice was meek and shy. Luckily enough for Kwan, that was the part of Dash that he knew better than even Dash's parents. Kwan remembered this Dash and had always done his utmost to protect him. Kwan had acted like extra thorns that protected the rose of Dash's sensitivity. Dash had thorns of his own, but Kwan was his support system.
"Well," Kwan started, "The two were fucking every morning in the hallway. Don't worry, everybody just saw the 'bullying'." Kwan did air quotes, "But, I knew, and could see that you two were just 'rough-flirting'. And since I was the person who spoke to you the most over the years. You were obsessed with him. I remember in one conversation we had… I remembered because I counted. You said 'Fenton' fifty-five times in a thirty minute conversation."
"Did I do that?" Dash asked, thinking back.
"Yup." Kwan answered.
"When did you figure out-"
"I can't tell you. I mean, I just figured it out. It was just part of the Dash package. I could tell that girls don't interest you in the slightest. Every type, build, shape, and shade of girl in that place throw themselves at you. I don't know if you're repulse-"
"No, they're just sorta there." Dash answered shrugging. "I mean some of them are pretty and whatever, but pretty doesn't do anything for me."
"And I saw it years ago," Kwan answered. "You're my friend and who you want to sleep with was none of my business. I knew that I was never one of those people you wanted to sleep with-"
"Eww." Dash said, stunned by the notion, "Are you fucking kidding me. It would be like sleeping with my brother. Besides, you're not my type. My type is-"
"Fenton," Kwan cut him off. "
"Danny…" Dash exhaled with innocent longing. He had completely relaxed, by this point. A yoke had been removed from about his neck, and he felt an overwhelming freedom. He felt like he had been given license to be himself. He felt liberated to just exist in a way that didn't feel like hell warmed up.
"How long have you been dating?" Kwan asked, seeing a joy on Dash's face that he had never seen before. Dash's face was usually like stone. Chiseled and handsome, but austere and unmoving. The emotion that was pouring like a mighty stream was Dash. It was the real Dash. Kwan was watching his friend bloom into the beauty he was. That gave the Kwan a feeling of satisfaction. Yes, Kwan felt a warm, fuzzy feeling of excitement, grinning, and relief for the boy, the gay boy, sitting across from him. Kwan was smiling, grinning, and he was not in control of it.
"For a couple of weeks now, but we haven't gotten the chance to go on a proper date yet… Slept together a few times-"
"Wait what... sex?" Kwan asked, his smile fading only a bit.
"Oh God no… I mean actual sleep. His parents were out of town and he said he was lonely so we…"
"Wait, wait, wait," Kwan's smile resumed its positions on his face, "You were in the same bed with someone you've been crushing on since forever and you did nothing. And I mean, he had been into you too. You shared a bed?"
"His bed." Dash added.
"Wow," Kwan said, "You, that's a big deal."
"He's not ready yet, and I can wait for as long as he needs. I think it makes it that much more special if we wait."
Kwan was wide-eyed, "You really, really like him."
Dash's voice was serious, and commanding."This, he, is the best thing that has ever happened to me," Dash started, "I'm not going to fuck this up. I want him, need him like nothing else in this world. He fucking like completes me man. I felt like a fucking nothing before I knew I could have him. He makes me happier than I ever could've imagined."
Dash was still alpha male in Kwan's eyes. He was the biggest and strongest of anyone in the school. But, at the end of the day, even alpha need some love. Dash had found that in Danny. Again, Kwan found himself at a loss for words. Dash had blossomed truly into the emotional creature that was humanity. However, school was not humane. It was the opposite of civilization, and something as sensitive Dash's secret could not just be thrown to the wolves. Kwan made a pact with himself to defend Dash in anyway he could. He couldn't watch his friend, fully come into his own and then be crucified. He would be defending Dash as he had been doing for so long.
"Umm.." Dash started, "If you figured it out, does the team-"
"They don't have a clue, don't worry about that. I covered for you." Kwan answered.
"Covered?"
"Well," Kwan started, "When you weren't around, they would come around and talk about how you didn't have a girlfriend and how you didn't seem interested in 'Amity bitches'."
"Oh?"
"So I told them that you don't date girls from our school. I told them that you don't like the baggage of having to see the chicks after you hump them and dump them. I told them you got girls from other schools and other towns, so that you can just fuck them, leave them, and never see them again."
"You did that for me?" Dash started.
"Of course. You're my friend and I wasn't going to let the football team fuck you… Uh, bad phrase."
Dash chuckled. "Don't worry. It was funny. I'm not some sensitive dweeb. Jokes and mistakes don't bother me. Piss, shit, and sex jokes still make me laugh/"
"Same old Dash?" K asked.
"Same old Dash." D confirmed.
"Good. Nothing's different, just something finally confirmed." Kwan remarked. "But I'm kinda disappointed."
"Why?" Dash sked curious, and knowing that the answer was going to be funny.
"I mean, I'm not gonna get the swishy, sassy now. I mean is Danny like that?"
"Well, he's not one of those 'fierce' types, but he's swishier than I am. Not too much though."
"Um dude, I'm straight and I have more 'swish-factor' than you. You walk around like a fucking soldier or cop or something. Sass is not your thing. And I bet you couldn't date someone like that either."
"Exactly." Dash answered before they fell into a comfortable, friendly.
Kwan perked up when a thought popped into his head, "Not trying to be all overly concerned, but is the locker room uncomfortable for you?"
"No, why would it be?"
"It's just that whole place is full of a bunch of dumb guys cracking jokes, and you know being weird."
"I genuinely laughed at the jokes," Dash answered, starting to smile and chuckle when he remembered one in particular, "Honestly, that one Kowalski told about the kielbasa and vaseline was pretty funny."
"So, the locker room ain't a problem?"
"No, I love it in there. Not like that. None of the people who occupy that place are even close to being my type. I'm good in there, especially since the rest of the school is located in hell."
"Okay, fair enough." Kwan said.
"Well," Dash started about his second objective, "How has romance been for you lately?"
"Dry."
"How dry?"
"Nothing." K sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back.
"Not even a handie?" Dash asked
"Nope." Kwan started, "Unless using your own hand counts. In that case, I'm Casanova."
"I bet if I looked at your internet history-" Dash started.
"You'd be grossed out or bored, or however you feel about lesbians." Kwan said, eyes still closed, speaking in a relaxed tone. It was truly back to the old days with Dash, talking about lesbian porn.
"Bored." Dash nodded in the affirmative. "And they need to shut up with all that woman moaning."
"Exactly, well, on you being bored." He sat up and opened his eyes again, "The second part, meaning the lesbians moaning, for the sake of our renewed friendship, let's agree to disagree."
"So," the gay teen started, pouring himself a new glass of water "You should try and get yourself a girlfriend. Not just a piece of ass either."
"You know the girl I like." Kwan's cheeks took on a slight red tinge, "You're dating her brother."
"And I am here to also tell you that you need to try with her."
Kwan's brow furrowed, "Why?"
"Because you like her." Dash stated in way that made the sentence sound incomplete.
"And…."
"She likes you, Kwan."
"How do you know, man? Like don't fuck with me, dude. Did she tell you?"
"No." Dash stated plainly.
"Then how do you know."
"She told him?"
"WHO?!" Kwan was excited.
"Danny."
The straight one spoke in fits and starts, "Oh shit, that means it's true. She didn't just say it to you so that you would like her. She actually- I… Wait, like I actually have a chance?"
"Yes. Just ask her, she'll say yes. And you two can have fun."
"I don't think of her like that." Kwan said, "I think of her the same way you think of Danny. The Fentons are our thing."
Dash nodded.
More comfortable silence between them.
"Yes, but I know you're jealous because I get the one with the dick." Dash chuckled.
"No thanks, I have one of my own." Kwan answered back quickly
"Yeah, so I get double the fun." Dash matched his wit and surpassed his brevity.
"Three holes versus two, Dash. The women win."
"Men don't have periods or PMS." Dash answered back.
"Women have tits to play with." Kwan replied.
"Men have balls to play with."
"Women are more flexible."
"Generally, yes, but Danny is gifted.
"Uh, Dash, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm curious-"
"Oh?" Dash eyes opened wide. "Maybe Danny could get that spit roasting he seems so interested in."
"No... as in asking questions." Kwan put an end to that speculation quickly.
"Oh."
"When you get to you know, the endzone with Danny are you like… giving or receiving?"
"Giving, but I wouldn't mind trying the other way around to see if I like it. Why?"
"Again, just curious."
"It's fine."
"It's…" Kwan started, knowing that he could not offend Dash, "I guess, I know what an asshole does and what come out of it and it skeeves me out a little. I guess I know what I put my though, especially with those school lunches"
"First things first, keep that thing in tip top shape. Actually it doesn't matter, you guys pixelate it anyway." Dash looked at Kwan, who was now laughing hysterically." I get it, I feel the same way about women. Thinking about what comes out of a vagina skeeves me out too."
"Fair enough."
"Man, I missed this, you and me, just shooting the breeze." Dash said.
"Non Sequitur shit, yup."
"I'm happy to have my friend back."
"Me too." Kwan nodded, "So when are we gonna all hang out? You, me, your boy, and my girl?"
"Well, she ain't your girl till you walk up to here and say," Dash started his killer impression of Kwan, here in bold, "Hey babe, is there something in your eye? She'll ask what it is and then you can say 'It's just a sparkle.'
Kwan scoffed, "That's fucking dreadful."
It was Dash's turn to laugh.
Kwan was actually a little irked that the pickup line was so bad, "Like bro, that is so fucking… just yuck. I hope that cheesy stuff didn't work on Danny."
Dash shrugged, smirked, and spoke still amused, "Maybe…"
"Really."
"No," Dash became serious, "But all you have to do is be you. Just be your normal, cheery, friendly self and ask her out on a date. She'll say yes. I guarantee it."
"But Dash, I'm nervous."
"You're not anymore nervous than I was telling you I'm into dudes." Dash said. "Come one. You're wasting away here. I'm sure a real girl is more interesting than a couple of women who are paid to have sex with each other. A real girl, who you have been in love with since fourth grade. A real girl, who if she is even a tenth as sweet and kind as my Danny would be the perfect girl for you. A girl who works out and wants a partner." Dash raised his eyebrows, satisfied with how he sent
"Dash, you sure you're gay, the way you just said all that I think I'm going to have to fight you over her. And we just made up."
"Oh no, don't worry. I'm quite interested in my boyfriend's body, and intellect and knowledge. I'm quite fond of everything he has to offer, and no woman can offer any of that to me. No woman can give me the things I want. No woman can even give me a semi. Jazz is yours for the dating man. All you have to do tomorrow is find here and tell her you want her company." Dash was sincere, "I want this for you. All the things you've done for me now, by accepting me. Everything you've done in the past by protecting me, my name, and my secret… I can't thank you enough. I want you to be as happy as I am with Danny. If the answer to that is Jazz, go do it."
"Okay… okay, you're right. Tomorrow, I'm gonna find her and ask her out? Where to, do you think?"
"Nasty Burger should be fine for a casual chat for the first time. Take her to the movies. You're lucky that you can do it in town." Dash commented, strangely not having even the slightest trace of negativity in his voice. Danny made all the challenges go away for him.
"Huh?" Kwan was confused, "What do you mean?"
"Danny and I can't be seen in town dating, are you kidding me?"
"Right, I didn't think about it. I'm sorry that it's like that."
"One day it won't be," Dash replied, "But don't worry about me. You go and woo this girl."
"I will, tomorrow." Kwan replied, "I promise."
"Good, I should get going, man," Dash started, standing up.
"Wait, sit down," Kwan started. "I need to do something. I know that you... Your parents."
"I can't tell them." Dash sat down, his voice getting small like a whisper. Kwan knew those were the only two people on Earth that he could scare him. "Kwan… I can't fucking tell them."
"I know, that's why I want to make a go-plan, just in case shit hits the fan."
"Yeah. Doesn't have to be today, but I want you to bring over some clothes that we can keep in one of the spare rooms. My folks want another person in the house so they would be happy to have you, should that arise."
"Okay, thanks."
"And another thing," Kwan continued, "I want us to establish a code word."
"Code word?"
"Yeah, something you can text me that lets me know that you need to get out. I can be over quicker than the cops, and all you have to do is run. We need two, one that you can text, and one that you can say in a phone call without it sounding too strange."
"I can text you SOS." Dash answered, his voice making the slightest of recoveries.
"No, that's something you could pocket text by mistake, or that autocorrect may send by mistake. Make it a word that is recognizable but that we would never say." Kwan was a good strategist. Dash needed to have one or more possible places of safety. Dash's father was not a homophobe, but something beyond description. It was not so much bigotry as it was a need for him to be in control of all the things around him. Dash being gay did not fit in the master plan, so he would be apt to get violent if he found out. Kwan knew these things and wanted to plan it out.
"Shakespeare. That's a word I'd never use and you will know what it mean."
"So long as you spell it right."
I can spell it," Dash scoffed, regaining his voice "S-H-A-K-E-S-P-E-A-R-E"
"Okay, and a sentence for the phone." Kwan reiterated.
"Kwan, I need help with Lancer's science homework."
"But, he doesn't teach sci-" Kwan then realized, "That works, so long as-"
"They don't know who teaches what."
"Okay, that's it then. Remember to come over to my place with some clothes, bring at least a seven days worth. Well, not all at once, but I want you to have at least a week's worth of clothes here. Okay?"
"Yes, that's a good idea." Dash started getting up, "I really should be getting home now."
"Sure," Kwan said, "It was nice seeing you again man. And I'm happy for you. I really am."
They both walked to the door, Dash putting on his jacket again.
"Thanks man, I'll make sure to keep in touch man. And after tomorrow, I'm sure I'll have a reason to be happy for you. C'mon man, think about it, two football buddies dating the Fenton siblings. It has double date written all over it." Dash suggested.
"Okay, but let me ask her if she'll date me first, okay?"
"Okay," Dash said, "I don't know what to do, do I hug you or shake your hand or-"
"It's okay," Kwan realized that Dash was happy, "You can hug me, man."
Dash sorta reached over and gave him what we will call 'hetero-hug'. It was sort of the way an adult man would hug his elderly father. It was stiff (don't even go there) and the hug conveyed no emotion other than camaraderie. For both of them, that was the correct word.
"Okay, I'll see you later, bro." Kwan took this as his cue to open the door and let Dash go home. Dash crossed the threshold and went down the same garden path. Kwan shut the door to his house and watched. He watched as Dash made his way back to that car. Dash still walked like a state trooper, no swish. It was the same old Dash, just with a few old suspicions confirmed. Dash was back, happier and freer than ever. He was back, in more danger than ever.