Howling2themoon, thank you for your review - I'm glad you like it so far.
X-Sammii-X, I thought Louise needed a change! She has a lot of good qualities and I do actually like her, but they don't include her attitude. I think I'd be too scared to kill Cal off - you'll never forgive me! I hope you'll be able to update your Zax fanfic soon. Iain doesn't know how lucky he is that Rita loves him. Thank you for your review/
Tanith Panic, things can always get worse in the ED! I'm so glad you liked the plotting. I actually did more work on that than I usually do as I planned almost every scene before I started writing. Things aren't great for Lofty at the moment as no-one is looking for him - Dylan won't be happy! Thank you for your review.
20BlueRoses, thank you for your review. Ethan might struggle more with treating Cal because he was involved in the accident too and he's also worried about Alicia, but like Cal, I don't think he wants anyone else treating his brother! Louise is certainly falling in love with the baby... it is different for Rita, and she's emotionally-involved too!
westlife4ever80, it probably is impossible at times to tell where one condition ends and another begins - it could be either of both with Iain. Cal won't get the results for a couple of chapters, but it could go either way. He seems alert, which is positive, but he does keep collapsing!
InfinityAndOne, I think David is a good person to have around when you're scared. He doesn't make a big fuss of you - he's just there and there's something so reassuring about him. Or so it seems when I'm watching! I'm planning to go into more detail about Iain's flashbacks at some point. Thank you for your review.
Lily could hardly look at it.
The hyphema covered most of the iris and pupil. It pooled there, red and thick, obscuring Robyn's vision. Tremors ran through Lily. The hand holding the pen-light trembled. "It is a Grade 3 hyphema. We… we need to call for an ophthalmologist."
"They'll have closed the department by now," said Louise. "There should be someone on call, but you can do it, can't you?"
"Yes," said Lily through gritted teeth as she looked over Robyn's shoulder. "I can do it."
Robyn was crying. "Please, Lily. Help me! I can't see!"
"Lily, do you need me to get someone else?" said Louise.
Lily shook her head. "The other doctors are all busy. I have to do this. But…"
"But…?" said Louise. Her voice was unusually gentle.
"This is it," said Lily. "My fear. Yours is working with babies. Mine is working with eyeballs."
Louise's face filled with sympathy. "I might be able to get someone else. Or there might be an ophthalmologist on call. Or we could send Robyn to St James'."
"No, please do itnow!" begged Robyn. "I can't go blind. Glen needs me to take care of him."
Louise took Lily's hand. "I know it's hard, Lily. But I'm sure you can do this. I'll be right here."
Lily breathed deeply. "Robyn, have you ever had symptoms of coagulopathy, such as bleeding when you brush your teeth; blood when you blow your nose?"
"No," wept Robyn.
"And you haven't been taking aspirin?"
"No."
"Okay," said Lily, half to herself. "I must now check the intraocular pressure."
Louise held out the transpalpebral tonometer.
Lily took it in a shaking hand.
She removed the cap and checked the tip supports, moving them into the correct position. Focus on the tips. Not the eyeballs. The tips.
Lily took her time. She wanted to delay. If she delayed enough, perhaps another doctor would arrive and she could ask them to do it.
But then she switched on the tonometer and she could delay no longer.
She had to do it. She had to touch Robyn's upper eyelid.
She shouldn't actually touch the eyeball, but her hand would be so close…
"You can do it, Lily," said Louise.
"Please, Lily. Please help me!" begged Robyn.
Lily touched Robyn's eyelid. A shudder went through her. She wasn't pressing on it – she wasn't supposed to press on it – but she could feel Robyn's eyeball. Every time she blinked, it fluttered against Lily's finger.
Lily wanted to scream.
She placed the tip on the cartilaginous part of the eyelid and told herself it would be over soon.
Alicia was stable, but she hadn't regained consciousness. Her circulatory system hadn't failed completely; she hadn't arrested.
But that didn't mean she was going to be okay.
"So, um, Cal has gone for a scan," Ethan told her. "He wanted to be here and he's really looking forward to taking you out when you're better, but it's probably a good idea for him to get his head read before he goes out with you. Oh, not that I'm implying that any man who wants to go out with you needs to get his head read! Not at all! No! I think wanting to go out with you is more a sign of a sound mind than anything else. I mean, you're beautiful. Intelligent. Kind. Amusing. Brave. Everything really."
Alicia made no signs of having heard.
Ethan decided that was for the best considering the rubbish he was coming out with. "So, um, you'll need to start thinking about where you'd like to go. I'm sure Cal has lots of ideas, but after everything you've been through, it really should be your choice – and it's always a good idea not to let Cal have everything his own way. Though I'm sure you don't need my advice. I'm sure you have considerable experience when it comes to men."
There was a smothered laugh from one of the nurses.
"Oh gosh: did that sound insulting? I'm so sorry," said Ethan, blushing. "I only meant that you're intelligent and intuitive. I didn't mean to say that you… that you're a… that you have considerably more than average experience of dating. I'm sure you have had your fair share of boyfriends because you're so beautiful. Oh, not that I'm implying going out with Cal would mean you'd had more than your fair share! What I mean is… um, I'd like to tell you what I mean, but I'm all confused now and if I try to explain, I know it's going to come out wrong and insulting, so maybe it's best if I just keep quiet?"
The walls were closing in.
"Ethan?" he called out in a panic.
Cal knew his brother had been with him, but he couldn't see him now. He couldn't see anything. Just the walls, so close to his face.
"No, no, no…" mumbled Cal. He didn't want to panic. He was a Knight in Shining Armour and he was the one who rescued people, not the one who panicked.
"Cal, are you okay?"
The voice came from nowhere. Cal could see no-one and yet the voice was close to him. It wasn't Ethan's voice; it wasn't any voice he knew.
"Cal?"
"Where am I? What's going on? Where are you?"
"You're in the scanner, Cal. You have a head injury and you need a CT scan. I'm in the booth, speaking to you over the microphone."
Head injury… helicopter…
"Eth- aaargh!" Cal cried out as his head hit the wall. He must have tried to sit up. "Ethan? Where's Ethan? He's trapped!"
"Ethan's fine, Cal. You rescued him."
Yes… yes, I did…
"Cal, your heartrate's a little bit high. Can you breathe slowly and deeply for me?"
All Cal wanted was to get out. He had to see for himself that Ethan was still okay.
As Lily had expected, Robyn's intraoccular pressure was high.
"I… I will need to perform a gonioscopy," said Lily. She could feel herself beginning to tremble, but she tried to ignore it. This is not a horror film. An eyeball cannot hurt me.
Louise gave her a look of sympathy. She passed Lily the gonioscope. "It's all prepared. I used a methylcellulose solution."
Lily bit her lip and carefully lifted Robyn's upper lid, shuddering as she felt the shape of the eyeball beneath it. Reluctantly, she looked into the gonioscope at Robyn's magnified eye. It looked so big and… Lily tried to concentrate. Carefully, she rotated the gonioscope.
"There's something running down my face!" said Robyn.
"It is the methylcellulose solution," said Lily. "It is not harmful." She finished rotating the gonioscope. She tried to pull the gonioscope away, but as she'd feared, it was suctioned to the eyeball. "Robyn, I am going to… to push my finger against your eyeball to remove the gonioscope." Lily's breathing was erratic and her stomach churning. Her finger shook. As she brought it closer to Robyn's eyeball, her finger jerked.
Robyn screamed as Lily's finger brushed the eyeball. Lily cried out and shuddered as she felt the jelly-like substance.
"Do you want me to do it?" said Louise.
Lily wanted that very much. But she also wanted to get over this. She swallowed, returned her finger to Robyn's eyeball and gently pushed. She was shaking and every muscle in her body seemed to have tensed, but at last, the seal was broken and the gonioscope came away in her hand.
Lily clamped a hand to her mouth.
"Here." Louise was holding a bowl for her. "It's okay. It's over now. You did it."
The nausea gradually receded. Lily lifted her head. "I'm sorry."
"No, you were really brave, Lily," said Louise sincerely. "You were amazing."
Zoe and Max stepped out into the corridor. Max's eyes widened: it looked so different. So dark and dirty. Broken and wrong. So far from being a place of safety and comfort where patients were made better.
He looked around for Lily and Robyn, but there was no sign of them. "Where do you think they are? They can't have gone into any of the rooms."
"Maybe they were asked to help someone else," said Zoe.
Max could feel her trembling. He knew that as soon as she was with her patient, she would be the calm, competent and controlled Dr Hanna, but for now, she was just Zoe: a beautiful and courageous woman who'd come close to death and was now fearing for her closest friends. "It's going to be okay, Zoe. You can do this."
Zoe nodded, but without conviction. "We need to split up, Max."
He stared at her in shock. He didn't know why he was surprised. Zoe had a job in America and he was here. She hadn't wanted him to go with her before, so why would now be any different?
"Sorry, Max. I mean I need to get to Resus," said Zoe. "You need to do your job too – there might be people needing wheelchairs of trolleys." She smiled. "But we'll catch up later, Max. I promise."
Iain swung round to see the blonde. "I told you not to follow me!"
There was a slight hesitation. "My name's Rita and I'm a nurse."
Iain laughed humourlessly. "I think it's a bit late for a nurse, Rita." Sadness came into his eyes. "Much too late for my men. I should have been there. I should have warned them; protected him. But I didn't and now they're gone."
"Iain, you're not in a battlefield. You're in a hospital," said Rita. "The things you think you're seeing happened a long time ago."
"Have you hit your head at all, Rita?" said Iain.
Rita stepped closer to him. "No, but you have, Iain." She took his hand and moved it towards one of the trees. "Can you feel this?"
Iain frowned. He was touching something flat. Almost smooth. Nothing like tree bark.
"Bend down and touch the ground, Iain," said Rita.
Mesmerised by her quiet authority as well as confused by the tree, Iain bent down.
He didn't feel earth, twigs and vegetation. He felt cold, hard floor.
He looked up at Rita again. "I don't understand!"
"It's okay, Iain." Rita's voice was soothing. "I know it's horrible, but you've been through this before and you got over it. You can get over it again. Would you mind coming with me? We'll get you into a cubicle, then I'll get a doctor to come and look at you. I know it's a lot to take in, but you will be okay."