In that moment of sleepy consciousness between dreams and waking Wonder Woman had only one coherent thought, she was blessedly, beautifully warm. There was some kind of heat source radiating directly onto her back. She instinctively slipped back towards it, and found herself in the embrace of a man. Warrior training took over and she leapt upward intent on pummelling whoever had dared to share her bed.
She landed on top of the offending human, pinning them to the bed and punching them once upside the jaw before her conscious thought kicked in.
"Diana," the male voice rumbled beneath her as her eyes finally took in the cowl.
She jumped off of him, "Batman…" A pretty blush coloured her cheeks as she plopped back onto the bed beside him.
He put his free hand to his jaw and cracked it softly back into place, "Good morning to you too Princess."
"Batman," she tried to apologize, "I'm sorry. When I moved back and felt someone behind me,"
"Instinct took over," he filled in for her, "understandable after hundreds of years of man-hating lessons."
Normally she would have angrily corrected his comment but after slugging him in the jaw she felt that would be a little extreme, "Not man-hating, just mistrust. And a healthy sense of skepticism. The hate is reserved for the idea that any man is better than his female counterpart."
He started his typical morning stretches, "I would have hoped that after a few years in Man's world that your opinion might have shifted slightly. The world is not as your mother knew it."
She watched him warily. She was both impressed with his level of flexibility and surprised that he would mention her mother. Since her exile her teammates had been careful to avoid any reference to Themyscira, with the sole exception being Batman's continued insistence on calling her Princess.
"The world has changed since my mother knew it," she acquiesced, "and I would freely admit that men are not entirely useless." Her eyes smiled at him, "I would also say that perhaps the Amazons have been harsh in their assessment of Man's World and that it was naïve of me to assume the world was evil based only on the word of those I knew."
He twisted to stretch out his back and she accommodated the movement by shuffling slightly, "Well I'm glad to see the Princess has learned a valuable lesson." He met her eyes as he looked up at her.
"And that would be?" she asked.
Batman flipped slightly to put all of his weight onto the palms of his hands, grunting slightly under the weight, "That you shouldn't knock it until you try it."
His words brought back the memory of when Shayara had said the same words, albeit without Shayara's saucy, sexual implication. She immediately squashed the Shayara version in her head who was so kindly pointing out all of Batman's attractive features: his courage, his mystery, his determination, his challenge, his body…. She squashed it again. Sleeping next to, accidently straddling, and punching him was more than enough 'trying it' to last a lifetime.
"Wondy, Bats, morning!" Flash greeted them in the kitchen, "Have some breakfast! The butler makes the world's best pancakes."
"Better move fast though," John added, "Flash is living up to his name."
Superman did a double take when he saw the pair, "What kind of trouble did you two get into last night?" He asked upon noting Batman's jaw. It was already beginning to swell and had taken on a distinctive purple hue.
Diana's blush returned and she shuffled uncomfortably.
Shayara pounced, "While I'm sure that Superman was talking about patrol I'd love to know the secret behind the blush Diana."
The Amazon met her friend's eyes which were twinkling. Then Shayara mouthed the words, 'you took a shower' and winked. Diana's blush deepened at the Thanagarian detective's insinuation.
Surprisingly the save came from Batman, "Wonder Woman felt that it was prudent to awaken me with a shot to the jaw." He seemed nonchalant as he dug into the bowl of oatmeal that Alfred had procured.
"Really?" Flash looked excited, "You punched Batman Di? Wow your hard-core level just skyrocketed. Sorry Shy but you've been demoted to third most badass." The Thanagarian was too busy raising her eyebrows skeptically at the innocent Amazon to care.
"Perhaps Batman should be most thankful that Diana maintained control of her strength," was J'onn's input, "A few bruises are substantially better than a shattered jawbone."
Alfred produced another round of pancakes which Flash ate with such gusto that Shayara was caught in the splash zone.
She sighed deeply and asked testily, "How much longer until we get out of this?"
"Patience Shayara," J'onn said, "It would be worse if Batgirl hurried and made an error would it not?"
Despite agreeing she didn't want to dignify him with a response. She tensed her shoulder and John started rubbing small circles on her back, kneading out the ever present knots. Normally she wouldn't have let anyone touch her but… this one time she was willing to make an exception.
A car door slammed outside. "Uh Alfred," Superman asked, "Are you expecting someone?"
The butler's brow was furrowed, "Not explicitly sir." The butler went to check the door and the heroes held their breath unsure of the nature of the unexpected guest.
Alfred returned to the kitchen, "Not to worry Sirs, Miss, May I introduce the youngest member of the Wayne family, Master Timothy."
The boy appeared to be about sixteen, black messy hair and a wide smile as he took in the scene before him, "Adopted son actually, only Kayla actually has the Wayne bloodline. Wow Alfred, if I'd known that the Justice League comes to visit whenever I go out of town I would come home early more often." He smile was easy going and he casually took a seat at the breakfast table and snagged chocolate chip pancakes off of Flash's plate as though odd things like this happened all of the time, "So why are you here?"
The League wasn't sure what to tell the boy but Alfred stepped in, "Master Bruce was kind enough to offer the League hospitality while they work on a case."
"Mmmhmmmm," Tim said around a mouthful of pancake, "love the shirts by the way." He said with a chuckle, "I've got to get one of those."
"Your sister picked them up," Diana told him.
Tim nodded, "Yeah, that I believe," his grin was wry, "so where is she at? Kayla's usually up at the crack of dawn."
"Actually Miss Kayla has yet to return from her nightly activities," Alfred told him. Batman's hand twitched slightly under Diana's.
Tim's face dropped instantly into something darker, "What? She's not back? She's been out all night?" He twitched slightly, "I need to go look for her."
Alfred shook his head, "She's perfectly fine sir, well as fine as she can be," Alfred amended, "I received this lovely message from her at 3:30 this morning." The butler pressed play on a nearby answering machine,
"Allllllllllllfredo, heyyyyyyy, itsh Kayla! Bet you couldn't have guesshed that! Anywaysh I'm calling on the teleyphony becaushe I don't want you to worry. Becaushe you worry a lot! You need to watch that, you coulda get an usher…. Noooooo….. ulcer. Yeah that, don't get that, that would be bad. Anywaysh I'm going to be partizzling all night caushe I'm the shmokestack! I won't do shtupid things. I'll probabaly be shtaying at Starr's place caushe we're gonna crash there. I'll be back in the morning." There was a squeal in the background then Kayla's voice returned, "There are giant tree frogsh Alfredo! Gots to go! Lots'o'Love!" BEEP.
Flash was snickering at the message.
Tim shook his head, "Giant tree frogs? Where was she?" He shoved the last pancake into his mouth, "I'm going to pop over to Starr's and pick her up. Despite her apparent inability to get hangovers I still don't think she should be driving."
Superman stopped the boy, "That won't be necessary; I can hear her from here. She's coming up the drive."
They made their way to the lobby, all curious. True to form Kayla Wayne stumbled into the foyer a moment later, "Heyyyyy all." She tripped on the rug and Tim grabbed her, "Little bro man! You're home."
"And you're still drunk," he told her with a small grin, "It's nine in the morning."
She tried to shrug but ended up moving her whole body, "Party hard or don't party at all."
Tim's eyes apologized to the League, "Let's get you upstairs and put you to bed."
She yawned, "but I'm not tired."
"Of course you're not." Tim said, leading her out of the room.
He re-emerged ten minutes later, "Anyone want to play?" He held up an X-box controller.
"Ooooooo me! Me! Me!" Flash said quickly.
Tim tossed him a control then produced three more, "its four player" he said with a grin.
Diana had quickly gone from, "I don't understand the purpose of this game," to "May all of the gods on Olympus rain vengeance on you for knocking my small animated character off of a virtual cliff." Due to her lack of hands she had summarily forced Batman to work with her.
In the four player combat game they'd quickly slipped into a rotation where the loser was replaced with a bystander. This round Superman, Tim, Green Lantern and Batman and Wonder Woman all had controllers. It wasn't pretty.
Flash was moping because of the 'no superspeed' rule. Shayara was spitting fire at the fact that she couldn't seem to get the hang of the game and keep running herself off of the stage. J'onn was strangely sage about the whole thing, choosing instead to mediate between the players.
The round had already been going for ten minutes before Superman was finally obliterated from the game. He mumbled something about how they'd never had games like this where he'd grown up. The Batman/Diana combination and Tim targeted John next, effectively eliminating him from the game. His excuse was that he hadn't played this since he was a kid.
Tim had a wicked grin on his face knowing that victory was in his grasp. Batman maintained his silent persona throughout the game but Diana constantly spoke to both the screen and her forced partner, never expecting an actual response from either.
They played for another five minutes. The grin dropping from Tim's face, Batman's eyes narrowed with focus and Diana alternating between words of encouragement and Greek swear words.
Tim won by default when Diana accidently crushed half of the controller in her hand.
"The winner and still champion!" he crowed, throwing his hands in the air with a grin. After relishing the moment he said, "although it was nice to have some real competition."
Diana looked at the pieces of plastic in her hand, "I'm sorry about your game. I just got a little excited."
"Just a little," Shayara rolled her eyes.
Batman looked her straight in the eye, "You made us lose Princess."
"I made us lose?" she protested at once, "If it wasn't for my quick thinking you would have walked us right off that cliff!"
"We were only in that position because you missed the timing for the spinning kick," Batman shot back.
Her glare rivaled his, "The spinning kick was obviously a poor tactical option. Any decent combatant would know that the situation called for a two pronged frontal assault."
"Please," he scoffed, "that's just the limited Amazon fighting style talking. It was the moment for anything but a frontal assault, too obvious." The League's faces could only be described with the phrase 'oh no he didn't'.
"Not to interrupt this touching moment," Batgirl vaulted through the open window, "but I've got better things to do then watch the lovebirds spat."
The sheer audacity of her comment closed the mouths of both Batman and Wonder Woman. Tim's jaw however dropped open, "Who are you?"
"Batgirl 2.0" she answered and gave him a glare, "and who are you supposed to be? Justice League Junior?" She reached into her utility belt, "now who wants to be the guinea pig?" In her hand was what appeared to be a can of spray paint.
"How guinea piggish are we talking here?" Flash asked.
She juggled the can from one hand to the other, "I'm 99% sure that this will work."
"And the other one percent?"
She shook the can, "Your skin will turn pink for a week." She tossed the can and Batman caught it. He spared a second to squeeze Diana's hand and when she didn't object, he sprayed.
They waited a second and then pulled. Their hands came apart slowly, slowly peeling away, but they did come apart.
Batman flexed his hand once then immediately put on the glove, "Great, spray up, and then get out of Gotham. I've got work to do."
The League quickly vacated the premises. They stopped only to thank Alfred for their hospitality. Diana had an extra surprise. She asked Batman a second time if he wanted to go to the football game with her and when he predictably shot her down, she smiled. Turning to Alfred she asked him to give the ticket to Bruce.
"It's my thankyou for his hospitality," she explained with a smile, "I'll give him that date he's been begging me for. As long as he behaves himself, think he'll be interested?"
The butler smiled, "I'm sure that wild horses couldn't keep him away. He'd be delighted."
Batman and Batgirl vaulted through the window of the Manor only to return once Batman confirmed that the League was gone. Bruce Wayne emerged from the BatCave while Kayla slide down the stairwell banister to land at the bottom.
Tim was waiting, "What the heck was that?"
"Hilarious," Kayla was laughing, "You would not believe everything that went down."
Bruce may not have been wearing the cape but that didn't improve his disposition, "what," he growled at his daughter, "was that?"
She sobered immediately, "that was me saving your sorry butt from three more days of that. Although in retrospect it might have been good for you."
He didn't take her bait, "We agreed that you would stay away from any and every aspect of the Batman association."
"No," she said, "you decreed that I would stay away from any and every aspect of the Batman association. I agreed that it was beneficial for the time being. The problem has always been the actual fighting, being out in the open. I was careful. My being in the BatCave and Barbara's place in her old Batgirl costume is hardly going to expose anything to anyone. Besides if there's anyone who knows their way around genetics and the aspects of a cell it's me." She glared at him defiantly, "I did you a crapload of favours and only took risks that I was willing to take and that I deemed appropriate. You should be thanking me."
Tim was too busy being shocked, "How do you know about cells anyways? Or how to use the grapple or a motorcycle or anything besides clothes and boys and fashion?"
"Uh," she backpedaled into Wayne mode, "I'm intuitive."
Tim crossed his arms, "I want to know what everybody isn't telling me."
"As would I," Alfred cut in, "Secrets may swirl around this family but they should never," his tone was fierce, "reside within it."
Kayla said nothing, looking only at her feet. Bruce met Alfred's eyes for a moment and then the Batman was summarily beaten back by the elderly man's gaze, "On one condition," Bruce said, "Kayla you will never put that suit on again."
"Unless it's a dire emergency," she amended.
He shook his head, "Never." His eyes dared her to argue. She may have been the one of a few select people who could pull off a Batglare but even she had nothing on this particular look.
"Fine." She looked to the ground so that Bruce would miss the spark in her eyes. If there was one thing she'd learned at the Manor it was that there was a way around every rule, even those decreed by the Almighty Batman.
Bruce nodded once, "very well. Tim, Alfred perhaps we should sit down, the story is lengthy."
They made their way back to the kitchen. Kayla leaned over to Tim, "how much would you pay for a photo of Batman sitting on Wonder Woman's lap?"
Diana was in her room on the Watchtower mentally running through the events of the past 24 hours when Shayara burst into the room and plopped herself onto a nearby chair, "Spill."
"Spill what?" Diana asked innocently.
Shayara's eyes narrowed, "Nuh uh, you can't pull the innocent Amazon doesn't understand the language bit with me. I want to hear all about your secret adventures with the Bat."
Diana shrugged, "Not much to tell. We meet the Commissioner, poked around Arkham, ran some tests. Seemed like standard detective work to me."
"Bah," Shayara said, "that's what you'll tell the boys you did. You forget that I spent years training to ferret out half truths like the one you just told. I want an explanation behind the blush and Batman's lack of killing you."
"He wasn't lying about the blush," Diana insisted, "I did punch him in the jaw."
"Sure," Shayara said, "but the real question is why." Her eyes widened, "he didn't make a move did he?"
Diana laughed, "No by Hera no. We were sleeping and I accidently ended up rolling in his arms, freaked out and punched him on instinct."
Shayara stared at her and then burst out laughing herself, "So you made the first move? The innocent Amazon? That's gold."
"It was not a move," Diana insisted, "it was a legitimate mistake."
Shayara's grin was sly, "to your conscious mind maybe. Come on Di, we've all got a secret weakness for the bad boy." Diana shook her head and smiled. "Oh deny it all you want Miss Man-Hater but I know it's there. That was never my actual question."
"I know I'm going to regret asking," Diana said, "but what is your question?"
"Upon recent closer examination of you and your romantic, and I use the term lightly, endeavours the only question I have is if you'll choose to go after Bruce Wayne or Batman."
"Neither," Diana said firmly, "One is a womanizer the other nothing but a dark colleague."
"You keep telling yourself that giggles," Shayara's grin hadn't receded, "but I know a first crush when I see one."
Tim and Alfred finally stopped asking Bruce and Kayla questions in midafternoon.
"Whoa," was all Tim could say as he took everything in, "Whoa."
"Does Master Richard know?" Alfred asked.
Bruce nodded, "he does. Barbara too."
"And you're cool with this?" The words burst out of Tim at Kayla.
She shrugged not having said much during the conversation, "I don't have much of a choice but to be cool with it do I?"
"I suppose not," he agreed. Then his eyes narrowed slightly, "why didn't you just tell me from the beginning?"
She looked down again, "because I didn't want you to look at me that way. I didn't want to be that person. I just wanted to be Kayla Wayne and be relatively normal."
"Fair enough," Tim surprised Kayla and she looked up sharply, "what?" he asked, "you really think that I'm going to condemn you for things beyond your control? Besides now I can help with the search."
His eyes widened in surprise when Kayla's eyes welled up with tears, "hey now," he protested, "no crying." He put an arm around her, "I have one more question though."
She nodded and he began, "In the message, what was up with the giant tree frogs?"
Kayla blinked and laughed, "now there's a story."
Alfred waited until the two walked away and then turned to Bruce, "You should tell her."
Bruce sighed, he'd anticipated this, "no."
"She deserves to know sir." The sir was clipped slightly.
"It's not a prudent course of action." Bruce insisted, "It's unsafe and foolish."
Alfred shook his head, "I wasn't making the suggestion based on prudency. I was stating it based on what it the right thing to do. Which, as you should know sir, is the most important factor in any situation."
"The most important thing to do," Bruce repeated, "is to keep everyone alive. Alfred, this is one place where I will not bend. She does not get to know."
The butler wisely turned away, knowing that this was not the moment to win the battle, "Ah yes sir, heaven forbid that the almighty Batman face his challenges side by side with those who care about him. You must of course stand boldly in front of us all, that is much safer and more prudent sir."
Alfred's punch was deflated slightly by the sound of Dick's voice in the foyer. It was angry, "Who took my motorcycle?"
"Oh no…" Kayla said softly.
Superman was alone in the Watchtower infirmary. After their little adventure in Gotham the League was giving each other their space. He personally had flown home to Metropolis, cleaned up the small mess that had occurred while he was gone, checked in at the Planet, and visited Lois.
Despite his assurances to Star Labs that he would pick up the bodies in the afternoon he hadn't been able to make the run until the next morning. He had gotten distracted by the news that Luthor was getting chummy with the populace and that one of his opponents had suddenly taken ill. Superman had personally delivered the ailing man to the best medical facility in the country. He wasn't taking sides, just doing his part for an American. The fact that he'd casually burned a few posters of Luthor dancing with Diana with his heat vision was inconsequential.
Then he'd put off the assignment for most of the afternoon although it wouldn't take long, nobody really wanted to spend their time looking at dead bodies.
He sighed as he observed the two forms before him, both wrapped up in sheets. He wasn't sure what had Star Labs in such a tizzy; they'd refused to tell him anything. They said that they didn't want to give him any preconceived notions. He sighed again and then subtly shifted the muscles in his eyes that allowed both micro and x-ray vision.
Scanning straight through the sheets he began his primary diagnosis, although he wasn't technically qualified for this eventually he'd become accustomed to the more gruesome aspects his powers allowed. They'd also suggested, rather hesitantly, that Batman might wish to examine them as well.
He couldn't figure out why. One body was male, one female. He would guess the female to be about nineteen, the male seventeen. It was always depressing to see such young kids in a state like this, especially in his city. There were obvious burns over their entire bodies but nothing that he didn't think Star Labs would have a problem with. Perhaps that was the problem; besides the superficial burns over most of their bodies there was no real reason for these teens to be dead.
He checked every major organ, organ pathway, there didn't appear to be any trauma. These kids had just dropped dead. He dug deeper, turning up the microvision and looking straight into the individual cells. Superman wasn't entirely sure what he was looking for but something just looked wrong to him, something in the mitochondria. He moved on slightly perplexed. He froze when he hit the nucleus. He then quickly scanned a variety of cells in both bodies, making sure that he was seeing it right.
Superman immediately activated his comm link, "Batman, come in."
There was a pause while he waited. There was always a chance that Batman was currently unavailable. Finally, "What?" was barked over the line.
"The bodies from Star Labs," Superman said, still unable to believe what he had seen.
He could hear Batman frown, "What about them?"
"I need you to take a look at them."
"I'm busy making up for my day off," Superman could hear the disdain in Batman's voice, "I'm sure you can handle it."
"Normally I could handle it," Superman said even though he knew that Batman knew that. Superman checked over dozens of bodies for Star Labs every year, usually discovering some kind of virus in the cells or small mass of tissue that the tests had passed over.
Superman took in a deep breath, afraid that he was somehow wrong, "Batman, none of the cells in either body have any genetic material."
The sounds on the other end of the line froze.
"Mitochondrial?" Batman asked,
Superman shook his head even though Batman couldn't see him, "Nothing. No chromosomes, no random viral DNA, absolutely nothing."
"Don't touch them," came the order, "I'm on my way."
Wow there was so much feedback on the last chapter. I'm glad that everyone liked it so much and I appreciate every comment. I'm thrilled that everyone else found it as funny as I did because otherwise I'd just feel stupid laughing to myself as I type. And believe me if TEAM BATMAN shirts actually existed I would be first in line to buy them.