hey. i couldn't sleep, which is a bummer, cos i got work tomorrow afternoon, but a good thing is, i wrote my 21st chapter.

chapter name taken from song title 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' by Joy Division, whom i'm kinda hooked on atm!

Anyway, second to last chapter! Hope you enjoy!

"Chris," I hollered, "CHRIS!"

He continued to walk away, oblivious to my cries, until i caught up with him, grabbing onto his arms with such force it grant him to a hault.
"Typical," he snorted, "Barely out of a relationship and already foolin' around with Ace Merrill!"
"You think i've been foolin' around?"
"I know you have!"
My eyes widened in shock and i opened my mouth to plead my case to Chris, but before i had chance to utter a single word, he started to stride off and i grabbed him again, digging my fingers into his warm skin.
"Chris, wait, let me explain" I cried, tugging on him. He tried to walk away, but i still had firm grip on him.
"Why should i?"
"Because, you trust me, and you know i'd never do anything with Ace Merrill!"
"It sure looked that way" he spat angrily. I knew he was deeply upset. His forehead were creased with the frown on his face, his lips persued firmly together, and his eyes - sunken, and dark, were glistening like he was about to cry.
"Well it wasn't like that at all. You've got completely the wrong idea!" I pleaded with Chris, who was looking as far away from me as possible, "Chris, at least look at me!"
I stared up into his face, and slowly but steadily, he looked back at me with hurt eyes.
"What the fuck were you doing in a car with him in the first place?" he asked, spiteful in tone.
"I don't know, he offered to take me home from the poolhall and bar"
"What bar?"
"Irby's Billiards"
"You went to Irby's?" He asked, suprised.
"Yeah i did," I crossed my arms, suddenly feeling infurated at Chris's protection over me, "Is there a problem with that?"
"I thought you had to stay at home and pack?"
"I had a few hours to spare"
"So you went to a bar looking for Ace?" Chris cried.
"No, i went for myself, to get away from everything" I explained.
"You mean, to get away from me" Chris said glumly. I shrugged.
"Think what you wanna think Chris, but nothing happened with me and Ace, he just bought me a few drinks and..."
"To get you so wasted you couldnt walk or think, so he could drive you to a place like this and rape you!" Chris shrieked.
"Do you really think that little of me?"
"At the moment - yes"
"How brutal" I spat, "Anyway, why the hell are you here anyway, i thought you and Gordie were playing baseball?"
"Gordie hurt his wrist so he's gone home - probably to find that your missing! - so i went for a walk and ended up here"
"Well aren't you just the bees knees?"
"Quit being such a gobby bitch Andy" Chris growled, "So how much did you drink? I can smell your breath from here"
"I had whiskey and cigarettes, i fell flat on my face in Irby's with my skirt showing my knickers, Ace helped me out, how'd you like that?"
"I'm suprised he didn't just have sex with you there and then!"
"No, we didnt have a condom on us" I said, sarcastically. Chris threw me a dirty look, and shook my hands off my arm. He reached into his pocket and brought out a cigarette and a lighter, and quickly he sparked up, and started to puff on his cigarette. I watched him, the cigarette lingering between pink lips. Oh, how i wanted to kiss them so badly.
"So what did you do with him?" Chris asked, through a mouthful of smoke.
"I've told you, we did nothing"
"It looked like Ace really had a good go at you, sitting up, smirking like that cat who got the fucking cream"
"Well he didn't get the fucking cream" I raised my voice louder.
"You must think i'm so goddamn naive, that you can lie to my face"
"You must think i'm nothing but a dirty drunken whore, and i must've meant shit-all to you, because you won't believe me"
Chris twitched slightly, almost as if i'd just slapped him.
"Andy, how can you be so fucking dilusional? This is Ace Merrill we're talkin' about here!"
"Don't you dare called me dilusional!" I snapped, "You're the dilusional one here! Thinking you can tug on my fucking heartstrings, and making up this bullshit story about leaving your family for me, which we both know is possibly the most ridiculous pile of crap to ever escape your mouth. You wouldn't leave them, not even if you could't. I'm not saying you don't deserve to leave them, because you do, but to leave them for something like this?" I sighed, letting these words just leave my lips without a second thought, "Nothing but a summer romance - in the next month or so, it'll all be forgotten. Everything will go back to normal Chris; i'll be hundreds of miles away from you, and you won't think of me at all when i leave, so it's a wasted attempt"
For the moment, everything around me was silent. Not even the trees were blowing in the wind, or the water making rippling sounds, it was just deadly silent, as we both got used to what i had just declared. I let my fingers slip off Chris's arm, and i stood waiting for his reply. His lips were still persued, but he was staring straight ahead blankly, blinking now and again. I knew i had just crushed Chris's heart in that instant.

"You really don't get how much i love you, do you?" he finally spoke, but it was shaky and rattled with emotion, "You seriously don't know what i would give up just for you"
"You don't need to give anything up for me, Chris" I spoke softly.
"But thats where you're wrong Andy -" he said quietly, "You don't know half the things i would do for you if i tried. I could give you anything..."
"I don't want anything from you Chris - please don't make this difficult for us"
I started to cry then, big fat tears welling up and uncontrollably running down my face.
"I just love you so much, and seeing you, in Ace's car.... Andy? Why the fuck were you there?"
"Because i wanted to forget you" i admitted, sobbing, "I wanted to forget everything that happened between us this summer, i wanted to numb the pain"
"What pain?"
"The pain of having to leave here, to leave Castle Rock, and my friends...and you" I wiped my eyes on my arm, but it was no use, tears were still running down my cheeks.
"I thought this was nothing more than a summer romance - something that we would forget in the next month. We'd be nothing more, and we can never be together" Chris used my words against me to an emotional advantage, making me burst into a fresh wave of tears.
"You know i don't mean that"
"Do i? Because it sounded like you meant every goddamn word"
"I hate you," I screamed, and i started to pound my fists on Chris's chest, "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you making me feel this way!?"
I punched his chest over and over again, screaming in a rage of agony and complete anguished sadness. He just stood, letting me hurt him. He started to cry too, i could hear his sad whimpers as i fisted his chest. Over and over again, hurting my hand in the process of it. I collapsed to my knees, crying at Chris's feet. I couldn't stop, i was making myself feel physically and emotionally like i was about to throw up. I hung my head, sobbing loudly.

Chris bent down in front of me, so we were both the same height now, and he tilted my head up without uttering a single word. I blinked away tears, so i could stare into his blue eyes. He smiled weakly and took my head in his hands. He stroked my hair and down my cheeks, and i whimpered silently. Very slowly, he moved in towards me and his lips connected with mine. It was like everything in that moment just melted away. I kissed him so hard, it was like a magnetic force that attracted our lips together. His tongue explored around my mouth, and i could taste his smoky tongue against mine. Chris wrapped his arms around me, protectively, and i pushed by body against his, wanting to feel more closer than ever before. Chris pushed me backwards slowly, so my body was on the ground, and he crawled on top of me, still kissing me. My hands crept up his shirt, and i ran my fingers over his toned stomach. Oh, the urges that i could succumb to. How much i wanted to tear that shirt clean off his body, but instead, i ran my hands under his waistband, and i felt him shiver with pleasure. Chris's fingers creeped up my body, from my waist, over my navel, and i felt his hands glide up my bra and he started to massage my breasts. I shivered slightly, feeling an overwhelming wave of arousing lust, like an electrical force shooting up my body. Chris broke away the kiss.

"Are you okay?"
I nodded, and licked my lips softly, "Mhmm, its just..."
"Andy, if you don't want me to do anything..."
"No, no! Its just," I ran my fingers through my hair, "It feels so good to feel you again"
Chris nodded and smiled, and he continued to caress my body lovingly as i took my hands down his pants, and did the same to him. Every so often, Chris would shiver, and smirk into my mouth as he kissed me. He broke away from my lips, and started to kiss my neck, and down my chest area. Quickly, i loosened some buttons so he could continue.
"No," Chris said suddenly, "I don't want to"
"You don't?"
"I mean, i WANT to, but i can't, not here"
"Then, where should we go?"
Chris rolled off me, and held my hand, as i forced myself up. Chris wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him. He squeezed my hands.
"We can't go any futher" Chris said abruptly.
"Why not?" I had an idea why not, but i wasn't going to act like that. Sure, i wanted to know Chris's reasons for not pinning me down and wipping my pants off, but it was better to believe that he wanted to make love, without any sustancial concequences.
"You know why we can't do it"
"Because we don't have condoms"
"No...well...yeah, we don't. But thats not my main reason"
"Is it because i'm leaving tomorrow, and doing it will make us want each other more?"
Chris nodded, afraid words would cause tears, and i stared at him. He was right, i knew it, he knew it, we both knew what would happen. I'd end up making some foolish decision that would spiral out of control, and i'd end up drinking in the woods with Ace again (maybe not exactly that, but to that effect), and i couldn't do that to myself. But i wanted it, so badly. The sexual frustration was so bad, i couldn't stare at Chris, but rather, at his crotch area, picturing dirty thoughts.
"You understand where i'm coming from?"
Chris's words broke me out of my aroused state of mind, "Huh?"
"You weren't listening were you?"
"Umm"
"You were staring at my dick"
I looked up, slightly pink in the face. Chris was smiling, obviously amused.
"Is that bad?" I giggled.
"No, because i was doing the same with your tits"
We both broke into laughter, staring at the river as we chuckled. Chris pulled me into a hug, and squeezed me softly.
"You're my everything Andy, so just let me have you for this one last day, please?" Chris nuzzled against my ear, and kissed it softly. I stroked Chris's fingers. "I guess you'll have to, since it seems we can't be parted at the moment"
"Because i love you so darn much"
"And because i know i won't find anyone else as good as you to spend my last hours with"
I turned Chris's head towards me, and kissed his lips softly. He kissed them back, biting my lip in a teasing manner, and when we broke away, i closed my eyes and rested my head against his shoulder. Chris snuggled against me, and we both sat watching the ripples of the water, like nothing but love could tear us apart.