Those Weird Feelings No One Ever Gets
OK, guys, sorry, but I don't think this one will be very good, since I got stuck and uninspired.
I rolled over in bed.
It's too early to wake up, I know it is.
However early, I opened my eyes.
The room sat scalp-deep in ink and gouged out my eyes as soon as they were open.
I held my hand an inch from my eyes and attempted to squint it back into existence.
"What time is it?" I mumbled, turning to my alarm clock.
The familiar red glow was either hidden or gone, for there was no time to be told.
I made to reach for my side-table.
It was unusually hairy that night.
"The crap . . . ?" I mumbled, patting around for my lamp switch.
"I'm trying to sleep, here," Sasuke grunted.
"Turn on the light."
"No."
"What do you mean 'no'? Turn it on."
"No."
I heard him roll over, and he shoved me down from my sitting position.
"Go to sleep."
"What time is it?" I said, propping myself up with my elbows.
"I dunno, I unplugged your clock."
"Why, you idiot?"
"It's too bright. I dunno how you sleep with that thing right in your face."
"You've slept here hundreds of times, and this is the first time that's happened?"
"This is the first time I couldn't sleep," he growled, tugging on the blankets.
"Count sheep."
"My mind is too unimaginably complex for that."
"Why can't you sleep, weirdo?"
I managed to touch the curtains, and the lights of the city beyond dripped into my room.
Sasuke's eyes shone in the darkness like wet pebbles.
"I hurt," he said.
I smiled softly, secretly wondering if he could see it.
"Sasuke, no matter what happens with Neji, things will be OK. And you'll always have me to turn to, if that's comforting for you in any way."
I reached out carefully and touched his sloppy bangs.
"Not that," he growled. "Jesus, you're such a softy that you'd be a couch cushion if we hadn't come along."
"Then what are you talking about?" I said, losing my sympathy. "Did you hit your head or something?"
"Think back to an hour ago."
"We were playing scrabble."
He sighed.
"What else?"
"Um, we made smoothies?"
I could hear his patience winding down as if it was a loose string pulling from a shirt.
"And?"
"You spilt smoothie down your shirt when Minato jumped on your lap?"
"You're warm."
"Because I'm under the blankets."
"Oh my god. Just keep guessing, you idiot."
He mumbled something about my lack of sleep.
"You took your shirt off, and there was, like, smoothie everywhere."
"Yes?"
"Is that it? You're cold from smoothie?"
"Keep going."
"You shoved my face into the smoothie crap . . . "
"You're so slow at this shit. How can you not remember?"
I fell back onto the bed.
"Tired."
"You kind of fucked me, you moron."
I rolled over to look at him and our noses touched.
"You mean I topped?" I said in disbelief.
"You topped."
"I remember now!" I said, sticking out my tongue. "Can't believe I got away with that."
"Shut up."
"I hurt your pride," I sang. "I'm cool."
"You hurt more than that," he growled.
I was silent for only a moment before laughing in his face.
"Oh sweet Jesus! Your ass hurts? Oh my god, I think I just busted a gut!"
"Let's hope it was your dick. I wasn't cut out to bottom."
I rolled over until I was lying on top of him.
"Your feisty attitude makes the situation cute," I said.
"Geh uff!" he grunted, shoving me back onto the bed. "I was born to fuck you, and you know it."
"Hell nah," I said. "I have so much more fun screwing you than being screwed by you."
"There's absolutely nothing you like about having me doing you?"
"Well," I muttered, grateful that the darkness concealed my red face, "I do kinda like the way you . . . do that one thing, but not as much as— "
"What one thing?"
"The . . . lick-thing."
"Oh! The thing where I— "
"Don't say it out loud! Anyway, you can't tell me that Neji never did you."
"We never had sex."
My soul began to hug strangers and toss flowers about.
"You mean I'm your first and only?"
"No."
"What?'
"I gotta tell you: Itachi and I . . . well . . . "
"What?"
"Yes, you're my first and only."
"Don't joke about that kind of stuff!"
"It was funny, no?"
"No!"
"Incest is funny."
"No."
"Whatever, your face is funny. Anyway, Narusaurus, I was thinking while you were asleep— "
"How long was I asleep?"
"Probably four hours. I probably woke you up because I kept kicking you. Anyway— "
"Why the crap— ?"
"I was wondering: What do you think about Neji? I realized you never told me."
"You never asked me."
"Well, I didn't think I'd have to ask. I thought you'd say something, since the two of us had been dating."
I remembered how I'd thought Sasuke ridiculous for never asking my opinion on anything.
Oops. My bad.
"Why didn't you ask earlier?"
"I wanted you to tell me on your own, if it was major. Now I'm curious."
Oopsies.
"I dunno."
He was silent.
"Well, he's kinda rude . . . "
I felt him play with my hair.
"OK, so he's a complete dick-wad. I have no idea what you see in that guy. He's the biggest jerk I've ever met, and a total whore."
Sasuke ran his fingers along my hairline.
"He probably went to some academy for pimps, whores, and bitches. He's such an ass that I'm seriously surprised at how nice he smells. I'd usually beat the crap out of him if you didn't like him so much. I wouldn't save that guy from a mob of deranged monkeys if someone paid me for it."
I gritted my teeth and attempted to tear the mattress in half.
Sasuke kissed my cheek softly.
"I want you to get to know him."
I frowned deeply.
"I don't want to get to know that douche-bag."
"I want you to."
"Sasuke, he's the biggest bastard I've ever met. I don't even want you to know him, but I will not go as far as knowing him myself."
"Just do this for me. I'll be hanging out with Neji a lot in order to help him out, and if you come along, you can help, and if you got to know him, I think you'd really like him."
"No, Sasuke, there's no way."
"You'll come along, though?"
I frowned.
"Yeah, fine."
"Go to bed."
I sighed and shut my eyes.
As I fell down a three-hundred step stair case in a castle in the Sahara, a soft nudge made me slam to the ground, which cracked open and laughed at me.
"Naruto."
I rubbed my head.
"Ow . . . "
"Ow? Whatever, wake up."
I glared up the staircase at the talking bear.
"I'm awake, obviously," I growled. "I just fucking hit my head on a stone floor and you think I'd be asleep?"
"Naruto. What, did you die? Wake up."
I opened my eyes.
"Hm . . . ?"
"It's Tuesday, come on. We have to get to school."
"No," I grumbled, rolling over.
In the end, Sasuke bit my thumb until I finally got up.
Gaara did not sit at our lunch table that day.
Or any other table, as far as I could see.
And that day, I met the most bad-ass girl in my entire life.
She was beating up a guy in the hallway for calling her a hoe.
And she totally knew what she was doing.
Gotta say, she was pretty too, with pink hair. I think I've seen her before, though.
But, she was also a Sasuke-idiot, so she was out.
But, man, if ever anything was hot . . .
After school, Sasuke and I did our homework at his place.
"Give that back, un!" Deidara was shouting as he ran past us in the living room.
"Pay me, shit-head!" Hidan laughed, holding Deidara's latest sculpture above his head.
"I don't owe you any money, you fucker, un!" Deidara said, kicking Hidan in the shin.
"You fucking dick!" Hidan howled, dropping the sculpture.
"Bastard, un!" Deidara screeched, scooping up the two pieces of his sculpture and shoving Hidan into the wall.
"Fuck you, it's your own fault for fucking kicking me!"
"Sasori!" Deidara cried, holding his sculpture away from Hidan. "Mastar Sasori, un! Hidan's being an ass-wipe, un!"
Sasori sighed in the other room.
"Hidan, get your ass in here!" Kakuzu shouted.
"Don't ruin my house," Sasuke said simply, leaning over and correcting my math problems.
"Shut up, brat! You're not involved, un!" Deidara hissed.
"Just don't ruin it," he said again.
"I will fucking tear your fucking throat out, you little piece of shit!" Hidan shouted at Sasuke as Kakuzu dragged him into Sasuke's room.
"Don't ruin my room!" Sasuke called after them as he tapped the point of his pencil on the correct answer on his paper. "Just do the same thing for every problem, like that."
"But that was the last problem," I said.
The doorbell rang.
The house was silent at last.
The sanest man in the house answered the door.
"Oh, Neji," said Kisame. "Come in, come in."
Sasuke hesitated in his actions for only a second before going about his English homework.
His body moved as if it were an ancient system made of wood.
Deidara hissed as he looked from his sculpture to Neji. "Another kid?"
"They're only three years younger than you, Dei. Give it a rest," said Kisame, shutting the door behind Neji and walking back into the kitchen.
Sasuke stared scorch marks onto his papers.
I tapped my eraser rapidly against the coffee table.
After a minute or two of producing clay out of his jacket pocket, Deidara set his finished product on my papers and gestured at it.
"Good as new, right, un?"
"What does a brat's opinion matter?" I grunted.
"Answer the question, un!" Deidara demanded, pointing at the sculpture.
"I guess. But the sandy color is boring. Why don't you paint it?"
Deidara's face lit up.
"Why don't I paint it, un . . . ?"
He scooped up the sculpture and rushed into the kitchen.
"Sasori, un! I need paint, un!"
I looked up.
Neji caught my eye and nodded towards Sasuke.
I scowled and patted my open hand on my chest.
Mine.
He frowned deeply.
"There," said Sasuke. "Done. Just copy those." He stood up. "Want a coke?"
"Meh, sure," I said, writing down the problem number on my paper.
Sasuke swept past Neji without a glance.
While Sasuke was in the kitchen, I could feel Neji's urge to say something to me growing.
But I was the enemy.
I heard Sasuke open the coke as he walked back in and set the can in front of me.
"If it seems like there's, like, a sip less or something, then you're delusional."
"Probably Itachi," I said.
"Oh yeah, it was. But he won't tell you that."
"Sasuke!" Itachi called.
"OK, it wasn't Itachi, it was me."
"Don't ignore your guest," Itachi said.
Sasuke glanced feverishly at Neji.
"Coke?" he said shortly.
Neji smiled, but his voice was crying in deep sorrow.
"Sure."
I realized then why I had let him into my apartment the day before.
"They're in the refrigerator door."
Neji's smile dropped.
"Ugh," I grumbled, standing and walking into the kitchen.
Itachi watched me with a knowing look as I got a coke from the fridge.
"Here."
I tossed the coke at Neji.
He stared down at it.
"Thanks . . . "
I sat myself down next to Sasuke, leaning over my papers.
"No problem."
The interaction between the two of us and Neji grew thinner and thinner until it was a broken thread on the floor.
Sasuke shook his head.
"You can't even copy right. It's four plus five, not nine plus five."
"I hate this algebra shit," I said, erasing and rewriting.
A shadow parted the glass between us and Neji and Sasuke and I looked up at Itachi.
"Neji," said Itachi, setting a hand on his shoulder and leading him over to the couch where Sasuke and I sat. "It's been a while. Have a seat."
Neji, who seemed absolutely wary towards Itachi, carefully took a seat next to me.
"Uh, yes," Neji mumbled, looking down at the top of his coke.
"How about you boys finish up and I'll drive the three of you to the mall."
It was a statement. There was no getting out of it.
And so it was.
In the back seat, I sat between Neji and Sasuke.
I leaned carefully towards Sasuke's ear, resting my chin on his shoulder.
"What the fuck happened to helping him out?" I breathed.
Sasuke stiffened and tapped his fingers on his knees.
"I don't know what's wrong. I'm nervous," he whispered.
We glanced at Neji, who stared out the window sadly.
"Well, do you have a game plan?"
"I was thinking about just talking first."
Itachi glanced in the rear-view mirror.
"Sasuke," he said in his low voice.
Sasuke sat alert. "What?"
"Tomorrow my university is having something of an open-house for high school students. I signed you out of school so you might come take a look around."
"You signed Naruto out, right?"
Neji shifted uncomfortably.
"No. Sorry, Naruto, I didn't think you'd want to come."
I shook my head. "I wouldn't like it."
I wouldn't like being without Sasuke even more.
"Then I'll go to school," said Sasuke.
"Sorry, Sasuke. You're going to have to go with us."
Sasuke paled.
"More than one? Like, all of you nut-jobs?"
"All of us as in Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, and me."
"Why didn't you say something earlier?" Sasuke growled.
Itachi stared at the road. "I have to have some sort of grasp on you, Sasuke. Mother and Father aren't here to keep you on he right path, and I'm very busy. I know you want to go to college, and I need to help you, as a college student, as your guardian, and as your older brother."
Sasuke crossed his arms, but a look of content slipped out and over his face.
When Itachi stopped in front of the mall, we said our goodbyes, waved our cell phones at him to assure that we could be reached, and got out.
He drove away.
Sasuke and I threw a shady glance each towards Neji.
"Um . . . " Neji slid his hands into his back pockets.
"Let's go," Sasuke grumbled, taking my hand and pushing open the door to the JC Penny.
I quickly stopped the door from slamming in Neji's face.
"Thanks," he mumbled.
I looked away from his bleeding eyes before he could look up at me.
"What'd'ya wanna do?" Sasuke said, looking to me. "I kind of felt like going to the arcade."
"Sounds good."
I narrowed my eyes as he looked into them.
He furrowed his brow.
I nodded back at Neji.
"You have to talk to him," I whispered.
He frowned deeply. "I don't know what to say."
"Neji," I said, looking back at him.
He looked up from his feet.
"Hm?"
A look of surprise dusted his features.
A look of horror struck Sasuke's face the same way one strikes a gong.
"You like DDR?"
A smirk slid over his lips.
Did he ever.
"I hope you know this is war!" I shouted, stomping angrily on an arrow after losing for the third time against Neji.
"Just because you suck . . . " he said, crossing his arms, though panting nonetheless.
"No!" I pointed at him accusingly. "You cheat!"
"You suck."
He shrugged.
"Woah, woah, I will win, once I figure out how to debug this piece of shit!"
I kicked the machine.
"Just accept it."
"There's no way!" I howled, tearing at my hair. "I am unbeatable! Right, Sasuke? Right?"
"Not anymore!" he laughed.
"Air hockey!" I shouted, pointing at the table. "I know I can beat your sorry ass at that! This is my domain! I rule!"
I lost.
I fucking lost.
"Perhaps there is a new king?" Neji sneered.
I chucked my little hockey-bumper-thing at him.
"Queen, more like it," I hissed.
"Anything else you'd like to lose at? I'm pretty good at pinball, racing, shooting . . . "
"Get the fuck out!" I growled, crossing my arms.
He laughed with a sharp sourness.
"Since you used your money, how about I treat you to a smoothie?" he laughed.
I took note of the sudden cheer in his voice.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I grumbled as Sasuke and I followed Neji out of the arcade and to the food court.
Sasuke smiled.
I turned my head towards him.
"What's the smile?"
"I could ask you the same thing," he said, not looking at me.
I frowned.
Of course, I was not smiling.
He shoved me.
"That was good," he said. "You done good."
"Tell me about it."
He shook his head as we stepped up next to Neji at the Juice it Up.
I took note that Sasuke was standing next to Neji.
And that he was two inches taller than Sasuke.
We sat on the fountain as we drank our smoothies.
Our silence foamed about us like bubbles in a bath tub.
"I wonder what everyone wishes for, statistically, when they drop coins in fountains," said Sasuke slowly.
"I wonder what they really wish for," said Neji.
"I know."
They looked at me.
"Why, they wish for the benefit of Mr. Kite, don't you know?"
"Woulda never thought," said Sasuke."
"That's a lot of people who know the same guy," said Neji.
"That's a lot of the same guy," said Sasuke.
I took a note on how well they got on.
Seeing as I never would have thought.
Somewhere inside, I smiled.
Somewhere inside, I cried.
Somewhere inside, there was peace.
"What happens to the coins, anyway?" said Sasuke.
Neji and I shrugged.
Sasuke pulled out a coin.
"I wish that my shoe laces will never fray," he said, and he tossed the coin a few feet in front of him onto the ground."
"You missed," I pointed out, sipping my smoothie.
"I guess it's better off over there," said Neji, sitting Indian-style on the fountain.
I gave him a look.
Sasuke nodded.
"Listen," Sasuke said, leaning on me, "don't you love to find change on the ground?"
"Yeah."
"But, afterwards?"
"I lose it in the wash."
"There!" he pointed his cup at me. "So, what's the point of keeping it when someone else will find it and be happy?"
I frowned.
"You get the happiness of finding change, and then the happiness of knowing that someone else will be happy finding it," said Neji.
I tapped my straw on my chin.
It was obvious that they'd had this conversation before.
"Course, I keep quarters," said Sasuke.
"Meh," said Neji, as intelligent as he is.
Sasuke's ring tone began to play.
"Brother," he said, holding his phone to his ear.
Neji dipped his fingers in the fountain water.
I sipped from Sasuke's cup.
"Yeah, 'kay," said Sasuke, whipping his cup away from me.
He hung up.
"Itachi's going to be here in, like, five minutes, so I'm going to go peeee," he set his smoothie down and stood up, "and then we'll go out front."
He ran for the bathrom.
I looked at Neji.
He looked at me.
"Ah yes," I said, standing up.
He raised an eyebrow.
I held out my hand.
"I'm Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto."
He looked at my hand inquisitively.
He looked at my soft smile.
He smiled a small smile to himself.
"Neji. Hyuuga Neji."
We shook hands.
And I kept smiling.
TBC
Sorry that these chapters suck eggs, guys. I'm totally uninspired.
But, on the plus side, if I'm not too much of a lazy ass to do it, I have a bombing idea for a sequel to this story. And it's actually got a plot, unlike this one. And even I think it's an awesome idea, which is uncommon, since I think all my ideas are mediocre.
CURRENTLY ON A BEATLES HIGH. I JUST SAW ACROSS THE UNIVERSE TWICE, AND I AM SO IN LOVE. HURHUR. I AM A TARD.